Enlightenment Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

A horse walks into a bar; the bartender asks, "Hello, do you want a beer?" The horse responds, "I think not," and promptly disappears.

Now, admittedly, this joke only makes sense if you are familiar with the French Enlightenment philosopher, Rene Descartes, who famously said, "I think, therefore I am." The horse thought not, and therefore wasn't...

But if I had explained that first, I would have been putting Descartes before da horse!

Hear the one about the Buddhist monk who *almost* achieved total spiritual enlightenment?

He only made it to Nearvana.

How many Buddhist monks does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one. But its a long process where the monk keeps telling the bulb that change must first come from within, until the bulb attains enlightenment.

A man seeks enlightenment as a Buddhist monk

So he joins a Tibetan monastry and takes a vow of silence whereby he is only permitted to say two words every five years.

After five years he appears before the elders and they ask him what he wishes to say. He says, "Food's cold."

Ten years later he appears before them again. The elders ask him what he wishes to say and he says, "Bed's hard."

After fifteen years he appears before them again. When asked for his two words, he says, "I'm leaving."

"About time," says the head monk, "All you've done since you arrived is complain!"

What do you call a rat that has reached enlightenment?

A Buddha-Pest

How many Buddhists does it take to screw a light bulb?

None. They believe that the enlightenment comes from within.

The church in our neighborhood has no lights.

Every Sunday we pray for enlightenment.

What came after the dark ages, but before the enlightenment?

The slightly dim ages.

-Written by my 10 year old brother Acer.

What is the one spiritual condition that can never be obtained by blind people?


Some ascetics were headed into the forest to meditate

and one shouts "hey budd, you gonna come seek enlightenment with us?"

"Namaste right here."

How does Catholic priests and bishops find enlightenment?

Through little boys.

The Enlightenment must have been pretty cool.

It was LIT.

If you could choose between Enlightenment and winning the lottery, which would you pick?

If you choose the Lottery at least you'll have someone to spend it on..

What are the funniest enlightenment jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Enlightenment? Well, here are the best Enlightenment puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Enlightenment pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes