Empties Jokes

What are some Empties jokes?

A game warden catches an unlicensed fisherman in the act.

"You're going to pay a big fine for all those fish in your bucket"

But, officer, I didn't catch these -- they are my pet fish and I just bring them here to swim. When they're done they jump back into the bucket.

"Oh really? This I've got to see. If you can prove it, I'll let you go."

The fisherman empties the bucket into the lake and waits patiently. A few minutes go by and nothing happens.

Game warden: So where are the fish?

Fisherman: What fish?

What's the difference between an Nvidia card and an AMD card?

One empties your pocket.
The other makes Hot Pockets.

So this man walks into a bar

And sits down alone, and orders a drink. He empties his glass and the bartender leans over and asks if he would like another. The man opens his wallet and looks at the small photo displayed in the clear sleeve, and after a moment he puts it down and accepts the bartenders offer. This goes on throughout the evening and after his fourth drink he orders one more. The bartender leans to him and says "alright sir, I'll give you another, on the condition that you tell me what that photo is of". The man smirks to himself and says "well, it's a photo of my wife. I always bring it with me when I drink. I know it's time to go home when she starts lookin good"

Why does Santa have such a large sack?

He only empties it once a year

A man walks into a bar

He walks up to the bartender and asks for 8 shots of Lagavulin.

Bartender lines up the glasses, and as soon as one is filled the man empties it.

The bartender says "Hey this is good scotch, you might want to take a second to enjoy it, yeah?"

"Eh. You'd be drinking like this too if you had what I have."

"I'm sorry to hear that. What's it that you've got?"

"25 cents"

The Vacuum Cleaner Salesman

A door to door vacuum salesman visits a house. When he proposes a deal the woman tells him to take a hike.

Without giving her a second chance the man empties a bucket of cow dung onto to carpet and says "If the vacuum cleaner doesn't suck all of this up then I will eat the rest myself"

The woman goes to the kitchen and returns with a bowl of sugar and throws it over the cow dung and says:
"Start eating so long, we don't have electricity on the farm"

A woman asks a man what his job is

The man tells her that he empties dishwashers for a living
"So you're like a maid?" The woman asks
"No" says the man "I'm a midwife"

What do you call a starship captain who empties space septic tanks?

William Shartner.

How to make Empties jokes?

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