Encourage Jokes

44 encourage jokes and hilarious encourage puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about encourage that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Encourage Short Jokes

Short encourage jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The encourage humour may include short inspire jokes also.

  1. What do Green eggs and Ham and Fifty Shades of Grey have in common? They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.
  2. My wife gained more than 100 pounds during pregnancy, so I started walking 5 miles every day to encourage her. It's been three months and now I'm over 300 miles away from home.
  3. Have you had to walk 500 miles? Were you encouraged to walk 500 more?
    You could be entitled to compensation
    Call the pro claimers now
  4. I just moved out of my parents house, and they gave me some of their kitchen supplies… They're always encouraging me to take whisks.
  5. U.S. vending machines to begin displaying calorie information to encourage smarter snack choices. Machines' reflective glass surface not doing the trick.
  6. All music classes were banned at my school... They said the classes encouraged too much sax and violins...
  7. My wife just phoned me and said that her car has broken down. I told her to whisper it some words of encouragement.
  8. How do you encourage a bartender? "That's the spirit!"
    How do you discourage a bartender?
  9. My new personal trainer encouraged me to do do fifteen push-ups every commercial break on TV Man... I love Netflix!
  10. How do you encourage a potter while he's glazing his bowl? "Way to go dude, you're kiln it!"

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Encourage One Liners

Which encourage one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with encourage? I can suggest the ones about motivate and urges.

  1. How do trees encourage one another? They say "I'm rooting for you"
  2. How do you get an emo off your balcony? You encourage them
  3. What do you give an apprehensive person with bad breath? An encourage mint.
  4. What did the Hawaiian Jihadist say to encourage himself? Aloha Akbar!
  5. What do you say to give an electrician encouragement? "You conduit!"
  6. Plastic surgeons are the only people that actually . . . encourage you to pick your nose.
  7. What game were children actually encouraged to play in the Soviet Union? ISpy
  8. What do Jedi Knights say to encourage the use of analogies? "Metaphors be with you."
  9. What's the most encouraging calisthenic? Chin-ups!
  10. Why do I keep paying the bills? It just encourages them to send more.
  11. My friends keep encouraging me to give alcohol to my dog Figured I'd give it a shot
  12. What do you call a person who funds and encourages a streetfight? A kickstarter
  13. How do you encourage a bear to eat cheese? C'mon bear!
  14. Do you know what the secret of encouragement is? Of course you don't.
  15. Who do you pat with encouragement when they fail to work? A Remote control

Encourage joke, Who do you pat with encouragement when they fail to work?

Fun-Filled Encourage Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about encourage you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean promoted jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make encourage pranks.

After my joke last week about the Holy Qur'an...

...I had tons of private messages from Muslims on this site. As an apology to them I would like to say this:
"Islam is a religion based on peace, love and respect, and this is the central message of the Qur'an. As such I offer a full apology for making the claim that it encourages s**... b**... and violence."
OK, there - I said it. Now can you please stop sending me death threats?

Good ol'e USA

18: can I buy a bottle of wine?
USA: no that's i**... & irresponsible
18: can I go $50,000 into debt for education?
USA: we encourage it

What's the difference between a Trump rally and a k**... rally?

A k**... rally encourages to wear mask.

Why did the chef add extra oregano to the sauce?

He was making up for lost thyme.
Thank you, thank you. I'll just show myself out now.
*Wow, thanks! I was expecting a much chilier reception, but your warm comments have kept those fears at bay (that's what you get for encouraging me :)*

Blackbeard the pirate sends his son BB Junior to kindergarten

As its the first day, the teachers want to gauge how smart each child is.
"who can sing the Alphabet" enquires the teacher
'Y'arrrr I can" says BB Junior
"Ok BB, go ahead" the teacher encourages
BB stands up full of confidence
"A B C C C C C C C D E F..."
"Stop" the teacher interrupts "thats not right BB there is only one C"
BB looks at her as if she's an idiot
"WRONG" he retorts "THERE ARE *SEVEN C's*"

If Christians want to stop gay s**......

they should encourage gay marriage.

At university, students had to come up with a sentence in which the words "love" and "s**..." both appeared

A female student's composition:
'When two people deeply and passionately love each other, and both reach a high level of mutual respect, then society morally and spiritually encourages that these two people should unite in the ecstasy of physical s**....'
A male student's composition:
'I love s**....'

A zoo's only gorilla dies...

so the zookeeper hires an actor to wear a gorilla costume until the zoo can get another one.
In the gorilla pen the actor makes faces, beats his chest, swings around, and soon draws a huge crowd. Encouraged, he then crawls atop a beam across the lion's enclosure, taunting the animal below. But, in horror, he lost his grip, falling into the lion's cage.
Terrified, the actor shouts, Help! Help me! Too late. The lion pounces, opens its massive jaws, and whispers urgently, Shut up! Do you want to get us both fired?!

A Muslim walks into a bar with a bomb...

He asks the barkeep "why does this bar have a bomb?"
The barkeep replies "don't worry, it's just for decoration. This bar, Paradise, is a wartime-themed bar"
"Well I'll be!" exclaims the Muslim. He takes a seat and orders a v**... Mary, as his religion forbids him from imbibing alcohol, but encourages the enjoyment of virgins in Paradise.

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.

Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.

Guys wife in horrible accident & now in a coma...

...& seems hopeless. However one of the nurses noticed slight movement when sponging her private parts & encouraged the husband to try & arouse her. Try a little o**... s**... is all, you never know. We'll give you privacy. So the husband goes in, but 2 minutes later the wife flat-lines & dies. The nurse runs in & asks what happened.
"I'm not positive, but I think she choked to death!"

A king's chef was sentenced to death, after serving terrible food one too many times...

On the day the sentence was to be carried out, the chef brought one of his cakes and presented it to the headsman, in the hopes it would encourage him to make the death quick and painless.
When the headsman returned home, his wife asked how the proceedings had gone.
"Awful taste but great execution."

Santa and his wife had a messy divorce after they both got colostomies.

After encouragement from friends and family, they both joined the support group for people with colostomies ironically named The Semicolon. Due to the help and support they got, they ended up remarrying.
Two independent Clauses were able to be joined as a result of The Semicolon.

During a water shortage, the government encouraged us to p**... in the shower to save the water from flushing

I now have to shower 3-4 times a day and it's not clear to me how this is helping with the water shortage…

Encourage joke, Plastic surgeons are the only people that actually . . .