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Emerges Jokes

36 emerges jokes and hilarious emerges puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about emerges that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Emerges Short Jokes

Short emerges jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The emerges humour may include short appears jokes also.

  1. A plane carrying Donald Trump made an emergency landing in New Orleans after alleged engine failure over the Gulf of Mexico. Turns out there was just a loud whine coming from the right wing.
  2. Why are women and children always the first ones to get evacuated on a emergency situation ? So men may think on a solution in silence
  3. My 7 year old daughter came up with this one (I trained her well). Why did the doctor make an emergency call to the graveyard? Because all the coffin.
  4. A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police: - Hello, is this 911?
    - Yes, what is your emergency?
    - I called to inform you that you're 910 now.
  5. How many perverts does it take to put in a lightbulb? Only one, but it takes the whole emergency room to remove it.
  6. How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but it takes an entire emergency room to get it out.
  7. A boy calls 9-11. "9-11 what is your emergency?"
    The boy replied, "My parents are fighting and I'm scared.."
    "Well who's your father?"
    "Well that's what they're fighting about."
  8. I have some sausage and cheese for emergencies... But I will only use them in a wurst käse scenario
  9. Whenever I go out, I always wear a stethoscope. That way, in the event of a medical emergency, I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.
  10. I always wear my Stethoscope around my neck So in an emergency, it teaches people a valuable lesson about assumption

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Emerges One Liners

Which emerges one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with emerges? I can suggest the ones about rises and ensues.

  1. Did you hear about Steve Harvey's new job? Hawaii Emergency Management Agency.
  2. My imaginary friend died in the emergency room waiting area Doctors refused to admit him
  3. Who do you call during a Zika virus emergency? The SWAT team
  4. Why did the Mexican go to the Emergency Room (ER)? Because of Hispanic attacks
  5. When should you go to a Mexican hospital? In queso of an emergency
  6. What did Chuck Norris say after calling 911? What's your emergency?
  7. What do rich people ride to the Emergency Room? An ambulenciaga.
  8. Where do snowmen go in a medical emergency? The ICY-U
  9. What's the name for the emergency service for lemons? Lemonade
  10. What do you call a German emergency? The wurst-case scenario.
  11. 100 people walk into a bar The emergency unit was overly busy that night.
  12. Why do Mexicans have a secret cheese stash? In queso emergency.
  13. Whats the difference between working hard and working harder The emergency room
  14. What number do you call for emergencies in Mexico? 9-Juan-Juan
  15. Operator: "911 what's your emergency?" Person: "Mariah Carey just bombed Times Square."

Emerges joke, Operator: "911 what's your emergency?"

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about emerges can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of emerges puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Amusing Emerges Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about emerges you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean evolved jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make emerges prank.

Obama, Putin and Merkel at the baltic sea

Obama declares: Our submarines can stay submerged for ten days before needing air.
Putin promptly says: That's nothing. Russian submarines can stay submerged for up to a month.
Merkel is embarrassed and stays silent.
Suddenly a submarine emerges. The hatch opens and the man yells: Heil h**...! Is the war over?

Putin, Obama and Merkel stand at the sea

Putin presents a submarine, saying: "This best russian technology! Our submarines stay 1 month under water without ever need to go surface!"
Obama smiles and says:
"This is our submarine... It can stay up to 3 months under water, no need to emerge even one time!"
Merkel stands next to them saying nothing.
Suddenly the sea is rambling and a submarine emerges next to them.
The top hatch opens and out pops and old man, raising his arm and shouting
"HEIL H*TLER, WE NEED DIESEL!"

A man and his wife are playing Dungeons and Dragons together...

During the man's turn, he rolls his D20 and rolls a 1. Simultaneously, he stubs his toe against the table leg so hard that his toe essentially falls off. Blood everywhere. The wife has to rush them both to the ER.
She's waiting.
She's waiting...
The doctor emerges, and the wife rushes over. "How is my husband? What's his condition?"
The doctor replies: "Critical, miss."

Obama and Putin are walking on the beach.

Obama says "We have got great submarines, they can stay under water for 6 weeks". Putin replies "That's nothing, our submarines can stay under water for 10 weeks". Suddenly, a submarine emerges and a man sticks his head out and yells "Heil h**...! Do you have diesel?"

An Engineering Joke.

Putin, Biden and Merkel are sitting on a beach after a summit and argue who's country has the best engineers. Putin says: " We make submarine run underwater for 5 five years. No contact to surface." Biden says: "Thats nothing. Ours run for ten years without resurfacing." Merkel just smiles. In this moment a Uboat emerges from the depths and drives up to the beach. A hatch opens, and a man in uniform pops out. He looks at the three, raises an arm and shouts: " Heil h**...! We need fuel!"

On earth: A magician puts his hand in his hat.

In the rabbit realm: The Hand emerges. It is time. The rabit council must choose another sacrifice.

The cellphone goes off in class...

Bully: "Aww, Is your Mommy calling you?"
The class emerges in snickers.
You: "Nope. Yours is."
The class becomes silent.

An Amish family goes to a mall for the first time

And of course they are overwhelmed. The man stands in front of an elevator, puzzled what this contraption may be. He watches a very heavyset woman enter it, the doors close and the elevator goes up, and as it returns, a young, beautiful woman emerges.
"What is that, Pa?", little Joshua wants to know.
"Never mind, son, but go get your mom here, quick!"

A man is trying to avoid being conscripted.

He runs from his house as soldiers come for him. As he heads down the street, he sees a nun. He runs up to her and says "please sister, let me hide under your dress, I don't want to die in the war".
The nun takes pity on him and lets him hide under her dress. The soldiers pass them by. As he emerges, the man blushes and says to the nun "pardon my saying sister, but you have a lovely pair of legs."
The nun smiles and replies "if you looked a little higher, you would've seen a lovely pair of b**.... I don't want to die in the war either."

An English man, French and American walk near the sea

And argue who has the best submarines.
The french says: Our submarines can las a whole week under water.
The english man says: Our submarines can last two weeks under water.
The american says: Well our submarines can last a whole month under water.
Near them a submarin emerges from the water and a man comes out of it and asks: Heil, is the war over?

My attempt to translate joke from my language.

Two men are sitting on the river bank, fishing.
Hedgehog walks out of the woods.
-Hey, guys! Do you have a duct tape?
-Nope...
Hedgehog goes away.
Two hours later hedgehog emerges again.
-Hey, guys! I got a duct tape for you!

A cop is pulling over a car, that was way too fast.

He approaches the car on the drivers side, while the driver is cranking down the window. Next to the driver sits a passenger. A curious "fog" emerges from the vehicle.
Cop: "Do you have any idea, why I pulled you over?"
Driver: "I don't have any idea."
Cop: "Seriously? Well you speeded with over 70 in a 30 zone."
The two guys in the car are seemingly astonished, then the one on the passenger side rips open the glove box and yells: "Bridge to Engineering! Less coal, we go way too fast!"

Trump, Putin and Merkel meet on a ship in the Nordsea to discuss which U-boats to use for the NATO.

Trump, Putin and Merkel meet on a ship in the Nordsea to discuss which U-boats to use for the NATO.
Trump: "American U-boats are the best boats in the world, they can stay under water for a year!".
Putin: "Ha, If you Americans had better spice you would know that soviet boats are the best boats in the world!"
They both look at Merkel, waiting for what she would say, but before she has time to come up with something a U-boat emerges from the sea and a man in a black uniform emerges and screams: "HEIL h**..., WE NEED MORE DIESEL!"

An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman are sentenced to 20yrs solitary confinement.

The judge allows each to choose something to take with them.
-The Englishman takes 20 women with him.
-The Scotsman takes 20 years worth of whiskey.
-The Irishman takes 20 years worth of cigarettes.
After 20 long years they are all released from solitary.
When the Englishman's cell is opened he emerges with multiple children of various ages.
The Scotsman leaves his cell absolutely hammered from 20 years worth of alcohol a**....
Finally the Irishman emerges from his cell with a cigarette in his hand and asks "anyone have a light?"

A German, an American and an Englishman are standing by the sea...

They're talking about their military's efficiency. The American boldly claims "Our American submarines can last a month under water without ever having to go up!".
The Englishman laughs and says "That's nothing. Our Royal Navy submarines can last half a year under water without ever having to go up!"
Both look at the German who remains silent. Suddenly a submarine emerges before them and a man jumps out shouting: "Heil h**..., we need fuel!".

3 guys are waiting while their wives give birth

A nurse emerges from the back and says, "Mr. David, come on back, your wife has delivered two beautiful babies!"
"Wow! Twins, huh? That's interesting, I'm from the twin rivers." Said Mr. David
After another hour, a second nurse comes into their room and says, "Mr. Smith, you wife has had healthy triplets!"
"That's awesome!" Replied Mr. Smith, "I'm from the three islands, Jonu, Frot and Trik." And with that he went back with the nurse
The third man begins sweating and praying. The first nurse returns to see if he's fine and if he needs anything. He looks terrified so she asks what's wrong.
"I'm from the forest of 1,000 trees!!"

A female dwarf goes to a doctor......

........complaining of an embarrassing itch in the groin area.
The doctor looks her up and down, picks her up and stands her on his desk..
He lifts up her skirt and puts his head under. A little perplexed, she hears snip, snip, snip, snip.
The doctor emerges from under her skirt.
"How's that?" he asks
"Well, it's a lot better actually" she says, "but...........it's still there."
Undaunted, he dives back under her skirt.
Snip, snip, snip,snip..
Out he comes. "How's that?"
He asks again more confidently.
"That's wonderful! What did you do?" she asked.
"Oh nothing, I just trimmed the top of your Ugg boots"

4 people in the carriage of a train – a Jew, a pretty young blond, an ugly old woman and a Muslim

It all goes dark when the train goes through a tunnel.
In the dark there's the sound of an almighty slap, and when the train emerges from the tunnel the Muslim is rubbing his face, and there's a huge red mark on his cheek.
The old lady thinks, I bet that Muslim fondled the blond in the dark and she slapped him.
The pretty young blond thinks, I bet the Muslim tried to f**... me in the dark, got the old lady by mistake, and she hit him."
The Muslim thinks, I bet that dirty Jew fondled the blond in the dark, but the blond thought it was me and hit me.
The Jew thinks, I hope there's another tunnel coming up soon so I can slap that Muslim m**... again."

The Train Carriage Compartment

So, traveling by train through Europe were a Ukrainian man, a Russian soldier, an old lady, and a beautiful young woman. Naturally, there was some tension, and nobody spoke.
Then the train went into a tunnel, and everything, for a moment, was pitch dark.
There's the sound of a loud kiss, a slap, and when the train emerges from the carriage, the Russian soldier is nursing a very sore cheek.
The old lady thinks: "Serves him right! How dare he take advantage of that young woman in the dark!"
The young woman thinks: "Serves him right! But I wonder why he kissed the old lady instead of me?"
The Russian soldier thinks: "That cheeky Ukrainian. He kisses the young woman, and I'm the one who gets slapped."
The Ukrainian man thinks: "Ha! I kiss the back of my hand, and I get to slap a Russian soldier!"

Just some guys chilling out in Heaven

Two guys die and go to heaven. They relax with some beer and some salt-dried fish. They watch the waves roll against the river bank, and take things real slow and easy.
Suddenly, another guy emerges from the brushwood, takes a quick sip of beer, a piece of fish, and dives back into the brush. And again, several times in a row.
Eventually the two guys can't take it any more and tell him:
- Why do you keep running around? This is heaven - you have all the time in the world. Don't kill the mood.
- Hey dudes, I'd be happy to hang around! But I'm in **intensive care**!

2 Rabbis

Two rabbis are walking down the street when they come to a Catholic church. The sign out front says "Convert now and get $100!".
One rabbi turns to the other and says "Perhaps I should consider it." The other says "What? Nonsense. They're probably kidding about the money anyway." The first rabbi nonetheless goes in. His friend sits on a bench and waits for an hour.
Eventually the first rabbi emerges with a cross instead of a Star of David around his neck.
The 2nd rabbi asks, "So did they give you the $100?".
He replies "Oh, is THAT all you people care about?"

Emerges joke, 2 Rabbis

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these emerges jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.