Emergency Nurse Jokes
13 emergency nurse jokes and hilarious emergency nurse puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about emergency nurse that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Emergency Nurse Short Jokes
Short emergency nurse jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The emergency nurse humour may include short doctor nurse jokes also.
- Someone once told me to drink bleach to quickly clean me out for a drug test. What an idiot... The emergency room nurse said I still had drugs in my system when I woke up...
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Emergency Nurse One Liners
Which emergency nurse one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with emergency nurse? I can suggest the ones about nurse and patient nurse.
- A nurse was in the emergency department, when a punk entered.
- What did the teenage doctor say in an emergency? I need a registered nurse, RN!!!
Emergency Nurse Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about emergency nurse you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean student nurse jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make emergency nurse pranks.
A cosmonaut c**... lands
A Russian cosmonaut has an emergency during his reentry into earth's atmosphere and his space craft c**... lands in the Australian bush, way out in the middle of nowhere. After what seems like an eternity, he wakes up in a bush hospital clinic, very rustic, dirty, with foul smells and he is really bandaged from head to foot and sees a very large, somewhat gruff looking nurse approaching him as he lay in his cot.
"Did I come here to die?" he says with a deep sense of resignation and fear.
"No," the Aussie nurse replies, "You came here yerster dye."
So I was in the emergency room
and while I was waiting for the doctor to come back I overheard a couple nurses at the nurses' station discussing another ER patient's case.
Apparently this dude had come in complaining of r**... pain. They took an X-Ray and found at least 8 toy horses in his colon. It sounded serious, but they described his condition as stable.
A man is declared dead in the emergency room with 3 nurses present.
Noticing he has a h**..., the first nurse says:
"I wouldn't want it to go to waste", and rides him.
The second nurse agrees, and does the same.
The third nurse says she's on her period, but that a little blood won't do anything.
After they're all done, the man suddenly wakes up, feeling better than ever.
"Weren't you dead?", Asked the nurses.
"Well, I was, but after two jump starts and a blood transfusion I feel great!"
Mr. Holmes gets into a car accident...
He arrives at the emergency room but there's a fair wait. So he get's some tea from the vending machine and it's quite good. Once his time comes he's brought in and admitted to a room. He's then brought a meal from the kitchen and soon calls in the nurse.
"Nurse, I can't drink this horrid tea!" he says.
"Well what do you want from me?" she asks.
"MORE E.R. TEA!!"
A doctor who was proud of his degrees...
always had them hanging in his office. His BS in Biology, PhD in Microbiology, and his MD were framed and hung behind him.
One day his clinic caught fire and he was caught inside the burning building. They were finally able to pull his unconscious body from the rubble and rushed him to the emergency room.
He came to as they got him to the emergency room, and that's when the nurse on staff told him "it appears you have suffered from first, second, and third degree burns."
3 guys are waiting while their wives give birth
A nurse emerges from the back and says, "Mr. David, come on back, your wife has delivered two beautiful babies!"
"Wow! Twins, huh? That's interesting, I'm from the twin rivers." Said Mr. David
After another hour, a second nurse comes into their room and says, "Mr. Smith, you wife has had healthy triplets!"
"That's awesome!" Replied Mr. Smith, "I'm from the three islands, Jonu, Frot and Trik." And with that he went back with the nurse
The third man begins sweating and praying. The first nurse returns to see if he's fine and if he needs anything. He looks terrified so she asks what's wrong.
"I'm from the forest of 1,000 trees!!"
The Train Carriage Compartment
So, traveling by train through Europe were a Ukrainian man, a Russian soldier, an old lady, and a beautiful young woman. Naturally, there was some tension, and nobody spoke.
Then the train went into a tunnel, and everything, for a moment, was pitch dark.
There's the sound of a loud kiss, a slap, and when the train emerges from the carriage, the Russian soldier is nursing a very sore cheek.
The old lady thinks: "Serves him right! How dare he take advantage of that young woman in the dark!"
The young woman thinks: "Serves him right! But I wonder why he kissed the old lady instead of me?"
The Russian soldier thinks: "That cheeky Ukrainian. He kisses the young woman, and I'm the one who gets slapped."
The Ukrainian man thinks: "Ha! I kiss the back of my hand, and I get to slap a Russian soldier!"
I heard a great dad joke in the emergency room the other day at work.
So the nurse and I walk into the room and there's a nice middle aged gentleman
He seemed nervous so the nurse asked what the matter was:
"well did you hear about the guy that died at this hospital last week?"
*Nurse and I glance at each other nervously
"No? well he had to be rushed to emergency surgery the moment he showed up!"
*More nervous glances
"Well when they sewed him up they left a sponge in him by accident"
"....and he died of thirst the next day"
*cue peevish laughter from ultimate dad.