English Speakers Jokes
32 english speakers jokes and hilarious english speakers puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about english speakers that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest English Speakers Short Jokes
Short english speakers jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The english speakers humour may include short english speaking jokes also.
- How can you tell if a Redditor isn't a native English speaker? They'll inform you after three paragraphs of professional English.
- For all you non-native English speakers out there... "Read" is pronounced like "lead", while "read" is pronounced like "lead".
- What do English speakers yell when they're on a rollercoaster? Weeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
What do Spanish speakers yell when they're on a roller coaster?
Nosotros!!!!! - The word Algo may not sound familiar to English speakers. But in Spanish it really means something.
- What's a difference between a suicidal french speakee & a terrified english speaker when you point a gun at them? I don't know, it sounds the same.
- How do you know someone with excellent English isn't a native speaker? They apologize for their bad English.
(Inspired by seeing an example on this sub.) - How do French women hold their liquor? By the ears.
Works best if you are a native English speaker. - A co worker accuses a wife of treating her husband "like a dog" The wife was a not a native English speaker. So she responded "That is not true! I love dogs!"
- English speakers yell "yes" or "yeah" when excited. Spanish speakers yell "sí".... ...French speakers sound like they're going down rollercoasters.
- As a non-native speaker, I have to say, sorry about the bad English That I'm about to get in replies from the native born speakers.
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English Speakers One Liners
Which english speakers one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with english speakers? I can suggest the ones about english people and english small.
- My friend said that I'm not a good english speaker... ...then he bought a new one
- English Speakers There are more English speakers in China than in the United States.
Heartwarming English Speakers Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about english speakers you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean native speakers jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make english speakers pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Monday morning in the office, a man notices that his colleague is very sad.
At breakfast, he approaches him:What's wrong? You look really beat today.
Don't ask, I had the worst weekend you could imagine.
What happened?
I was visiting an old friend that I haven't seen in years and the family caught me sniffing his sister's underwear.
Okay, that's not nice, but no need to get all misty.
Well, she was still wearing them.
Oh, that's even worse.
Yeah, it ruined her whole f**....
Sorry, no native english speaker, but i guess you get the point.
So Jesus, Moses and an old man go golfing
The first to play is Jesus. After his swing, the ball land in the lake. He runs towards it, walks on the water and grabs the ball. Then it's Moses' turn. Bad luck, the same thing happens to him. He walks to the lake, spreads the water into two parts and grabs the ball on the dry ground. Finally, it's time for the old man to play. His ball lands on the top of a tree. Instead of getting the ball, he just waits. After a few minutes, a squirrel hiding in the tree takes the ball and goes down. Then a wolf attacks the squirrel, kills it and eats it. He goes further and ends up vomitting the ball, which is then taken by an eagle. The eagle goes even further, but a hunter shoots it down. The ball falls down and lands exactly in the golf hole. It's hole-in-one and the old man wins. Moses looks at Jesus and says: "I hate playing with your dad."
Sorry if it's a bit long, but I really like that one. Also sorry for my writing, I'm not a native English speaker.
A broken English speaker told a joke to a boy.
The broken English speaker, a man, told the boy a joke about a sword-fighting pirate that desperately hated the wind.
However, the boy, being so young, missed the joke.
No, no, no, said the man. Arr slash whoosh.
Once upon a time
Once upon a time a turtle went on its way to school, but when it got there, they already had gone out on vacation.
NOTE: I'm not native English speaker. Sorry about the posible mistakes.
Keeping the job
As a non-native English speaker, although I am speaking English relatively well and I know how to do my job, I had difficulty finding and keeping a job. Turns out there is a huge difference between 'hard working', 'hardly working' and 'hard at work'.
Que dijo la persona que estaba callendo de un edificio muy muy alto en diciembre?
Feliz gravidad!
(Translation: What did the person falling from the very very tall building in december say?
Happy Gravity!)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Problems of Bein a non-native English speaker
The problem with being a non native English speaker is, that your brain sometimes just s**... up random words and you then use them later without really having a proper intestinal lining of said words. You just hope you used them correctly.
Why did the blind, non-native English speaker fall in the well?
He couldn't see that good.
An Indonesian lady offers an Australian guy a plate of noodles
An Indonesian lady wants to offer some noodles to an Australian guy. However, she isn't a good speaker of English. Despite the shortcomings, she goes for it anyway.
"Hey mister! Do you want mee? Still hot you know!"
^^^mee=noodles
How do speakers of Dutch, English, French and Danish communicate with each other?
They speak Mumble-Saxon.
I can't use, contain, or denote expressions that are natural to a native English speaker.
I'm completely idiomatic.
So my coworker is not a native english speaker...
This morning he walked up to me and asked what is with all the news story on Donald Trump contracting aids from Russian agents...
Non-native English speakers, try to literally translate jokes from your own language
We might get some weird/funny stuff
Interview
p.s: sorry about my english im not an native english speaker, this is the translation from my country joke (indonesia)
A woman came to a job interview. Then the interviewer says: "You have 2 choices, do you prefer me to ask you 10 easy questions, or 1 difficult question?"
After thinking for a while, the woman choose 1 difficult question. Then the interviewer asks: "Which came first, the night or the day?"
Without even thinking, The woman answer:"THE NIGHT, Sir."
Curious, The interviewer asks again:"How can you be so sure Night came first?"
"Sorry sir, but you promised me only one difficult question."
A talking horse enters a bar…
…and demands to the barman to serve him a cold beer. The barman, astonished at the sight of a talking horse tells him to wait for a minute while he checks with the bar's owner:
–There's a talking horse in the bar, and he's asking for a cold beer! What should I do?!
–Well, serve him –answers the owner– just charge him double the usual fee, he won't notice.
So back he goes, purs the cold beer and handles it to the horse. While the horse is still drinking it, the bartender tells him:
–Well… we're not really used to see talking horses around here
To which the horse reply:
–With this prices, it doesn't surprise me!
*Please note: not an English native speaker*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Thread idea: Submit your non-US / Canadian / UK jokes and explain them.
My German friend told me this joke back in college (only makes sense if you're in Germany when you tell it).
>"Why did the Russian thief steal *two* cars?"
>"Because he had to drive back through Poland!"
(the racial stereotype being that Germans consider both Russians and Polish to be notorious crooks)
Anyways if you have some kind of racial / cultural joke that might be unfamiliar to english speakers, let's hear it! (and explain it for us if necessary)
Non-native English speakers are the number one victim...
...of getting punched in the mouse.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In the prison shower
A man is being send to prison, on the first day in the shower he is approached by a giant muscular inmate who asks him intimidatingly
"With or without spit?!"
The man thinks to himself that it will happen no matter what and that it might hurt less with spit so he frighteningly stammers
"With spit"
To which the giant shouts to another inmate.
"Hey come on over Spit, this dude wants a t**...!"
*Have mercy on my joke, I am not a native English speaker and this joke might work better in German.*