Entry Jokes
99 entry jokes and hilarious entry puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about entry that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Have a lighthearted break from all that data entry with these funny entry jokes. You won't be able to contain your chuckles when you read about no entry, double entry and gated access. Enjoy a fun break today with these humorous reads.
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Funniest Entry Short Jokes
Short entry jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The entry humour may include short entrance jokes also.
- I tried joining the American Paralympics team didn't make it in though. entry costs an arm and a leg.
- Watson found Holmes busily painting the front door bright yellow. "What on earth is that, Holmes?"
"It's a lemon entry, my dear Watson." - Roy Moore opened a clothing store in Birmingham, but it was quickly shut down. Parents were pretty upset when they realized "Teen girls clothes always half off" was the entry policy, not a sale.
- I applied to be a doorman but didn't get the job due to lack of experience!!!! That surprised me, i thought it was an entry level position. :(
- What does captain Picard say when he's getting frisky with a woman? The captain's log... is ready for entry
- Footballer Dwight Yorke just got denied entry to the US due to an Iranian stamp in his passport. Makes a change at least, most of his troubles are from briefly entering Jordan.
- Getting a job right out of college... ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING:
Hiring recent college grads.
REQUIREMENTS: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and super powers. - 5 things I hate in lists 1) Missing entries
2) Repeated entries
4) Repeated entries
5) Incomple - A certain marsupial was denied entry into a local zoo... His curriculum-leaftae was perfect, but he lacked the koalafications
- I don't know why millenials always complain about the job market after college In the 15 years since I graduates I've held 5 entry level positions with every promotion.
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Entry One Liners
Which entry one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with entry? I can suggest the ones about exit and intro.
- What was Tasha Yars' favorite job? data Entry
- Just finished building doors for my fish. I'm highly skilled in the field of carp-entry.
- Why was the Minstrel refused entry to the tavern? He was BARD for life.
- 100% of sinks get refused entry to bars.... Let that sink in.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter
- A big porcelain basin was demanding entry to our house. Let that sink in.
- It's a real-shame I failed my entry-level idiom class I came close, but no sugar.
- Why was the pc gamer denied entry into the nightclub? It was exclusive.
- I was watching a video of some entry level iron workers. It's riveting.
- What's the best way to make sure the Italian entry wins a Broadway Trophy? Rigatoni
- Entry level job ad Minimum 8 years of experience
- A nightclub near me won an award for "The weirdest entry policy" Which is no small feat.
- I got fired from my job as an accountant I misunderstood what they meant by double entry
- Adam is the first accountant. He made the first entry.
- Irony Commu-con, the communist convention has paid entry tickets.
No Entry Jokes
Here is a list of funny no entry jokes and even better no entry puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you know the entry fee for the Paralympics is really high? I hear it costs an arm and a leg.
- I hired a guy to stain my entry way but he used a very deep brown color that I don't like. So I fired him and told him to never darken my door again.
- I'm painting my entry door and my kid walks downstairs... And asks "Hey Dad how's the door doin'?"
And I respond "eh it's hanging in there."
Best setup for a Dad joke I had yet. - Why should you never make love to a female astronaut twice? You might burn up on re-entry.
- I've just been refused entry to the National Alzheimer's conference. "Do you know who I am?" I shouted.
- What would the White House be like for Trump if he loses the 2020 election? For-Biden Entry
- My friend took me to an authentic Chinese restaurant and when we arrived there was a pen of dogs to choose from in the entry. That's not what I meant when I said you can pick the Spot.
- A quiet cottage applied to be a part of the Boisterous Domicile Club They refused him entry.
They said he wouldn't be a loud inn. - Common scene Q: Why are condoms transparent?
A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is Restricted! - Commercials that never made it to air Here's my entry:
"Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault and has ruined your life? Next time, use Durex".
Entry Level Jokes
Here is a list of funny entry level jokes and even better entry level puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The biggest problem with prostitution as a career path... All the jobs are entry level
Double Entry Jokes
Here is a list of funny double entry jokes and even better double entry puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm a bokeper Q: Isn't that bookkeeper? A: People always mix me up with my brother. He's... a double-entry bookkeeper.
Comedy Entry Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about entry you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean arrival jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make entry pranks.
Beethovens Passing
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, a group of drunk guys came walking through and heard a weird noise coming through the entry way of Beethovens grave, they ran away, terrified and got the priest to come and check it out, the priest took one listen and ran away, terrified. The priest later got the town magistrate to take a listen as well
When the magistrate arrived, he heard the noise, and said "Ah yes, thats just Beethovens Ninth Symphony being played backwards"
He kept listening, and soon said "Theres the Eighth, the Seventh, the Sixth" and so on.
Suddenly, the magistrate realized what was happening, he gathered the crowd and hushed them, when it was silent he said "Don't worry everyone, it's just Beethoven decomposing"
Jesus is down by the gates to Heaven
When an old man approaches.
"Well, what have you done to deserve entry to Heaven?" Asks St Peter.
"To be honest." replies the man, "I am merely a simple carpenter. It was my son who was truly great. Although he wasn't my biological son... his birth was miraculous, still I loved him very much. Later in life he went through many trials and transformations. He spread joy and his story is told all over the world even to this day."
Jesus looks at the man, with a tear in his eye, and says "Father?"
The man looks back; "... Pinocchio?"
Sawing Wood
So a gentleman walks into a Sears store to buy a saw. The store employee recommends to the customer a smal entry level chainsaw insisting that it will make the man's job much easier. The customer is reluctant at first but upon being assured that anyone can use a chainsaw he decides to make the purchase. So he took his new saw home and started cutting wood. But it took forever and was much slower than his trusty old hand saw. Irate, the man took his saw back to the store to complain to the employee about how bad it was. The employee checks the saw out briefly, sets it down and starts it right up. The customer was flabbergasted. "You mean it turns on and makes noise!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The first mate on a ship decided to celebrate an occasion with a "little" stowed away r**....
Unfortunately he got drunk and was still drunk the next morning. The captain saw him drunk and when the first mate was sober, showed him the following entry in the ship's log: "The first mate was drunk today."
"Captain please don't let that stay in the log," the mate said. "This could add months or years to my becoming a captain myself."
"Is it true?" asked the captain, already knowing the answer.
"Yes, its true," the mate said. "Then if it is true it has to go in the log. That's the rule. If its true it goes into the log, end of discussion," said the captain sternly. Weeks later, it was the first mate's turn to make the log entries.
The first mate wrote: "The ship seems in good shape. The captain was sober today."
Four guys were golfing when one gets a phone call and walks away
The other three guys start talking about how successful their sons have been. The first guy explains how his son started as an entry level stock broker, but now owns his own wealth management firm. The last time he got a friend a gift, he gave him a half-million dollar investment portfolio. The second guy then brags about his son. My son is so successful, he started out as a used car salesman but now owns his own dealership. He recently gave a friend a brand new Bentley as a birthday gift. The third guy, not to be outdone, says that his son started as a carpenter but now owns a construction company. The last gift he gave a friend was a brand new house. At this point, the fourth guy returns from his call. The other gentleman ask about his son, to which he replies "Well, I'm not too pleased with my son right now. He has been unemployed for the last year and a half, and he recently told me he is gay." As the other men look at him in horror, he continues "But he must be really good at what he does, because his last three boyfriends gave him a huge stock portfolio, and new luxury car, and a brand new house."
Panda
Two guys are walking in a bamboo forest when the spot a panda. One says to the other "Dude, that panda just ate an entire bamboo shoot!" The panda then pulls out a gun and shoots the one man. The other man says "Why did you shoot my friend?" The panda tosses him an encyclopedia and says "I'm a panda, look it up." The panda bear walks off as the man skims through the pages. He finds the panda entry and reads it aloud. "Panda Bear: Eats bamboo, shoots, and leaves."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is speaking with Saint Peter at the gates of Heaven.
Saint Peter asks him if he has done any good deeds in his time on Earth to merit entry into paradise.
Thinking for a moment, he says, "I was once in a bar in Arizona. I noticed a beautiful woman sitting alone, but before I could introduce myself a bunch of h**...'s Angels stormed in and started wrecking the place. Then they scooped the woman off of her bar stool and started throwing her around and terrorizing all of the other guys there."
Saint Peter asks, "And what did you do?"
"Well, first I went outside and kicked their motorcycles over, then I went back in and found the biggest, ugliest, meanest one of them I could. Slapped him in the face, then snatched one of his earrings out and said, 'Listen up. Either you and your friends clear out of here and leave that woman alone or you're going to have to deal with me'."
Clearly impressed, Saint Peter asks, "When did this happen?"
"About five minutes ago."
An accountant goes to the doctor...
An accountant knocks on the door of his doctor's surgery and walks in.
"Hello, doctor. Please help. I just don't know what's wrong with me. Goodbye." With that he turns around and walks out.
----
30 seconds later he is back. "Hello again, doctor. Please help. I just don't know what's wrong with me."
The Doctor looks up from his desk and says:
>"Mmm. I think you have a serious case of double entry."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dr Watson asks Sherlock Holmes...
"Holmes, why are you spreading fruit juice on my buttocks?"
"Lemon entry dear Watson, Lemon entry"
a soldier finds himself outside after night fall
A soldier finds himself outside his base of operations in a foreign country after night fall. He managed to find himself back at the main gate of entry but was unable to produce any physical evidence that he was in fact born and raised in the USA. The guard at the gate was not allowed to let anyone in who wasn't a citizen of the United States. The solider suggested that the guard ask him a few questions to prove in nationally. The guard then replied, "OK, sing the national anthem." The solider then sang the national anthem just as he has heard it at countless sporting events and county fairs. When he finished the guard said, "OK, now sing the second verse." The solider yelled, "I don't know the second verse!" to which the guard said,"you're obviously American, c'mon in."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Being a p**... on the Enterprise sounded interesting...
But actually it's mostly Data entry.
Saw a sign today..
Planned Parenthood
Rear entry only.
What did the bar say when he walked into the bar?
Sorry, you're barring my entry.
"For this entry level position, we're looking for..."
"Someone with the wisdom of a 50-year old
The experience of a 40-year old
The ambition of a 30-year old
The energy of a 20-year old
And who, ideally, is willing to work for free."
I recently found my Journal from my trip to Europe. Allow me to share an entry.
August 30, 1997, 11:49pm - [Paris]
Woah! Princess Diana just waved and smiled at me from her car! What are the odds!
A woman is cleaning her daughters room when she stumbles upon her diary. She sees an entry that reads: "I lost my virginitty today"
The woman starts crying.
"How can this happen? I've given her everything. Why did she do this to me? She can't be serious about this. She's in 9th grade for gods sake. How does she not know how to spell virginity?"
In what location are additional entry ways always in demand?
Mordor
Carl opened a zoo.
Carl opened a zoo and made the entry fee $60. No one turned up.
Carl made the entry fee $30. Yet again, no one turned up.
So, Carl made the zoo free to enter, soon enough, it was full.
Carl shut the gates, released the lions, and made the exit fee $60.
A farmer goes to a horseback race...
Host: Welcome to the race, we only accept Thoroughbreds, Quarters, Arabians, and Paints. Entry fee is $5.
Farmer: Can I get in with a buck?
A man has been in a relationship with his girlfriend for over a year and a half
One day, however, one of his friends notices that he seems down.
"Are you okay buddy? You look like something's bugging you."
"Ah, yeah, well, it's this," he says shakily as he hands his friend a diary, which was opened to the latest page. The entry reads
"I'm going to marry her some day."
"Oh, I get it, you're not sure if you're ready to go forwards, and are having doubts about your relationship."
"No, no, that's not the problem."
"Well, if that's not it, then what is the problem?"
"The problem is," the man begins as he looks directly at his friend, "that this is my wife's diary."
A priest and a bus driver stand outside the gates of heaven.
God lets the bus driver in, but denies entry for the priest. The priest exclaims:
-Why was that man let in? He gambles, drinks, sheats on his wife and is a bad father figure to his kids.
I on the other hand have served you my entire life.
God replies:
-That might be, but when you preach, everybody falls asleep in the church. When he drives the bus, all the passengers pray.
Entry level position available!
3 years forklift experience required
5 years general labour required
Class 5 drivers license required
2 years kitchen experience required
4 years retail services required
2 years hospitality services required
4 years janitorial services required
3 years business degree preferred
5 years relevant experience required
$11 an hour to start(with 20¢ raise for every year of employment)
.
.
.
.
That's it. The joke is the current hiring system of the world.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Top 15 jokes I am sick of
15. These
14. s**...
13. Lists
12. Where
11. Every
10. Entry
9. Is
8. A
7. Word
6. Except
5. For
4. The
3. First
2. One
1. Papa stealing my nose
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They said 9/11 was an inside job, but that would never happen again in this day and age.
They would probably want a minimum of 10 years of experience in s**... b**... for an entry level position.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is an accountant's f**...?
Double Entry
Civilian: Detective! There's been a robbery at my apartment!
Detective: What did they take?
Civilian: The TV, the music system, all the cash from my locker, the mini fridge, my most expensive bottle of champagne!
Detective: What was the point of entry?
Civilian: I guess they wanted to get rich
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Canadian wildfire from BC turned back at USA border by customs and boarder patrol.
Upon admitting to smoking "fields of m**..." on its way to the border, the fire was denied entry, and banned for life from entering the US.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Another Kavanaugh yearbook entry has surfaced that the good judge promises refers to the non-alcoholic juice they served democrats at Georgetown Prep parties.
d**...
The entry requirements of the Polish Club are strict...
You have to have an untarnished reputation.
I just saw a No Entry sign.
I think the common term is a "tunic".
I dressed up my dog as a mailman for Halloween and He bit himself :D
Very late entry for Halloween hahaha.
Vladimir Putin goes to the Ukraine
And the customs officer in the entry interview, asks him "occupation?"
"Well, if you insist " he replied.
My friend entered a sausage making competition
His entry was the wurst
Every time I start a journal entry I make sure the first two words are surrounded by bright yellow
It's the highlight of my day
It's so rewarding...
...to tell children at the station that the entry to Hogwart's Rail is just a matter of speed...
Looking for a relationship is like finding a new job...
People are way more interested when you already have one already and want 5+ years experience with a laundry list of impossible qualifications for an entry level position.
No tie, no entry
Guy decides to go to a swanky new nightclub. He gets to the door and the bouncer stops him. "You have to have a tie to get in".
Guy goes back to his car to see if he has a tie laying around. No dice. So he takes his jumper cables and ties them around his neck.
Goes back to the door, bouncer looks him over, says "ok, you can go in, just don't start anything ".
"No forced entry,"
the detective mused. "That means it could only be .... the piano player!"
Everyone gasped and turned towards the mild-mannered entertainer.
"He's the only one who has all the keys!"
The first mate on a ship rarely drinks
The first mate on a ship rarely drinks, but the crew threw him a party on his birthday and went out of their way to get him drunk. The next morning he woke up with a hangover, and went to the bridge. He opened the ship's log and found that the captain had written, "The first mate got drunk last night". He complained to the captain saying that it was very rare. The captain defended his entry saying that it was the truth, wasn't it? The next day the captain opened the ship's log, and the first mate had written, "The captain was able to stay sober last night."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A wife goes on a retreat for work for a few days. When she returns and enters the house, she puts her things away and then goes to do some much needed laundry.
Upon her entry to the room, however, she finds a pair of p**... on the floor that do not belong to her!
Furious, she questions her husband.
The husband says, "I have no idea where they came from I don't do the laundry, the maid does!"
The wife calms down and says, "Oh! So maybe these belong to the maid, could be she was doing her laundry here."
"Nah," said the husband musingly, "she doesn't even wear p**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Locked keys in car…
On finishing up their round of golf O'Reily and O'Connor returned back to their car only to discover the doors were locked and the keys were in the ignition.
After quite a few minutes of messing with the door handles and thinking up the best way to gain entry to the vehicle, it all of a sudden began to cloud over.
p**... says O'Connor' look at those black clouds coming in over there. You'd better put the roof up or the seats are going to get soaked .
