Energy Jokes
150 energy jokes and hilarious energy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about energy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out this collection of jokes and puns related to energy! From energy drinks to energy efficiency, physics and energy transfer, you'll be sure to have a blast with these jokes. So grab an energy bar and get ready for some energy-filled laughs!
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Funniest Energy Short Jokes
Short energy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The energy humour may include short power jokes also.
- No matter what they say, you matter. Unless you get multiplied by the speed of light squared. Then you Energy
- Why does a 6 oz hamburger have less energy than a 6 oz steak? Because the hamburger is in the ground state.
- What's the difference between a Texas energy company and a Dumpster Fire? A Dumpster Fire creates affordable light and heat.
- What's the difference between watts and ohms? Watts are a unit of electrical energy. Ohms are where British people live.
- A solar panel is talking to a wind turbine... The solar panel says, "So what do you think about this whole renewable energy thing?"
The turbine replies, "I'm a big fan." - Einstein walks into a bar... The bartender asks "What's the deal, Einstein? You look like you're out of energy tonight."
Einstein responds: "Eh, no matter."
[BTW this was original] - A Soviet newspaper announces: "Last night, the Chernobyl nuclear Power Station fulfilled the Five Year Plan for heat energy generation..."
"...in four microseconds." - Due to the recession and to save on energy costs, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off.
- Breaking up is like physics ... She keeps saying that I have no energy.
I keep telling her that I have potential. - Why was the beginner accordion player always snacking? He needed the extra energy to keep up with all the squeezing.
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Energy One Liners
Which energy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with energy? I can suggest the ones about battery and heat.
- Why isn't energy made of atoms? It doesn't matter
(go ahead and down vote :P) - Don't make fun of vegans... They only have the energy to be offended once or twice a day.
- H.o.m.e.w.o.r.k Half of my energy wasted on random knowledge
- "You're a unit of electrical energy, Harry." "I'm a watt?"
- What do you call a scientist that steals energy? A joule thief.
- Just stole some energy bars from a store. I'm a joule thief.
- What do you get when you pour red bull onto a clock? A waste of time and energy.
- Love is energy over time Because Watt is love?
- Which store do the Kardashians put most of their time and energy into? Photoshop
- How do windmills feel about renewable energy? They're pretty big fans
- What's a good source of Vietnamese renewable energy? A Nguyen mill.
- I am rebranding computers' energy saving mode It's a power nap.
- I hear the new PM has a bold plan to solve Britain's energy woes Gaslighting.
- I'm not saying my wife is fat... But I put an energy saving bulb in the refrigerator.
- What's your stand on renewable energy? I don't know about you, but I'm a Big Fan.
Energy Drink Jokes
Here is a list of funny energy drink jokes and even better energy drink puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A new energy drink called F5 just came out, It's super refreshing!
- I scored a date with an energy drink. Now I can say I went out with a Bang!
- Did you hear about the people who stole 357 energy drinks? I don't know how these people sleep at night.
- I found a combo of energy drinks that makes you feel like a fan girl All you have to do is Bang a couple Rockstars
- What happens when you drink 2 5-Hour Energies? Do you get double the energy for 5 hours or 10 hours of energy? You get a heart attack
- I bought a Monster energy drink for my wheelchair-ridden co-worker. It's a shame we don't sell Red Bull, because who needs legs when you could have wings?
- My wife was at an energy drinks shop. She phoned me and said, "Would you like a Monster?"
I said, "No, thanks. I've already married one." - What does an iPhone drink for energy? Apple juice.
- What is David Bowie's favourite energy drink? Redbull Redbull
- TIL that energy drinks are more effective... when you smoke them, and they're crack.
Renewable Energy Jokes
Here is a list of funny renewable energy jokes and even better renewable energy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My energy supplier proudly boasts that they use 100% renewables. They sent my renewal quote. Can anybody tell me what day it was, when wind doubled in price?
- What do you call a TV show discussing renewable energy? The solar panel
- Did you know that Germany has one of the highest renewable energy use ratings in the world? They most certainly use less gas now.
- Two wind turbines are having a paddle 1: What's your thoughts on renewable energy?
2: I'm a big fan. - What do you call a group of people in charge of renewable energy for a town? A solar panel.
- I don't think its feasible to have 100% renewable energy It's just a Pipe dream.
- Using windmills as a source for renewable energy? I'm a big fan
- What are the gorillaz favorite source of renewable energy? Windmill, windmill for the land.
- You could call me a windmill Because I'm a huge fan of renewable energy
- What's a republican way to provide renewable energy to all of America? Build a generator around Eisenhower's grave
Cr
Saving Energy Jokes
Here is a list of funny saving energy jokes and even better saving energy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm starting to feel that the united airlines memes are like beating a dead horse. so to save everyone some energy I bought the horse a ticket to fly United.
- I've been trying to save energy recently. So I threw out the treadmill and moved the beer fridge closer to my room.
- Recession With the new recession in order to save some energy the light at the end of the tunnel will be closed.
Signed : Donald Trump - I'm not lazy... I'm just on my energy saving mode.
- Christopher Reeves tried to run away from death , but saved his energy to fly .
Potential Energy Jokes
Here is a list of funny potential energy jokes and even better potential energy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How is potential energy like a potential future? When you fall down a cliff you're getting rid of both.
- In my Science class we were talking about Kinetic and Potential energy. I said outloud "No wonder my mom calls me Kinetic" "Because I have no Potential"
- I am not lazy I just cant convert my potential energy into kinetic energy.
- Why do people in Colorado have more energy than people in Louisiana? Because they are full of potential.
- Let's convert our potential energy into kinetic energy.
- What is potential energy's favourite season? Summer, because it comes before fall
Cheerful Fun Energy Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about energy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean electric jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make energy pranks.
What is love? The energy of life. What is marriage?
The energy bill ...
Bedside Wife
A man was sleeping on his deathbed he woke up to see his wife silently praying beside him.
He says "Martha, I have something to confess to you."
She says "No dear, save your energy."
He says " I must tell you so I may pass on to heaven, I cheated on you."
She says " I know, I poisoned you."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
During s**... im like a high energy photon hitting the Earth's atmosphere...
I come fast and dont p**... very far! ... ayyyyy!
Gatorades competition.
Upon the inception of Gatorade at the University of Florida, and the strides the teams were making on the field, Florida State University *also* tried to make their own energy drink for student athletes.
Unfortunately no one wanted to drink the "*Seminole Fluid*"...
According to 'The Hobbit', Gollum was once a normal man.
The biggest mistake he made was putting on that ring, which drained him of his youth, vitality, and energy.
I got one of those when I was married.
Best science jokes
I need a great list of the dorkiest geekiest nerdiest science jokes ever. Here's one to start you off:
Why was Heisenberg a terrible lover? Because when he had the time, he didn't have the energy. And when he had the energy he didn't have the time
We need to start investing more in solar energy
But it's not just going to happen overnight
If your atoms had no kinect energy you'd be 0K.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you know when a man masturbates he generates 5 BTU of energy..
So if you had 5000 men in a room m**..., it would be extremely gay.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How much energy does it take to create a rap star?
1.21 j**... whats.
What's the hardest part about being a vegan?
finding enough protein to get the energy you need to tell everyone you have ever met that you are a vegan.
Why do Electricians make terrible revolutionaries?
They know resistance is a waste of energy.
A mitochondrian walks into a bar and asks for a cup of energy. The barman says "that'll be ATP"
The newest iPhone 6 Plus has an excellent battery life, thanks to...
...the energy generated by the perpetual motion of Steve Jobs rolling in his grave.
Two scientists are trying to find the best source of energy.
They realise that no one has tried asking the energy sources what *they* think.
So they go to a coal-fired power station, and they ask the coal, "What do you think of coal power?"
The coal says, "Well, I don't really like it, because they set me on fire, and it hurts." The scientists write this down.
Then they go to an oil-fired power station. They ask the oil, "What do you think of oil power?"
The oil says, "Well, I don't really like it, because they set me on fire, and it hurts." The scientists nod and write it down.
Then they go to a wind farm. They ask a wind turbine, "What do you think of wind power?"
The wind turbine just stands there and says, "I'm a huge fan."
A muffin and dough and are having a conversation.
And the muffin says, "Dude, everything is energy man; it's all energy swirling around. Good energy, and bad energy, and it all depends on what energy you tap into. It's like the planets and electrons and stuff; everything is swirling."
The dough replies, "Dude, you're baked."
Heisenberg's wife was unhappy...
because when he had the time, he didn't have the energy, and when he had the position, he didn't have the momentum.
What's does a photon and Donald Trump have in common?
Both full of energy and momentum, both lacking substance.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What type of energy supplement do t**... take?
C4
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You have so much potential
But no kinetic energy, therefore you will never go anywhere in life.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How much energy did h**... use during his reign?
6 million killajews
Today I said to my 7 yr old daughter - there are only two things in the universe mass and energy, do you know what the difference between mass and energy is? She jumped off of her chair and said yes!....
You are mass and I am energy, she said pointing at my belly and laughing...
I think she'll be alright, I have a feeling.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**...: All the energy of c**......
... with none of the teeth!
I asked Santa for a new energy policy...
...but all I got in my stocking was a lump of coal. :-(
"For this entry level position, we're looking for..."
"Someone with the wisdom of a 50-year old
The experience of a 40-year old
The ambition of a 30-year old
The energy of a 20-year old
And who, ideally, is willing to work for free."
Jeb Bush Unanimously Confirmed by Senate
for Secretary of Low Energy.
NASA just reported they have lost contact with Voyager 1 after it crashed into something in the dark abyss of space
Apparently they found my ex's heart, which drains all energy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Mexican lying on his death bed
The sick Mexican was lying on his death bed. He had only hours to live when suddenly he smelled tamales. He loved tamales more than anything else in the world, especially his wife's tamales.
With every last bit of energy left in his body, the sick Mexican pulled himself out of bed, across the floor, down the hall, and into the kitchen. He saw that his wife was removing a fresh batch of tamales from the stove top. As he reached for one of the freshly made tamales, his wife smacked him in with a wooden spoon.
"Leave them alone, c**..., they're for the f**...."
What do you think of wind and solar energy?
I am a big fan, I believe they have a bright future.
I watched a documentary on perpetual energy last night
It went on forever.
What is positive about beeing blonde?
You are allowed to park your car in the disabled spot
(Dont know if it have been done before, no energy to scroll through the endless thread)
Not sure which is the harder part about being vegan
The discipline and focus it takes to eat that way, or the time and energy it takes to tell everyone you're a vegan.
Don't feel bad about pressing the close door button when you see someone running for the elevator.
If they have that much energy, they should take the stairs.
I hear Heisenberg and his wife are having problems
When he has the time, he doesn't have the energy, and when he has the position, he can't get the momentum.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just went to the store and bought a pack of energy saving light bulbs...
As the woman scanned them, she asked, "Will you be putting these up yourself, sir?"
"'Erm, no." I replied. "What kind of sicko do you think I am?"
Never go to a party where a scientist is doing the cooking.
If they're a physicist, everything will come out underdone because they'll have assumed a closed energy system.
If they're a biologist, you'll never actually get to eat anything because they'll insist on first feeding it to the cat, waiting a year, feeding it to your neighbour, and then waiting another year.
And if they're a chemist, they'll follow the recipe perfectly, but insist on doing everything ten times to avoid random error.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Aliens visit, and their first question is: "what's changed in the last 3000 years?"
Aliens: "what's changed in the last 3000 years?"
Humans: "well, we were worshipping cats, drinking beer, and smoking w**...... and then we made it to developing technology that can destroy this entire planet, and pretty soon we'll have unlimited energy from that tech."
Aliens: "Impressive. Good thing you stopped worshipping cats, drinking beer, and smoking w**...."
Humans:
Why was Heisenberg's wife unhappy?
Cause, whenever he had the energy, he didn't have the time.
LPT: Unplug your electronics to conserve energy, except for the fridge and the life support machine:
In those instances, you'd just be wasting vegetables.
I've been reading 'Lord Of The Rings' and apparently, Gollum was once a normal man, but wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life...
Must be the same ring I put on when I got married...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One gallon of gasoline contains roughly the amount of energy required for a human to live 56 years
Therefore, if you c**... two gallons of gasoline you'll never have to eat again!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How did h**... measure his energy usage?
In KillAJews Per Second
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A serial killer plead guilty to h**...
after being asked by the judge why he would kill, the serial killer responded,
"It fills me with energy."
He was charged with m**....
We had a lively debate in physics...
It was a conversation of energy
State of the world right now!
Young People have Energy and Time...But No Money
Adults have Energy and Money...But No Time
Old People have Time and Money... But No Energy
What kind of plant generates the most energy?
A power plant.
Battery salesmen are the best.
They always have the most energy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I once tried to pay for my food at h**... with an energy drink...
Apparently Red Bull doesn't give you wings.
What do you call when a metal shares the negative energy to his non-metal bestfriend?
an ionic bonding moment
If mass and energy are the same thing,
how come the fatter you get, the lazier you become?
I tried to make a belt of Joules...
It was a waste of energy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Karen calls the police due to a b**... in her neighborhood
Karen: Excuse me, there's a black out in my neighborhood!
Police: Call Centerpoint Energy.
Karen: You don't understand, he's still here!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What type of energy h**... runs on?
'Sin'ergy
