Eminem Jokes
110 eminem jokes and hilarious eminem puns to laugh out loud. Read celebrity jokes about eminem that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Eminem Short Jokes
Short eminem jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The eminem humour may include short wrapper jokes also.
- A guy walks into a bar owned by Eminem He tells the bartender,"Give me 2 shots of..."
The bartender cuts him off saying,"You only get 1 shot." - Person 1 says: I like Eminem Person 2 says: Well, I prefer Skittles.
Person 1 says: No- I meant the rapper.
Person 2 says, confused: Why would you eat the wrapper? - I have a Spotify playlist that has songs from The Peanuts Movie, Eminem, and The Cranberries I call it my trail mix.
- I heard they're not letting Eminem get fully vaccinated. They told him "you only get one shot."
- I have a playlist of songs from Eminem, The Cranberies, and The Peanuts. I call it my Trail Mix.
- I saw a clickbait article: "Watch Eminem attack Trump like no President has ever been attacked." I mean... Kennedy was shot in the head... But ok.
- Eminem's "8 Mile" wasn't very well received in Canada I guess the title "12.8748 Kilometer" just isn't as catchy.
- A guy walks into a bar owned by Eminem, He asked for two shots of…
He was cut off by the bartender saying: you only get one shot. - Johnson & Johnson have hired Eminem as a celebrity spokesperson for their COVID vaccine. Because you only get one shot.
- Trail mix dad joke I made a playlist of songs from Eminem, The Cranberries, California Raisins, Red Hot chili Peppers, Spice Girls, and the Peanuts.
I call it my Trail Mix.
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Eminem One Liners
Which eminem one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with eminem? I can suggest the ones about playlist and singer.
- Why did Eminem kneel at the half time show? His knees were weak, and arms were heavy.
- EMINEM: his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy WEB MD: Cancer.
- Eminem has started a vaccine company You only get one shot
- Eminem isn't allowed to get the full COVID vaccine He only gets one shot
- Are Christian's allowed to sing Eminem in church? Or do their Psalms get sweaty?
- Why does Eminem prefer the Johnson & Johnson vaccine? You only get one shot…
- What did Eminem say when 50cent gave him a sweater? Gee, you knit?
- I'm just glad Eminem will never be a mass shooter He only gets one shot
- What did Eminem learn to defend himself? Marshall arts.
- If Eminem did karate... His next album would be Marshall Arts
- If Eminem were gay... Would he be called Skittles?
- Why does Eminem serve weak coffee? You only get one shot.
- Why did Eminem get COVID? Cause he got only one shot…
- What was 50 Cents called after he gave his opinion of Eminem? 48 Cents.
- What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in? ♪ *Shady's back* ♪
Eminem Slim Jokes
Here is a list of funny eminem slim jokes and even better eminem slim puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What would happen if Eminem lost weight and started doing questionable things? He'd be the real Slim Shady.
- Did you hear about when Eminem married an Indian woman? They had a Slim Shaadi
- How do you qualify a slim and seemingly shady argument? It's an ad eminem.
- What does Eminem call his window blinds? Slim Shad-Es
- Eminem was asked what the chances were of him playing some old tracks on his latest tour. He said it was pretty slim.
- If Eminem lost weight and started wearing sunglasses... he'd be The Real Slim Shady
- If Eminem and Biggie Smalls had a child, what would he be called? Thick "Not so Slim" Shady
- What will we call Eminem if he gets arthritis? Slim Shaky.
Playful Eminem Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about eminem you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gangsta jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make eminem pranks.
I have ranked the greatest musicians of all time in order:
Nelly
Erika Badu
Vanilla Ice
Eminem
Rhianna
Green Day
Oasis
Nirvana
Nine inch Nails
Aerosmith
George Strait
Ilene Woods
Vince Gill
Enya
Yoko ono
Otis Redding
U2
Uncle Kracker
Pappa Roach
It is okay if you disagree just let me know, but first read the first letter of each line only.
Am I right?
Everyone: Eminem is the fastest rapper.
Me listening to the socially awkward kid present in class
What do John Wick and Eminem have in common?
They both kill people with a pencil.
Why did taco bell hire Eminem?
Because he's a Wrap God
Made a hiking playlist earlier called trail mix
It has a lot of eminem in it
Eminem said his best ideas were the ones he hadn't told anyone yet
He called them his freshest ideas because they were still in the rapper.
Why did Bin Laden listen to Eminem?
He was an Afghani-Stan.
Why did the Latino Eminem fail in the music business?
Because he had no compaDREs.
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There's v**... on his sweater already...
Woman: Did you just quote Eminem?
Doctor: Your husband's alcohol poisoning is not a joke, madam!
So a guy walks into a bar where Eminem is the bartender
Guy: Two shots please
Eminem: You only get one shot
The government forcibly took over MarshallMathers.com
They cited Eminem domain
Eminem needs to release an aftershave and shower gel gift set for Christmas
Eminessence and Marshal Lathers.
I hate when people compare Eminem to God
I mean, he's great and all, but he's no Eminem.
What is Eminem made of?
He is made of Mathers
rumour has it Eminem has converted to Islam.
From now on, he will call himself "Muslim Shady."
Is it true that..
Reporter : is that true that God sent Lil Wayne to teach ppl how to rap ?
Eminem : I don't remember sending anyone.
What did 50 cent say to Eminem...
After Eminem made him a sweater for Christmas?
Gee, you knit?
Most people would say that Eminem, Jay-Z, or Andre 3000 spit the hardest on the mic...
I personally think it was mia Khalifa.
*Eminem walks into a bar with his daughter*
Daughter : Two shots, please.
Eminem : You only get one shot!
What do you get when you cross Eminem with a slug?
Slime Shady.
What do you get when you cross Eminem with a green onion?
A rapscallion.
If I could nominate just one person to NEVER be my bartender, it would be Eminem
He insists 'you only get one shot'.
Like I'm gonna get drunk off of one shot.. pffft
Woman: I need a couple balloons of Eminem for my sons birthday, it's in an hour.
Worker: so you're telling me... I only got one shot?
Does Eminem always have to spit on my onion rings?
It always ends up tasting like spaghetti.
Did you hear that Eminem was opening a noodle restaurant in Tokyo?
He *is* very good at ramen.
A kid is dying at a hospital and wanta to meet eminem.
The nurse then says
"He's pretty busy but you are going to meet Tupac real soon."
Eminem has decided to convert to Islam.
He's now known as Muslim Shady.
Did you hear that Nightblue3 and Eminem played League of Legends together yesterday?
Eminem got one shot
If someone draws pictures of Eminem for a living.
Are they a professional martial artist?
What do you call a group of crazy Eminem fans from South Asia?
A Pakistans
Eminem, 50 Cent and Andre from Outkast get together to produce a new single.
50 Cent says, 'I'll make the beat.'
Eminem says, 'I'll release it on my label and deal with the promo.'
Andre says, 'I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write'
I heard someone pants-ed Eminem during one of his shows...
He was Em-bare-assed.
What type of onion would Eminem be?
A Rap-Scallion
I made a playlist for hiking...
It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem.
I call it my Trail Mix..
What starts with an E and rhymes with fifty?
Eminem
I just bought tickets to see Eminem, Fifty Cent and 2Pac in concert
Only kidding. 2Pac is dead.
But I did just buy 2 packets of m&m's for 50 cents
Homer Simpson walks into his favorite bar now owned by Eminem....
He tells Moe, "Give me two shots of-"
Moe replied with, "Sorry, Homer, you only get one shot"
What is it called when a rapper takes your rap career for the public good?
Eminem Domain
Eminem Coronavirus joke
Apparently, Eminem is rumored to be diagnosed with Coronavirus
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. He presented with v**... on his sweater already. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti
If Eminem was a mathematician,
he would only diss-a-point.
When does Eminem go to English class?
Aftermath
My grandpa and Eminem rapping have 1 thing in common
They don't breathe
Do you know what the difference is between Shakespeare and Eminem?
Eminem had no ghostwriter
How do we know that Eminem is from the Midwest?
Ope there goes gravity
A guy walks into a bar owned by Eminem..
He says- "Give me two shots.."
The bartender cuts him off says, "You only got one shot."
If Eminem had the infinity gaulent....
He could actually snap back into reality
Breaking news: Amidst all the chaos, Eminem just got kicked out of a very high end bar.
Apparantly he asked the bartender for 4 shots but the bartender refused service and said you only get one shot.
What do you call the greatest sea flower rapper of all time?
An Eminem Anemone
When Cannibals Attack
When cannibals attacked the AMAs, why were Eminem, Kendrick Lamar and Drake spared?
You're not supposed to eat the rappers.
(I literally dreamt this joke)
Rapper Eminem has tested positive for COVID-19
In a statement released by doctors, it has been been revealed the following symptoms: his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. Not to mention that there was v**... on his sweater already.
Initial testing suggests that the cause is: Mom's Spaghetti.
An American and a Zimbabwean walk into a bar
The American says to the Zimbabwean, You know, we have a few good rappers in America. My favourite would have to be Eminem, have you got a favourite?
The Zimbabwean thinks for about 5 seconds and says, Well yes, of course. My favourite would have to be 50 cent, or as we call him, 400 billion dollars.
who is the best candy (w)rapper?
Eminem!
Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus.
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. He presented with v**... on his sweater already. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti.
Everyone who gets the COVID vaccine has to get two shots, except Eminem.
He only gets one shot.
What did Eminem say while administering the Johnson & Johnson vaccine?
You only get one shot.
Why can't Eminem take the pfizer vaccine ?
Because he only gets one shot.
You won't believe the reason Eminem stopped being antivax and decided to get the Johnson & Johnson vaccine!!
You only get one shot.
Eminem converted to Islam
Muslim shady
So I heard Eminem came out with a vaccine.
You only get one shot.
Which makes sense, he's worked a lot with Dr. Dre & J.
I just don't understand why everyone is making such a big deal about Eminem kneeling at the Super Bowl…
He literally said his knees were weak like 2 minutes earlier…
My 7 year old organically made this up!
Super Bowl halftime show, watching with my wife and boys, wife says The halftime show is a bunch of rappers from the 80's and 90's, including Eminem, I really like him.
7 year old: Mn'Ms are good, but I like Skittles better
Wife: Not the candies silly, the rapper!
7 year old: Why would you just eat the wrappers!?
My son's joke, thought it was worth posting here
If Eminem was a dinosaur, what would be be?
A velocirapper
