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Emperor Jokes

89 emperor jokes and hilarious emperor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about emperor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Check out these hilarious emperor jokes! From Emperor Palpatine to the Roman emperors and Emperor Penguins, these jokes are sure to bring a lightheartedness to your day. Discover the wit behind various dynasties and why a lightsaber can't replace a crown.

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Funniest Emperor Short Jokes

Short emperor jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The emperor humour may include short empire jokes also.

  1. We used to have empires run by emperors, then we had kingdoms run by king.. Now we have countries..
  2. We used to have empires ruled by emperors, kingdoms ruled by kings and sultanates ruled by sultans. Now we have countries....
  3. When England had an Emperor, it was an Empire; when it had a King, it was a Kingdom; now they have Theresa May... ...and it is a Country.
  4. In the past, empires were ruled by emperors, then kingdoms were ruled by kings. Now we have countries.
  5. There used to be great empires, ruled by Emperors, then there were Kingdoms ruled by Kings... Now all we have is a bunch of countries....
  6. What do you call a person whose wife was the Queen, daughter is a Princess and his boss is the Emperor, but he himself is no royal? Darth Vader.
  7. In the early days, we had Kingdoms run by Kings. And Empires run by Emperors.
    Now we have Countries run by...
  8. we used to have empires run by emperor's, and kingdoms run by kings, now we have countries...
  9. Emperor Augustus throws down his pen in disgust... Emperor Augustus throws down his pen in disgust, exclaiming:
    "I can't believe it's February and I'm still writing B.C. on all of my checks!"
  10. First we lived in kingdoms run by Kings, then Empires run by Emperors Now we live in Countries...

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Emperor One Liners

Which emperor one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with emperor? I can suggest the ones about dictator and imperial.

  1. Do you know about the Roman emperor who had epilepsy? It was Julius Seizure.
  2. What do you call a Roman Emperor, without his epileptic pills? Julius Seizure
  3. What do you call it when a Russian emperor uses irony to mock someone? Tsarcasm
  4. Who played Annakin Skywalker in the Star Wars prequels? Emperor Palpatine
  5. What do you call an epileptic emperor? Julius Seizure
  6. What Star Wars charactor likes orange juice the most? Emperor Pulpatine
  7. How does a Roman Emperor divide his empire? He uses his Caesars.
  8. What's a Russian emperors favorite fish? *CZAR-DINES*
  9. What do you call a Roman emperor with bad allergies? Julias Snaesar
  10. Why did Emperor Palpatine have so much trouble walking around? He had Darth Ritis
  11. What did Vader say after he kills the Emperor? Why so... Sidious
  12. How did Russian emperors pay for their coffee? Tsarbucks
  13. What do you call an emperor who's also a musician? A rock-czar
  14. What's Emperor Palpetine's favourite cheese? GOOOOOOOOOOOOOUDA
  15. Who lead the Chinese empire into the Wi-Fi age Emperor Ping

Roman Emperor Jokes

Here is a list of funny roman emperor jokes and even better roman emperor puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • It is said that Roman Emperor Caligula made his horse a senator. Nothing was ever passed, he always voted neigh.
  • When the Romans landed in Britain... When the Romans landed in Britain,
    The weather proved a teaser!
    The emperor asked "Could this be rain?",
    But the answer was "hail, Caesar"
  • What did the ancient Roman weatherman say when his emperor asked for a forecast? "Hail, Caesar"
  • A Roman Emperor orders his guards to arrest his wife. He orders them to Ceas'er.
  • Roman Emperor Caligula actually made his favorite horse a senator. Guy didn't pass a single motion.
  • What Roman emperor suffered from head pains? Julius Seizure
  • There's a book about how the Roman Emperor Augustus was really buff and into weightlifting... It's called *The Guns of Augustus*
  • What do you call a epileptic roman emperor? Just had a Seizure.
    (too those who dont get it read it out loud quickly)
  • What did the roman meteorologist say to his emperor about tomorrow's weather? Hail, Caesar
  • What did the holy Roman emperor do when he wanted to lose weight He went on an imperial diet

Emperor Palpatine Jokes

Here is a list of funny emperor palpatine jokes and even better emperor palpatine puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • In tonight's debate Trump said we can't trust the rebels I'm not surprised; he has always reminded me of Emperor Palpatine.
  • What's Emperor Palpatine's favorite kind of cheese? "Gouda, gouda..."
  • What was Emperor Palpatine's favourite type of cheese? Gooooouda...
    (This joke only makes sense depending on how you pronounce Gouda)
  • Emperor Palpatine decides to endorse Mountain Dew and appears on an advertisement DEW IT
  • Mike Pence is Emperor Palpatine Both are old men, heads of the Senate, and like to shock people.
  • What did the feminist Jedi say to Emperor Palpatine? Check your privilege, sithlord
  • What does Emperor Palpatine use to get around in his declining years? An imperial walker
  • What is Emperor Palpatine's favourite drink? Mountain Dew it!
  • What do you call a teenage Monarch who is your friend and father? Emperor Pal-pa-tine.
  • Why did the Pope resign? He was asked to play Emperor Palpatine in Star Wars VII
Emperor joke, Why did the Pope resign?

Emperor Penguin Jokes

Here is a list of funny emperor penguin jokes and even better emperor penguin puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The emperor penguin mates at temperatures as low as -120 degrees F. He is a frigid midget with a rigid digit.
Emperor joke, The emperor penguin mates at temperatures as low as -120 degrees F.

Silly Emperor Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about emperor you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pharaoh jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make emperor pranks.

A cut above the rest

Once upon a time a powerful emperor of the rising sun advertised for a new chief samurai. Three men applied, A Japanese samurai, A Chinese swordsman And a Jewish samurai. The three met with the emperor to see who would get the job. "Japanese Samurai Show me your skill", the Japanese samurai stepped forward and released a fly from a box and the Japanese samurai cut the fly in two. "very impressive" said the emperor. "Chinese Swordsman Show me your stuff", the Chinese man stepped forth and released a fly from its box and with two swings of his swords cut the fly neatly into Quarters. "A marvelous feat" the Chinese swordsman was pleased. "How are you going to top that Jewish samurai?" The Jewish Samurai stepped forth and released his fly from a box, and with a mighty blow swepped his sword through the air and the fly continued to fly about. "what kind of skill is that? the fly isn't dead" the emperor laughed. "dead is easy" the Jewish samurai replied "Circumcision... now that takes skill".

The Chinese emperor went out on a guys night.

It was the man-date of heaven.

A friend of mine is really set on becoming the first emperor of Asia, He's pursuing a PhD in English Literature...

When I asked him why chose English Literature he said he wanted to be "a great reader".

Why did Vader deceive everyone about his love affair with the Emperor?

Because he was in Sidious.

How are two gay guys who are perfect for each other similar to an Ancient Chinese Emperor?

They both had a mandate from heaven.

Why did Vader (Anakin) finally rebelled against the Emperor?

In Episode 3, he helped carry out Order 66 to kill all Jedi.
In Episode 4, he helped carry out Order 67 to destroy Alderaan.
In Episode 5, he helped carry out Order 68 to destroy rebel base on Hoth.
In Episode 6.... the Emperor was just too old and n**... for Vader to carry out Order 69.

A Space Marine walks into a bar.

He says to the grizzled, portly barkeeper, "Bring me two beers." Seeing that he is alone, the barkeep asks him 'Why two?' The Space Marine chuckles and replies, "Simple, my friend. One for me, and one FOR THE EMPEROR!"

What was the worst thing about finally getting my pilot googles at the end of pilot training?

Emperor Hirohito handed them to me...

Do you know exactly what Darth Vader did at the end of Star Wars...

He Overthrew the Emperor

There once was an emperor who ruled over a massive territory.

When he came in to power he passed many strange laws. The first law he passed was that in every sentence that you use the word "or" you must also have an "M" in that same sentence.
The people of his domain could do nothing to oppose this outrageous law because it was the
"M per Ors" decree.

Why was the emperor of Japan crying?

He stubbed his hirohitoe

Two generals are going to a meeting with the emperor..

General 1: "What's the penalty for being late to meet the Emperor?"
General 2: "Death. He's a stickler for that stuff, you know that!"
1: "And what's the penalty for starting a rebellion?"
2: "Come on man, it's death. Obviously. Why do you ask?"
1: "Well, we're late..."

Marcus Aurelius was a Roman Emperor, a very smart man and ahead of his time.

A strict disciplinarian he hated when his soldiers drank on the job but had no way of policing it. Until he realised that the offending soldiers would urinate much more than the sober ones. So he started to measure the output of the soldiers. Do you know what he used to measure it?
Roman Urinals

As emperor of Ethiopia, how would you rate yourself?

A. Not at all Selassie
B. Somewhat Selassie
C. Moderately Selassie
D. Highly Selassie

What's the opposite of "The Empire strikes back"?

The Emperor has a s**....

Trump meets the Queen

So Donald asks the Queen how you get to be king or a duke or other Royalty.
Queen:' Look Donald, an Emperor rules an Empire, a king rules a kingdom, a prince ruled a principality, a duke rules a duchy and so on'
Donald:' I rule the USA, what does that make me'
Queen: that's a country, that makes you a ....

Which Roman emperor loved planes the most?

Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeroooo.
 
So I hit my coworkers with this one at work today, and they hated it. Never heard it before so not sure if someone else made it up first, but I'm sure you good peoples would know.

Who was the most skeptical emperor of all time?

Marcus O RLY?'s.

An ancient "your mom" joke, from Ancient Rome, between 63 BC to 14 AD .

"The Emperor Augustus was touring the Empire, when he noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself.
"Intrigued he asked: 'Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?'
"'No your Highness,' he replied, 'but my father was.'"

The Emperor Nero was struggling with deciding his gender.

He spent months waffling back and forth until finally in July of AD 64 he decided to make his decision public.
Everything in Rome was fine until that gender reveal party.

What did Anakin Skywalker get after being b**... by the Emperor?

Siithylis.

A s**... donor, a carpenter and Mehmed II, Ottoman Emperor are in a room. Julius Caesar walks in the room. What did he say?

"Veni, vidi, vici."

A 'your mom' joke, from around year zero, ancient Rome:

"The Emperor Augustus was touring the Empire, when he noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself.
"Intrigued he asked: 'Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?'
"'No your Highness,' he replied, 'but my father was.'"
(I recently found my purpose in life and now I need to learn all about comedy, I thought I should start with history, this joke was unearthed by a group of historians from the UK, thought I'd share it here).

Emperor joke, Why did Emperor Palpatine have so much trouble walking around?

jokes about emperor