The Best 57 Entry Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Entry jokes. There are some entry applicants jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these entry braille puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Entry Jokes and Puns
A holocaust survivor goes to heaven...
A holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven and upon entry through the Pearly Gates, meets God and says, "hey, do you want to hear a Holocaust joke?"
To which God replies, "I guess, go ahead."
After the joke God responds, "that was not funny."
The Holocaust survivor answers in turn, "well, I guess you had to be there."
Jesus is down by the gates to Heaven
When an old man approaches.
"Well, what have you done to deserve entry to Heaven?" Asks St Peter.
"To be honest." replies the man, "I am merely a simple carpenter. It was my son who was truly great. Although he wasn't my biological son... his birth was miraculous, still I loved him very much. Later in life he went through many trials and transformations. He spread joy and his story is told all over the world even to this day."
Jesus looks at the man, with a tear in his eye, and says "Father?"
The man looks back; "... Pinocchio?"
I tried joining the American Paralympics team
didn't make it in though. entry costs an arm and a leg.
I got fired from my job as an accountant
I misunderstood what they meant by double entry
Why is Adam known as the first accountant?
He turned a leaf and made an entry.
Panda
Two guys are walking in a bamboo forest when the spot a panda. One says to the other "Dude, that panda just ate an entire bamboo shoot!" The panda then pulls out a gun and shoots the one man. The other man says "Why did you shoot my friend?" The panda tosses him an encyclopedia and says "I'm a panda, look it up." The panda bear walks off as the man skims through the pages. He finds the panda entry and reads it aloud. "Panda Bear: Eats bamboo, shoots, and leaves."
An accountant goes to the doctor...
An accountant knocks on the door of his doctor's surgery and walks in.
"Hello, doctor. Please help. I just don't know what's wrong with me. Goodbye." With that he turns around and walks out.
----
30 seconds later he is back. "Hello again, doctor. Please help. I just don't know what's wrong with me."
The Doctor looks up from his desk and says:
>"Mmm. I think you have a serious case of double entry."
Getting a job right out of college...
ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING:
Hiring recent college grads.
REQUIREMENTS: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and super powers.
Dr Watson asks Sherlock Holmes...
"Holmes, why are you spreading fruit juice on my buttocks?"
"Lemon entry dear Watson, Lemon entry"
Commercials that never made it to air
Here's my entry:
"Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault and has ruined your life? Next time, use Durex".
Being a prostitute on the Enterprise sounded interesting...
But actually it's mostly Data entry.
You can explore entry gated reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean entry foyer dad jokes. There are also entry puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A man sends 10 puns to a pun contest in hopes that at least one of them would be selected as the winning entry
No pun in ten did.
The Pun Competition
A man enters a pun competition in his local newspaper. They will accept more than one entry if sent in separately, so the man writes out 10 puns and mails them off. A week later he opens the newspaper to see if any of his puns won. Unfortunately *no pun in ten did*.
College Assignment: Short Story
So, the assignment in a college writing class was to compose a short story using as FEW words as possible, but in order to be accepted, the story had to include discussion of three things:
1) Religion
2) Sexuality
3) Mystery
The winning entry:
"God God! I'm pregnant! I wonder who did it."
A quiet cottage applied to be a part of the Boisterous Domicile Club
They refused him entry.
They said he wouldn't be a loud inn.
Common scene
Q: Why are condoms transparent?
A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is Restricted!
Captain's log...
The first mate on a ship got drunk one day, and the captain entered it into the log: "The first mate was drunk today."
The first mate begged the captain to remove the entry, but the captain was adamant that once an entry was in the book it could never be removed.
The next day it was the first mate's turn to make the log entry, and in it he wrote: "The captain was sober today."
I've just been refused entry to the National Alzheimer's conference.
"Do you know who I am?" I shouted.
"For this entry level position, we're looking for..."
"Someone with the wisdom of a 50-year old
The experience of a 40-year old
The ambition of a 30-year old
The energy of a 20-year old
And who, ideally, is willing to work for free."
I recently found my Journal from my trip to Europe. Allow me to share an entry.
August 30, 1997, 11:49pm - [Paris]
Woah! Princess Diana just waved and smiled at me from her car! What are the odds!
A woman is cleaning her daughters room when she stumbles upon her diary. She sees an entry that reads: "I lost my virginitty today"
The woman starts crying.
"How can this happen? I've given her everything. Why did she do this to me? She can't be serious about this. She's in 9th grade for gods sake. How does she not know how to spell virginity?"
Footballer Dwight Yorke just got denied entry to the US due to an Iranian stamp in his passport.
Makes a change at least, most of his troubles are from briefly entering Jordan.
Did you know the entry fee for the Paralympics is really high?
I hear it costs an arm and a leg.
What does captain Picard say when he's getting frisky with a woman?
The captain's log... is ready for entry
Carl opened a zoo.
Carl opened a zoo and made the entry fee $60. No one turned up.
Carl made the entry fee $30. Yet again, no one turned up.
So, Carl made the zoo free to enter, soon enough, it was full.
Carl shut the gates, released the lions, and made the exit fee $60.
Fortune cookie: "Every exit can be an entry"
Long story short:
My girlfriens said no...
Sherlock Holmes turned to Dr Watson and announced: "The murderer lives in the house with the yellow door."
"Good grief, Holmes," said Watson. "How on earth did you deduce that?"
"It's a lemon entry, my dear Watson."
Watson found Holmes busily painting the front door bright yellow.
"What on earth is that, Holmes?"
"It's a lemon entry, my dear Watson."
I was watching a video of some entry level iron workers.
It's riveting.
A certain marsupial was denied entry into a local zoo...
His curriculum-leaftae was perfect, but he lacked the koalafications
Roy Moore opened a clothing store in Birmingham, but it was quickly shut down.
Parents were pretty upset when they realized "Teen girls clothes always half off" was the entry policy, not a sale.
A nightclub near me won an award for "The weirdest entry policy"
Which is no small feat.
I don't know why millenials always complain about the job market after college
In the 15 years since I graduates I've held 5 entry level positions with every promotion.
A priest and a bus driver stand outside the gates of heaven.
God lets the bus driver in, but denies entry for the priest. The priest exclaims:
-Why was that man let in? He gambles, drinks, sheats on his wife and is a bad father figure to his kids.
I on the other hand have served you my entire life.
God replies:
-That might be, but when you preach, everybody falls asleep in the church. When he drives the bus, all the passengers pray.
Entry level position available!
3 years forklift experience required
5 years general labour required
Class 5 drivers license required
2 years kitchen experience required
4 years retail services required
2 years hospitality services required
4 years janitorial services required
3 years business degree preferred
5 years relevant experience required
$11 an hour to start(with 20¢ raise for every year of employment)
.
.
.
.
That's it. The joke is the current hiring system of the world.
A panda walks into a bar
He orders a meal and quietly eats it. When the bartender comes with the check, the panda pulls out a shotgun, shoots the bartender, and prepares to leave the bar. The bartender, on his last breath, screams Why?! The panda pulls out a dictionary, points to the entry on pandas, which reads: Panda (n.) – Eats shoots and leaves.
The doorman at a bar refuses a patron entry because dress code requires a tie be worn.
So the patron goes back to his car and pulls a set of booster cables from the trunk, ties it around his neck like and tie and returns to the doorman.
The doorman says. "OK, that will work, but you better not start anything".
Why was the pc gamer denied entry into the nightclub?
It was exclusive.
[Accountancy joke] What do you call a threesome between 2 male accountants and 1 female?
Double entry.
*Badum dun tssss*
They said 9/11 was an inside job, but that would never happen again in this day and age.
They would probably want a minimum of 10 years of experience in suicide bombing for an entry level position.
What is an accountant's fetish?
Double Entry
Civilian: Detective! There's been a robbery at my apartment!
Detective: What did they take?
Civilian: The TV, the music system, all the cash from my locker, the mini fridge, my most expensive bottle of champagne!
Detective: What was the point of entry?
Civilian: I guess they wanted to get rich
Entry level job ad
Minimum 8 years of experience
Irony
Commu-con, the communist convention has paid entry tickets.
Canadian wildfire from BC turned back at USA border by customs and boarder patrol.
Upon admitting to smoking "fields of marijuana" on its way to the border, the fire was denied entry, and banned for life from entering the US.
Adam is the first accountant.
He made the first entry.
A guy goes to a club.No entry_-_
A guy goes to a club; the bouncer stops him. "No tie, no entry." He walks back to his car to find a tie. All he found were jumper cables so he puts them around his neck like a tie. He goes back and says "How's this?" The bouncer says "I'll let you in, but don't start anything."
My friend took me to an authentic Chinese restaurant and when we arrived there was a pen of dogs to choose from in the entry.
That's not what I meant when I said you can pick the Spot.
Every time I start a journal entry I make sure the first two words are surrounded by bright yellow
It's the highlight of my day
I applied to be a doorman but didn't get the job due to lack of experience!!!!
That surprised me, i thought it was an entry level position. :(
A big porcelain basin was demanding entry to our house.
Let that sink in.
It's so rewarding...
...to tell children at the station that the entry to Hogwart's Rail is just a matter of speed...
Looking for a relationship is like finding a new job...
People are way more interested when you already have one already and want 5+ years experience with a laundry list of impossible qualifications for an entry level position.
What would the White House be like for Trump if he loses the 2020 election?
For-Biden Entry
Why was the Minstrel refused entry to the tavern?
He was BARD for life.
No tie, no entry
Guy decides to go to a swanky new nightclub. He gets to the door and the bouncer stops him. "You have to have a tie to get in".
Guy goes back to his car to see if he has a tie laying around. No dice. So he takes his jumper cables and ties them around his neck.
Goes back to the door, bouncer looks him over, says "ok, you can go in, just don't start anything ".
"No forced entry,"
the detective mused. "That means it could only be .... the piano player!"
Everyone gasped and turned towards the mild-mannered entertainer.
"He's the only one who has all the keys!"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the entry exclusive jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working entry unauthorized piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.