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Enlightened Jokes

26 enlightened jokes and hilarious enlightened puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about enlightened that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Enlightened Short Jokes

Short enlightened jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The enlightened humour may include short enlightenment jokes also.

  1. How many feminists does it take to screw a lightbulb? One to screw it in and nine to write on their blogs about how enlightening the experiment was.
  2. How many racists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Racists dont like to be enlightened.
  3. Hear the one about the Buddhist monk who *almost* achieved total spiritual enlightenment? He only made it to Nearvana.
  4. How many Buddhists does it take to screw a light bulb? None. They believe that the enlightenment comes from within.
  5. Life has 3 levels of existence... Pain and pleasure in the physical plane. Enlightenment in the spiritual plane. And no leg room in the air plane.
  6. While walking the dog tonight I heard new ideas and perspectives coming from the forest... Then I realized it was enlightening bugs.
  7. I turned my lamp on... My girlfriend is jealous...
    My friend told me i should enlighten her, so the truth lights up for her.
    My lamp just told me i should leave her in the dark...
    Any ideas?
  8. What came after the dark ages, but before the enlightenment? The slightly dim ages.
    -Written by my 10 year old brother Acer.
  9. What is the one spiritual condition that can never be obtained by blind people? Enlightenment
  10. Scientists have invented an alcohol that glows in the dark. In other words, you can now get drunk and enlightened at the same time.

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Enlightened One Liners

Which enlightened one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with enlightened? I can suggest the ones about awakened and informed.

  1. How many Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? None. It's already enlightened.
  2. How many buddhists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they enlighten themselves.
  3. What do you call a rat that has reached enlightenment? A Buddha-Pest
  4. Which email attains enlightenment ? The one which has no attachments !
  5. Why does the Buddha float in water? Because he's enlightened
  6. Going to open up a donut shop next to a medical m**... store I'll call it glazed and confused
  7. What do you call a toy alpaca that has obtained enlightenment? The Dolly Llama
  8. The church in our neighborhood has no lights. Every Sunday we pray for enlightenment.
  9. I set my old school books on fire yesterday. Never before had they been so enlightening.
  10. What do you call a wise plant? Enlighten Mint!
  11. What do you call an enlightened optometrist? A visionary.
  12. What happened to the guy who ingested helium? He became enlightened.
  13. How does Catholic priests and bishops find enlightenment? Through little boys.
  14. The Enlightenment must have been pretty cool. It was LIT.
  15. What happens when an illiterate insect becomes enlightened? ABCs

Enlightened joke, What happens when an illiterate insect becomes enlightened?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about enlightened can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of enlightened puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Hilarious Fun Enlightened Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about enlightened you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean intelligent jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make enlightened prank.

A man goes to ask the great guru, "Which is better, large b**... or small b**...?"

The great guru asks him "How much money do you have in bills in your wallet?"
The man quickly counts the money. "Thirty dollars."
"And if you had thirty dollars in coins," said the guru, "which would have the greater mass- the coins or the bills?"
"The coins of course."
"But which would have the greater value?"
At this moment, the man was enlightened.

A girl walks up to her mother and asks, "Mommy, why am I named Clover?"

"Your grandma believes that it brings luck to our family."
Then, her other daughter walks up. "Mommy, why am I named Nirvana?"
"Because, your aunt believes that is the place you go when you are enlightened."
Finally, her son walks up to her. "Those names make sense, but why am I named *Cakeday?"*
His mother sighs. "Your father believes it is the best way to earn karma."

A horse walks into a bar; the bartender asks, "Hello, do you want a beer?" The horse responds, "I think not," and promptly disappears.

Now, admittedly, this joke only makes sense if you are familiar with the French Enlightenment philosopher, Rene Descartes, who famously said, "I think, therefore I am." The horse thought not, and therefore wasn't...
But if I had explained that first, I would have been putting Descartes before da horse!

A man approaches an ancient temple seeking enlightenment

He hails the monk guarding the gate, "I have come to seek enlightenment for I know nothing"
The monk perks up, "Greetings, what is your name traveler?"
The man smiles, "I am Steve"
The monk laughs, "Lying so soon?"

An Englishman comes to Harvard.

Unable to find out the way to the library, he approaches an undergrad. The subsequent conversation is as follows-
Englishman: Excuse me. Could you kindly enlighten me where the library is at?
Undergrad: It's Harvard. People don't end sentences with a preposition here.
Englishman: Oh, I see. Could you kindly enlighten me where the library is at, a**...?

The following is a joke from 'Harry Hills Whopping Great Joke Book' and I really don't get it. Could anyone enlighten me?

My wife is a stickler for tidiness. I just bought her a cuckoo clock and she's started putting paper under it.

Enlightened joke, How many buddhists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these enlightened jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.