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Elvis Jokes

96 elvis jokes and hilarious elvis puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about elvis that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

A selection of the best Elvis jokes from around the internet. If you're a fan of the king of rock and roll, then you're sure to enjoy these!

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Funniest Elvis Short Jokes

Short elvis jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The elvis humour may include short elvis presley jokes also.

  1. If Elvis Presley was alive today, what do you think he'd be doing right now? Scratching at the coffin lid, screaming Let me out!
  2. Don't know if this is a scam but I just received a text saying I'd won $250 cash or 2 tickets to an Elvis tribute night. It says press 1 for the money or 2 for the show.
  3. My wife just left me, screaming, "ALL YOU EVER DO IS QUOTE ELVIS PRESLEY LYRICS TO ME!" I'm all shook up…
  4. What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today? Scratching at the inside of his coffin.
  5. A bus full of Elvis enthusiasts has crashed on their way to an Elvis convention. Witnesses say no one was injured but they're all shook up.
  6. At a party, I went to get a fruit cocktail and had to queue behind Elvis, Sasquatch and a Pterodactyl, and I thought to myself… This is a really weird punchline.
  7. I've just received a phone call saying I've won £250 or 2 tickets for an elvis presley tribute show... ...it said press 1 for the money, 2 for the show
  8. Saw a guy in the power tool department at home depot who looked a lot like Elvis. Returned a sander.
  9. I was asked to be an Elvis impersonator for a kid's birthday party. I showed up drunk, shot the TV, then died on the toilet.
  10. I was just on the phone with a company that said I won my choice of either $500 or tickets to see an Elvis Presley tribute band... I had to press 1 for the money or 2 for the show!

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Elvis One Liners

Which elvis one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with elvis? I can suggest the ones about rock and roll and guitar.

  1. Why can't Elvis drive his car in reverse? He's dead
  2. What was Elvis Presley's last greatest hit? The bathroom floor.
  3. I don't understand how Elvis got so fat He ate nothing but a hound dog
  4. What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley
  5. Who is Santa's favorite singer? Elf-is Presley!
  6. My pet mouse Elvis died last night. He got caught in a trap.
  7. What was Elvis's last greatest hit? His head on the corner of the sink.
  8. Thank you for calling ELVIS Direct Press 1 for the money
    2 for the show
  9. My pet mouse "Elvis" died yesterday... He was caught in a trap.
  10. What do you call a middle eastern Elvis Presley impersonator? Amal Shookup
  11. Want to hear my tribute to Elvis? Thanks, Elvis.
  12. What gets all shook up and comes on your salad? Elvis Parsley.
  13. What do you call an Elvis Presley lookalike that's 5'4"? Elvish Presley
  14. What is a carnivore's favorite Elvis song? Love Meat Tender
  15. What do you call an herb that sings? Elvis Parsley.

Elvis Presley Jokes

Here is a list of funny elvis presley jokes and even better elvis presley puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I have an idea for a chain of Elvis Presley steak houses. It will be for people who love meat tender.
  • Watch out for a scam phone call. The caller says, You have won $1.000.000 dollars
    or Tickets to an Elvis Presley tribute Concert.
    Just press 1 for the money or 2 for the show.
  • Dont know if this is a scam but just got a text saying i won £250 or two tickets to elvis presley tribute act... Says text 1 for the money or 2 for the show
  • Elvis Presley's biggest number 1 was "It's Now Or Never." His biggest number 2 killed him.
  • Elvis Presley reportedly sent back shoes because they said "Made In China". He always wanted a little less Converse Asian
  • To celebrate the launch of the new website we are offering one lucky winner $50 in cash or a meal for 2 at an Elvis Presley tribute. Just comment '1' for the money or '2' for the show.
  • Why can't Elvis Presley drive? 'Cause he's dead.
  • Elvis Presley would never call me his friend... because I've never caught a rabbit.
  • What was the chicken eating pirate's favorite Elvis Presley song? Yargh! "Love Me Tender," matey!
  • I asked the hairdresser to cut my hair like Elvis Presley. He said, "Uhuh, I can do that...thank you very much."

Elvis Impersonators Jokes

Here is a list of funny elvis impersonators jokes and even better elvis impersonators puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I got a text today It read:
    You have won £500 or the chance to see an Elvis impersonator show!!!
    Reply 1 for the money, 2 for the show.
  • How many Elvis impersonators does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One for the money, two for the show.
  • I asked my agent what time I should arrive to be paid for the Elvis impersonation gig. He said it's 1 for the money.
  • What do you call a Pakistani Elvis impersonator? Amal Shookup.
  • What did the Elvis impersonator sing? Braillehouse Rock.
  • What do you call a Muslim Elvis Impersonator? Alam Shookup.
  • I can't believe no one liked my Elvis impersonation Personally, I think that having a drug overdose on the c**... was spot on.
Elvis joke, I can't believe no one liked my Elvis impersonation

Elvis Birthday Jokes

Here is a list of funny elvis birthday jokes and even better elvis birthday puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What does Elvis Presley do after s**...? He buys a new Cadillac for her sixteenth birthday
Elvis joke, What does Elvis Presley do after s**...?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about elvis can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of elvis puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Gather Around for Fun Elvis Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about elvis you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean singer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make elvis prank.

I got a phone call from my son's school today

Hello, is that Mr Jenkins?
Yes, how can I help you?
Hi, This is little Billy's music teacher calling
Oh, hi
Yeah, hi. I just wanted to let you know it looks like you have a little Elvis Presley on your hands!
Really? Wow! That's..
Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet

Tatoos of Elvis

A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a picture of Elvis be tattooed high up on her left thigh.
The tattoo guy complies, but when he's done, the woman looks at the result and says "That doesn't look like Elvis at all!"
The guy says, "I can't do anything to remove it, but I could try again on the other thigh".
The woman agrees, but when all is done, she thinks that the new tattoo looks nothing like Elvis, either and refuses to pay.
The tattoo artist makes a proposal, "Ma'am, I'll ask a customer in the waiting room to come in and have a look at the tattoos. If he can identify Elvis, you pay me. Otherwise, you owe me nothing."
The woman agrees. A customer is called in and the woman, dropping her pants and spreading her legs, says "Do you recognize these famous musicians?"
The guy looks, thinks for a minute, then says "I don't know about the twins, but the one in the middle with the beard and bad breath is definitely w**... Nelson."

I'm devastated. My pet rat Elvis just died.

He was caught in a trap

What do you call a donkey with three legs?

A wonkey.
What do you call a one eyed, three legged donkey?
A winky wonkey.
What do you call a Chinese, one eyed, three legged donkey?
A c**... winky wonkey.
What do you call an Elvis impersonating, Chinese, one eyed, three legged donkey?
A h**...-tonky c**... winky wonkey.

What do MLK, Elvis, and the Houston Oilers have in common?

They all died in Tennessee

Just received a text message...

Just received a text message telling me I've won a competition! The prizes are £500 cash or front row tickets to see an Elvis tribute act. I don't know if its a scam though?
It says to press 1 for the money and 2 for the show.

What does Elvis wear on his feet when he can't find his Blue Suede Shoes?

His Jailhouse Crocs

Elvis was driving down the highway when he got into an accident.

The paramedics found him and realised he was in shock and so they told him, "Mr. Presley, we need you to step out of the vehicle, you're all shook up."
"Uhuh huh"

STILL THE KING

I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley -- the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you're still the King.

Beware of a new scam message going around

I just got a text message saying "Congratulations you are the winner of the Elvis tribute competition.
You have a choice of two prizes you can take,
Option 1 is £50.00
Option 2 is for 2 tickets to an Elvis tribute concert
To make your choice
text
1 for the money or 2 for the show
(disclaimer: stolen from my Facebook feed. Never seen this joke before and wanted to share)

The wife says she's leaving me because of my obsession with Elvis.

But I don't mind; cause since my baby left me, I've found a new place to dwell.

I always wanted to become the world's youngest Elvis impersonator. My childhood was nonstop guitar practice voice training and dance class. I went to countless auditions before ever hitting puberty My performance was flawless but every time but every audition ended the same way...

... they looked me right in my face & said sorry kid you don't have the Chops.

If Elvis was alive, what would he being doing today?

Screaming, clawing, and b**... on the inside of his coffin.

I had a pet mouse named Elvis when i was a kid, but he suddenly died one day.

He got caught in a trap

I called to buy tickets for an Elvis tribute act and it was one of those automated phone system which said...

Press 1 for the money, 2 for the show…

Just got a text message but I think it's a scam.....

It says congratulations you have won £500 or four tickets to an Elvis tribute act.
press one for the money, or two for the show.

Which Elvis song, is his most painful?

Caught in a trap.

Please be careful!!!!! don't know if this is a scam, I've just received a phone call saying I've won tickets for an Elvis Presley tribute show then it said.

Just press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.

What do you call a sad jazz musician?

Elvis Depressley

Elvis climbs out of his swimming pool..

..watched by his wife Priscilla. As soon as he climbs out he falls back in again. This happens over and over until finally Priscilla asks him what's going on.
"I just can't help falling in, love."

What wasn't Elvis Presley's last hit?

h**...

My son's music teacher called me "your son is just like Elvis!"

"Is he an equally talented singer?" I asked.
"No", she replied. "We found him dead on a toilet."

I want people's opinions to help me decide something...

I've just received an automated phone call saying I've won either £250 cash or 2 tickets for an Elvis Presley tribute concert. Should I press 1 for the money or 2 for the show?

Teacher: Your son is just like Elvis

Parents: Oh really? How?
Teacher: We found him dead on the c**....

What would Elvis be doing if he were alive today ?

k**... and screaming let me out from inside his coffin.

So I got a call from my son's music teacher...

She told me, "Hey, your son is just like Elvis Presley!"
I was a little shocked. "That's... is he that talented?!"
To which she replied, "Oh no, we found him dead on the toilet."

What's the difference between Elvis and a millennial's spirit?

Some people still think Elvis is alive

An Elvis Presley fan decides to get his likeness tattooed on each of her thighs.

However, she was not entirely pleased with the end result. One night, during a particularly successful tinder date, she decided to get a second opinion. Flipping on the lights and lifting her frock she asked her date "Does this look like Elvis to you?" After a moment of careful study, her date replied "I don't know about Elvis, but the one in the middle looks like w**... Nelson."

A friend told me that there is a place the celebrities go after they fake their deaths. Michael Jackson is there. Elvis. Tupac.

I thanked him for telling me about this
He replied "No Biggie."

Elvis joke, My pet mouse Elvis died last night.

jokes about elvis

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these elvis jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.