Emphasize Jokes
8 emphasize jokes and hilarious emphasize puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about emphasize that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Emphasize Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good emphasize joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
When I was young, my father emphasized every day how important it was to wear a c**... if I ever had s**....
He said, Any person willing to have s**... with you will sleep with almost anyone else.
When I was young my dad really emphasized how important it would be to use a c**... if I ever had s**... with a girl.
I asked him why.
"Because, son," he said, "any girl that would sleep with you would sleep with anyone."
An old actor has trouble getting work due to failing memory...
After contacting many people that he worked with in the past , he is finally able to land a job in a popular new Broadway play. The director tells him its only one line at the beginning of the play, but it is a very important line. It sets the mood for the rest of the play. It is ESSENTIAL he nails the line. The old actor emphasizes that he will nail it. The director reluctantly agrees and proceeds to tell him his role. You will take a beautiful rose, bring it to your nose and take a deep breath and say the following line: *Ah, the sweet scent of my mistress…* That's it. Do not screw this up! The old actor thanks him 10 times over and proceeds to practice for the next 2 weeks nonstop.
Opening night comes. It's a sold out theater. He takes to the stage, spotlight on him. He raises his hand, takes a deep breath and says the line perfectly * Ah, the sweet scent of my mistress… * Just after the line is delivered the auditorium burst into laughter. He walks off the stage distraught. I don't get it. I nailed the line perfectly. What happened? The director looks at him and yells YOU IDIOT! YOU FORGOT THE FLOWER!
You can tell if a guy is gay or straight by
You can tell if a guy is gay or straight by how he emphasizes in the phrase:
"One man's junk is another man's treasure"
Coin flip
Heads, I win. Tails, you lose.
Gotta say it real fast right before you flip the coin. Emphasize heads and tails, de-emphasize win and lose, to anoint that it's easy to dismiss.
Look it's Summer now and I'd like to emphasize how dangerous it is to leave your dogs inside the your cars...
Speaking from a personal experience I did it once and lost my job as a police officer.
I cannot emphasize enough the importance of being your most entertaining self at celebratory social gatherings.
You must be fun at parties.
A college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to the class
He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing the class, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late. Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family.
A prankster student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and spoke up, "But what about extreme s**... exhaustion, professor?"
As you would expect the class exploded in laughter.
When the students had finally settled down, the professor froze the young man with a glaring look.
"Well," he responded, "I guess you'll have to learn how to write with your other hand then..."
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