Embarrassing Dad Jokes
36 embarrassing dad jokes and hilarious embarrassing dad puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about embarrassing dad that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Embarrassing Dad Short Jokes
Short embarrassing dad jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The embarrassing dad humour may include short dumb dad jokes also.
- I find it really awkward that my Grandparents named my Dad's sister "Vaccine"... I'm embarrassed to tell people that she's Auntie Vax.
- I thought nothing could be more embarrassing than finding my dad's playboys in the closet. Until one of them tried to shake my hand.
- I told my Dad it'd be embarrassing to chaperone at my schools prom. He said I'd do fine and thanks for hooking him up with the freshman date.
- IKEA visits with my dad are always really embarrassing. Every time we see a table he starts to explain about symbols. He's like a legend!
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Cheerful Embarrassing Dad Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about embarrassing dad you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad dad jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make embarrassing dad pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living...
Jack answers, "my daddy's a scientist, and my mom is a nurse."
Suzie answers, "my mommy's an architect."
"And how about you, Johnny?" the teacher asks one student. Johnny looks up at her and says, "my dad works at a gay s**... club. Every night, he dances in a g-string for a bunch of men, and once in a while one of the men will pay him and he'll go to the man's house for the night." The teacher, shocked, hurriedly moves the class along to the next activity.
A little while later, she pulls Johnny aside while the rest of the students are working, and asks, "did you really mean that when you said your dad's a gay stripper?" Johnny looks up and says, "no, he's one of Mitt Romney's campaign managers, but that was too embarrassing to tell the whole class."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
First Impressions
A young teenage couple have been dating for a little while, so the girl says to the boy that she wants him to meet her parents. He is a little skeptical at this, but she tells him that if he can make a good impression with them that she will reward him with s**....
Extremely excited at the prospect of losing his virginity, the boy rushes to the local pharmacy to get some protection. However, he is a little embarrassed and unsure of himself. The pharmacist at the counter notices this and walks over to see if he can help. "First time?" the pharmacist guesses. The boy nods sheepishly. So the pharmacist gives him the basics on picking condoms. The boy thanks him, buys some, and leaves.
Finally, the big night arrives and the boy arrives at the girl's house. As the couple and the girl's parents sit down for dinner, they all bow their heads to say grace over the meal. Afterwards, they all look up to start eating, except for the boy, who still has his head bowed in prayer. Respectfully, the girl and her parents sit quietly as he continues praying to himself. After about 5 minutes pass, the girl leans over and whispers to him, "I never knew you were so religious!" He looks up at her and whispers back, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist!"
A rich middle eastern oil tycoon sends his son to study in Germany...
His son is feeling nervous about being alone abroad. So, his father allows him to take one of the golden plated Ferraris to Germany in order to boost his confidence. It is shipped over and the father hears nothing for the first few weeks from his son. Then, he recieves an email:
"Father,
I love the way the Ferrari drives but it's so embarrassing, all the other students take trains to school! What should I do?
Your loving son"
The father then replies the next day
"Son,
The gold plated train is on its way
Dad"
It's Fathers Day At Kindergarten And All the Kids Are Supposed To Make Cards... (Fixed)
...by drawing a picture of their father at work.
Teacher asks, "Logan, what does your father do?"
"My dad's a cop. I'm gonna draw him catching a bad guy."
Then the teacher asks, "Briei, what does your father do?"
Briei says, "My dad's a writer. I'm going to draw him with his new book."
Teacher gets to Little Johnny. "And what does your father do, Johnny?" The teacher looks at the card and is surprised to see it's a picture of a man stripping at a gay bar! Knowing better the teacher asks why he lied Little Johnny says, "My dad's the quarterback for The Vikings but i'm too embarrassed to tell that..."
The teacher faints.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Brazil - Germany, the most embarrassing semi since...
... I watched Brokeback Mountain with my Dad.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The most embarrassing moment of my life was probably walking in on my parents having s**...
after 45 minutes my dad was like, dude, get out of here!
i think mark hoppus said this one
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Curious Little Boy
A little boy is at the park with his mother and father. While walking around, he sees 2 dogs, one being mounted and other other h**... furiously. "What are they doing"? The little boy ask his parents. The father thinking quickly says "Making a puppy" and the boy accepts this answer and they are on there way. Later that night, as the boy lies in bed, he gets up to go ask his parents for a glass of water. He walks in to see his day laying on top of his mother, face to face, h**... furiously." Daddy, what are you doing to mommy" The dad, extremely embarrassed, saying the first thing that pops into his brain "We're making a baby". The boy looks at his parents one more time before he responds "Turn her over, I'd rather have a puppy"
An Arab student e-mails his dad
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser.
The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:
My dear loving son,
Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Love,
your Dad
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Disrespectful parrot.
A little girl is playing around her sleeping dad, when she notices that her dad is n**... from the waist down under the blanket. Curious, she wakes up her dad and point to his junk and asks him what is it? Her dad embarrassed tries to explain keeping her innocence,
"sweetheart, this is a parrot, the one's in the bottom are its eggs and the foliage surrounding it is its nest". Saying that he sends her away and goes back to sleep.
A few hours later the girls mom comes home and is shocked to find EMT's taking her husband in an ambulance. While the little girl sits terrified and crying. The mom runs to her and asks what happened?
"Mommy, i got bored and decided to play with the parrot, but after a few minutes of playing the parrot spit on me and i got angry. So i cut the parrots neck, smashed its eggs with a wrench and burned its nest".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is walking through the park with his son...
Suddenly the boy exclaims, "Dad! Dad! Look!"
And the man turns to see two dogs h**... wildly.
"What are they doing?" the boy asks.
The man hesitates for a moment and says, "Ah, well son... *They're making puppies!*"
"Wow! Neat!" the boy says, rather astonished.
Later that night – thinking their son is asleep – the man and his wife begin some very passionate love making.
"What are you doing?" they suddenly hear from their doorway. It's their boy!
Shocked and embarrassed they stop. "Well son," the man begins, "Mommy and I were, ah, just making a new little brother or sister for you!"
The boy looks at his dad for a moment, and says, "Well, turn her around! I want a puppy!"
Arab Joke
A young Arab guy joins a college in USA and attends classes everyday in a gold plated and diamond studded Ferrari.
A few days later he writes to his parents about the experience of attending college in USA. He wrote,"Dear Mom and Dad I am loving it over here. The college is very good and so are all of the students. The only problem for me is I am attending the college in a Ferrari while almost all of my classmates come here by train"
The parents replied," Dear Son we are happy to know you are loving the college life and like it over there but please dont embarrass us with small issues like your going to college by Car while your friends come in train. We have transferred 40 million dollars to your account. Buy a nice train for yourself and attend college in it!"
Sheikh's son goes to University
A rich billionaire Sheikh sends his son to a university in the US. He buys his son a gold plated Ferrari so that he can commute from his house to the university everyday.
A couple of weeks in, he gets really upset and sends an email to his dad:
Dad, all my friends in the university use the public transport .. usually a train .. to come to university. I feel really embarrassed to be driving around in a gold Ferrari.
Next day, the Sheikh responds: Don't worry son. I've just transferred $10 million to your account. Go buy urself a train.
My dad's favorite joke
Two men go out to lunch. One man orders a BLT, but the waitress says "We're out of BLTs." The man contends they cannot be out of BLTs, and asks whether they have bacon. The waitress answers in the affirmative. The man asks whether they have tomatoes. Again, the waitress answers "yes." The man asks whether they have lettuce, and the waitress states they are indeed out of lettuce. The man asks whether he can have cabbage instead of lettuce, and the waitress agrees to arrange for this.
When the food arrives, the man who ordered the BLT begins to dissect the sandwich. He wipes the mayonnaise off the bread and wipes it on the side of the plate. He sets the tomatoes aside, and crumbles the bacon and puts it on top of the tomatoes. He then begins rolling up the cabbage and stuffing it into his ear. His friend is confused and embarrassed, and asks the man to stop, saying "Why are you doing that with the cabbage?"
The man answers: "Because they were out of lettuce."
Poor Tommy
The teacher asked her class to write down on a piece of paper the type of work their daddies did.
The children, very excitedly, scribbled their answers
One by one, the teacher asked each child to stand and describe the job.
There was much laughter and screaming, apart from, that is little Tommy.
"Tommy, why do you look so sad?" asked the teacher.
Tommy slowly rose to his feet, and replied: "my dads a stripper in a gay bar".
The other children remained silent as Tommy continued:
"Sometimes, he doesn't come home, and my mummy sits crying, sometimes he sells his body for other mens pleasure."
There were gasps around the classroom, the teacher acted quickly and dismissed the children, telling them to go outside and play.
She then walked up to Tommy, put her arm around him, and asked "is that all true Tommy?
"No not at all miss. He really plays rugby for England, but i was too embarrassed to say"
A Saudi Arabian prince is going to college in England
He texts his father,
"Dad, I feel weird driving my Lamborghini to school when all my classmates take a train"
His father replies;
"Son, I have transferred 500 million dollars into your account. Go out and buy a train and stop embarrassing this family"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Johnny was in class one day...
and the teacher was asking everyone what their parents do. One said her dad was a firefighter, another said his mom was a nurse. When the teach asked Johnny what his dad does Johnny said "Well my dad is a stripper in a gay bar, and if the guy looks good and the money is right he'll have s**... with him out back in the alley." The teacher asked everyone to take their seats and sit quietly, then asked Johnny to step into the hall. She asked Johnny if his dad was really a stripper in a gay bar and Johnny said "Absolutely not. He's the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, but I was too embarrassed to say that."
A rich Arab student e-mails his dad...
A rich Arab student e-mails his dad and says:
Dear Father,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Rolls Royce Phantom when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Hassan.
A day later his father replies:
Dear Hassan,
Fifty million euros have been transferred to your account, stop embarrassing your family and buy yourself a train too.
Love you, Dad.
I came here in a limo tonight, and the license plate was made by Felicity Huffman.
It’s her daughter I feel sorry for. That must be the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to her, and her dad was in Wild Hogs.
A Saudi Arabian Oil Baron sends his son to study abroad...
To help his son in his life and studies abroad, he gives his son a good deal of money and more importantly, a Ferrari sportscar, as he though it might be a good idea to flaunt some wealth.
Despite this, a few weeks later his son calls him and laments Dad, every time I go to lectures, I drive there with my Ferrari, but everyone else there takes the train, its really awkward as I'm the only guy with a car!
Incensed, the Oil Baron practically yells into the phone Son, I'm depositing 10 million Euros into your account now, stop embarrassing your family and buy yourself a train!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm so embarrassed, I got caught getting a b**... by my mum last week..
The worst thing is it was my dad who caught us
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A dad accidentally walks in on his son jerking off..
and the kid is embarrassed and ashamed. The father, noticing this, says" Son, m**... is only a problem if you let it get out of hand."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I cried the first time I had s**.... You can laugh. Im not embarrassed by it. It was a very emotional moment for me...
I think it's because it was the first time my dad ever hugged me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two guys sitting next to each other in a loud, crowded bar...
Over all the noise, o**... turns to the other guy and says, "I had s**... with your mother last night". The other guy just shakes his head and turns away.
About 2 drinks later, the first guy says a little louder, "I BANGED your mother last night!!" A few people around them stopped what they were doing to see how the other guy was going to respond, but he just turns away clearly embarrassed.
3 shots later, the first guy yells as loud as he possibly can, "I DESTROYED YOUR MOM IN BED LAST NIGHT!!!" This time the entire bar heard and the room fell silent in shock...
The other guy turns to him and says, "Dad, go home.. you're drunk!"
Jesus relieves St. Peter at he pearly gates for a coffee break.
Soon an old man approaches to be admitted. Jesus thinks to himself..."Oh man, I know this guy from somewhere." Embarrassed, he says, "Yes, I know you. On Earth you lived...let's see..." The old man says, "I lived in a Mediterranean country." Jesus says, "Right, I remember. And you worked as...uh..." "I was a carpenter." the old man says. "Yes, and kids, you had..." The old man says, "Well there was the boy, but he wasn't really mine." Then it clicks, Jesus looks at the old man and cries, "Dad!" and the old man cries, "Pinocchio!"
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Dad's job
(German here)
The teacher asks the children what their dad's are doing for a job. All very exited shouted all different professions;
"Police Office, Fireman, banker, accountant, ..." ... only Hans remained quiet.
So, the teach asks "Hans, what is you dad doing as a job?"
"Oh, he's dancing n**... at a gay club and sometimes man pay him more money and they go to a motel together".
"Is that true, Hans?" The teacher asks shocked.
"No, he's playing football (soccer) for the German national team but that would have been too embarrassing.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Julio Iglesias
dad: "sweetheart, do you know Spanish singer Julio Iglesias? He said he wanted to have another concert soon, you know! "
mom: "My deaaar, if I say 'Julio', it is pronounced as 'Hulio'. Don't embarrassed me like that ... "
dad: "Ooo ... is that so, ...?"
mom: "Yes, dear. When will the concert be available? "
dad: "It was Hanuari, but it was postponed. Either its Hune or Huly. Lets Watch it! After that, I plan to h**... together with him at his room, what do you think?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny walks in on his dad having s**... with his aunt.
Aunt was going up and down on his dad.When he sees little Johnny he is embarrassed and quickly tries covering up.
"So,..Son, see Aunty was ju.."
Little Johnny interrupts before dad could say further and says, "I know she was helping you flatten your tummy by going up and down, right?"
Dad is perplexed as it was the exactly what he was going to say and asks Johnny, "Right... Uhh, but how do you know?"
"Well, mommy too was helping the mailman flatten his tummy the other day."
The son of a rich Saudi sheikh arrives in Germany for his University studies.
He soon writes home to his father. "Dear Dad, Berlin is wonderful, the people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad I am a little ashamed to be riding to class every day in my 24k gold Ferrari 599GTB when my professors, friends and many fellow students all travel by train. Your son, Ahmed"
Promptly, his father writes back. "My Dear son Ahmed, $20 Million has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing our family. Go and get yourself a train too. Love, your dad"
A wife is making deer meat for her guests
A wife is making deer meat for her guests.
They soon arrive and to impress them, she tells them her children can guess what animal the meat belongs to.
She asks her children but they are dumbfounded.
Not wanting to be embarrassed in front of her guests she gives them a hint.
"It's also the nickname I have for your dad."
The children push the plate away and say "I don't wanna eat donkeys"
An Arab student emails his dad:
*An arab student emails his dad:*
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser.
*The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:*
My dear loving son,
Twenty million USD have just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Love,
your Dad
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Queen Elizabeth and Indira Gandhi
My dad told me this joke when I was young, and I think it's HILARIOUS:
Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was once invited by Queen Elizabeth. Both of them were riding in the Queen's horse-driven carriage when one of the horses f**....
Petrified and embarrassed by the horse's toot, the Queen apologizes to Indira Gandhi, "I'm sorry," she said.
Indira Gandhi replied, "Oh that's okay. But I thought it was the horse!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I picked my son up from college the other day.
He said "Dad this is embarrassing, everybody is looking at us."
I said" They're only jealous son, just because their dad's ain't carrying them on their shoulders."
