Embassy Jokes

33 embassy jokes and hilarious embassy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about embassy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Embassy Short Jokes

Short embassy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The embassy humour may include short ambassador jokes also.

  1. Why are there no coups in the US? It is the only country without a US embassy.
    (heard from a Brazilian friend)
  2. I wanted to visit Australia So I went to the embassy to get a visa.
    The woman behind the counter asked if I'd been convicted of a crime.
    I told her I didn't know that was still necessary.
  3. If you're leaving the U.S. Embassy in Santiago, make sure to put on a jacket... It's Chile outside.
  4. Europe is in turmoil, but at least I've got some steady income despite the migrant crisis I own a florist around the corner from the French embassy
  5. Why the coup in USA failed SO much ? Because there was no American embassy to coordinate it.
  6. I applied for a job at the Chinese Embassy Decided not to accept their generous offer because of all the red flags
  7. BREAKING NEWS: Iran announced they will be moving their Embassy to Jerusalem All their documents, files, blueprints, CD's, videos are already there.
  8. A Saudi man wanted to divorce his wife... She had one condition The papers to be submitted at the Embassy in Istanbul
  9. Why won't there ever be a coup d'état in Washington? Because there's no American Embassy there.
  10. In Australia Russians have been working 13 years to finish building the Russian Embassy. I guess they're not Russian and they're taking their time.

Share These Embassy Jokes With Friends

Embassy One Liners

Which embassy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with embassy? I can suggest the ones about secret service and palace.

  1. The Swiss embassy has had it's flag stolen. Ambassadors are nonplussed.
  2. Why did the tree go to the Ecuadorian embassy? He wanted to find a xylem.
  3. What do you call a potato that was kicked out of the embassy? Potato non gratin
  4. Why hasn't there been a coup in the United States? Because they don't have a US Embassy.
  5. The problem with Saudi embassies Is once you've lost one citizen you've lost Jamal.
  6. Stopped by the American embassy... ...and picked up a McDouble.

Embassy joke, Stopped by the American embassy...

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Embassy Jokes

What funny jokes about embassy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean empire jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make embassy pranks.

So, an Indian went to the US embassy

to get a visa for a visit to his friend placed there. When asked where he was going, he replied,"San Jose"...!
The immigration officer corrected that San Jose is pronounced ''San Hose'' ...J is pronounced as ''H''
'' So how long is your stay in San Jose?''
"7 months; from Hanuary to Huly."

So george bush is in his office...

His adviser comes in tells him, "Mr. President I'm afraid I have some bad news. There was an e**... at our embassy in South America, two Americans were killed as well as three Brazilian citizens."
Bush looks at him and says, "Oh my God... How many is a brazilian?"

An Arab national is interviewed at the Embassy for a visa:

Consul: Your name please?
Arab: Abu Zina.
Consul: s**...?
Arab: Every day.
Consul: Er, I mean, male or female?
Arab: Don't matter, sometimes even Camel.
Consul: Holy cow!
Arab: Yes, cows and donkey too.
Consul: Isn't that hostile?
Arab: Hosstyle, Dogstyle, any style!.
Consul: Oh dear!
Arab: No deer! run too fast.

I decided to travel to the US.

At the Embassy for the visa interview...
Officer : Where to in the US?
Me : San Jose
Officer : It's pronounced as San Hosay. J is pronounced as H in the US.
Me : Oh, okay!
Officer : So how long do you plan to be in the US?
Me : From Hanuary to Hune or Huly.
Visa Rejected.

A mummy was found in Egypt.

The archaeologists could not determine its origin. Then a Soviet adviser offered his help. The mummy was delivered to the Soviet embassy. In two hours the Soviet adviser appeared and said, "His name was Amenkhotep 23 rd."
"How did you find out?"
"He confessed," the advisor said.

I went to the US Embassy for a visa interview in Bangalore.

Officer: Where to in the US?
Me: San Jose
Officer: It's pronounced as "San Hosey". J is pronounced as H in the US
Me: Oh okay
Officer: So how long do you plan to be in the US?
Me: 7 months, from Hanuary to Huly

After years of searching for his missing journalist father, a man gets a call from the U.S. Embassy...

I regret to inform you that we've located your father's remains. They were found buried in a sack somewhere in Iraq.
Oh no! Baghdad?
Try to remember how he lived, not how he died.

An Interview

An Arab was interviewed at the US Embassy for a Visa
Consul: What is your name?
Arab: Abdul Aziz
Consul: s**...?
Arab: Six to ten times a week
Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arab: Both male and female and sometimes even
Consul: Holy cow!
Arab: Yes, cows too.
Consul: Man....isn't that hostile?
Arab: Oh horse style, d**..., any style
Consul: Oh dear!
Arab: Deer? No deer, they run away too fast!
Consul: Oh God!
Arab: Yeah, I know it's Good for the health

An Arab being interviewed at the US Embassy...

CONSUL: "Your name, please?"
ARAB: "Abdul Aziz."
CONSUL: "s**...?"
ARAB: "SIX times a week."
CONSUL: "I mean, male or female?"
ARAB: "Both male & female & sometimes even camels."
CONSUL: "Holy cow!"
ARAB:"Yes, cows & dogs too."
CONSUL:"Man, isn't that hostile?"
ARAB:"Horse style, d**...,any style!"
CONSUL:"Oh dear!"
ARAB:"Deer?No deer, they run too fast!!..."

Why were the alien journalists mad at the Saudi embassy?

They came in peace but left in pieces.

Saudi Arabia heard that Trump was going to pardon a turkey

But they'd still like to have a word with it at their embassy.

If you get a Facebook Friend request from the Saudi Embassy,

Do not accept it! You will get hacked.

Pop quiz: How many time zones does Russia have?

24. (They have an embassy in every time zone.)

Embassy joke, Pop quiz: How many time zones does Russia have?