Enrollment Jokes
40 enrollment jokes and hilarious enrollment puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about enrollment that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Enrollment Short Jokes
Short enrollment jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The enrollment humour may include short jokes also.
- Why did the snowman enroll in a dance class on the winter solstice? It wanted to "break the ice" on the dance floor.
- My 70 year old father recently enrolled in college His first year and he's already a senior.
- When Kermit the Frogs entertainment career came to an end, he enrolled in seminary school where he was ordained Now he's a Pastor of Muppets
- I enrolled to online Private Investigator Course but they are not answering... I'm not sure if they just ignoring me or this is my first case...
- I tried to start a therapy group for people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder They've assured me it's me who needs the group and I'm getting enrolled next week. I'm so grateful for their help
- I enroled in courses of hypnosis The first lessons didn't please me and so I determined to pay direct for a year in advance and not to attend there
- A school for the deaf nearby recently closed because no one was enrolling. They said it was because no one had heard of it.
- More men have been enrolling in domestic violence support groups than ever If you can't beat em, join em
- My wife enrolled in a North Korean cooking school 2 years ago. "She must cook great Asian food by now."
"Actually, they've only just covered the life and teachings of Kim Jong-il."
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Enrollment One Liners
Which enrollment one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with enrollment? I can suggest the ones about and .
- My college has a strict "No Enrollment" policy No acceptions.
- I had ADD as a kid So my parents enrolled me in a concentration camp
- I enrolled into dog university... but i quit because the course was really ruff
- How does Dwayne Johnson sign up for a music contest? Rock enrolls
\[Rock 'n' rolls\] - First thing you do in the school of rock? Rock enroll.
- I recently enrolled in pornstar school. The first day was a lot to take in.
- What education program did Eric Wright enroll in? ECE
Enrollment Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about enrollment you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make enrollment pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is s**...?
A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mom, what's s**...?" His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?"
A mother takes her three son's to enroll in school. The teacher asks.
A mother takes her three son's to enroll in school. The teacher asks.
Teacher: What are your son's names?
Lady: This boy's name is Leroy, this other boy's name is Leroy, and Leroy here is my third son's name.
Teacher: Isn't it confusing having all three boy's named the same?
Lady: Oh no, you see when it's time for lunch I just holler out the door, Leroy! it's time for lunch, and they all come a runnin. When it's time for dinner I just holler out the door, Leroy! it's time for dinner and they all come a runnin.
Teacher: Ok, so what do you do when you want a specific boy?
Lady: Oh, well then I just holler out their last name.
A student calls his college to enrol in a calculus course...
A student calls his college and says "I want to take calculus, but the system won't let me enrol". The woman on the other line looks at his record and says: "it looks like you're already taking a full course load! don't you know what the limit is?", to which he replies:
"That's what I'm trying to find!"
A Jewish Atheist enrolls his son in Catholic school
A Jewish atheist hears that the best school in town happens to be Catholic, so he enrolls his son. Things are going well until one day the boy comes home and says, I just learned all about the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.
The boy's father is barely able to control his rage. He grabs his son by the shoulders and says, Son, this is very important, so listen carefully. There is only ONE God — and we don't believe in Him!
A gynecologist decides it's time to hung up his speculum.
A gynecologist who had lost interest in his medical practice decided to change careers and enrolled in auto mechanic school.
He performed well in the course but was still shocked when he got an off-the-chart 200 on his final exam. He asked the instructor to explain the grade.
"I gave you 50 points for taking the engine apart correctly," the teacher said, "50 points for putting it back together correctly -- and an extra 100 points for doing it all through the muffler."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I recently enrolled my cat for beautiful b**... competition
We won.
But everyone thinks it was a catastrophe!
A new boy has just enrolled at school and the teacher remarked on his unusual name, Aday.
I've never heard that name before, she said
My father thought of it, said the boy.
I was the 10th kid in our family, and when I was born, Dad said: 'For cryin' our loud, let's call it a day!'
Charlie Brown, now a young adult, sits with an academic advisor before enrolling in college....
He tells her he wants to be a counselor, but isn't sure what direction to go.
She looks over his scores as says, "I think you'd make a good grief counselor."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When Johnny went to school, they enrolled him in s**... lessons
But he flunked out, so he tested smart.
Old habits are hard to break.
A woman gynecologist decides she wants to become a mechanic. She enrolls in a technical college and becomes an A student.
Before she can graduate she must pass the final exam, which is dismantling a car engine & rebuilding correctly. When she receives the results of her exam she sees the instructor gave her 150 points. Fearing there must be some error she goes to ask her instructor.
"If 100 is a perfect score, how is it I scored 50 points over?"
The instructor explains, "Well you scored 50 points for taking the engine apart correctly."
"And 50 points for putting it all back together correctly."
"You got the extra 50 points for doing all of it through the muffler!"
A blonde couple was delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end.
The adoption center called and told them that they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.
After they filled out the forms, the registration clerk inquired, What ever possessed you to study Russian?
The couple said proudly, We just adopted a Russian baby, and in a year or so he'll start to talk.
We just want to be able to understand him."
A man was being interviewed at a job interview...
...and the interviewer was thoroughly impressed.
The man was eloquent in speaking and seemed highly fit for the job.
However, one question lingered in the interviewer's mind...
So you seem very skilled and fit for the job. However, I have one question, why were you unemployed for 4 years?
The man replies:
Oh, I was in Yale.
The interviewer, impressed by the man being able to be enrolled in such an exclusive school, hires him on the spot.
The man, overcome with joy, whips out his phone and calls his wife and shouts:
Honey, I did it! I got the yob!
Two new parents
Dustin and Jane (both blonde) were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby had come to an end.
The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.
After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, What ever possessed you to study Russian?
The couple said proudly, We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.
Catholic School
So there's a bad jewish kid and he swears all the time. He gets expelled from school. His behavior combined with the town he lives in being so small where everyone knows everyone's business, causes his family to become pariahs.
Desperate for a solution, the parents ask the local Rabbi for help who suggests sending the boy to a *yeshiva* - a Jewish private school. The parents try this, but sadly, this seemed to make him worse, now he swears in both English and Hebrew.
The next week, Thanksgiving rolls around and the parents have the neighbors over to eat Turkey with them. The neighbor after a while can't help but remark "I know it's not my place, but your son is very unruly."
The parents sigh and say they have no idea what to do with him. The neighbor replies "I know you're Jewish but try Catholic School. Those nuns instill serious discipline in children."
Feeling out of options, the parents do enroll the son in Catholic School, and that same day he comes home from school the model son they always wished he was.
The parents are flabbergasted. They ask "Did the nuns beat you?", and the son replies "No mother, they did not." So the parent's say "Then how did this happen?" and the son replied "Well, when I saw the guy hanging on the wall there, I knew they meant business!"
College money...
There was a kid that went to college, and his Dad sent him enough money for the whole year, well the kid blew through that in the first half of the first semester.
He didn't want to just ask his Dad for more money because he knew he probably wouldn't give it to him.
So he calls his Dad and asks to send their dog, Old Blue with $1000, to the college and he will enroll him in a class that teaches dogs to talk.
The Father thinks that's neat so he sends the dog and the money, and after the end of the first semester, the kid has blown through all that money too.
So he calls his Dad again, and tells him that if he sends $2500 he will enroll Old Blue into a class to teach dogs to read. The Dad thinks this is real cool, so he sends him the money.
At the end of the year the kid knew he couldn't bring Old Blue home with him, because he could not talk nor read.
He called his Dad before summer break, and told him, I had to shoot Old Blue, the Father shocked, You had to shoot Old Blue? Yeah, well he was sitting there reading the Wall Street Journal like he always does, and he looks at me and says, Hey, is your Dad still seeing that red headed broad down the street? The Dad said, You have done the right thing son! You need anymore money?
Credit/Heard this from my Dad who says his preacher told him this one.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Philosophy 112, or the joke that I just told in a dream and have to write down for posterity
Take this guy, Bob. He's coming into his early 40s, and goes into a midlife crisis. He tells his wife he wants to go back to school and study all the stuff he never got to when he was working so hard as a kid. She's fully supportive, feeling there are worse things he could be doing in this phase of his life, and they get him enrolled at a local university.
Bob starts taking random b**... classes. His first semester he takes Archaeology 101, Sociology 102, and his favorite, Philosophy 112: History of early modern philosophy. He starts learning about all the great thinkers who laid the groundwork for all of our thinking today, and he just falls in love with it. Doesn't care he's surrounded by 18 year olds for six hours a week, he just dives right in.
One day, his buddy Jim calls him up to talk. Jim's also going through a midlife crisis. He's doing a much more destructive path, however. He calls Bob up and tells him he knows of an excellent e**... service. He says they should take a "business trip," have a little fun, the wife doesn't need to know.
Bob thinks about it, and says, "No, I've got a huge philosophy paper due in a couple days and I should work on that."
Jim looks at him like he's insane, calls him a p**..., and storms away. But Bob is confident.
Bob knows that sometimes, it's good to put Descartes before the w**....
Dustin and Jane (both blonde) were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby had come to an end.
The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.
After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, “What ever possessed you to study Russian?”
The couple said proudly, “We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he’ll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.”