English Green Jokes
9 english green jokes and hilarious english green puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about english green that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Hilarious English Green Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What is a good english green joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
English is not first language want to try joke from my country
Why did snoop dog not have a pretty green American yard?
Because he don't love no hose.
Mujibar get a job in India
Mujibar was trying to get a job in India .
The Personnel Manager said, 'Mujibar, you have to show you are proficient in the English language. Please make a sentence using the words: Yellow, Pink, and Green.'
Mujibar responded, 'The telephone goes green, green, I pink it up, and say, Yellow! This is Mujibar.'
Mujibar now works at a call center. No doubt you have spoken to him.
A Mexican Immigrant Wants to Cross the Border
There is a guard waiting at the border, who tells hi to go home, as he is not allowed to pass. The Mexican man refuses to leave so he sits beside the guard for over 4 hours. The guard, who has given up, tells the man that if he can use the words green, pink, and yellow in a sentence, he can pass. Confident that the Immigrant doesn't know much English, they agree to these terms. The Mexican man says, Easy. I am at home. The phone goes 'green, green, green'! So I pink it up, and I say 'yellow'?
Italian, French and Indian went for a job interview at call center
Before the interview, they were told that they must compose a sentence in English with three main words: green, pink and yellow.
The Italian was first: "I wake up in the morning, I see the yellow sun, I see the green grass and I think to myself: I hope it will be a pink day."
The French was next: " I wake up in the morning, I eat a yellow banana, a green pepper and in the evening I watch the pink panther on TV.
Last was the Indian: "I wake up in the morning, I hear the phone green green, I pink up the phone and I say: Yellow".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Old Scottish joke I remembered that just became relevant again...
The head greenkeeper of St Andrews golf course was out inspecting the greens one morning when he spotted a golfer bending over the stream on the 18th, scooping up water with his hand and drinking it.
'Haw', he shouted, 'Ye shouldnae drink that watter, it's got coo's pish in it!'
The golfer looked up and replied, 'I'm sorry old chap, I'm English and I'm afraid I couldn't understand a word you were saying'
The greenkeeper shouted back, 'I said, use both hands, you'll get more in!'
There once was a big, strong bull...
There once was this big, strong bull. Had a ring in his nose, big horns and he went by the name of Hannibal. He had a field to himself with green grass, small dandelions and a fence. One day, the farmer brings some pretty cute cows and puts them in the field next to Hannibal.
So the bull walks up to the barbed wire and checks out the pretty ladies on the other side. He knows that he would like to get to know them a bit better - if you know what I mean - , but there is this fence between them. So he waits until the farmer leaves, takes a long run and jumps over the fence into the other field.
The cows look all startled and giggle: "O my, Hannibal... how did you get in here?"
He winks: "Just call me Hanni, honey... The rest I left hanging in the barbed wire."
- Sorry for the English, it is not my first language.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An American goes to Japan....
...to close a big business deal. The night before, he is very tense so he picks up a h**... in the hotel bar. She speaks no English, but they get their transaction settled and go to his room.
In bed, she is wildly thrashing around screaming out a phrase in Japanese. The man figures she is loving it and tries to remember what she is yelling.
The next day, he is playing golf with his Japanese customer. On the third tee, the Japanese man swings, the ball makes a beautiful arc, hits the green, bounces twice, rolls, and winds up right in the cup -- a hole in one!
Thinking to impress his client, the man repeats the phrase he had heard so much the night before. The Japanese golfer eyes him and says, "What you mean.... wrong hole?"
Using the word 'definitely'
A 3rd grade English teacher stood in front of her class and asked for volunteers to use the word 'definitely' to describe something.
The first student, Johnny, raised his hand and said "Teacher, the sky is definitely blue!"
The teacher responds "Well Johnny, sometimes the sky can be grey and sometimes it can be black." Defeated, Johnny put his hand down.
The next student, Susie, looking to make Johnny look bad proudly said "The grass is definitely green."
Teacher responded "Not so true Susie. When the grass dies, it can be brown, or yellow." Susie was embarrassed.
The teacher looked around the room and saw a puzzled look on her student's faces. Just as she was about the help her students out, little Billy threw his hand up.
"Yes Billy?"
"Teacher, are farts lumpy?" Little Billy asked.
"No Billy, farts are not lumpy."
"....Then I definitely just pooped my pants."
EDIT - Names...D'oh. Face meet palm
We've all talked to this guy!!
Mujibar was trying to get a job in India. The Personnel Manager said; "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. It is a simple test of your English language skill. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job." Mujibar said, "I am ready." The manager said, " You must make a sentence using the words yellow, pink, and green." Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said. "Mister Manager, I am ready." The Manager said. "Go ahead." Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green; and I pink it up, and say 'Yellow', this is Mujibar!" Mujibar now works at a call center. No doubt you have spoken to him!!
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