Playful Engines Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
A Latino gang member has received poor customer service at the railway station, so he vandalised one of the train engines in revenge.
It was a loco motive.
I can build and fix small engines using only v**..., f**... and rotted animals.
Due to my g**... motor skills.
A plane crashes on the border.
A plane was full of passengers. The engines go out and the plane crashed directly on the American and Canadian border. Where do you bury the survivors? None of them were either American or Canadian.
[Why would you bury the survivors?] (/spoiler)
Mechanic
Hey, have you ever heard of that hard working car mechanic that specializes in engines and the back of cars?
They say he gets very exhausted.
A 747 just landed at Heathrow Airport in London
A 747 just landed at Heathrow Airport in London. After the captain shutdown the engines you could still hear the whining.
The secret of recent e**... of Antares rocket
The decades old Soviet rocket engines it used were engineered to fly TO America, not AWAY from it.
Engine failure
A Boeing 747 was having trouble with the engines. The pilots called the cabin crew and asked them to prepare the cabin for an emergency landing.
After a while, the pilots call back and ask if the cabin is secure. The flight attendant replies "Yes, captain. But there are some lawyers walking around handing out business cards"
How is it that magic carpets are able to fly?
They are powered by turban engines.
What do you call the Israeli PM when he switches search engines?
Benjamin Netangoogle
Women are kinda like engines.
You gotta show them a little TLC to get all your money's worth out of them, and every now you have to choke them to get them to turnover.
What do South American governments and internal combustion engines have in common?
Both are measured in revolutions per minute.
You can explore engines runway reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean engines diesel dad jokes. There are also engines puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I never understood why we use piston cylinders in engines...
I think we should use clean ones.
Why are fire engines red?
You would be too if you were running down the road with your hose hanging out!
Four students are having a problem with their car...
Four students are having a problem with their car and are forced to stop on the side of the road.
"The ignition is damaged" says the electrical engineer.
"The fuel pipe is clogged" says the chemist.
"Engines is damaged" says the engineer.
"Lets just get out of the car and get in again" says the computer scientist.
Have a Question about search engines?
Ask Jeeves
Yes, It's true eagles can soar...
...but at least weasels don't get s**... into jet engines.
"The neighbors hate us."
"The neighbors hate us."
"Why?"
"Well, you remember when we had that bonfire in my yard, and were roasting marshmallows?"
"Yeah, that was really fun."
"And remember how the house up the road caught fire, and all those fire engines came, and we ran to see what was going on, and the wife was crying in her husband's arms, and how everyone looked at us funny?"
"Yeah, I remember! I wondered what we'd done..."
"We were still holding our marshmallow sticks."
Why are Russian engines terrible?
Because they're always Stalin.
If Trump bans trans from the Army, they won't be going anywhere.
Seriously, the engines can't just hook up to the drive shafts or there won't be enough torque.
Cardiologist and the Mechanic
A cardiologist's car breaks down and he goes to a mechanic to get it fixed. After everything is done, the mechanic asks the cardiologist,
"Here's what I don't understand. I fix engines, and so do you, albeit human ones, so why do you get paid ten times more than I do?"
The cardiologist then turns the ignition on and says, "try it with the engine running."
Theres an American airline and one of the engines is going out
TIL if one of the engines on a plane fails, the remaining engine can still get the plane to the ground.
Even faster, in fact.
TIL Italian scientists in the 1920's discovered they could power engines with common herbs and spices
Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.
I quit my job drilling ventilation holes in jet engines...
...it was just plane boring.
Skydiving humor
A news reporter was doing a story about skydiving and so he visited a drop zone and went for a ride on the plane to watch everyone jump. One of the plane's engines quit and all the skydivers immediately went out the door. Then the pilot put on his own parachute rig and headed toward the open door himself. The reporter yelled "What's happening? Is everything all right?" and the pilot said "Don't panic. I'm going to get help."
(Long) Crashing Plane
The pilot comes on the intercom and announces "ladies and gentlemen we just lost our engines, we are going down, prepare to c**...."
A woman jumps up screaming "I AM NOT READY TO DIE, I"M STILL A v**..., SOMEONE MAKE A WOMAN OUT OF ME!
A good looking guy gets up, walks to her, and takes off his shirt showing his muscular chest and six pack abs,
He throws it at her and says; " Here, iron this".
The Washington r**... could be less offensive by changing their logo to a train . . .
They would be The Washington Engines.
Engines are like jokes.
They only work if the timing is right.
Two men and a woman flying on a plane...
Suddenly both engines stop, plane starts to go down. Guy#1 takes the only parachute and is going to jump out of the plane. But guy#2 says Hey, there's a lady for Christ's sake! Guy#1 looks at his wristwatch and says... Do you think we have time for this?
The Washington r**... just officially announced they are retiring their team name and logo.
The new team name is going to be the Washington Engines.
Why are fire engines red?
So they can sneak up on fires without being caught.
Two blondes were passengers on a four-engine plane...
Suddenly, one of the engines quit and the pilot announced that the plane would now be fifteen minutes late.
A short time later, another engine quit. The pilot announced they would be thirty minutes late.
Then the third engine quit and the pilot announced that they would be one hour late.
At this point, the one blonde said to the other, "Boy, if the fourth engine quits we could be up here all day!"
Why can't engines remain government leaders?
Once the first revolution begins there's always thousands more.
The neighbors hate us.
"The neighbors hate us."
"Why?"
"Well, you remember when we had that bonfire in my yard, and were roasting marshmallows?"
"Yeah, that was really fun."
"And remember how the house up the road caught fire, and all those fire engines came, and we ran to see what was going on, and the wife was crying in her husband's arms, and how everyone looked at us funny?"
"Yeah, I remember! I wondered what we'd done..."
"We were still holding our marshmallow sticks."
Pope Francis, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, and a little boy are crossing the Atlantic on an airplane when the engines fail.
They find three parachutes.
Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps out of the plane saying, The world needs a great person like me!
Joe Biden grabs a parachute and says, I need to help make choices for our world , so he jumps off the plane.
At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane.
The Pope says to the boy, take the last parachute, I am too old and I'm going to die soon one day.
Actually there are two left. Donald Trump took my backpack.
How can you tell when a jet landing in Australia is from England?
When the engines are turned off the whining continues.
A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Russian, and a Ukrainian are on a a plan when the plane's engines fail and it starts to go down.
The pilot grabs one of the parachutes and jumps from the plane. The remaining passengers see that there is only one c**... left, and quickly do the math.
The Englishman stands up, straightens his tie, says "God save the Queen!" and jumps from the plane.
The Frenchman, not wanting to be seen as less noble than the Englishman, says "Vive la France!" and jumps to his death.
The Ukrainian stands up, straightens his vyshyvanka, says "Slava Ukraini!" and throws the Russian out.
