Elton John Jokes
73 elton john jokes and hilarious elton john puns to laugh out loud. Read celebrity jokes about elton john that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Elton John Short Jokes
Short elton john jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The elton john humour may include short eric clapton jokes also.
- Apparently, Elton John owns a pygmy rabbit that is super hyper and runs all the time. It's a little, fit bunny.
- Elton John discovered some high-end denims and decided to throw out his regular Levi's. He said good bye normal jeans.
- In 1982 Elton John attended one of Queen's concerts, but was shortly hospitalized afterwards. Turns out they found traces of Mercury in him.
- elton John thinks that "sorry" seems to be the hardest word. He clearly hasn't been to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.
- What does Harry Potter and Elton John have in common? Both of them have spent a portion of their lives in a closet.
- I took a piano lesson with Elton John... He was so nice, he even offered to push in my stool.
- They found a 106-year-old fruitcake in Antarctica That's right. They found Elton John in Antarctica.
- They threw me in jail for singing too much Elton John... I'm not sure when I'll get out, but I think it's gonna be a long, long time.
- Elton John was asked if he'd like an iceberg lettuce in his salad he thought for a moment and replied "no thanks, I'm a rocket man"
- Before taking lessons, Elton John first learned how to play the piano by ear. I still think it was easier to use my fingers.
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Elton John One Liners
Which elton john one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with elton john? I can suggest the ones about elvis presley and john lennon.
- Elton John bought his pet rabbit to the gym... "It's a little fit bunny...."
- I have a pun about Elton John It's a little bit funny...
- Elton John has never had a parrot But he's had a cockatoo
- Elton John's gained a notable amount of weight lately. Goodbye, normal jeans.
- Neil Patrick Harris and Elton John are so much alike... I can never get them straight.
- How do you tell Elton John his flies are undone? His candle's in the wind.
- Just watched Elton John's new standup act... It's a little bit funny.
- What was Jesus' least favorite Elton John song? "Take Me to the Pilate"
- Why did Elton John go to Radio City Music Hall? He wanted to be a Rockette Man
- What does Elton John have after getting drunk at an Italian restaurant? Penne and regrets
- I thought Elton John fell down a flight of stairs. Turns out he's still standing.
- Apparently, Elton John has never owned a parrot But he's certainly had a cockatoo.
- I've got an annoying habit of quoting Elton John lyrics... ...I hope you don't mind.
- What is Oedipus Rex's Mom's favorite Elton John song? Don't Let The Son Go Down On Me
- Elton John hates ordering Chinese food Soya seems to be the hardest word
Entertaining Elton John Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about elton john you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean elvis impersonators jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make elton john pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An octopus walks into a bar and sees a band playing in the corner, composed of those bar-room heroes, the Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman. He walks up and says “I’m the best musician in the world. I can play any instrument you like”.
So the English guy goes “Alright then. Play this” and hands him a guitar.
The octopus plays it better than Jimi Hendrix, better than Chuck Berry, better than anyone and hands him back the guitar.
The Irishman says “Okay, how about this?” and shows him to the piano.
The octopus sits down and plays it like never before – Better than j**... Lee Lewis and Elton John.
The best pianist ever.
Finally, a Scotsman says “Alright, let’s see ya play this then” and hands him a set of bagpipes.
The octopus looks at them and fumbles with them.
Couple more minutes and he’s still struggling and there’s no sound coming out.
Couple more minutes and still nothing so the Scotsman says “Oh, so can you not play it then?”
And the octopus says “Play it? I’m gonna f*c**... her when I get her pyjamas off”
What's green with a brown tip?
The cucumbers in Elton John's fridge.
[OC] What's Elton John's favorite kind of conditioner?
Levon.
Who was the only British queen to be knighted?
Elton John
Out of all the fruits out there, tell me your favorite.
Mine is Sir Elton John.
What's Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Elton John.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Elton John just launched a women's l**... line.. "And you can tell everybody this is your thong"
Did you hear about the upcoming play based on the life of Elton John?
It's a little bit funny.
What's pink and sits on a piano chair?
Elton's John
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the Elton John wax d**... get down voted?
Because it was fake and gay.
Wasn't Elton John really rich before he got famous?
Yeah, I think he was one of those Rocketfellers
What did Elton John call his tribute to Mother Teresa?
Sandals in the Bin
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does Elton John play the piano?
Because he s**... on an o**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did Elton John and his wife never have s**...?
Because they were married.
You would've thought Elton John would have better fashion sense...
Seeing as he spent so much time in the closet
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What'**... more ball than tiger woods?
Elton John's chin
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Elton John?
Only one of them got to be Queen of England...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Q. What did george michael sing at Elton John's wedding?
A. "Don't let your son go down on me."
I saw a girl busking today.
She had a great voice and an even better pair of legs, emphasised by the short skirt she was wearing.
"Any requests?" She asked the watching crowd.
"Your thong," I replied with a wink.
Everyone gasped in horror, and the girl slapped me.
It's tough being an Elton John fan with a lisp.
Elton John and Miley Cyrus win best original rendition by an original artist at the 2018 Grammy Awards
For best original cover of Tony Danza
What's Elton John's favourite kind of pasta?
PENNE
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What face lotion does Elton John use?
Oil of Oldgay.
What's your favorite fruit?
Mine is Elton John. Man, can he play the piano!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear Elton John just broke up with his husband?
Yeah...he caught him having s**... behind his back.
Elton John
On vacation, Elton John finds himself meandering in a Mediterranean orchard. Spying a tree, Elton decides to relive some boyhood memories and climb a tree, albeit only the first branch.
As Elton sits, his well-heeled (and sparkly) feet dangling, a local boy walks by. Waving, Elton call out, "Would you like anything?"
"Fig!" The boy yells back.
Offended, Elton crosses his arms. "What did you call me?"
"No," the boy replies, pointing, "THAT low hanging fruit!"
A documentary of when Elton John developed anger problems and went to anger management.
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road Rage.
Elton John famously detests ice burg lettuce
He's more of a Rocket Man
Have you heard Elton John's new Xmas song about a reindeer with stunted growth?
....Tiny Prancer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did Elton John get so good on the piano?
Bc he s**... on the o**... (badum chsss)
Downvotes=gaylove=me
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Elton John is a great pianist
but I hear he s**... on the o**...
Elton John gets stopped by police
The officers however don't recognise him, and Elton shows the a picture online.
Officer 1: I'm so sorry sir, we didn't recognise you
Officer 2: yes but you were doing 55 in a 40 sir elton so, can we see your license?
The next day Elton is locked in a cell, screaming out : I didn't do anything!
The officers replied: speeding and fraud? You call that nothing
Elton: but I'm not a fraud
Officer: yeah right, you had a fake license, who the he'll is Reginald Dwight?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Elton John did so much l**... at a party one night, he tried to have s**... with a woman...
Dude was straight trippin'
Shock Rocker Alice Cooper says he's taken up Tap Dancing during lockdown, with online group lessons every Wednesday
He says he's making slow progress, but doing better than Elton John, who - after six weeks - is still standing.
