Envious Jokes
7 envious jokes and hilarious envious puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about envious that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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My grandfather always said, "Be envied, not envious."
I wish I'd thought of that quote.
In a confession booth...
ME: I committed all seven deadly sins in 30 minutes.
PRIEST: Wow I gotta hear this.
ME: I was angry and envious at my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and I didn't share.
PRIEST: You forgot pride.
ME: No, Im pretty proud of this.
Lottery
Guy is sitting alone in his house watching tv and envious of the latest person who just won the lottery.
" God, I wish I could win the lottery"
Another few weeks goes by and again someone else wins the lottery.
"God, I wish I could win the lottery"
Another month goes by and still another person wins the lottery.
"God, I wish I could win the lottery"
That same minute a loud clap of thunder and the Heavens open up. In this bright angelic light comes a voice....... " Dude, work with me. Buy a d**... ticket"
After 30 years of marriage, I'm tells my envious friends that I still get s**... almost every day..
Friends: no way!
Me: yup! Almost on a Monday.. almost on a Tuesday.. almost on a Wednesday.. almost on a Thursday, almost on a Friday, almost on a Saturday and almost on a Sunday!
Which large body of water is the most envious?
The Jealousy
They say I have an inflated Ego.
I don't know what they mean. Got an inflatable castle for my kids,
and I guess they're just envious that I'm such a great father.
What do you call an envious ocean?
A jealou'sea'
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