The Best 85 Empire Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Empire jokes. There are some empire nations jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these empire empire state building puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Empire Jokes and Puns

The year is 2219

A dishevelled white haired man crosses the desert that was once the English Channel from the United Kingdom of England to visit the capital of the Eurasian Empire in Brussels. As has been the case for 200 years, he delivers an unsigned letter and returns home, only to repeat the process again the next year. The true meaning of the ritual is lost in the annals of history but many believe it goes back to the days of a mythical quest they called Brexit.

A Greek and an Italian are arguing over whose culture is superior.

he Greek says "We built the Parthenon." the Italian says "We build the Colosseum." The Greek says "We came up with advanced Mathematics" The Italian says "We made the Roman Empire." The Greek is getting frustrated finally realizes how he can win the argument. "We invented sex." The Italian replies "True, true, I can't argue with that, but we thought of having it with women."

can someone explain this ancient Roman joke

Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: 'Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?' 'No, your Highness,' he replied, 'but my father was.'

Empire joke, can someone explain this ancient Roman joke

The Galactic Empire, after the destruction of the Death Star, has taken to bowling during the interim.

The Empire Strikes Back, they call it.

A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building...

He yells "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"


A Greek and a Roman are arguing about who has the superior culture.

The Greek says "We built the Parthenon". The Roman says "Ah, but we built the Colosseum". The Greek responds "We invented democracy" and the Roman says "Yes, but we founded the great Roman Empire". Finally, the Greek says "We invented sex". The Roman replies "That's true, but we're the ones who thought of having it with women."

Where does the Empire buy their robes?

The Darth Mall!

Empire joke, Where does the Empire buy their robes?

A blind man decided to kill himself...

Q: When the blind man decided to kill himself by jumping off of the Empire State Building, how did he know when he was just about to hit the ground?

A: The dog quit barking.

Why doesn't the Empire hire better pilots?

Their assets are tied

Why did King Kong....

Climb the Empire State Building?

...He couldn't fit in the elevator.

This may be controversial to most people, but i feel it must be said. I FULLY support flying the rebel flag.

How else are we supposed to show our support and remembrance of the battle of Hoth, and our willingness to topple the empire and bring peace to the galaxy?

You can explore empire overlord reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean empire dynasty dad jokes. There are also empire puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Where do Turkish people go to purchase their furniture?

The Ottoman Empire.

Why does the sun never set on the British Empire?

Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!

Julius Caeser and Alexander the Great are in a bathroom together

They are both going pee in two urinals right next to each other. Alexander the Great leans over the divider looks at Caeser and says "My empire is bigger than yours"

Meanwhile, in an alternate universe where the Nazi's empire reaches to all four corners of the universe...

They've become a Reichtangle.

How long does it take for a newborn to fall from the empire state building?

About 16 seconds

Empire joke, How long does it take for a newborn to fall from the empire state building?

Why does the Empire use Apple?

Because they couldn't find the droid they were looking for

What do you call the website Chewbacca started that gives out Empire secrets?

Wookieeleaks

I guess you could say Luke Skywalker single-handedly defeated the empire.

I told this joke to someone in a dream, and when I woke up I realized it was actually funny.


Empire Strikes Back is still my favorite StarWars episode.

One could say it is a perfect 5/7.

Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie?

It's a perfect 5/7.

How was the Roman Empire cut in half?

With a pair of caesars.

What did 18 Year olds in the Byzantine Empire do for fun?

Nothing they were busy teens.

What do you get when you drop an egg off the Empire State Building?

New Yolk

Did you hear about the Chinese brother's that tried to start a German Empire?

Turns out two Wongs don't make a Reich.

A guy walks up to a girl in the bar with his fist closed and says........I will go down on you if you can guess what I have in my hand.

The girl says........The empire state building.

The guy says..........That's close enough.

Osama Bin Laden's son comes home from school crying...

He asks him: "What's wrong son, what happened?"

"The teacher asked the class what the tallest building in New York is, and I got the answer wrong."

"Why, what did you answer?"

"The Empire State Building."

"Don't worry son, daddy will take care of it."

9/11, Perfect day to make an insensitive repost

Osama bin Laden's son came home from school crying. Osama asked, "why are you crying my son".

His son replied, "today our teacher asked us what the tallest building in America is. I said it's the Empire State Building and the whole class laughed at me."

"Don't worry son, I'll handle this."

How did Diocletian cut the Roman Empire into 2 empires?

By using Caesars.

What's the difference between your mom and the Empire State Building?

Not everyone's been up the Empire State Building

The invention of sex

A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture.

The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon"
The Italian says, "We have the Colosseum"
The Greek says "We had great Mathematicians"
The Italian says "We had the Roman Empire" and so on and so on and
Then Greek Says: "We invented sex" The Italian says:"That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women"

Donald Trump has a new plan for solving the conflict of interest of him owning his business empire and being President

He's going to put America into a blind trust.

The leg rests have taken over!

Fear the Ottoman Empire!

Why did the Sultan leave his job at Mattress City?

He was already a manager at Ottoman Empire

What do you call a war between india and the UK?

The empire strikes back.

Realizing that the AT-AT doesn't have enough armor around the back, the Empire released a new batch with increased armor...

and called them the PHAT-ATs

What do you call a German empire with lots of hair?

The Furred Reich

How do you cut the Roman Empire in half?

Use Caesers

What's a police officer's favorite Star Wars movie?

The Empire Strikes Blacks

What's gray, and if it gets in your eye, you'll probably die?

The Empire State Building

What caused the fall of the Roman Empire?

The Earth's tilt.

We used to have empires ruled by emperors, kingdoms ruled by kings and sultanates ruled by sultans.

Now we have countries....

Today in the UK we celebrate the 4th of July.

The day the average IQ of the British Empire jumped 100 points with a single signature.

When England had an Emperor, it was an Empire; when it had a King, it was a Kingdom; now they have Theresa May...

...and it is a Country.

When the Empire Strikes Back was being filmed, they considered getting rid of James Earl Jones and bringing in Hulk Hogan instead to be Darth Vader.

But they quickly decided not to when they realized the line "No Luke, I am your father, brother!" Was way too confusing.

Osama bin laden's son came back home from school one day in tears.

Osama asked: "What's wrong?"

His son said: "Our teacher asked me what the tallest building in new york is, and I got it wrong."

Osama replied: "What did you say?"

His son: "The empire state building."

Osama: "Don't worry son, i'll take care of it."

What's the difference between an umpire and an empire?

An umpire gives three strikes, but an Empire Strikes Back.

What did the Roman empire say to the city that wouldn't listen?

I thought we razed you better than this!

What is another name for the Austro-Hungarian empire?

Frankenreich

A man assumed he could fly so he jumped off of the roof of the Empire State Building

I guess you could say he jumped to his conclusion.

What do Queen Victoria's empire and people with innie bellybuttons have in common?

Navel superiority.

Who lead the Chinese empire into the Wi-Fi age

Emperor Ping

Why did King Kong climb the Empire State Building?

He had a plane to catch

What's the most comfortable empire?

The Ottoman Empire.

And much like that one, I'll see myself out now.

Did you know 1 in 200 men are directly descended from the leader of the Mongol Empire?

I was shocked too, but it made a lot more sense once I realized that back then there were no Genghis condoms.

A physicist goes to the top of the empire state building and sees a man about to leap to his death

He runs up to him and says, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

Relieved, the man climbs off the edge and follows the physicist down to the street. The physicist then looks at him again and says: "ah... Never mind".

A man falls from the top of the Empire State building.

When he hits the ground, a woman walking by screams "oh my God what happened"!!

The man looks up and says "I don't know, I just got here"

British food, British weather and British culture.

And thus a great colonial empire of sailors was born.

3 guys worked on top of the empire state building.

They all had the same stuff for lunch every day and they said if they had it again they would jump to their deaths.

The Irish guy had a different meal so he lived.

The German guy had a different meal so he lived.

The polish guy had the same meal so he jumped to his death.

when talking to the wife she said I don't know why he did this. he made his own lunch every day

If an anime was based around the Ottoman Empire...

It would be a literal Harem anime.

What's the opposite of "The Empire strikes back"?

The Emperor has a stroke.

Did you hear that a bunch of mechanics started an uprising and overthrew the government?

they called it the "Automan" Empire.

A poem about British history

First we were a kingdom, and we had a king.

Then we were an empire, and we had an empress

Now we are a country, and we have Nigel Farage.

Trump meets the Queen

So Donald asks the Queen how you get to be king or a duke or other Royalty.

Queen:' Look Donald, an Emperor rules an Empire, a king rules a kingdom, a prince ruled a principality, a duke rules a duchy and so on'
Donald:' I rule the USA, what does that make me'
Queen: that's a country, that makes you a ....

10 september 2001

The child of Bin Laden comes home grumpy. His dad asks him "what happened?". "Today I got an F in geography class". "And what did she ask you?". "What's the tallest building from New York and I said Empire State Building". "Eh, don't cry over it, I'll take care of that for you."

An Irish boy asks his father: "Da, why did the Sun never set on the English empire?"

The latter promptly responded: "Well son, that's because God would never trust the English in the dark!"

Did you hear about the arabian body builder who built a business empire?

They called him the protein sheikh

I can jump higher than the empire state building

I rely on the fact that the building can't jump.

We used to have empires run by emperors, then we had kingdoms run by kings..

Now we have countries..

How can you tell Jesus was Irish?

He lived at home until he was in his thirties, he thought his mother was a virgin, he was an unemployed carpenter who got into trouble with the Empire, his last night on Earth was spent out drinking with his mates, and his last request was a drink.

Turns out the racist attack on the actor from empire was total bullsh**

I could smollett from a mile away.

The Greatest Sex Culture . . .

A Greek and an Italian were talking one day, discussing who had the superior culture.

Over coffee, the Greek says, "Well, we built the Parthenon."

The Italian replies, "We built the Coliseum.

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to mathematics."

The Italian, nodding, says, "But we built the Roman Empire ".

And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.

With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"

The Italian replies, "That may be true, but it was the Italians who included women."

Darth Vader built an entire Galactic Empire...

Wearing protective gear in sanitary environment.

But it was all destroyed by a whiny brat without a mask who refused to stay home with his aunt and uncle.

An ancient "your mom" joke, from Ancient Rome, between 63 BC to 14 AD .

"The Emperor Augustus was touring the Empire, when he noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself.

"Intrigued he asked: 'Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?'

"'No your Highness,' he replied, 'but my father was.'"

Kids Argue who's dad is tallest!

Three kids showing off whos dad is tallest,

Kid 1 : my dad is as tall as empire state building.

Kid 2 : oh yeah? Well my dad is taller than the sky, even higher than the moon.

Kid 3: oh yeah? Does your dad reach and touch the planets up there?

Kid 2 : yeah of course

Kid 3: those are my dads balls.

we used to have empires run by emperor's, and kingdoms run by kings,

now we have countries...

How did the Mongol empire become so large?

One steppe at a time

64AD: Nero bans the practice of christianity through the roman empire

christians: i can't believe this

romans: correct

Where did Luke Skywalker go shopping between Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi?

Second Hand Store

A man joins a big corporate empire as a trainee.

On his very first day of work, he dials the pantry and shouts into the phone, "Get me a coffee, quickly!"The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?""No," replied the trainee."It's the CEO of the company, you fool!"The trainee shouts back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?!""No," replied the CEO indignantly."Good!" replied the trainee, and slams down the phone.

If Darth Vader lived in America, where would he live?

The Empire State Building

Why sun never set on British empire?

Because even the God couldn't trust the British in the dark.

I'm going to be a furniture store entrepreneur one day.

My first store will be called "Sofa Kingdom".

My second store will be called "Ottoman Empire."

Then people will say "That's Sofa Kingdom also."

Why did the sun never set on the British Empire?

Because God did not trust the British in the dark.

If Nero, Tiberius, Caligula, and Commodus were all in Pompeii together, who would survive?

The Roman empire.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the empire dynasties jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working empire caesar piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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