The Best 43 Engage Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Engage jokes. There are some engage intercourse jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these engage dialogue puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Engage Jokes and Puns

Why don't Junior League debutantes engage in group sex?

Too many thank you notes to write afterwards.

I was engaged to a girl with a wooden leg once...

...but I had to break it off.

A Pirate Captain Spots a Naval Ship On The Horizon

... He turns to his first mate and says "Get me my red shirt!". The first mate asks why and the captain replies, "If I get injured in battle I wouldn't want my crew to worry about me". The first mate nods and fetches the shirt.

The pirates engage the naval ship but soon discover it was a the flagship of a much larger naval fleet that was heading in their direction.

The captain turns to his first mate and says "Fetch me my brown pants!"

Engage joke, A Pirate Captain Spots a Naval Ship On The Horizon


A Jewish guy goes into a confession box. "Father O'Malley," he says, "my name is Emil Cohen. I'm seventy eight years old. Believe it or not, I'm currently involved with a 28 year old girl, and also, on the side, her 19 year old sister. We engage in all manner of pleasure, and in my entire life I've never felt better." "My good man," says the priest, "I think you've come to the wrong place. Why are you telling me?" And the guy goes: "I'm telling everybody!"

'Sex' and 'Love' ....;)

At the retreat, a couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words 'sex' and 'love.'

The woman wrote:
When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and they respect each other very much, just like my hubby and I, it is spiritually and morally acceptable for them to engage in the act physical sex with one another.

The Husband wrote: I Love Sex.

Does anyone know where Engagement, Ohio is?

About halfway between Dayton and Marion

What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife?


Engage joke, What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife?

I was engaged to a zombie

but it fell apart.

How was my engagement the same as my divorce?

In the end, I settled.

Being engaged

Daddy what does being engaged mean?
Son It's like getting a bike for Christmas but not being able to ride it til Easter.

"my husband committed fraud by creating a ponzi scheme so I am going to engage in frivolous lawsuits to try to pay for his legal fees....."

You can explore engage conduct reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean engage stimulation dad jokes. There are also engage puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

When a man and a woman...

When a man and a woman first engage in a relationship it's the woman that speaks and the man that listens.
When they are becoming engaged, it's the man that speaks and the woman that listens.
When they are married it's both the man and the woman speaking and the neighbours that are listening.

I work as a guide at a zoo. What's your favourite animal joke?

I give tours at a zoo. Each tour goes for a couple of hours so it is good to engage the guests and make the tour a bit more fun. What is your favourite animal joke I can use at work?

If we become engaged will you give me a ring?

Sure, what's your phone number?

What do an engagement ring and a child molester have in common?

They both come in a little box.

Stallman, Torvalds and Knuth have a conversation.

Richard M. Stallman, Linus Torvalds, and Donald E. Knuth
engage in a discussion on whose impact
on the computerized world was the greatest.
Stallman: "God told me I have programmed the best editor in the world!"
Torvalds: "Well, God told *me* that I have programmed the best operating system in the world!"
Knuth: "Wait, wait - I never said that."

Engage joke, Stallman, Torvalds and Knuth have a conversation.

A zookeeper notices his prize gorilla was getting aggressive..

She wouldn't eat. She wouldn't sleep. And she constantly kept trying to attack the zookeeper. So, he did some research and found out female gorillas can become depressed and aggressive when deprived from sex.

The zookeeper then looked around for another male gorilla for her to engage in intercourse, but unfortunately the zoo couldn't afford to import a male gorilla just for her to have sex.

Giving his funding situation, he goes up to the janitor and asks him "Hey, for $500, would you have sex with this gorilla?"

The janitor thought about it for a minute, and then replied "Sure, on three conditions. First condition, I don't want to kiss her."

"Okay sure! I wouldn't expect you to!"

The janitor then stated "Second condition. I don't want anyone knowing about this ordeal."

"Sure, fine! Not a problem! What's your third condition?"

Janitor said "Give me at least 2 weeks to come up with the $500"

Why don't Southern girls engage in orgies?

Too many thank-you notes.

Studies show that 3/5 of all African Americans

are productive members of society, who actively engage in their community.

Just found out that male lions sometimes engage in homosexual behavior.

Must have a lot of gay pride.

The Depressed Student

Sally noticed that one of her students had been suffering from depression for the last few weeks. She decided to ask him some easy questions in an effort to engage him. Johnny, if I subtract 4 from 12 what do I get?"

Johnny looked at her and sighed, "I don't know. What difference does it make?"

Where is Engagement, Ohio?

It's somewhere between Dayton and Marion.

A man wanted me to engage in necrophilia... NSFW

I told him to drop dead

I got engaged for the third time today

Half Wife 3 confirmed.

Before getting engaged to Serena, Alexis Ohanian actually dated a fencer

Until he got sick of the ripostes.

When you are engaged don't say you are taken...

You are just booked. Bookings can be cancelled anytime

What crime does a careful walnut engage in?

Safe cracking

What's it called when birds of prey engage in rhythmic combat?

A RAP-tor battle!! (Credit to my friend who made this up)

What comes after the engagement ring and the wedding ring?

The suffer ring.

An engaged man asked his father for advice for a long and happy marriage...

Dad, you and Mom have been happily married for 28 years now. How do you do it?

"That's easy son, when your Mom and I first got married, we made a deal. She would make all the little decisions, and I would make all the big decisions. "

Hey, that sounds like a good arrangement. But how do you decide what's a big decision, and what's a little decision?

"Oh, there hasn't been any big decisions yet."

I was engaged before

It didn't work out so now i just refer to her as a near miss

If multiple female jet pilots engage in air combat, would that be a cat fight?

I got engaged to a prostitute from India

She was always thanking me and telling me to come again.

New research confirms how couples that regularly engage in mutual oral sex, the percentage continues to hold at...


Do you know where Engagement, Ohio is?

It's right in between Dayton and Marion.

What did the one engaged melon say to her groom melon?

Sorry we canteloupe.

A Jewish and Russian soldier come under heavy fire...

As both engage the enemy the Jewish soldier is struck with a bullet and mortally wounded.

The Russian soldier continues to return fire and hold back the enemy, eventually however his ammo is spent.
He looks to his Jewish comrade and says I cannot hold them back, I'm out of ammunition

The Jew, struggling to keep his eyes open motions the Russian over. Here he says you can buy some of mine .

Why were the two engaged melons upset their visas get declined?

They cantaloupe

Why shouldn't Spanish people engage in spelunking and fishing at the same time?

Because they can get Carp El Tunnel Syndrome.

A pizza and a taco engage in a boxing fight. Who will win?

The taco; because the pizza couldn't tactically think outside the box.

The wife said: "Bulls can engage in sexual activity more than 20 times in a day. I wish you could do that..."

And the husband replied: "Just remember they do it with more than one cow..."

Attention: The chemical CHCl3 has been proven to reduce the spread of COVID-19.

So before you leave your home to engage in risky behavior, make sure you soak your mask in chloroform.

Do you know where Engaged Ohio is located?

It's in between Dayton and Marion..

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the engage devise jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working engage sessions piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes