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Engaged Jokes

76 engaged jokes and hilarious engaged puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about engaged that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This light-hearted article gives readers the scoop on the unique ways to inject newly engaged couples with a little extra intimacy. Learn some fresh jokes that could help to start conversations and keep them smiling, particularly if some of the standard "just engaged" conversations are starting to run dry. No need to worry about memes or melons - this list has you covered!

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Popular Engaged Short Jokes

Short engaged jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The engaged humour may include short engagement jokes also.

  1. Did you know there are 3 rings in a relationship? The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffer ring
  2. Every marriage has 3 rings. First is the engagement ring. Second, the wedding ring. Then comes the suffering.
  3. I was taught there are 3 rings in life. The engagement ring. The wedding ring. And the suffering.
  4. They say marriage is like a three-ring circus First, you get the engagement ring.
    Then, you get the wedding ring.
    And finally, you get suffering
  5. My friends just got engaged, so I asked if they've picked a date for the wedding They said, 'Yeah, we're taking each other.'
  6. Platonic friendships are like chess. They're fun, engaging, and can last a long time... but someone's always wondering "how many moves until mate?"
  7. My dog swallowed my engagement ring last night, but luckily coughed it out when he barked. There was a diamond in the ruff.
  8. I was chopping up some leftover dumplings from my soup at a Chinese restaurant when suddenly it hit me... I was engaging in acts of wonton destruction.
  9. If I worked in a restaurant.... on valentines day I'd put a fake engagement ring in every girl's drink.
  10. The three types of rings pertaining to marriage… 1. The engagement ring.
    2. The wedding ring.
    3. The suffering.

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Engaged One Liners

Which engaged one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with engaged? I can suggest the ones about involved and enlisted.

  1. Does anyone know where Engagement, Ohio is? About halfway between Dayton and Marion
  2. Where is Engagement, Ohio? It's somewhere between Dayton and Marion.
  3. What crime does a careful walnut engage in? Safe cracking
  4. Marriage is a three-ring circus. \- engagement ring
    \- wedding ring
    \- suffering
  5. I was engaged to a girl with a wooden leg once... ...but I had to break it off.
  6. What do you call a bee that gets engaged? A Beyoncé.
  7. I was engaged to a zombie but it fell apart.
  8. Marriage involves three rings. The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.
  9. What comes after the engagement ring and the wedding ring? The suffer ring.
  10. What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife? Engage.
  11. Do you know where Engaged Ohio is located? It's in between Dayton and Marion..
  12. What idiot called it an engagement ring... When he could've called it a Kneel Diamond?
  13. 3 rings in a man's life 1. Engagement ring
    2. Wedding ring
    3. Suffering
  14. I'm really busy getting married You could say, I am engaged.
  15. The 3 rings of a relationship Engagement ring
    Wedding ring
    Suffering

Just Engaged Jokes

Here is a list of funny just engaged jokes and even better just engaged puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Just found out that male lions sometimes engage in homosexual behavior. Must have a lot of gay pride.
  • Just read that actor Maria Mercedes broke off her engagement to William Shatner. She realized she'd be known as Maria Shatner Mercedes.
  • What are the three rings of marriage? The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.
  • I asked my partner what sort of engagement ring she'd like. "One that's a bit like you," she said.
    "Full of sparkle?"
    "Cheap and round," she replied.
  • Before getting engaged to Serena, Alexis Ohanian actually dated a fencer Until he got sick of the ripostes.
  • I read that if you're unsure about how much to spend on an engagement ring, a monthly pay check is a good guideline. So I spent £200 and gave most of the ring to our landlord.
  • Two antennas meet on a roof and fall in love... They date for awhile, get engaged, and then get married. The wedding ceremony itself wasn't that great, but the reception was amazing!
  • The four rings of marriage. The Engagement ring, the Wedding ring, Enduring and, Suffering.
  • Is he cheap? He'd marry a thin girl because she could wear a smaller sized engagement ring.

    Source: 1913 newspaper
  • There were three rings in OJ Simpson's marriage. First, they had the engagement ring. After that, they had the wedding ring. And finally, there was the murdering.
Engaged joke, There were three rings in OJ Simpson's marriage.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about engaged can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of engaged puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Fun-Filled Engaged Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about engaged you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean deployed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make engaged prank.

Mobile

While engaged in the s**... act, wife to her hubby, "You're just like a mobile."
The husband proudly asks, "You love my vibration."
Wife: Na Na Na... the moment you get into basement, your network fails!"


Being engaged

Daddy what does being engaged mean?
Son It's like getting a bike for Christmas but not being able to ride it til Easter.

What did Jay-Z call Beyoncé after they got engaged?

Fiancée.

A lesbian friend of mine corrected a misconception that I had....

I had told her that I assumed the majority of l**... engaged in f**.... Turns out, it's only a handful...

When a man and a woman...

When a man and a woman first engage in a relationship it's the woman that speaks and the man that listens.
When they are becoming engaged, it's the man that speaks and the woman that listens.
When they are married it's both the man and the woman speaking and the neighbours that are listening.

2 surgeons are sitting down having lunch.

They are both engaged in a conversation when all of a sudden, one of the surgeons starts laughing hysterically. A dermatologist walks over to their table to join them. He asked the surgeons, "what's so funny?" One of the surgeons replies, " you wouldn't understand. It's an inside joke. "

I'm planning a marriage proposal over the phone.

I will give her a ring. Let's hope she is not engaged!

If we become engaged will you give me a ring?

Sure, what's your phone number?

Two Jewish friends pass a Catholic Church.

Two Jewish friends pass a Catholic Church on which a large poster addresses non-Catholics: "Come to us, accept Catholicism, and you instantly get $30,000 in cash!" While walking away, the two friends become engaged in a debate about whether the offer is meant seriously. A week later the two friends meet again in front of the same church, and one of them confides to the other: "I still wonder if that offer is serious." the other replies condescendingly: "Ah you Jews, all you think about is money!"

Maria is a devout Catholic: She gets married and has 17 children.

Soon after the last child is born her husband dies.
A few weeks later she remarries and over the following years has
another 22 children with her second husband.
After the last child is born her second husband also dies.
Within a month Maria is engaged to be married a third time.
Unfortunately she becomes very ill and dies.
At her wake, the priest looks tenderly at Maria as she lies in
her coffin, looks up to the heavens and says,
"At least, they're finally together."
A man standing next to the priest asks,
"Excuse me, Father, but do you mean Maria and her first husband,
or Maria and her second husband?"
The priest says, "I mean her legs."

I told my parents that I recently got engaged to Prednisone.

Needless to say, it was a bitter pill to s**....

I got engaged for the third time today

Half Wife 3 confirmed.

During a particularly good talk with my girlfriend, I decided to ask her to marry me...

She said yes, and we kept talking, happily engaged in conversation.
Happy Valentines!

When you are engaged don't say you are taken...

You are just booked. Bookings can be cancelled anytime

What I called my wife when we were engaged

My Ex-girlfriend

A man with a wooden leg walks into a bar

The bartender says " I was once engaged to a girl with a wooden leg"
The man replied " Oh yeah, What happened? "
The bartender says " I had to break it off"

An engaged man asked his father for advice for a long and happy marriage...

Dad, you and Mom have been happily married for 28 years now. How do you do it?
"That's easy son, when your Mom and I first got married, we made a deal. She would make all the little decisions, and I would make all the big decisions. "
Hey, that sounds like a good arrangement. But how do you decide what's a big decision, and what's a little decision?
"Oh, there hasn't been any big decisions yet."

What did Captain Jean-Luc Picard say when someone tried to walk in on him in the bathroom?

Engaged!

The latest Hollywood scandal centers on the late Patrick McGoohan.

Apparently, while filming 'The Prisoner,' he engaged in **six**ual harassment.

I was engaged before

It didn't work out so now i just refer to her as a near miss

What do you call engaged melons on the TSA watchlist?

Cantaloupe

With Prince Harry and meghan markle getting engaged, it's great to progress past old prejudices.

Fair play to her for agreeing to marry a ginger.

My two w**... dealers started working together.

In other words, they engaged in a joint venture.

Tesla car crashes on auto-pilot!

But it did record major life events about your friends and notify you saying "Auto-Pilot Engaged"

A man sees two people engaged in a game of Chess at the gym

The man asks the two: Why are you two here?
One of them replies: Those bodybuilders over there said it was Chess day

I got engaged to a p**... from India

She was always thanking me and telling me to come again.

Why Couldn't The Bourdon Tubes Hookup?

They were already engaged.

I yelled at a friend because in her email she used 'peak' instead of 'peak', 'hear' instead of 'here' and other, similar mistakes.

I engaged in and ad homonym attack.

My girlfriend is mad because I keep getting free drinks around town by saying I'm engaged

She said "Why is it that every time you say your engaged people congratulate you and buy you a drink, but when I say it they charge me double?"
I told her that when she says it they expect to see a ring but when I say it they expect to see an empty wallet

What did the one engaged melon say to her groom melon?

Sorry we canteloupe.

My brother proposed to his girlfriend while on holiday. I called to congratulate them...

...but they were engaged.

Why were the two engaged melons upset their visas get declined?

They cantaloupe

What did Donkey say after he got engaged?

I like that boulder. That is a NICE boulder.

My sister moved to Alaska and got engaged to an Inuit

... but it got that cold, she broke it off.

The clairvoyant and her boyfriend got engaged after only two dates.

It was love at second sight, they said.

A man finally got engaged to his dream woman. Eager to show off his new fiance, he took her to his home town.

Upon arrival, he approached his mother and said, I'm going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess which one is my fiance.
Sure enough, twenty minutes later, the man walked in the door with three girls following behind him.
Without a moment's hesitation the mother pointed to the man's fiance and said, It's that one.
Wow! exclaimed the man. How in the world did you know it was her?
The mother shrugged, I just don't like her.

Ed Sheeran's Perfect Timing

Some background is required to understand this beautiful joke.
My best friend is engaged to my little brother and the summer after our senior year she had to get surgery because her legs were growing inward. They broke her femurs and inserted metal rods to help them grow back straight, and they took them out a few months later. During the time after the surgery she couldn't walk and got around in a wheelchair.
July 4th, after her surgery, my brother was watching fireworks with her and her family. Ed Sheeran's song "Thinking Out Loud" came on the radio. Without missing a beat my brother makes eye contact with her and sings:
"When your legs don't work like they used to before"

A catholic woman gets engaged

I heard this joke from a father(catholic priest) today.
A catholic woman gets engaged and finds out that her fiance doesn't believe in h**....
She goes to her father and says : "Father, my fiance doesn't believe in h**.... Maybe I should rethink about marrying him".
Her father says: " Don't worry! He will definitely believe after getting married."

My fried just got engaged to her boyfriend, Peter, and was gushing about how in love she is. Obviously the first thing out of my mouth was "oh, so you're a massive Peterphile!" Apparently that was "inappropriate" and now she's annoyed with me.

This is actually a true story, so hope it's okay that it's not in a standard joke format.

Just proposed and thought to myself..

I can no longer say I'm really focused now I have to say I'm really engaged

A squad of potatoes is engaged in a firefight after being sent to secure several important roads...

Gunfire and explosions are raining down on the group of potatoes until it's only the sergeant on his radio and a couple of others standing over the crispy skins of their fallen comrades. The General's voice suddenly blares from the radio...
"Sergeant, come in! What is your status, are the routes safe?"
"NO SIR, THE ROOTS ARE NOT SAFE - AND WE'RE DROPPING LIKE FRIES!"

A man sits down next to a woman on a bus

The man starts flirting with her, and in the course of their conversation she admits that she's a nymphomaniac.
"Oh really," says the man, instantly more engaged in their conversation.
"Yeah", she confirms, "but I'm only attracted to Jewish cowboys. Anyway, my name is Mary-Beth, what's your name?"
The man shakes her hand and says, "nice to meet you, Mary-Beth, my name is Yosemite Goldstein."

\[cr

A couple's young daughter went to college.

After 6 months she happily let them know she was engaged to a student who is studying to be a pastor, and is bringing him home for the holidays.
And after the introductions the father and the boy sat and the father asked: " How old are you?"
Fiance:"19"
Father: "And where are you going to live?"
Fiance: "God will provide."
Father: "And where are you going to get money?"
Fiance: "God will provide."
Later that night the mother asked the father: "What do you think of him?"
And the father: "He seems to be a nice guy, he thinks I am God."

Engaged joke, A couple's young daughter went to college.

jokes about engaged

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these engaged jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.