Enormous Jokes
62 enormous jokes and hilarious enormous puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about enormous that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Enormous Short Jokes
Short enormous jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The enormous humour may include short gigantic jokes also.
- My grandfather used to circumcise elephants for a living. The wages were poor, but the tips were enormous.
- I went to this restaurant on the beach in Florida and ordered something called the Pelican Burger. It was good, but the bill was enormous.
- I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster. I was making synonym toast.
- United Airlines pays "enormous sum to Dr. Dao who they dragged of plane" Largest bill for Chinese take out to date
- I went to an Indian restaurant and ordered a Pelican curry... ...it wasn't a bad meal, but the bill was enormous.
- Score! I just landed my summer job for this year - working at the zoo, circumsizing elephants They said the hourly pay isn't great, but the tips are ENORMOUS!
- I need help translating my 11 month old's joke "Dya nag nag da Mya gad... UH OH!" Followed by enormous laughter. Thanks for any help
- More than 50% of Americans fall asleep on their sides Probably because their main courses are enormous
- My wife and I went to a new restaurant last night, where they serve the flesh of exotic birds and animals. We both decided to try pelican, which was absolutely fantastic, but the bill was enormous.
- Anyone looking for a job should consider becoming an elephant circumsiser... ... the pay isn't too great, but the tips are enormous!
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Enormous One Liners
Which enormous one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with enormous? I can suggest the ones about tremendous and massive.
- Being tall is an enormous responsibility Short people look up to you.
- Tried going to the obesity clinic before work today. But the queue was enormous.
- Jupiter has a total of 64 moons. Their werewolf problem must be enormous.
- The pimple on my forehead is enormous. It practically has its own zit code.
- Last night I dreamt that I was but a single piece in an enormous jigsaw. I was puzzled.
- Just had lunch at the Pelican Cafe... the food was good but the bill was enormous!
- Why was the lions stomach enormous? Because he finally swallowed his pride
- What do you call an enormous Wolverine with an axe? Hugh Jaxe-man
- There was an enormous spider on the toilet seat this morning. I s**... myself.
- I have an enormous s**... drive. 4TB
Great Enormous Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about enormous you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean huge jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make enormous pranks.
Traveling Circus
A circus stopped in a small town. An elephant escaped and found its way into an old woman's garden. Not recognizing the beast, she frantically called the sheriff. "Sherrif, there's an enormous awful beast in my garden, and it's pulling up my petunias with its tail". "Oh?" said the sheriff. "and what is it doing with the petunias?". "Sheriff, if I told you, you'd never believe me!"
A sheep and a hole [PG]
Two campers are out walking around, and come across a huge hole in the ground. The first camper goes up to the hole and says "wow, I wonder how deep this is?" The second camper picks up a rock, chucks it in the hole, puts his ear down and waits to hear it hit the bottom. Nothing. The first camper says "jeez, it must be really deep!" and picks up a larger rock. Using both hands he heaves it into the hole. The campers put their heads down and listen for the big rock to hit. Nothing! The second camper looks puzzled, and then spots a boulder. "Hey come and help me with this" he says, and they both start lugging the enormous rock to the hole. "3-2-1" both campers shove the boulder into the hole and quickly put their heads down to listen to the impact. Not even 3 seconds go by and a sheep runs and JUMPS into the hole. Both campers look at each other bewildered. "Did you see that?? A sheep just ran and jumped into the hole!" A few minutes pass, and a farmer comes up. The farmer asks "Hey, have you guys seen my sheep?" The first camper says, "Yeah, the craziest thing happened! Your sheep ran, and jumped into this hole!" The farmer laughed, and said "That's impossible! My sheep was tied to a rock."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy is sitting at a bar...
and he hears a few women at the far end of the bar. They sound like they are from the UK so he looks over and sees 3 enormous, fat women. he walks over and asks:
"so are you 3 women from Scotland?"
"Wales"
"oh, im sorry. so are you 3 whales from Scotland?"
Scottish man at the ranch
A scottish man is visiting a texas oilman. They spend hours touring the ranch; it's an enormous property. Eventually the oilman brags, "I can jump in my car and drive until sun down. I'd never hit the edge of my claim!". The scotsman replies, "Aye, I had a car like that once too".
The bull
A farmer is driving his tractor through his field when he spots his neighbor's five year old walking an enormous bull with a leash.
"Hey sweety! Where are ya headin' with that big bull?"
"Hiya Mr. Johnson! Imma takin' it to Maynard's t'mount his cows."
"Good, good... but cantya daddy go instead?"
"Naw, Mr. Johnson... the bull has t'go."
My dad used to tell me this one when I was little.
There once was a handsome, sentient snail. One day, he passed by a local convenience store and decided to enter in a lottery. A week later, he discovered he had won!
With his new fortune, he bought a brand new car. As it sat in his garage, he couldn't help thinking it lacked a little pizzaz. He found a bucket of paint and paintbrush and painted an enormous "S" for "snail" on the car.
He decided to go for a drive. As he happily drove down the street, the onlookers said...
"Look at that S car go."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So two whales are swimming along...
... when they spot a whaling ship. The first whale, in shock, says, "Hey! That's that ship that attacked our pod last year. We should sink it. We'll dive deep under the boat and blow bubbles up. The bubbles will capsize the boat and they'll sink!"
The second whale agrees and they begin their attack on the unsuspecting boat. The two whales take enormous breaths and dive deep under the boat. They blow all the air out their blowholes and the bubbles race toward the surface. When the two whales come up they see the boat is capsized and sinking and several sailors are in the water.
"Oh man!" says the first whale. "We got 'em. Look, they're all swimming in the water. Now we can eat them!"
The second whale, taken aback, then says, "Sorry man, I'll help with the b**..., but I won't s**... s**...."
A Beautiful Woman Loves Growing Tomatoes
A beautiful woman loves to garden, but can't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. She asks her neighbor, "What do you do to get your tomatoes red?" He replies, "Twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much. "The woman decides to do the same thing. So twice a day for two weeks she exposes herself to the garden. Her neighbor asks, "How did it go? Did you tomatoes turn red?" "No," she replies, "but my cucumbers are enormous."
What do you call a brewmaster that wears a bright purple robe and carries around an enormous recipe book?
An Ale Chemist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young first officer asks his Captain
A young first officer asks his Captain,
"Sir, why does not my ability evolve. I don't seem to be getting better at flying?"
And the Captain patiently answers: "Son, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seem like flames?"
"Yes, my sir, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones but without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, sir, I have already witnessed it."
"Then the moon .. when it touches the calm water reflecting all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, sir, I have also observed this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all these s**... things instead of focusing on flying the aircraft."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Amish women are in the field picking potatoes...
The first Amish woman (FAW) pulls out an enormous potato from the field and says to the second (SAW), "Ohhh, this reminds me of Jacob's privates!"
SAW - "You mean Jacob's privates are that big?"
FAW - "No, but they're just as dirty!"
Three men from the same country enter a competition to see who has the most children.
As they enter the stadium, the enormous crowd starts cheering in excitement. The first man comes up, and his family of 20 accompanies him on stage. The second man comes up, revealing his enormous family of 60 members. The third man comes up on the stage, but nobody comes up with him. The crowd then starts chanting:
DADDY! DADDY! DADDY...
There are two types of human beings found on Facebook. One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts. And the others are men.
lol....
"San Andreas" starring The Rock is a great movie but it could never be perfect...
Because there is one enormous fault
What is orange, about 70 years old, has caused enormous damage to the environment, and is a great embarrassment to the US?
Agent orange, duh.
an african politician visits an american politician.
Af: That's a big house you've got there, how did you afford it?
Am: See that bridge over there? I kept 10% of the money that went into building it, same goes for most of the roads and bridges that were rebuilt here.
Ten years later, the American goes to visit his old friend.
Am: That's an enormous mansion you've got there, how did you afford it?
Af: See that bridge over there?
Am: No.
Af: That's how.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face. The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened...
"Well, the first body is a Frenchman, 60, who died of heart failure while making love to his mistress, hence the enormous smile." says the coroner.
"Second body's a Scotsman, 25, won a thousand dollars in the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
"Ok, so what about the third body?"
"Ah!" says the coroner. "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the r**... from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is *he* smiling then?"
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A m**... breaks in to a Republican couple's house while they're asleep...
A m**... breaks in to a Republican couple's house while they're asleep.
He turns on the lights and begins tying them each to a chair.
Before he can grab the wife, the husband yells: "Honey, my birthday presents! Use them!"
The woman nods in agreement and rips open her top to reveal a pair of enormous, symmetrical plastic h**....
The husband yells: "No! I meant the golf clubs from last year!"
An old man was telling stories to his grandchildren about his hunting days.
"When I was thirty years old," he said, "I was out hunting in India, when a 13-foot tiger jumped out from behind a tree and roared at me. ROAR! I just soiled myself."
"I don't blame you," said one of the grandchildren. "If such an enormous tiger roared at me like that, I too would have soiled myself."
"Not then," replied the old man. "Just now when I said ROAR!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bra Sazes
Have u ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for? Well its time you became informed!
(A) Almost b**....
(B) Barely there.
(C) Can't Complain!
(D) Dang!
(DD) Double Dang!
(E) Enormous!
(F) Fake.
(G) Get a Reduction.
(H) Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Not so sure my new year is getting off on a good start. Last night I ate like a pig and got incredibly drunk.
First thing I did this morning when I woke up was take an enormous, smelly s**.... Second thing I did was get out of bed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
spider-man: weird your rug looks just like a giant piece of paper
**me [sneaking up behind him with an enormous cup]:** that 𝑖𝑠 weird
Blushing
My gorgeous next door neighbor is a beginner gardener. I asked her how it was going so far.
She said,'I cant get my tomatoes to turn red like yours. Any advice?'
I said,"Every morning expose yourself to the tomatoes and you'll see they'll start blushing red.'
After a week of watching her expose her beautiful body to the tomatoes, I went over and asked her.'Any luck with the tomatoes?'
She said,"Not yet, but the cucumbers are enormous.'
Average joke
3 teachers, Science, Auto shop, and Mathematics, go hunting together over their winter vacation. They come across an enormous 6 point buck. The science teacher who saw it first takes aim. He fires and misses by 3 feet to left. The auto shop teacher shoulders him asside and says, " this is how you do it!". He fires and misses 3 feet to the right. The math teacher jumps up and Screams, "we got him!".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The bull and the lion
So a bull is walking through the jungle one day, bragging about his enormous size and impressive horns. He even boasted that he was afraid of nothing in the jungle. Well, a lion heard this boasting and laughed as he proceeded to kill the bull and eat him. After getting his belly full, he roared with delight that he was the king of the jungle!!!! A nearby hunter heard the roaring and shot the lion.
Moral of the story? Sometimes when you are full of bull it's better to keep your mouth shut
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two guys walking down the road see a pile of dog p**...
One says, "hey that looks like dog p**...". Then he bends over and touches it. He says, "feels like dog p**...". The other bends over and sniffs it. Says, "smells like dog p**...". Then he sticks his finger in it and tastes it. He says "tastes like dog p**...". The other one says, "Well, good thing we didn't step in it!!"
Note: little boys crack right up all the way through with this joke. Something about p**... is enormously funny to boys.
Thank you.
I read the post from u/AndiPandi92 about how she woke her dad up every morning with a joke from this subreddit. It is a beautiful post as are the comments. It inspired me to do the same for my dad. I already see him once a week - he has had seven strokes, can hardly talk but has an enormous brain capacity - very sharp and an easy laugh. I have told him jokes for two days and both times he laughed so tears fell down his cheeks (my mom told me afterwards) and he say thank you afterwards.
So thank you from me and my dad - you are all awesome ❤
A creationist told me that evolution must be wrong because it violates the second law of thermodynamics
His claim was that in order for simple organisms like bacteria to evolve into much more complex life like fish and mice and horses and gorillas and people, an enormous input of energy would be required, therefore it must be impossible.
I stayed up all night trying to think of something that would refute his claim, and then it dawned on me.
Putin goes to fortune teller to find out his future.
She says:
"I see you on the car, arriving to a parade, there's an enormous crowd, they're crying for happiness when they see you, everybody is happy".
"Great! I'll lead the parade, who I will handshake with?"
"Nobody, your coffin will be closed".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Werner Herzog tells a joke
"Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because of the enormity of its stupidity, there is no purpose to any of its actions."
A "large" man is seated at a restaurant and the waiter brings an enormous steak.
A friend of the man walks by and says "Surely you're not going to eat that monstrosity alone!"
The man says, "Of course not! I also ordered mashed potatoes."
An attorney was working late one night in his office when, suddenly, Satan appeared before him.
The Devil made him an offer. I will make it so you win every case that you try for the rest of your life. Your clients will worship you, your colleagues will be in awe, and you will make enormous amounts of money. But, in return, you must give me your soul, your wife's soul, the souls of your children, your parents, grandparents, and those of all the your friends. The lawyer thought about it for a moment, then asked, But what's the catch?
Using the new James Webb telescope, scientists recently discovered an enormous object in deep space that shares nearly identical chemical composition as humor in the human brain.
Ultimately it was determined to be no laughing matter
