enters Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious enters puns

Pun enters a room, kills 10 people

Pun in, 10 dead

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A wife comes home late one night

She quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?"

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One day, Usain Bolt goes into a country club.

When he enters, the woman at the front desk stops him, and says, "Sorry, we don't allow blacks in here. But there's another club 10 minutes down the road that does."

Visibly furious, Bolt exclaims, "Do you know who I am? I'm Usain Bolt!"

"Oh! I'm sorry", says the woman. "Then it's only 5 minutes down the road."

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A woman is in the hospital in a coma...

and the husband is in the waiting room. The doctor comes out and tells the husband every time he gets near her crotch, her heart rate increases, and tells the husband he believes oral sex will bring her out of the coma.

The husband enters the room. Shortly after, the doctor hears a flatline and rushes into the room, asking what happened. The husband replies, "I dont know, Doc. I think she choked."

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A guy with a gun enters a bar..

'Who the fuck had sex with my wife?'


A voice was heard in the background 'You don`t have enough bullets mate!'

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A bearded guy

A bearded, middle-eastern guy boards a plane. As soon as he enters he shouts "hijack!". All the passengers are scared to death. Some start crying. Then a white guy from the back stands up and says "oh hi Ahmed, didn't expect to see you here.."

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A wife comes home late one night and quietly open the door to her bedroom

From under the blanket she sees 4 legs instead of 2. She gets pissed, and grabs a baseball bat, and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she is done, she goes to to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.

"hi darling" he says,

"your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say Hi to them?"

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A woman gets up in the morning

wakes up her husband and says:
- Honey, I had a wonderful dream. I dreamed you gave me a diamond necklace for my birthday. What does it mean?
The husband answers:
- You'll know it on your birthday.
The wife's birthday arrives and the husband enters the house with a package in his hand. The woman, excited, takes it from her hands, tears the paper nervously, quickly opens the box and finds a book titled: "The meaning of dreams."

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Dressed as a Premature Ejaculation

A man enters a costume party wearing only blue jeans; no shirt or shoes. The host asks him, "What are you supposed to be?"

The man says, "I'm a premature ejaculation."

"How in God's name are you dressed as that?!"

"Because I just came in my pants."

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A man enters a pun contest in a local paper...

He loses. So the next year, he enters 2 puns, doubling his chances. He still loses. So the third year, determined to win, he enters 10 puns. He waits, hoping at least one of his puns will win, but no pun in 10 did.

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A man with a dog walks into a bar.

The dog shits on the floor.

The man didn't realise, so he ordered a drink and went to sit down with his dog.

A second man enters the bar and slips over on the dog shit. He gets up in shock, staggers over to the bar and orders a drink.

A third man enters the bar and also slips on the dog shit.

The second man turns to him, laughs and says Haha I just did that!

Third man smacks him in the face and says YOU DIRTY FUCKER!

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A Higgs boson enters a church

And the priest says, "I'm sorry, we don't allow Higgs bosons in churches"

The Higgs replies, "but without me, you can't have mass"

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An Old Man is thrown out of a bar

A young man who was walking down the street says "Hey Old-Timer, what happened in there". The old man looks at him and says "Well son, I am Jesus Christ". "Jesus Christ?", the young man replied skeptically. "Yes my son, follow me", the old man said as he walked into the bar.

As he enters, the bartender turns around and says "Jesus Christ! not you again!"

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A man enters his house

and is absolutely delighted when he discovers that someone has stolen all the lamps

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Quick thinking

A man and a woman are fooling around, when suddenly they hear the front door slam, "Its my husband, hide in the ensuite!" the man runs in just as the husband enters, "Love, why are you naked?" she replys "For you dear", happy the man walks into the bathroom to see a naked man befor him, "Who the fuck are you!" "Th-The moth exterminator" the naked man replys, "Why are you NAKED" the angry husband asks, The naked man looks down, Jumps back in shock and shouts "THE BASTARDS".

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Drunk in confession booth.

A drunk staggers into a church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to just sit there. Finally,the priest pounds three times on the wall.

The drunk mumbles, "Ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either!"

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A guy enters a bar...

A guy enters a bar and orders a whole tequila bottle. The barman asks him what's up and the guy says: "I've just found out one of my sons is gay".
Next day, the same guy orders two tequila bottles. "Today, the other son told me he's also gay..." explains him to the barman.
The third day - now the guy asks for 3 tequila bottles.
"So, I guess there is no one left in your family who likes pussy..." - says the barman.
"Oh yes, there is", replies the guy. "My wife."

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Frankenstein enters a bodybuilding competition

And was promptly left in embarrassment when he realized that he'd severely misunderstood the objective.

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Frankenstein enters a bodybuilding competition

and finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective...

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A man with a gun enters a bar...

..."Who had sex with my wife?" he snarled.

A muffled voice heard in the background said, "You don't have enough bullets for that mate."

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A guy walks into a bar with a gun

A guy enters a bar with a gun and sais "Who's the one that had sex with my wife?!"

A voice was heard in the backround, "You don't have enough bullets on you mate!".

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A terribly ugly woman enters a store.

On each hand, she has a child. The clerk asks the woman: "Are those twins?" "No," the woman says, "TheyΒ΄re three years apart. Why? Do you think they look alike?" The clerk says: "No, I just canΒ΄t believe you got laid twice."

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A knight comes to the royal castle with a bag and asks for king's attention

He enters, and says "Your Majesty, I kept my word. Here's the head of the dragon!" and takes the head of the dragon out of the bag.

A royal advisor brings a bag to the king. The king replies "Well, then, I kept my word too. Here's the hand of the princess!"

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A Muslim enters a building

Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.

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A man enters an elevator, and the operator asks him what floor he wants.

The man says "Eighteenth floor." After arriving, the doors open and the operator says "We are here, my son."
The man says "Thanks, but why did you call me your son?"
The operator replies "Because I have brought you up."

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The Blind Man

A nun is taking a bath when someone knocks at the door.

She asks who it is, and the person says, "The blind man."

So she lets him come into the bathroom.

The man enters the room and says, "Nice tits. Where do you want me to hang the blind?"

.

.



(from "The Vicar Of Dibley")

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Frankenstein enters a bodybuilding competition.

However, upon arrival he realised he seriously misunderstood the objective.

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A priest, a theif, and a child molester enters a bar.

He buys a drink.

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Four older men are bragging about their sons

The first says, "My son is a bishop, and when he enters the room people say, Your Excellency".

The second says, "My son is an archbishop, and when he enters the room people say, Your Grace".

The third says, "My son is a cardinal, and when he enters the room people say, Your Eminence".

"My son is 7 feet tall, and 500 pounds," says the fourth man.

"And when he enter the room, people say, 'My God!'"


...told by my parish priest.

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Frankenstein enters a bodybuilding contest

When he gets there, he realizes he seriously misunderstood the nature of the contest

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A drunk enters...

...a confessional booth. The priest is waiting for the sinner to speak up, but the drunk doesn't say a word. After a while the priest coughs... nothing... he coughs again... nothing. The priest was patient until now, but enough is enough: he starts banging on the wooden grid. The drunk finally speaks up:

"You're knocking to no avail, buddy... there ain't any toilet paper here either..."

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Enraged man enters a crowded bar with a shotgun.

WHO FUCKED MY WIFE? He yells.
Somebody from the crowd yells back: YOU DIDN'T BRING ENOUGH BULLETS!

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A black man enters a bar...

with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender, all surprised and shocked, said;
- That's cool! Where did you get that?

- In Africa, replied the parrot.

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*Pollen accidentally enters body*

Immune system: What the hell is that?

Pollen: Oh hey. Sorry. We got a bit lost. The wind kinda bl-

Immune system: OH GOD WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!

Pollen: What?! No! We just got lo-

Immune system: OPEN THE FLOODGATES!

Pollen: The what?

Mucus membranes: Sir. All the floodgates?

Immune system: ALL OF THEM!

Pollen: Wait. Wait. You don't... Oh shi-

[Dramatic music]

Me: *sneezes*

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A nude lady enters the costume party behind the turtle

She has nothing but a monkey covering her pubic area.

The host takes one puzzled look.

"Alright, I give up. Judging by what I asked the turtle, I may regret asking this, but what are you supposed to be?"

"I'm an Italian boy!"

"What's with the monkey?"

"That'sa not a monkey! That's a macaque!"

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What are the most funny Enters jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Enters? Well, here are the best Enters dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Enters pick up lines to share with friends.

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