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Ensues Jokes

21 ensues jokes and hilarious ensues puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ensues that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Ensues Short Jokes

Short ensues jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ensues humour may include short takes place jokes also.

  1. Total chaos would ensue. What would happen if the fly on the wall told the elephant in the room about the skeleton in the closet?
  2. What happens when a clown farts? It smells funny.
    --As told to me by an Engineering lead... Much facepalm ensued.
  3. Dad my mouse isn't working I've yet to see a mouse with a job.
    My computer mouse stopped working 15 minutes ago, A dad joke ensued.
  4. What did the poisoned rat say to himself as his blood ceased to clot and internal bleeding ensued? Bromadiolone.
  5. "Hey, why'd Andy put me in this jar?" said Jessie, unaware of the horror that would ensue.
  6. TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! Sounds like a... Devil's t**... and the ensuing paternity court case.

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Ensues One Liners

Which ensues one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ensues? I can suggest the ones about emerges and occurred.

  1. What did the gay guy say while parking? Wow, I'm not straight at all...
  2. Kool-Aid Man runs a 5k with a leak... Punch line ensues.
  3. Friendly A gay guy came up to me once, friendly af ensued.
  4. What do you call a m**... session that ensued while doing maths? Numberwank.

Ensues joke, What do you call a m**... session that ensued while doing maths?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about ensues can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of ensues puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Quirky and Hilarious Ensues Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about ensues you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean arrives jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make ensues prank.

At the 3rd grade violin rehearsal ...

... Donnie Corleone Jr. walks in, opens his violin case and unveils, to the shock of all, a tommy gun. The teachers are livid, panic nearly ensues, but Donnie just starts laughing uncontrollably.
"What's wrong with you? This is serious! Why are you laughing?"
"Because I just imagined dad holding up the bank with my violin."

An elderly man walks into a confessional...

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had s**... with each of them three times."
Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Man: "What sins?"
Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"
Man: "I'm Jewish."
Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"
Man: "I'm 92 years old. I'm telling everybody .

A man goes to a f**... and asks the widow,

"Mind if I say a word?"
"Please do", she says.
Silence ensues...
The man clears his t**... and went on
"Plethora"
Tears welled up in her eyes.
"Thank you, that means a lot"

Try this on someone

say to them "Ive got a great knock knock joke for you but you have to start"
most likely their response will be "Okay, knock knock"
you then say "Who's there?"
They will usually be terribly confused and a hilarious awkward silence ensues

A rabbi, a lawyer, and a priest are on a cruise ship as it starts to sink...

As chaos ensues and people are running around frantically, the three men huddle together and try to make a grave decision.
The rabbi says, "we must save the children!"
The lawyer says, "no, screw the children!"
Then the priest says, "do we really have time to screw the children?"

Two martial artists...

...are arguing over who would win a fight between a skilled swordsman carrying a broadsword and a master wielder of an épée. They agree that the only way to settle the argument is actually to fight one another, each using one of the two weapons. An epic battle ensues and then, the two swordsmen feinted.

A Trooper tries to pull over this guy...

When he just speeds up and a chase ensues, when the trooper finally manages to pull him over, he asks him "didn't you see me trying to pull you over? Why did you take off?" To which the guy responds "sir, a while back my wife ran off with a trooper & I was afraid you're bringing her back"....

I've got a good joke to use on your friends (works better face to face)

You: I've got a knock knock joke, but you have to start.
Friend: Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
*confusion and bewilderment ensues*
It's funny to see how long it takes them to work out what happened.

How to creep out a mortician

How to creep out a mortician.
1. Go in to pre-plan your f**....
2. Tell him, "I want my remains scattered over the sunflower fields of Fayetteville."
3. He says, "We can do that. The cost for cremation is..."
4. Say, "Cremation? Who said anything about cremation?"
5. Mortician creep-out ensues.

Semper Fi, Motherf*****

A Taliban division is patrolling the desert when, over a nearby dune, they hear a voice call out "One Marine is worth 10 Taliban." The Taliban commander sends 10 of his men over the dune, and a gun battle ensues, then silence.
Then the voice laughs and says "One marine is tougher than 100 Taliban." Angered, the commander sends 100 of his troops over the dune. A fierce gun battle breaks out, then silence.
Then the voice once again calls out: "The Taliban are wimps. One Marine can smash 1000 of you cowards!" Enraged, the commander sends 1000 of his best men over the dune. Bullets are flying everywhere, grenades exploding left and right, and then silence again.
Then, through the smoke, one badly wounded Taliban soldier crawls back over the dune. He looks at his commander and says "Don't send any more men, it's a trap. There are actually TWO of them!"

An engineer is walking beside a pond...

..when a frog hops out onto the path and says "Please, sir, I am a beautiful princess. A kiss from you will release me from the evil spell that turned me into a frog!"
The engineer smiles, picks up the frog, and puts it in his pocket.
A commotion ensues in his pocket, and he takes the frog out.
"Please, sir. I am a princess! Kiss me and I will reward you with my hand in marriage!"
"Look," he says. "I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a wife. But a talking frog, that's cool!"

A hunter was shooting birds.

A bird fell in an old man's field. The hunter goes to get the bird but the old man sees him and tells him that since the bird fell on his field, the bird is now his to keep. An argument ensues and the old man says:
"Let us kick each other on the shin and see who can take more, whoever can take more keeps the bird."
The hunter agrees thinking that surely he would be able to take more kicks than the old man.
The old man suggests that he should kick first as he was the older one.
The old man is stronger than he looks and after 5 kicks the hunter gives in and says,
"My turn now"
To which the old man replies,
"I give in, you can take the bird now."

Pirate captain and his clothing

This Pirate Captain is sailing his boat when he sees a merchant ship he wishes to raid. He know a battle will ensue so he tells his first mate, "First mate, fetch me my red shirt." The first mate gives a funny look, fetches the shirt then asks, "Sir, tell me, why a red shirt?" The captain replies, "For morale. When the battle ensues people will be hurt. So, if I am hurt and bleed, my blood will be concealed by the shirt so the crew's morale will not be lowered as their captain dies." The first mate thought it was genious. So the battle happend and no casualties. The Captain raids more ships with his red shirt until one day he comes upon the Spanish Armada. He looks to his first mate and says, "Bring me my brown pants!"

A pirate captain stands on the bow of his ship...

and he sees an enemy ship on the horizon. He calls to his first mate "Bring me my red shirt." A tremendous battle ensues in which the pirate captain is victorious. His curious first mate asks him "Captain, why did you wear your red shirt into battle?" To which the captain responds "Because that way if I were wounded the blood would not be noticeable and the men would fight on." The first mate was impressed, until the next day when the captain spotted ten enemy ships on the horizon and called to his first mate "Bring me my brown pants."

h**... at a bar

A man walks into a bar and believes to see Adolf h**... sitting on a bar stool. The man walks up to the man, and in an unsure tone, asks: Are you Adolf h**.... At which point the following conversation ensues:
h**...: Why yes, I am
Man: I thought you were dead!
h**...: No, my friend. I have been in hiding all these years. I am slowly rebuilding my army. Soon we are going to rise up, kill three million Jews, and one clown.
Man: Why kill a clown?
h**...: See!! No one cares about the Jews.

Pirate Joke

While out at sea, a first mate runs to the captain and saying "Captain! There are ten enemy ships on the horizon!"
The Captain responds "Aye! Bring me my red shirt."
The Captain puts the shirt on and battle ensues. After a few hours, they emerge from the fight victorious. The first mate asks "Why did you need your red shirt?"
The captain replies "Because if i was wounded in battle, the crew wouldn't notice and would continue without me."
A few weeks later, the first mate runs frantically to the captain saying "Captain, there are 100 enemy ships on the horizon! What are we to do?
"Get me my brown pants!"

Ensues joke, Pirate Joke

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these ensues jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.