Hilarious Endanger Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friend
People tell me we should be preserving endangered species.
But you offer someone a jar of your pickled panda and they lose their s**....
Horrible joke I made up as a kid
Why are frogs on the endangered species list?
Because they croak a lot!
A man is arrested for killing a condor
A man is arrested for killing an endangered condor. Before the judge, the man says, "Your honor, I only killed the condor to feed my hungry family."
The judge says, "Well, I can't charge a man for feeding his family. And I'm curious so I'll let you off with a warning if you answer one question. What did it taste like?"
The man says, Somewhere between a bald eagle and a baby seal."
Eggs have recently been added to the endangered species list
Due to excessive poaching.
Did you hear about the Asian cuisine chef that dropped a dumpling on the floor?
He was charged with wonton endangerment.
Name two animals that should be endangered but are not!
Donkeys and Elephants
Today i realised that Kung Fu Panda was actually a very progressive movie
Not only is the protagonist such a minority that he is literally an endangered species, he is also portrayed by a Black man
Why are some species of cat always endangered?
Because cheetahs never prosper
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the endangered Mollusk exhibit?
An aquarium employee ran up to the railing and shouted "I'll go get help, don't move a mussel!
s**... and the gang on Family Fortunes
The host goes to Daphne and asks her to name an endangered African animal, she ponders for a second and then a voice in the background goes "Rhino!"
The host says "I know you do s**..., but it's not your go..."
So the Judge says "OK, I see that circumstance and duress made you eat the endangered spotted owl. NOT guilty." Then he leans over and whispers "Between you and me, what does a spotted owl actually taste like?"
The accused says "A cross between a bald eagle and an Amazon Imperial Parrot."
You can explore endanger reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean endanger dad jokes. There are also endanger puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
It's no wonder falcons are an endangered species
They've got an extreme choking problem.
The giant panda is no longer endangered...
It's now extinct
Are black men becoming an endangered species?
No! Endangered species are protected by the law.
-Chris Rock
Last night, I had dinner at one of those illicit restaurants where you can dine on endangered species.
I left there full of egret.
Blue lives matter
There's only 100 smurfs, their an endangered species.
Q: Why don't fat people were turtlenecks?
A: Because turtles are now endangered.
So I Was Going to Kill Myself
But I hear whales are endangered.
What do you call it when all the Chinese places in town start to close?
Wonton endangerment.
What animal is endangered by tooth decay?
Molar bears!
When Katy Perry has the eye of the tiger it's inspiring and motivational
But when I have it all of a sudden I'm endangering animals and have a lifetime ban from the zoo
Snow leopards are no longer endangered
They're extinct
so a Gorilla a Mother and a Child walk into a bar
The Gorilla took a shot, the mum got arrested for child endangerment
Did you hear that anti-vaxxers will receive protection under the Endangered Species Act?
Their offspring is threatened with extinction.
In honor of endangered species, portions of the proceeds from each gilded comment will go to Tempura House...
...a home for battered shrimp.
A panda walks into a bar.
Pandas are now endangered again.
And then there was the male spotted owl who told his wife, "What do you mean you have a headache?
We're an endangered species!"
There is no such thing as an endangered species, they are Chuck's likes and dislikes.
What is the syndrome that endangers the dental well-being of over-anxious or stressed-out LGBT's?
brucism
You better not be gay.
Is only socially acceptable to say to an endangered Siberian Tiger.
I don't understand why rhinos are endangered.
One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost.
For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle. He killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly, a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that moment, and arrested him for killing an endangered species. In court, he pleads innocent to the charges against him, claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation. The judge ruled in his favor. In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it, but what did it taste like?" The man answered, "Well, it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl!"
How do you endanger the fly species?
Slap an African child.
A man is sitting on the bank of a river with a turtle
And an officer from the fisheries board approached him. The officer says to the man "do you know it's i**... to poach turtles out of this river - they're an endangered species"?
The man says to the officer, "no this is my pet turtle. I bring
him down here everyday and let him go for a swim. He swims
across the river and back".
"b**..." the officer replies. So the man places the turtle in the
water and says "watch this". The turtle swims out and the two
men are standing there waiting.
Ten minutes goes past and the officer says "well where's the turtle?".
The man replies - "what turtle"?
Endangered meal
One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle. He killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly, a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that moment, and arrested him for killing an endangered species. In court, he pleads innocent to the charges against him, claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation. The judge ruled in his favor. In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it, but what did it taste like?" The man answered, "Well, it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl!"
