Empire State Building Jokes
42 empire state building jokes and hilarious empire state building puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about empire state building that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Empire State Building Short Jokes
Short empire state building jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The empire state building humour may include short empire jokes also.
- A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building... He yells "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
- Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course the Empire State Building can't jump
- How can a flea jump higher than the Empire State Building? The Empire State Building can't jump.
- I passed the empire state building yesterday What confuses me the most is I didn't feel a thing.
- I can jump higher than the empire state building I rely on the fact that the building can't jump.
- A man falls from the top of the Empire State building. When he hits the ground, a woman walking by screams "oh my God what happened"!!
The man looks up and says "I don't know, I just got here" - What's the difference between your mom and the Empire State Building? Not everyone's been up the Empire State Building
- Why did King Kong.... Climb the Empire State Building?
...He couldn't fit in the elevator. - A man assumed he could fly so he jumped off of the roof of the Empire State Building I guess you could say he jumped to his conclusion.
- How long does it take for a newborn to fall from the empire state building? About 16 seconds
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Empire State Building One Liners
Which empire state building one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with empire state building? I can suggest the ones about tallest building and statue of liberty.
- Why did King Kong climb the Empire State Building? He had a plane to catch
- If Darth Vader lived in America, where would he live? The Empire State Building
- What do you get when you drop an egg off the Empire State Building? New Yolk
- What's gray, and if it gets in your eye, you'll probably die? The Empire State Building
- What's Chinese and climbs the Empire State Building? Ping Pong
- How did the gangster die below the Empire State Building? Someone dropped a dime on him.
Hilarious Fun Empire State Building Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about empire state building you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean new york city jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make empire state building pranks.
Q: Two blondes are standing on top of the Empire State Building.
How can you tell which one is the true blonde and which one is the bleached blonde?
A: The bleached blonde isn't throwing bread crumbs at the helicopters!
King Kong climbed the Empire State Building because Chuck Norris was waiting at the bottom.
Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three guys were standing at the top of the Empire State Building in NYC.
The first guy says to the second, "You know, the wind currents are so strong here in NYC that one could step off the edge of the building and literally float in mid-air due to the upward t**... of the thermal air current."
"No way, man, you’re crazy," said the second guy to the first.
So the first guy steps off the edge of the building and justs floats in mid-air for about 20 seconds and then returns to the roof of the building.
The second guy is simply thrilled and says, "watch me do that" as he steps from the edge roof into the open air.
Of course he falls like a stone straight down all the way to the waiting pavement below–SPLAT!
The third guy, who has remained quiet the entire time, leans over to the first guy and say, "You know something Superman, sometimes you can be a real a*shole!"
Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
A Frenchman, an American and an Indian are on a plane.
The Frenchman says to the stewardess "I can tell what city we are flying over just by sticking my hand out the window!" Of course she doesn't believe him so he say here, watch, and he sticks his hand out the window and proudly tells everyone "We are flying over Paris" Amused the stewardess asks "how could you know that?", well says the Frenchman "I just touched the Eiffel tower"
Not wanting to be shown up, the American boasts that he too can tell where they are, he sticks his hand out the window as says "see here, I knew it, we're actually flying over New York City, I can tell because I just touched the Empire State Building"
By this point the Indian decides that he would like to play along, he looks at the other two and says "let me see if I can tell where we really are" he sticks his hand out the window and pulls it back in. Then he informs everyone "it turns out we are actually flying over New Deli"... the stewardess leans in and asks "How do you know we're flying over New Deli just by sticking your arm out the window" the Indian man replies "My watch is gone"
The American, Frenchman, Norwegian and the Black guy
So there is an American, Frenchman, Norwegian and a Black guy
on top of the Empire state building.
The American pulls out some dollars from his pocket and throws them off the building.
"Why did you do that?" said the others. "Because we have so much money.
So the Frenchman pulls out some wine and throw it off the building.
"Why did you do that?" said the others? "Because we have so much wine."
The norwegian looks over at the black guy.
"Dont you even dare!"
A businessman decides to go on vacation to NY !!!
A businessman decides to go on vacation to NY but he wants to fly cheap.
He goes to the airport and buys a ticket from brothers airlines, and halfway to New York the plane blows out an engine.
The captain lets them know they can make on three engines then a second engine blows out.
Again the captain says they can make it on two engines.
Then a third engine blows and the man starts to panic.
The captain comes on to say: "*We are approaching new harbor, to the right is the Statue of Liberty and to left is the Empire state building and directly below in the life raft is the captain and crew, thanks for flying brothers airlines*."
A blind man decided to kill himself...
Q: When the blind man decided to kill himself by jumping off of the Empire State Building, how did he know when he was just about to hit the ground?
A: The dog quit barking.
3 Presidents are in a Plane
So three presidents are in a plane, an American one, a French one, and a Mexican one. As they were flying, the American president stuck his hand out (one of those windowless planes), and said "hey, were in America!" The French president asks how did he know they were in America, and the American president says, "because when I stuck my hand out, I felt the top of the empire state building." A short while later, the French president sticks his hand out and say "Hey, we are in France!" The Mexican president asks him about how he knew, and the French president said, "when I stuck my hand out I felt the top of the Eiffel tower. A short while later the Mexican president sticks his hand out and says "hey, were in Mexico!" The American president asks him how he knew, and to this the Mexican President replied,"Well, I stuck my hand out and when I pulled it back in, my watch disappeared."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between negligence and falling off of the empire state building?
Nothing if you're a gorilla.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy walks up to a girl in the bar with his fist closed and says........I will go down on you if you can guess what I have in my hand.
The girl says........The empire state building.
The guy says..........That's close enough.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
o**... Bin Laden's son comes home from school crying...
He asks him: "What's wrong son, what happened?"
"The teacher asked the class what the tallest building in New York is, and I got the answer wrong."
"Why, what did you answer?"
"The Empire State Building."
"Don't worry son, daddy will take care of it."
The competition is realy hard among the rubber manufacturers
The british manufacturer says: During the renovation of the Big Ben, a worker fell down from the top of the tower, but his braces hitched into a ledge, so he survived. The british rubber industry is the best.
The american says: That is nothing. When the empire state building was built a worker also fell down, but he could use his chewing-gum to prevent the accident. He sticked the gum to the steel and he survived.
The soviet says: During the renovation of the Kremlyn, a guy fell down from the Saint Nicholas Tower. He died of course, but his rubber boots were intact
Did you hear about the physics student who jumped off the empire state building?
He had so much potential.
Reagan, Gorbachev, and Tito are on a plane
Gorbachev suddenly reaches out the window, and says "We are in Russia!" The other two ask him how he knows. He replies, "I just touched the top of the Kremlin!"
Later, Reagan reaches out the window, and says "We are in the US!" The other two ask how he knows. He replies, "I just touched the top of the Empire State Building!"
Next, Tito reaches out the window, and says "We are in Yugoslavia!" The other two ask how he knows. He replies, "They just stole my watch!"
3 guys worked on top of the empire state building.
They all had the same stuff for lunch every day and they said if they had it again they would jump to their deaths.
The Irish guy had a different meal so he lived.
The German guy had a different meal so he lived.
The polish guy had the same meal so he jumped to his death.
when talking to the wife she said I don't know why he did this. he made his own lunch every day
10 september 2001
The child of Bin Laden comes home grumpy. His dad asks him "what happened?". "Today I got an F in geography class". "And what did she ask you?". "What's the tallest building from New York and I said Empire State Building". "Eh, don't cry over it, I'll take care of that for you."
A man from Texas hears a rumor that everything is bigger in New York, so he decides to take a trip there and dispute the claim.
At the hotel he tells the bellhop about the rumor and his quest to disprove it, since everything is bigger in Texas .
So the bellhop offers to show him around.
First they stop at the Empire State Building. The bellhop asks, Do you have buildings this big in Texas?
The Texan replies, Sure do!
Then they visit the Statue of Libery. Got any statues this big?
The Texan replies, Sure do!
Finally, they visit Niagara Falls. Got anything this big? the bellhop asks.
Nope. the Texan replies, But I have a plumber who can fix that leak for you.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Kids Argue who's dad is tallest!
Three kids showing off whos dad is tallest,
Kid 1 : my dad is as tall as empire state building.
Kid 2 : oh yeah? Well my dad is taller than the sky, even higher than the moon.
Kid 3: oh yeah? Does your dad reach and touch the planets up there?
Kid 2 : yeah of course
Kid 3: those are my dads b**....
