Enlightenment Jokes
33 enlightenment jokes and hilarious enlightenment puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about enlightenment that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Read original jokes from the Age of Enlightenment era and compare them to modern day jokes. Discover how jokes have evolved over time, from the ohms of Buddha's philosophy to colonization of the New World. Laugh along with Enlightenment jokes and explore the changes in humor through history.
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Funniest Enlightenment Short Jokes
Short enlightenment jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The enlightenment humour may include short enlightened jokes also.
- How many feminists does it take to screw a lightbulb? One to screw it in and nine to write on their blogs about how enlightening the experiment was.
- How many racists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Racists dont like to be enlightened.
- Hear the one about the Buddhist monk who *almost* achieved total spiritual enlightenment? He only made it to Nearvana.
- How many Buddhists does it take to screw a light bulb? None. They believe that the enlightenment comes from within.
- Life has 3 levels of existence... Pain and pleasure in the physical plane. Enlightenment in the spiritual plane. And no leg room in the air plane.
- While walking the dog tonight I heard new ideas and perspectives coming from the forest... Then I realized it was enlightening bugs.
- I turned my lamp on... My girlfriend is jealous...
My friend told me i should enlighten her, so the truth lights up for her.
My lamp just told me i should leave her in the dark...
Any ideas? - What came after the dark ages, but before the enlightenment? The slightly dim ages.
-Written by my 10 year old brother Acer. - What is the one spiritual condition that can never be obtained by blind people? Enlightenment
- Scientists have invented an alcohol that glows in the dark. In other words, you can now get drunk and enlightened at the same time.
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Enlightenment One Liners
Which enlightenment one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with enlightenment? I can suggest the ones about awakening and french revolution.
- How many Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? None. It's already enlightened.
- How many buddhists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they enlighten themselves.
- What do you call a rat that has reached enlightenment? A Buddha-Pest
- Which email attains enlightenment ? The one which has no attachments !
- Why does the Buddha float in water? Because he's enlightened
- Going to open up a donut shop next to a medical m**... store I'll call it glazed and confused
- What do you call a toy alpaca that has obtained enlightenment? The Dolly Llama
- The church in our neighborhood has no lights. Every Sunday we pray for enlightenment.
- I set my old school books on fire yesterday. Never before had they been so enlightening.
- What do you call a wise plant? Enlighten Mint!
- What do you call an enlightened optometrist? A visionary.
- What happened to the guy who ingested helium? He became enlightened.
- How does Catholic priests and bishops find enlightenment? Through little boys.
- The Enlightenment must have been pretty cool. It was LIT.
- What happens when an illiterate insect becomes enlightened? ABCs
Howlingly Hilarious Enlightenment Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about enlightenment you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean philosophy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make enlightenment pranks.
A man goes to ask the great guru, "Which is better, large b**... or small b**...?"
The great guru asks him "How much money do you have in bills in your wallet?"
The man quickly counts the money. "Thirty dollars."
"And if you had thirty dollars in coins," said the guru, "which would have the greater mass- the coins or the bills?"
"The coins of course."
"But which would have the greater value?"
At this moment, the man was enlightened.
A girl walks up to her mother and asks, "Mommy, why am I named Clover?"
"Your grandma believes that it brings luck to our family."
Then, her other daughter walks up. "Mommy, why am I named Nirvana?"
"Because, your aunt believes that is the place you go when you are enlightened."
Finally, her son walks up to her. "Those names make sense, but why am I named *Cakeday?"*
His mother sighs. "Your father believes it is the best way to earn karma."
A horse walks into a bar; the bartender asks, "Hello, do you want a beer?" The horse responds, "I think not," and promptly disappears.
Now, admittedly, this joke only makes sense if you are familiar with the French Enlightenment philosopher, Rene Descartes, who famously said, "I think, therefore I am." The horse thought not, and therefore wasn't...
But if I had explained that first, I would have been putting Descartes before da horse!
A man approaches an ancient temple seeking enlightenment
He hails the monk guarding the gate, "I have come to seek enlightenment for I know nothing"
The monk perks up, "Greetings, what is your name traveler?"
The man smiles, "I am Steve"
The monk laughs, "Lying so soon?"
An Englishman comes to Harvard.
Unable to find out the way to the library, he approaches an undergrad. The subsequent conversation is as follows-
Englishman: Excuse me. Could you kindly enlighten me where the library is at?
Undergrad: It's Harvard. People don't end sentences with a preposition here.
Englishman: Oh, I see. Could you kindly enlighten me where the library is at, a**...?
The following is a joke from 'Harry Hills Whopping Great Joke Book' and I really don't get it. Could anyone enlighten me?
My wife is a stickler for tidiness. I just bought her a cuckoo clock and she's started putting paper under it.
How many Buddhist monks does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one. But its a long process where the monk keeps telling the bulb that change must first come from within, until the bulb attains enlightenment.
Cakeday Joke, a day late...
A girl walks up to her mother and asks, "Mommy, why am I named Clover?"
"Your grandma believes that it brings luck to our family."
Then, her other daughter walks up. "Mommy, why am I named Nirvana?"
"Because, your aunt believes that is the place you go when you are enlightened."
Finally, her son walks up to her. "Those names make sense, but why am I named *Cakeday?"*
His mother sighs. "Your father believes it is the best way to earn karma."
My daughter walked up to her mother and asked
"Mommy, why am I named Clover?"
"Your grandma believes that it brings luck to our family."
Then, my other daughter walked up and asked, "Mommy, why am I named Nirvana."
"Because your aunt believes that is the place you go when you are enlightened."
Finally, my son walked up to her, "Those names make sense, but why am I named Cakeday?"
His mother sighed, "your father believes it is the best way to earn karma."
A Zen novice called for an electrician.
Upon arrival at the monk's apartment, the electrician asked how he could be of assistance.
"I'm having trouble with this brand-new lamp that I just bought," the novice said. "I've tested the outlet, I've flipped every switch, and I still can't get it to work."
The electrician examined the lamp, then nodded his head. "Well, this lamp has a built-in clapper, see?"
"'Clapper?'" the novice repeated.
The electrician nodded again, then clapped his hands... and the novice was enlightened.
An overweight man goes to the doctor
The doctor says sir we need to talk about your weight. It's been a growing concern and I'm afraid if it gets worse, you'll have some major heart issues. I think it's time we talk about a way for you to lose some weight fast. Would you like to hear about liposuction?
The man goes please, enlighten me
