Embarrassment Jokes
48 embarrassment jokes and hilarious embarrassment puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about embarrassment that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Embarrassment Short Jokes
Short embarrassment jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The embarrassment humour may include short embarrassing jokes also.
- I was so embarrassed that my wife caught me playing with my son's train set that I threw the bedsheet over it. I think I managed to cover my tracks.
- Why did the mermaid rush out of her maths exam, red faced and embarrassed? Because her algaebra didn't hold up.
- I wish my girlfriend wasn't so obsessed about her breast size. Even a trip to the car dealership became embarrassing. She told the guy she wanted something that'll get her from A to B.
- I was so embarrassed when my wife found me playing with my son's train set that I threw a blanket over it. I think I managed to cover my tracks.
- The thought of one of my friends catching me playing with my train set is so embarrassing. So I covered the set up with bedsheets. Nobody will find out now, my tracks are covered
- Frankenstein enters a bodybuilding competition And was promptly left in embarrassment when he realized that he'd severely misunderstood the objective.
- As get older, I've developed an embarrassing habit of screaming loudly during a proctology exam. It makes my patients extremely uncomfortable.
- What's the Best Way To Embarrass A Psychic On Their Birthday? Throw Them A Surprise Party.
- Why was the ketchup in the refrigerator embarrassed? He saw the salad dressing! Thank you thank you..
- What's the most embarrassing part about Hillary Clinton's emails? The Nigerian Prince actually came through with the money transfer.
Share These Embarrassment Jokes With Friends
Embarrassment One Liners
Which embarrassment one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with embarrassment? I can suggest the ones about embarrassing moments and really embarrassing.
- Nothing embarrasses a psychic more than a surprise party.
- Why was the vegetable store robber embarrassed? He got caught taking a leek
- Why was the gardener embarrassed? He wet his plants in front of everyone
- Why was Kylo Ren embarrassed at McDonald's? It was his First Order!
- Why was the lettuce embarrassed? It saw the salad dressing.
- Why do Welshmen like to embarrass their wives? It makes them rather sheepish.
- Why was Zeus embarrassed in his swimsuit? Because of his thunder thighs.
- Why was the zombie embarrassed in bed? He had resurrectile disfunction
- How did cell embarrass vegeta? He put a hole in his trunks.
- What do you call an embarrassing situation underwater? Aquard
- Why was the ocean embarrassed? Because all the fish could see his bottom.
- Why is my cat constantly embarrassed? Because he always has fou' paws!
- Why was the plant embarrassed? It soiled itself. *Buh dum ts* *Dodges tomatoes*
- A man walks into a bar. Embarrassed, he dusts himself off, then walks around it.
- Why was the gardener so embarrassed? Because he wet his plants
Hilarious Fun Embarrassment Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about embarrassment you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ashamed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make embarrassment pranks.
I was in a long McDonald's drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn because I was taking too long to place my order.
Take the high road, I thought to myself. So when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with my own.
The cashier must have told her what I'd done because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed "Thank you.", obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with kindness.
When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food too.
Now she has to go back to the end of the line to start all over.
Don't honk your horn at old people.
A girl promises to teach her boyfriend what 69ing is.
He lies down on the floor and she squats down over his face to assume the position and farts. Embarrassed she stands up and apologises. She squats down for another go but farts again, she gets up and apologises again.
Before she can have a third go, her boyfriend gets up and goes to walk out saying yeah this isn't really for me, I'm not having 67 more of those in my face
Them: "don't you think you'll feel embarrassed by all your s**... jokes when you get older
Me "when I what"
I just read somewhere that capitalization is the difference between "I helped my uncle j**... a horse" and "i helped my uncle j**... a horse".
Well that's embarrassing. Now everyone thinks my uncle's name is Jack.
Do you mind if I sit beside you? The girl replied with a loud voice, "NO, I DON 'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!" All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy 's table and said, "I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?
The guy then responded with a loud voice, $500 FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT 'S WAY TOO MUCH!
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy stood and whispered in her ear, "I study law, and I know how to screw people."
My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about s**....
Just this morning she said "is that the best you can do?".
Obama, Putin and Merkel at the baltic sea
Obama declares: Our submarines can stay submerged for ten days before needing air.
Putin promptly says: That's nothing. Russian submarines can stay submerged for up to a month.
Merkel is embarrassed and stays silent.
Suddenly a submarine emerges. The hatch opens and the man yells: Heil h**...! Is the war over?
A man comes home from church with two black eyes.
His wife takes one look at him and exclaims, "how in the world did you get two black eyes at church!?"
"Well" the man answers, "When we stood up to pray, i noticed that the woman in front of me had the back of her dress tucked in to her pantyhoes. I didn't want to embarrass her by telling her, so i reached forward and pulled it out. She turned around and punched me in the eye!"
"that explains one black eye" said his wife, " so how did you get the other one?"
"I thought she must have wanted it there so i put it back!"
The son of a rich Saudi sheikh arrives in Germany for his University studies.
He soon writes home to his father. "Dear Dad, Berlin is wonderful, the people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad I am a little ashamed to be riding to class every day in my 24k gold Ferrari 599GTB when my professors, friends and many fellow students all travel by train. Your son, Ahmed"
Promptly, his father writes back. "My Dear son Ahmed, $20 Million has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing our family. Go and get yourself a train too. Love, your dad"
I get really embarrassed when female guests visit my house and my dog sniffs their c**....
Ok, he's a chihuahua and I have to lift him up, but it's still embarrassing.
An Arab student emails his dad:
*An arab student emails his dad:*
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser.
*The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:*
My dear loving son,
Twenty million USD have just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Love,
your Dad
A blonde walks into a library (*not the whole joke)
She says to the librarian "Hiiii, I'd like a cheeseburger, some fries, and a coke."
The librarian says, "Lady, this is a library!"
Embarrassed, the blonde apologizes and whispers, "I'd like a cheeseburger, some fries, and a coke."
How do you embarrass an archeologist?
Hand him a used t**... and ask which period it's from.
I went to get a prostate exam yesterday...
the doctor told me to get in the fetal position and relax.
"You, know", the doc said after about 30 seconds into the procedure, "it's shouldn't be embarrassing, and it's not uncommon for some men to get an e**... during this procedure."
"I don't have an e**...', I responded.
Doc responded, "Yeah, but I do."
A boy asked a girl in a library, "Do you mind if I sit beside you"?
A boy asked a girl in a library, "Do you mind if I sit beside you"?
The girl answered with a loud angry voice; "I don't want to spend the night with you!!"
All the people in the library started staring at the boy and he was embarrassed.
After a few minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said to him," I study psychology and I know what man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed, right?"
The guy responded with a loud voice,"$300 for one night. That's too much!!"
And all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears, "I study law and I know how to make someone guilty."
Erections happen all the time
A man is about to get a prostate exam from his doctor. Before the doctor begins, he tells the man "I must tell you, during this type of examination, erections happen all the time. They are very common, and trust me, it's nothing to be embarrassed about."
The man seems a little uncomfortable, but the doctor continues, "Now a little less common, is you may get one too."
Childish but made me laugh
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Show him a used t**... and ask, "What period is this from?"
I was in the public toilets today and as I sat down, a voice from the next cubicle said "Hi, how are you?".
Embarrassed, I said, "I'm doing fine".
The voice said "So what are you up to?".
I said, "Just doing the same as you - sitting here!
He said "Can I come over?".
Annoyed, I say "I'm rather busy right now".
Then the voice said, "Listen, I'll have to call you back, there's an i.d.i.o.t in the cubicle next to me answering all my questions".
Yesterday I accidentally sent a n**... picture of myself to everyone in my address book.
Not only was it embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamps.
My daughter has got to the age where she ask embarrassing questions about s**...
Such as today when she asked "Is that the best you can do?"
A blonde girl called Jenny came skipping home after school.
"Mommy mommy! Today in school, everyone else only counted to 5, but I counted to 10!"
The mom replies, "That's great honey!"
Jenny then asks, "Is it because I'm blonde?"
"Yes sweetie" says the mom.
The next day, Jenny comes home skipping and calling out "Mommy mommy! Today after gym class, everyone was taking a shower and had flat chests! While I had these!"
Jenny lifts her tank top to reveal a pair of 36C's. "Is it because I'm blonde?"
Embarrassed, the mom replies, "No honey, it's because you're 24"
A woman had three daughters getting married the same day. Naturally she was worried about their s**... life. It was agreed that they would send a discrete message.
Two weeks after the triple wedding the first message arrives. An ad for Maxwell House with the slogan "Good till the last drop." She's happy for her girl.
A month passes and a second message arrives with a Marlboro ad. "Marlboro: Extra long, extra strong." She's a little embarrassed, but happy.
Three months pass. She's really worried about her youngest when finally a message arrives. It's addressed in shaky handwriting and contains an ad for British Airways. "London to Paris: Seven days a week, three times a day, both ways."
She fainted.
I was so embarrassed when I got an e**... during a prostate exam.
Especially when they found out I'm not even a doctor.
The Queen takes the visiting Pope for a ride in a horse carriage through London.
Suddenly one of the horses farts very loudly.
Oh my goodness, I am so terribly sorry! apologizes the embarrassed Queen.
Oh don't worry about it" the Pope replied "If you hadn't said anything, I'd have just thought it was one of the horses!"
An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him.
The Devil told the lawyer, ''I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and law partners.''
The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, ''So, what's the catch?''