entertain Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious entertain puns

The Entertainment

A charitable man decided to visit a sick ward at a hospital to cheer up the patients. He took along a keyboard and played humorous songs and told jokes at many a bedside. After finishing his final performance for an old man he said, "I hope you get better." The old man smiled vaguely at the performer and replied, "I hope you do too."

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Happy Birthday Henry

Old widower Henry is celebrating his 80th birthday in the retirement home, and his friends decide to hire a hooker to entertain him. So early that evening, a beautiful blond shows up at his door, and says "HI, I'm Susie, and I'm here to give you super sex."

Henry looks her over, thinks for a minute, and says "Eh, I'll take the soup."

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Heaven and Hell

Heaven is when...

The English greet you at the door

The French cook the meal

The Italians entertain you

And the Germans plan everything

Hell is when...

The French greet you at the door

The English cook the meal

Tye Germans entertain you

And the Italians plan everything

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story of Robert who live with 2 friends in floor no 600

Bob, Rob, and Robert live on the six hundredth floor of an apartment building. One day, the elevators are broken, so they have to take the stairs. To entertain themselves, they decide that for the first 200 floors, Bob will tell happy stories, for the middle 200 floors, Rob will tell funny stories, and for the last 200 floors, Robert will tell sad stories. On the 401st floor, Robert says, "Here's my sad story: I left our apartment's keys in the car."

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American Businessman's First Visit to Japan

A successful American businessman heads to Japan to meet with a big supplier. Naturally, the Japanese are going to set him up with a good time and loads of entertainment. The first night, they go to Karaoke and a gorgeous young Karaoke hostess is sent back to the man's hotel room to entertain him further.

Despite her willingness, she still wants everything done with the lights off. As he is going at it, she is crying out "Oshimigaso, Oshimigaso", over and over.

When it is all said and done, he asks her, "What does Oshimigaso mean?"

"Oh," she says blushing, "it means 'fantastic' or 'incredible'."

The next morning, the businessman joins his Japanese hosts for a round of golf. Naturally.

On the fifth hole, the CEO of the Japanese company hits a hole-in-one.

Aiming to impress, the American cries out, "Oshimigaso, OSHIMIGASO!!".

The Japanese CEO replies, "What do you mean, 'wrong hole'?"

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Entertainment night and my grandmas nursing home.

A couple days ago at my grandmas nursing home they had entertainment night and decided to bring out a hypnotist. He takes out is gold watch and starts to sway in back and forth "watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch." Sure enough all the seniors snap into that trans like state. All of a sudden the watch slips out of the hypnotists hand, "SHIT" he yelled out after watching the watch shatter into a million pieces on the floor....

Took them a week to clean on the nursing home.

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Happy Stories Vs Sad Stories

Bob, Rob, and Robert live on the six hundredth floor of an apartment building. One day, the elevators are broken, so they have to take the stairs. To entertain themselves, they decide that for the first 200 floors, Bob will tell happy stories, for the middle 200 floors, Rob will tell funny stories, and for the last 200 floors, Robert will tell sad stories. On the 401st floor, Robert says, "Here's my sad story: I left our apartment's keys in the car."

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An illusionist was employed to entertain the guests of a cruise ship.

He had a handful of good tricks he performed quite well and because there was a new audience every other week or so, he didn't have to worry about coming up with new ones. The trouble came when the Captain's talking parrot, after watching the same show time and time again, started to figure the tricks out and then proceed to ruin the shows by shouting out loud things like: - There's a mirror on the side of that box! He's hiding the card up his sleeve! and so on. The illusionist was outraged but could not do anything to the Capitan's beloved pet.One unfortunate night the ship sunk. All that was left was a lifeboat with the parrot on one end, and the illusionist, on the other end, giving the bird occasional spiteful looks. After two days of drifting, during which the parrot wouldn't take his suspecting look off the angry but exhausted man, the bird finally exclaimed: OK, OK, I GIVE UP !!! WHERE IS THE SHIP ???!!!

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The Hypnotist at the senior's center

One day the local senior's center brought in a hypnotist to entertain the elderly. He pulled out an old family heirloom pocket watch and waved it back and forth, slowly, repeating 'watch the watch' in a calm, soothing voice.
Back and forth it went, 'watch the watch, watch the watch' until the whole room was entranced.
Suddenly, the watch's chain slipped out of the hypnotist's hand and the watch fell to the ground and smashed into a thousand pieces.

"Shit!" Said the hypnotist.

It took 3 days to clean up the senior's center.

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I remember when a YouTuber's main aim was to entertain

Now they're all diss-track-ted

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I have cancer. I can't sleep. Entertain me - tell me a joke about terminal illness or insomnia.

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Why is digging a hole not a good way to entertain yourself?

Because it's boring.

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If a lady doth entertain many a suitor in a fortnight, she is of questionable moral character...

But should a gentleman follow suit, a true and confirmed bachelor is *that* dear fellow! Huzzah!

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What do priests and the Pied Piper have in common?

They both entertain children with their fiddle.

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A lot of parents don't know that there is another way to entertain children rather than by giving them an iPad.

By giving them an Android tablet!

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The oldest joke in the world: "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?"

You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish.

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I invented a fictional TV show half to entertain myself, and half because I think I might be insane.

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Mr. & Mrs. Woodcock entertain the Lickdykes for a lovely luncheon on the veranda.

That's some high-class British porno there.

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Why couldn't the comedian entertain at the morgue?

He had a dead crowd

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A Physics Joke

Atoms are very hard to entertain. Only if you approach them with exactly the right energy they get excited.

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How do you entertain a stupid person?

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Five more entertainment assistants scream sexual harassment after beiing fingered by their boss...

....Jeff Dunham

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Why should we rename the alphabet to the cyclops?

Because it only has one I.


(I made it up to entertain my four year old, but I'm still kinda of it.)

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Use "entertain" in a sentence.

My favorite numbers are eleven, twelve, entertain.

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How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?

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How do you entertain a pussy?

I don't know the answer but if you work up a sweat it's bound to come.

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Give a man a beer...

Give a man a beer, he'll entertain the room. Hold a man's beer, he'll entertain the world.

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Bigot, n.

One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

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What are the most funny Entertain jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Entertain? Well, here are the best Entertain dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Entertain pick up lines to share with friends.

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