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End Of Semester Jokes

8 end of semester jokes and hilarious end of semester puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about end of semester that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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End Of Semester Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good end of semester joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A beautiful female student was in danger of flunking her middle-aged male professor's course

It was near the end of the semester and she came to class in a short skirt and low-cut top. After the other students left the classroom she approached the prof.
"You know, I'd do *anything* to pass this class," she said flirtatiously.
The professor lowered his voice and looked down his bifocals. "Really?" he said, "Anything?"
"Yes," she said seductively. "Anything."
The professor drew near and whispered in her ear. "Would you . . . study?"

I have my end semester exam tomorrow

The joke is that I couldn't get into college

I heard the band Europe wrote a song about the days leading to the end-of-semester exams.

It was the finals countdown.
:D

Only 3 days left...

Until the end of my semester and I'm failing 3 classes

What do you call it when Marvel gives an end-of-the-semester test on items we drink out of?

The Stan Lee Cup Finals

There was once a Jewish boy who was terrible at math

...his parents had tried everything: private tutors, online lessons, and after school programs, to no avail. Finally, they gave in, and sent him to one of the best math-oriented schools in the city, which happened to be Christian.
At the end of the first semester, the boy showed his parents his report card, and they were amazed. He had gotten all A's in everything, even math!
"How'd you do it?" His dad asked him.
"What did that school teach you that made you so good at math?" Inquired his mom.
"Well, when I walked in," the boy responded, "there was a guy nailed to a plus sign, so I knew they meant business!"

Lance Armstrong

I waited a whole semester to tell this joke to a bunch of engineers. My girlfriend at the time was an engineer and we would end up in the lab with friends all the time. Every now and then when they had to do hand drawn plans the conversational topic came up about mechanical pencils and pens and what drew really well, etc etc. So literally in the middle of the conversation I decide to add my two cents.
"Hey guys, you know if you're going to spend a bunch of money on nice pens and pencils you might as well support a charity."
Everyone bought into supporting a charity so on I went.
"Lance Armstrong just bought a pen company, and now all purchases contribute a percentage to support cancer research and the LIVESTRONG foundation."
And then someone asked "Which one?"
To which I replied "Uniball"
Classic.

College money...

There was a kid that went to college, and his Dad sent him enough money for the whole year, well the kid blew through that in the first half of the first semester.
He didn't want to just ask his Dad for more money because he knew he probably wouldn't give it to him.
So he calls his Dad and asks to send their dog, Old Blue with $1000, to the college and he will enroll him in a class that teaches dogs to talk.
The Father thinks that's neat so he sends the dog and the money, and after the end of the first semester, the kid has blown through all that money too.
So he calls his Dad again, and tells him that if he sends $2500 he will enroll Old Blue into a class to teach dogs to read. The Dad thinks this is real cool, so he sends him the money.
At the end of the year the kid knew he couldn't bring Old Blue home with him, because he could not talk nor read.
He called his Dad before summer break, and told him, I had to shoot Old Blue, the Father shocked, You had to shoot Old Blue? Yeah, well he was sitting there reading the Wall Street Journal like he always does, and he looks at me and says, Hey, is your Dad still seeing that red headed broad down the street? The Dad said, You have done the right thing son! You need anymore money?
Credit/Heard this from my Dad who says his preacher told him this one.

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