End Of Summer Jokes
12 end of summer jokes and hilarious end of summer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about end of summer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest End Of Summer Short Jokes
Short end of summer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The end of summer humour may include short end of school jokes also.
- Little known fact about me: I was supposed to compete in the 1988 summer Olympics in Seoul... ...but I suffered a Korea ending injury.
- My New Year's Resolution was to lose 30 lbs. by the end of summer I've only got 40 lbs. to go
- Everyone's bummed Summer is ending, but I like the Fall! It's one of my top four favorite seasons.
Share These End Of Summer Jokes With Friends
Cheerful End Of Summer Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about end of summer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spring summer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make end of summer pranks.
Pavlov's birds
An MIT student spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and then walking off the field. At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football team, the referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle, and the game had to be delayed for a half hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field. The guy wrote his thesis on this, and graduated.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIL about a pack of lions that had a massive o**... at the end of last Summer
They were the pride that came before the Fall
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Where do h**... like to hang out during the summer?
The shallow end of the gene pool.
Mr Penguin decides to go to the beach...
...as it is a beautiful hot summer day. He packs up the car and drives to the coast. Just before he gets there, the car sputters and backfires, and the engine starts to smoke. He's able to pull into an auto shop, and the mechanic tells him to come back in about 20 minutes.
Mr Penguin decides to walk around and window shop. He soon finds an ice cream parlor and gleefully orders a cone. Since he has flippers he has a hard time holding the cone, and ends up smearing ice cream all over his beak.
Mr Penguin makes it back to the auto shop and the mechanic says "Well, it looks like you blew a seal."
And Mr Penguin says "Oh no, I just ate some ice cream."
The cursed Prince. This summer's best love story.
Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch.
The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year.
However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he was allowed to speak two words (this was before the time of letter writing or sign language).
One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love.
With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he could look at her and say, "my darling,"
But, at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her. Because of this he waited three more years without speaking (bringing the total number of silent years to 5).
But, at the end of these five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So, he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking.
Finally as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds.
Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said huskily,
"My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?"
And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind a dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said,
"Pardon?"
College money...
There was a kid that went to college, and his Dad sent him enough money for the whole year, well the kid blew through that in the first half of the first semester.
He didn't want to just ask his Dad for more money because he knew he probably wouldn't give it to him.
So he calls his Dad and asks to send their dog, Old Blue with $1000, to the college and he will enroll him in a class that teaches dogs to talk.
The Father thinks that's neat so he sends the dog and the money, and after the end of the first semester, the kid has blown through all that money too.
So he calls his Dad again, and tells him that if he sends $2500 he will enroll Old Blue into a class to teach dogs to read. The Dad thinks this is real cool, so he sends him the money.
At the end of the year the kid knew he couldn't bring Old Blue home with him, because he could not talk nor read.
He called his Dad before summer break, and told him, I had to shoot Old Blue, the Father shocked, You had to shoot Old Blue? Yeah, well he was sitting there reading the Wall Street Journal like he always does, and he looks at me and says, Hey, is your Dad still seeing that red headed broad down the street? The Dad said, You have done the right thing son! You need anymore money?
Credit/Heard this from my Dad who says his preacher told him this one.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Greek and a Scotsman
A Greek and an Scotsman were sitting in a Starbuck's cafe one day discussing who had the superior culture. Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, 'Well, we Greeks built the Parthenon,' arching his eyebrows.
The Scotsman then replies, 'Well... it was the Scots that discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.'
The Greek retorts, 'We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics.'
The Scotsman, nodding in agreement, says, 'Scots were the ones who
built the first timepieces and calendars.
And so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, 'The Greeks were the ones who invented s**...!'
The Scotsman replies, 'Indeed, that is true, but it was we Scots who introduced it to women.'
One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus and drove off along the route:
No problems for the first few stops.
A few people got on, a few got off and things went generally well.
At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on.
Six foot eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground.
He glared at the driver and said. "Big John doesn't pay!" And sat down at the back.
Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek?
Well, he was.
Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it.
The next day the same thing happened...
Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down.
And the next day and the one after that, and so forth.
This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him.
Finally he could stand it no longer.
He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo and all that good stuff.
By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself.
So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said. "Big John doesn't pay!"
The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed. "And why not?"
With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied. "Big John has a bus pass!"
Even though telemarketers are slightly less beloved than dentists and tax auditors, that'
s the job my friend took during his summer vacation.
Halfway through one of his sales pitches, he heard a clicking at the other end of the line.
Thinking the man may have hung up, he asked, "Are you still there?"
"Yeah, still here," said the man.
"Sorry, I heard a click and I thought you'd been disconnected."
"No," the man said, "that would sound more like this."
He then proceeded to show me what it would sound like by slamming down the phone.