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Eliminate Jokes

31 eliminate jokes and hilarious eliminate puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about eliminate that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Eliminate Short Jokes

Short eliminate jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The eliminate humour may include short erase jokes also.

  1. Hey girl, are you an obelisk? Because I'm trying to find out what an obelisk is through process of elimination.
  2. On a first date: Her - So what do you do?
    Me - I am currently working on eliminating all cancers.
    Her - Wow, that's impressive!
    Me - Then I'll move onto Capricons.
  3. I am a parent of a one year old and I support anti vaxxer parents and super thankful of them. They help me eliminate future competition that my kid will go against. From fortnite to Harvard.
  4. Life is pretty much like Netflix If you eliminate your standards completely, there's more to enjoy
  5. Ghana has eliminated the U.S. from last two World Cups... They're probably Ghana do it again.
  6. [On a date] Her: So, what do you do? Him: I'm working on eliminating all cancers.
    Her: Wow! That's really impressive.
    Him: Then I'll move on to Capricorns.
  7. Betsy DeVos wants to eliminate trigonometry from school math curricula because it teaches our children to sin
  8. There's a detective who figures out crime by sitting on the toilet. He solves cases by process of elimination.
  9. Parallel Parking They say that the worst problem with parallel parking is the witnesses.
    But if you are really bad at it, you can eliminate that problem.
  10. Did you know UPS consulted Matthew McConaughey to help UPS eliminate inefficient left turns on deliveries? He told them, "All right all right all right"

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Eliminate One Liners

Which eliminate one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with eliminate? I can suggest the ones about wipe out and evacuate.

  1. What would you call ISIS after they've been eliminated? WASWAS.
  2. What Olympic event that involves throwing should be eliminated? Discuss
  3. A high jumper walks into a bar and is eliminated.
  4. ISIS has a new plan for eliminating Americans. They donate to the NRA.
  5. Stalin would do well in my math class: He's got a lot of practice solving by elimination.
  6. A limbo contestant walks into a bar... ...and is eliminated from the competition.
  7. I am currently working on eliminating all cancers Virgos are next
  8. How do you pass a biology test on excretion? Process of elimination.
  9. My immune system is racist Every time it finds a foreign body it tries to eliminate it.
  10. How does Sherlock Holmes go to the bathroom? OC By process of elimination.
  11. Which rapper never gets eliminated from tournaments? Wiz Qualifa.
  12. Most rappers got eliminated from the tournament, but not Wiz. Wiz Qualifa.
  13. An athlete walks into a bar And gets eliminated from the high jump competition
  14. Why are there no Jewish wrestlers? Because of the Elimination Chamber.
  15. What kind of footwear do Whitewalkers use? The Hodor-eliminating kind.

Eliminate joke, What kind of footwear do Whitewalkers use?

Comical Eliminate Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about eliminate you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean throw away jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make eliminate pranks.

After his team was eliminated from the World Cup,

The Nigerian captain personally offered to refund all expenses that fans of his country paid for to travel to Brazil.
According to sources close to the player, he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transactions.

In the Irish army there is a s**... famous for eliminating targets by bouncing his shots off of rocks and other hard surface

His name is Rick O'Shea

Kiss The Mirror

A middle school for girls was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called several of the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how much work they were making for the custodian, she asked him to clean one of the mirrors while the girls watched. The custodian took a long-handled brush, dipped it into the nearest toilet, and proceeded to scrub the mirror. From that day on, the problem of lip prints on the mirrors was completely eliminated.

A woman walks into a dry cleaners....

She says to the guy at the counter "Hopefully you have the expertise to apply a suitable chemical procedure to eliminate this unsightly blemish from my favourite frock."
He says, "Come again?"
She says, "No, it's mayonnaise this time."

Agreement

My wife and I have an agreement that works...
She is responsible for the small decisions, and I am responsible for the big ones.
This means that she decides things like where to take our next vacation, the color of our next car, and the construction budget for adding on the new family room.
I decide whether or not the President should extend most favored nation trading status to China, how high the Federal Reserve should go with short term interest rates, and the timetable for the elimination of CFCs from automobile air conditioners.

Eliminate joke, A limbo contestant walks into a bar...