Entered Jokes
108 entered jokes and hilarious entered puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about entered that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Entered Short Jokes
Short entered jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The entered humour may include short entry jokes also.
- What did the Catholic priest say to the other Catholic priest as they entered the orphanage? "Let us prey."
- I entered my chihuahua in an 'ugliest dog' contest and I won first place! My dog came in third.
- I went to an Art Gallery, it was $60 to enter and $80 to look at each picture. It was called Electronic Arts.
- Enter password: 'snowflake' Confirm password: 'snowflake'
Error, your passwords are not alike - Bill Cosby enters in a bar ... ... i don't know what happens next because I suddenly woke up in a motel's room.
- A man is told the local bank offers mortgages with no interest The man enters the bank.
Man: I'm here to find out about the mortgage
Employee: I don't really care. - I entered a my pet snail into a race and removed its shell thinking it would make it faster... Unfortunately, it only made it more sluggish.
- Why shouldn't you enter into a contract with Wolverine? Because of his retractable clause.
- I'm going to leave this world just like I entered it.. With me crying and the people around me celebrating.
- A neutron enters a bar Neutron: "How much for a beer"
Bartender: "Oh it's free. No charge for you."
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Entered One Liners
Which entered one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with entered? I can suggest the ones about entering and enters.
- Pun enters a room, kills 10 people Pun in, 10 dead
- Why didn't 4 enter the haunted house? Because it was 2 squared
- I entered the world kleptomaniac championship tournament I took gold, silver and bronze.
- Happy Halloween... Why did the Ghost enter the bar... For the BOOOOS
- A Robber entered my home in hopes of finding money..... I joined the search with him.
- My girlfriend was telling me about an innuendo contest. So I entered her.
- I recently saw an advertisement for a double entendre contest So I entered my friend
- Yo mama so ugly She entered a Miss America pageant and nearly lost her citizenship.
- I tried to enter an ugly competition.. and was told sorry no professionals!
- A Muslim enters a building Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.
- I entered in a room full of married people There wasn't a single person there.
- A politician, a liar and a crooked man enter in a bar. He sits down and drinks coffee.
- What's that one room zombies can never enter? the LIVING room
- What room can't a skeleton enter? The living room.
- [OC] Why did Pavlov ring a bell every time a breeze entered his room? Air Conditioning
![Entered joke, [OC] Why did Pavlov ring a bell every time a breeze entered his room?](/images/jokes/entered-jokes-pun-enters-a-room-kills-10-peoplen-n-pun-in-10-dea.jpg "Entered joke, [OC] Why did Pavlov ring a bell every time a breeze entered his room?")
Comedy Entered Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about entered you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ended jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make entered pranks.
I entered a blindfolded m**... competition....
I still don't know where I came
Joke about how dangerous China is
An American tourist came to China and fell into a construction ditch, he came out, injured, and angrily told the tour guide, "In America, in a dangerous area, we always put up red flags to warn people! Why wasn't there one here?"
The Chinese tour guide very calmly replied, "Didn't you already see it when you entered the country?"
Entered a blindfolded m**... contest the other day...
No idea where I came
Money was a little tight, so I entered a pun writing contest...
I read the rules carefully, and it turns out that there was no limit on the amount of times you could enter, so I submitted ten separate entries.
I thought my chances were good, but I just looked at the contest winners to see if any of my entries won, and unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old
lady, entered the doctor´s office.
"We have come for an examination," said the young girl.
"Alright," said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off."
"No, not me," said the girl. "it´s my old aunt here."
"Very well,"said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue."
Overcrowded church
The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the assistant pastor.
After a few moments, there were only three people left sitting in the church. The preacher was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, to the preacher, "All right, pastor, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the service."
I want to leave this world the way I entered it...
By accident!
I've been working on my favorite puns...
I took ten of the best puns I knew and entered them into a local radio contest, hoping that one would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger...
One of the wise men was exceptionally tall and bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable. "Jesus Christ" he exclaimed.
Joseph said: "Write that down, Mary. It's better than Wayne."
Once a DOCTOR and an ENGINEER entered a chocolate store
Once a DOCTOR and an ENGINEER entered a chocolate store...
As they were busy looking around,
doctor stole 3 chocolate bars...
As they left the store, doctor said to Engineer :
"Man! I'm the best thief ever,
I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me. You can't beat that"
Engineer replied: "You wanna see something better? Let's go back to the shop and I'll show you real stealing"
So they went to the counter and Engineer said to the Shop boy:
"Do you wanna see magic..?"
The Shop boy replied: "Yes..!!!"
Engineer said: "Give me one chocolate bar!"
The shop boy gave him one, and he ate it...
He asked for the second, and he ate that as well..
He asked for the third, and finished that one too...
The shop boy asked: "But where's the magic..?"
Engineer replied: "Check in my friend's pocket, and you'll find them..!!!"
Did you hear Victoria entered a boxing tournament where the grand prize was a s**... change?
I heard she came out the Victor
I entered a laziness competition and placed first.
I got atrophy.
I entered 10 puns into a contest last week. Do you know how many won?
No pun in ten did.
A burglar entered my house
In the middle of the night so I asked him what he was doing. He said he was looking for money so I got up and searched with him :(
I saw a weird competition yesterday - The first person to successfully have i**... with them self wins.
So I entered myself.
Boy and school teacher
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, Why are you arguing?
One boy answers, We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.
You should be ashamed of yourselves, said the teacher, When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was.
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
My local newspaper ran a pun writing contest
I entered my ten best puns hoping one would win, sadly no pun in ten did
Only one man has ever entered parliament with honest intentions...
... Guy Fawkes
My city is holding their annual i**... competition...
I've entered my sister...
I once entered ten puns in a comedy competition hoping one would win.
But, no pun in ten did.
A man went to see a shrink
He entered the room and remained standing by the door.
"I'm here because my wife treats me like a dog" the man said.
"Ok" the shrink replied, "Come and sit on this sofa and we can talk some more about this problem".
"No, i can't" said the man... "I'm not allowed on the sofa"
I recently entered a blindfolded m**... competition...
I haven't seen the results yet so I've no idea where I came...
I know a hypnotist who could control the whole audience.
He'd enter the room, say 'sleep' and everyone would fall asleep.
He'd say ''laugh'', the audience would burst out laughing.
One day, he entered the room where he would make his show as usual, but tripped in the stairs; and yelled '**...''!
The room took three hours to clean.
I was throwing darts at wife's photo on dart board
and not even a single one hitting the target.
Wife entered, saw and asked, Honey! What are you doing?
Husband: Missing you.
And that's when the fight started…
A man was invited to a wedding
When he reached the hotel, he found two doors with two signs written
1. Bride Relatives
2. Groom Relatives
He entered the groom's door and and found another two doors
1. Ladies
2. Men
He entered the Men's door and found two more doors
1. People with gifts
2. People without gifts
He entered the second door (people without gifts) and found himself outside of the hotel premises
My grandmother, 86 years old, just entered medical school.
She's a cadaver, and she is living death to the fullest.
Four nuns about to take their vows..
Four novice nuns were about to take their vows.
Dressed in their white gowns, they entered the chapel for their symbolic marriage to Jesus, making them "Brides of Christ."
Just as the ceremony was about to begin, four Hasidic Jews came in and sat in the front row.
The Mother Superior said, "I am so honored you want to share this experience with us. May I ask why you came?"
"We're from the groom's family."
A devout Muslim entered a cab in London
He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio, because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music, because in the time of the prophet there was no music especially western music, which is the music of the infidel.
The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab, and opened the door. The Arab asked him, "What are you doing?" The cabbie answered,
"In the time of the prophet, there were no taxis, so get off and wait for a camel!"
Pun competition
One day, a man was sitting at home with a beer in hand when he read about a pun competition being held downtown. He got up early the next morning and came up with the best puns he had ever seen, and entered his 10 best puns hoping he would win, but unfortunately no pun in 10 did.
A man entered a pun contest in the newspaper
He entered ten of his best puns hoping that at least one of them would win. Unfortunately no pun in ten did.
There was a contortionist competition being held
So I entered myself, and won
Three drunk guys enter a Taxi
3 drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk, so he started the engine and turned it off again. Then said, "we have reached your destination". The 1st guy gave him the money and the 2nd guy said "Thank you". The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was very shocked thinking the 3rd drunkard knew what he did. But then he asked "what was that for?" The 3rd guy replied, " Control yourspeed next time, you nearly killed us!
A thief entered a theatre...
He stole the spotlight
I entered a blindfolded m**... tournament.
No idea where I came.
Did you hear about the fly that entered a cow's ear and ended up in milk pail the next morning?
It went into one ear and out the udder.
Restaurant signboard
A signboard outside a restaurant read "eat as much as you can, your grand children will pay the bill"... A man entered the restaurant and ate as much as he could, got a toothpick and was relaxing when the waiter gave him the bill. He laughed and pointed to the signboard, don't you see, "my grandchildren will pay" The waiter replied, "This is not your bill, it's your grandfather's bill".
My son entered the bathroom during my morning shower time.
Soon, we had that awkward "Why is *yours* bigger than *mine*?"-conversation...
He said: "Dad! I don't know... I'm only ten!"
I saw an ad for an innuendo competition in my town...
So I entered my sister.
I had a prostate exam the other day...
When I entered the examination room and asked the doctor where I should put my trousers, I have to say, "over there with mine" was not the answer I was expecting.
I entered a contest where the grand prize was a shopping center, but I lost
Can't win the mall
Two monkeys entered a bath.
Monkey 1: Oooh oooh oooh aaah aaah aaah
Monkey 2: Calm down, it isn't that hot
How was your job interview yesterday?
Well, I entered the office, found a man sitting on a large black leather chair with feet resting foron the table....
He pointed towards his laptop, asked me to take it and go outside, then come back and try to sell him the laptop...
He thought himself as actor Leonardo Di Caprio of "The wolf of wall street" movie...
So I took the laptop and left...
Left... ?? Then what ??
Nothing...
30 minutes later he called me up, begging me to return his laptop to him coz all his work and important documents were in it.....
So I asked him:
Will you buy it ??
This morning I entered a store...
I noticed the clerk had a missing hand and a watch on it, that kept falling.
\-Why don't you wear it on the other hand?
\-And how am I supposed to put it on, smartass?
I've decided to mind my own business from now on.
I walked into a bar full of ugly women last night and swore I entered the Matrix.
Because all I was seeing were 1s and 0s
"Herr General, the Italians have entered the war"
said the Wehrmacht commander's subordinate.
"Really?" his boss sighed. "Send half a division to stop them."
"Nein, herr General." replied his subordinate; "they are entering on our side."
Upon hearing it, the General collapses onto the table, crying; "Send two armies to help them!"
Last year I entered a marathon.
The race started and immediately I was the last of the runners. It was embarrassing.
The guy who was in front of me, second to last, was making fun of me. He said, "Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?"
I replied, "You really want to know?"
Then I dropped out of the race.
A jewel thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He t**... the woman and at knife-point asked the man to hand over the jewelry and money. The man started sobbing and said, You can take anything you want. You can even p**... whip me, but please untie the rope and free her.
Thief: You must really love your wife!
Man: No, but she will be home shortly .
A thief entered a house one mid-afternoon to find...
a couple in the middle of l**.... He t**... the woman and at gun-point asked the man to handover all their money and jewellery. The man started sobbing and said, "Brother, take anything you want. But please, untie the rope and let her go." The thief replied, "You must really love your wife, having no regard for your own safety." The man said, "No, she's my neighbour's wife. Mine will be back shortly!"
What do Bruce Lee and the Donkey from Shrek have in common?
They have both entered the dragon.
One Day a Cowboy Rode into Town
He t**... his horse and entered a saloon
When he exited the saloon, he found his horse missing
The cowboy shouted, "I'm going to go inside for another drink, when I'm done, my horse better be returned. If not, I'll do what I did back in Texas."
The cowboy went back inside the bar, got a drink, and returned to find his horse.
As he saddled up, a man approached him and asked,
"Out of curiosity, what did you do back in Texas?"
The cowboy responded,
"I had to walk home."
P.S. Sorry
I heard about a double entendre contest on the radio
So I entered my sister
2020 is a weird year
5 years ago i entered a bank in a mask and i got forced to quarantine for years, today i got praised for it.. weird times to be alive
Really drunk people?
3 men entered a taxi. The taxi driver could tell that they were drunk so he started the engine and turned it off. He then proceeded to tell them that they had reached their destination. The first guy gave him the money and the second guy thanked the taxi driver. The third guy suddenly slapped the driver. The driver was shocked; he was wondering if the third guy could see through his dishonesty. He then asked What was that for? The third guy, with a furious face yelled Control your speed next time you almost killed us!
I was having s**... with my girlfriend, Diana, when my roommate, Jones, entered the room
Im indiana Jones, Get out
A man was invited to a wedding...
A man was invited to a wedding. When he reached the hotel, he found two doors written on them:
1. Bride's relatives
2. Groom's relatives
He entered the groom's door and found two doors again:
1. Ladies
2. Men
He entered the men's door and found two doors again:
1. People with gifts
2. People without gifts
He entered the second door (people without gifts) and
He found himself outside the hotel.
Did you hear about the two friends who pooled their money to buy a brand new saxophone?
They recently entered into a same-sax relationship.
Drunk taxi.
3 drunk guys entered a taxi. The
taxi driver knew that they were
drunk so he started the engine
& turned it off again. Then
said,"We have reached your
destination". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said
"Thank you". The 3rd guy
slapped the driver. The driver
was shocked thinking the 3rd
drunk knew what he did. But
then he asked "What was that for?". The 3rd guy replied,
"Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us
The Biggest Lie...
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
**The teacher says**, "Why are you arguing?"
**One boy answers**, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," **said the teacher,** "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
**The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher**.
Earlier I was beaten up by a woman.
I was on an elevator and she entered. She has big b**... and I was staring at them when she said "Can you please press one".
So I did.
As the burglar entered our darkened room, I put the red dot right between his eyes and then…
…let my cat do the rest.
3 drunk guys entered a taxi.
The driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine, turn it off again and said "We reached your
destination."
The first guy gave him money.
The second guy said "thank you" then gave him money too, while the third guy slapped the taxi driver.
The driver was shocked thinking the third guy knew what he did, the driver asked "What was that for?"
The third guy replied "Control your speed next time, you've nearly killed us."
The judge asked the woman what she stole. She replied, I stole a can of peaches.
The judge then asked, how many peaches were in the can?
Six, replied the woman.
After consideration, the judge decided to sentence her one night of prison for every peach she stole. Six nights total.
At this moment the woman felt helpless, bawling her eyes out, she didn't know what to do.
And before the judge smacked the mallet down to make it final, her husband entered into the courtroom and yelled, your honor, wait!
The judge froze and listened to what the husband wanted to say.
She also stole a can of peas!
Paying forward
A signboard outside a restaurant read
"Eat as much as you can, your grand children will pay the Bill".
A man entered the restaurant and ate as he could, got a toothpick and was relaxing. The waiter gave him the bill. He laughed and pointed to the signboard, don't you see, "only my grandchildren will pay" ! The waiter politely replied, " Sir, This is not your bill, it's your grandfather's Bill"........The man fainted....
Ideas are many to make Money.
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together
After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair.
"I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you."
"That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"
The teacher told the girls in the class to start screaming and running out of class every time John lied
It was the perfect revenge prank
Once John entered, the teacher asked why he was late, he answered They're building a s**... club right across my house
The girls then started screaming and running out of class, John just looked confused and said
chill out h**... they're not hiring yet
An 85 year old man wanted to spice up his marriage
He went to a l**... shop to get a s**... l**... for his 80 year old wife. He got an expensive one and went home.
Later that night he gave it to his wife and told her to put it on. She went to the bathroom to put it on and found out that it was too small for her. She thought He does not have a great eyesight. I will go n**... and he would not even know . So she entered the bedroom n**....
Her husband looked at her, squinting his eyes and muttered, Well, for the price I paid, they should have atleast ironed it .
A happily married couple
There was a married couple sleeping and an intruder entered into their house. The intruder put a knife to the neck of the woman and said, "I like to know the names of my victims before I kill them, what is your name?"My name is Elizabeth, but my friends call me Liz," the woman replied.The intruder said, "You remind me of my mother who was also named Elizabeth, so I can't kill you."The intruder then turned to the husband and asked, "What is your name?""My name's Phillip, but my friends call me Elizabeth."
A man an a boy walk into a barbershop
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair. "I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade" he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes". When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you". "That wasn't my daddy" said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"
I once entered a weather pun competition
I beat the raining champion.
My friend passed away the other day.
He will be missed. He would light up the room whenever he entered. Come to think of it, this should've been when we noticed the radiation poisoning.
A pun entered a room and killed ten people...
Pun in, ten dead.
If the Simpsons entered a witness protection program, what would Homer's alias be?
John D'oh!
Judy entered a church
She was wearing a see through blouse and no bra.
"You can't come into this church dressed like that!" Exclaimed the priest.
"But I have a divine right!" Replied Judy.
"You have a divine left too, but you still can't come in dressed like that!"
