English Polite Jokes
9 english polite jokes and hilarious english polite puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about english polite that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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English Polite Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good english polite joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
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A Frenchman, and Englishman, and a Soviet are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.
The Frenchman says, They must be French, they're n**... and they're eating fruit.
The Englishman says, Clearly, they're English; observe how politely the women is offering fruit to the man.
The Soviet replies, No, they are Russian communists, of course. They have no house, nothing to wear, little to eat, and they think they are in Paradise.
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English Weather
I just read something about weather in England:
The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness announced today that the climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as _'English Weather'._
In order to no longer offend a sizable portion of the UK population, it will now be referred to as _'Muslim Weather'_ -- partly Sunni, but mostly s**...'ite.
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Politics Is the Most Accurate Word In English
It's made up of two other parts.
1 - Poly - meaning many
2 - ticks - blood s**... insects.
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TIL: Where does the word "politics" come from.
From poly, Greek for many, and tics, English for pesky parasites.
Political Joke
In Texas there is a town called New Braunfels, where there is a large German-speaking population.
One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond.
The rancher rolled down the window and shouted: "Sehr angenehm! Trink das Wasser nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen."
This means: Glad to meet you! Don't drink the water. The cows have sh*t in it."
The man shouted back: "I'm from New York and just down here campaigning for Joe Biden. I can't understand you. Please speak in English."
The rancher replied: "Use both hands."
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It's okay if white people invade Mexico illegally, only speaking English, taking jobs, bringing gangs, r**... and drugs while demand citizenship?
That is the Politically Correct thing to do.
An Japanese man walks into a bank...
... and goes up to the teller. Even though he is new to speaking English, he says, "I wish to exchange 400 of my currency for US dollars. The teller proceeds to do so and they politely part ways. A few days pass and the Japanese man again walks into the bank, again to exchange the same amount currency. This time though, the teller hands him less than the previous exchange. Confused, he asked the teller, "Why have you given me less dollars than before?"
"Fluctuations," replies the teller, " the markets have changed."
"Fluctuations? FLUCTUATIONS!" The Japanese man exclaims, " Fluctu-Americans, too!"
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A blond, a brunette and a redhead . . .
were in a breast s**... competition to cross the English Channel. They all dove in together on the shores of the UK. Across the Channel on the shores of France, the judges and media waited patiently.
After a few hours the redhead emerged from the waters to hearty cheers. About a half hour later, the brunette emerged to polite applause. But where was the blond?
They waited and waited. The sun was starting to set when the blond came out of the water, nearly dead from exhaustion. The few newsmen that remained rushed to her and asked if she had anything to say.
"Yes!" she gasped. "I don't want to sound like a sore loser, but I think that brunette and redhead were using their arms!"
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1) How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, one to change the light buld and the other 9 to say "that should be me up there"
2) How many g**... does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one but it takes a whole emergancy room to screw it back out again
3) How many English men does it take to change a lightbulb? 2, One to climb the British standard safety ladder while wearing a high vis jacket and hard hat while the other one carries out a whole risk assessmennt and cancels the operation as it is deemed unsafe.
4) How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ve are asking ze qvestions here!
5) How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? 250,000. One to change the lightbulb and 249,999 to debate whether it was politically correct.
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