Empty Wallet Jokes
8 empty wallet jokes and hilarious empty wallet puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about empty wallet that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Empty Wallet Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good empty wallet joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
My girlfriend is mad because I keep getting free drinks around town by saying I'm engaged
She said "Why is it that every time you say your engaged people congratulate you and buy you a drink, but when I say it they charge me double?"
I told her that when she says it they expect to see a ring but when I say it they expect to see an empty wallet
To the guy that found my empty wallet...
I don't know how to repay you.
Two friends Sam and Terry are spending the day together
As they are walking home down an empty street they find themselves at gunpoint with a mugger asking for their wallets.
As they take out their wallets Sam says "One sec" He takes a 20 out of his wallet and gives it to Terry
"Here's the 20 I owe you"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between Starbucks and a p**...?
Nothing, they both s**... and will empty your wallet!
The good news is that you have enough cash in your wallet to last you for the rest of your life.
The bad news is, your wallet is empty.
Preparations for parenthood.
Not sure you are prepared to be a parent, here are some tips to get you started.
Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a bathrobe and stick a giant beanbag chair down the front and leave it for 9 months. After the 9 months, empty out approximately 10-20% of the beans.
Men: to prepare for paternity, go to your local drug store, dump the contents of your wallet on the counter and give it the pharmacist. Then, go to the supermarket and arrange to have your salary direct-deposit to their headquarters. Go home, pick up the paper and read it for the very last time.
Joke I thought of in bed.
You walk up to your crush and you say [Her name] i know we don't talk much, if at all, and this may be a little forward but here goes...
*takes a deep breath and gets on one knee. Starts to choke up on words*
[Her name]...
*pulls out empty wallet*
Will you money me?
I'm so tired
So this man walks into a bar
And sits down alone, and orders a drink. He empties his glass and the bartender leans over and asks if he would like another. The man opens his wallet and looks at the small photo displayed in the clear sleeve, and after a moment he puts it down and accepts the bartenders offer. This goes on throughout the evening and after his fourth drink he orders one more. The bartender leans to him and says "alright sir, I'll give you another, on the condition that you tell me what that photo is of". The man smirks to himself and says "well, it's a photo of my wife. I always bring it with me when I drink. I know it's time to go home when she starts lookin good"
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