Endless Jokes

58 endless jokes and hilarious endless puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about endless that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover endless stories and jokes with Euler's paradox: the seemingly endless possibilities as demonstrated by a void. Explore the limits of mathematics and its ability to create the infinite!

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Funniest Endless Short Jokes

Short endless jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The endless humour may include short infinite jokes also.

  1. Having gay parents must be terrible Either you have twice as many dad jokes or get stuck in an endless loop of "go ask your mother"
  2. I feel bad for children of gay couples. They either suffer twice as many dad jokes or an endless cycle of ask your mother.
  3. Happy Pi Day Me: I dreamed my teacher is making me read out endless values of π.
    Psychiatrist: Is it recurring?
    Me: Not as far as anyone can tell.
  4. What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic do? Stays up at night sleepless, wondering endlessly if there really is a dog.
  5. I feel bad for children of gay parents They either have to deal with twice as many dad jokes, or be stuck in an endless cycle of "go ask your mom"
  6. I wrote a book called Endless Love It's about a tennis match between stevie wonder and Hellen Keller
  7. Why can't the Infiniti car company trademark ∞ ? Because the legal battle would be endless.
  8. DNA is like the menu at Taco Bell Different combinations of the same four ingredients to achieve endless results.
  9. This Christian restaurant is a rip-off I ordered the endless buffet and all they gave me were five loaves of bread and two fish
  10. The worst part of having gay parents The worst part of having gay parents:
    You are either stuck with an endless supply of dadjokes or an endless loop of "Go ask your mom".

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Endless One Liners

Which endless one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with endless? I can suggest the ones about never ending and unlimited.

  1. What do you call a tennis match between helen keller and Stevie Wonder? Endless love
  2. I want to open an all-you-can-eat Italian restaurant… I'd call it Endless Pastabilities.
  3. If you had lesbian parents, You would be in an endless cycle of "Go ask your mother."
  4. What do you call a tennis match between ray charles and Stevie Wonder? Endless love.
  5. What's the definition of endless love? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis
  6. The possibilities are endless, but I just want the good ones.
  7. What do you call an endless line of iPhones? An infinite Siris
  8. Life is like a fidget spinner Just spins endlessly without anything fun happening
  9. What's the definition of Endless Love? Two blind people playing tennis.
  10. How are Jail and Olive Garden Similar? Free Endless Salad Tossing
  11. How does Jesus fall asleep? By counting an endless line of people jumping over hurdles.

Endless joke, How does Jesus fall asleep?

Happy Endless Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends

What funny jokes about endless you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean everlasting jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make endless pranks.

Fred and Susan were having their usual loud...

...and endless argument about family reunions.
At last, Fred relented. "I'm so sorry, Sweetheart. I didn't mean all those hateful things I said about your family. As a matter of fact, I like your mother-in-law a whole lot better than I do mine."

Endless shrimp. a.k.a sir we close at 10:30, you have to leave now

Im going back in the morning and ask to continue

Do you remember when Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder played each other in a tennis match?

It was endless love.

Is this sub Pi?

There seems to be an endless supply of jokes, and I swear it's gonna repeat itself at some point.

We all exist due to a radioactive e**... that formed the universe and with endless posibilities...'re sitting on your computer reading jokes on the internet.

A woman goes to the doctors complaining of stomach cramps...

She gets sent off for some test and comes back a week later.
"Well, I hope you're ready for endless sleepless nights of crying and changing dirty diapers!" the doc says.
"Wow, you mean I'm pregnant?" the woman replies thrilled.
"No, you've got bowel cancer."

What's the difference between Hillary Clinton's email and a black hole

One is an endless void of nothingness, the other is a black hole.

Sometimes I gaze upwards at the endless stars that populate the sky and realize how small I truly am.

I should get one of those pumps.

You might as well shoot for the stars because...

Best case scenario you succeed and are immediately vaporized into nothing. Worst case scenario you miss and fade into the endless void of nothing.

How Jesus managed to give out enough fish and bread to so many people.

Take the fish and the loaf of bread. Cut the ends off. It becomes endless.

I never realized it until today, but the song "Endless Love" by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie is about...

...a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles.

What is positive about beeing blonde?

You are allowed to park your car in the disabled spot
(Dont know if it have been done before, no energy to scroll through the endless thread)

A pastor was giving a sermon on the evils of alcohol.

After endless anecdotes about its evils and dozens of bible passages regarding its sinfulness he concludes quite passionately that if it were up to him he'd dump all the town's booze into the river.
Following this display the organist leads the congregation in a hymn. They sang Shall we gather at the river?

I've spent many nights staring into the seemingly endless abyss...

I wish my wife wouldn't sleep n**...

How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.

There once were two cats - one was named 'one two three' and the other was named 'un deux t**...'...

One day, the two cats came across a wide river. On the other side, there seem to be an endless amount of cat food. So, both of the cats wanted to swim across.
One two three cat made it across, but un deux t**... quatre cinq.

Two men are standing in line in Russia

One says to the other "What is this line for?"
"Toilet paper" his friend replies.
"I'm SICK of these endless lines just to get the basic needs of life! ", he says. "I'm going to go kill Putin."
He leaves, but comes back within a couple of hours. His friend is still standing in line for toilet paper. "Why are you back?", he asks. "Did you kill Putin?"
"No", the man replies, "The line for that was longer than this one!"

How is a cicada like a neckbeard?

They both spend years living underground and when they emerge all you hear is endless whizzing.

Faithful dog for sale

Faithful dog for sale read the add, as such John called up the owner for details.
- Hey, I saw your offer for a good natured dog, I have a couple of questions.
- Shoot.
- He good with kids?
- Very. He's kind and gentle and has endless patience.
- yard dog or house dog?
- House trained but loves the yard as well.
- Cool. Last, is he really faithful?
- Oh yeah, very faithful. This is the fifth time I'm selling him.

I feel sorry for the children of same-s**... couples

You either have to put up with twice the number of Dad jokes, or you're stuck in an endless loop of "Go ask your mother".

Having gay parents must be horrible, let me finish..

You either get twice the number of dad jokes, or you're caught in an endless cycle of "Go ask your mom".

I always eat way too much during Red Lobster's endless shrimp specials.

It's total overkrill.

After endless hours of training, I finally became Spiderman..

I mean, Even I can shoot Spidey-Web, just not from my hands though.

A husband and wife are trying to have a baby

After many attempts and what seems like an endless number of trips to the doctor and fertility clinic they meet with the doctor who tells them, "I do not think you will be able to have children."
The wife is overcome with emotion and her husband consoles her saying, "Inconceivable."
The doctor replies,"I don't think that word means what you think it means."

I realized today that I really only have two options when it comes to a career path.

I'm going to end up in jail or working at Olive Garden. Either way endless salads are getting tossed.

The Egg

I'm utterly opposed to any form of egg cracking on anyone's head and I totally condemn the act of the underage violent vigilante who cracked an egg on senators head. However with that being said what it highlights is the endless distribution and importing of eggs all around the world. Rising fear of egg presence all around Australia and new Zealand. The real cause of what happened today was Australian government allowing to import and to produce eggs in their country in the first place. While today the senator is the victim it doesn't make him the blameless. If you banned eggs in the first place it would have been avoided.

A man on death row is offered a last meal.

He lives an extra several years, dying of exhaustion. He ordered endless breadsticks from Olive Garden

What's the definition of endless love?

Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing a tennis match.

"Time is a construct of man, a means of adding value and structure to a chaotic universe, it serves no real purpose, it's endless and infinite, unfathomable and subjective."

"You're still late" replied my boss.

What's the worst part about having two dads?

Twice the dad jokes.
What's the worst part about having two moms?
Getting stuck in an endless loop of "Go ask your mother."

Endless joke, I want to open an all-you-can-eat Italian restaurant…

jokes about endless