Eligibility Jokes
14 eligibility jokes and hilarious eligibility puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about eligibility that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Eligibility Short Jokes
Short eligibility jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The eligibility humour may include short jokes also.
- An electrician goes to the bank to open a Savings Account… turns out he's only eligible for a Current Account
- BREAKING: American Jazz musician sentenced to 12 months in prison, legally changes name Felonious Monk will be eligible for parole in 6 months
- My online coffee bean order wasn't eligible for overnight delivery. They told me they only ship ground.
- I just celebrated my 20th wedding anniversary today... Does this mean I'm eligible for parole now??
- Why are so many eligible women choosing to settle down with dolphin trainers? They live life with porpoise
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Eligibility Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about eligibility you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make eligibility pranks.
Entrance Exam
A recent entrance exam for Medical School included several questions that would determine eligibility.
One of the questions was "Rearrange the letters P N E S I to spell out an important part of the human body that is more useful when e**...."
Those who spelled 'spine' became Doctors.
The rest ended up in Congress.
Army commando recruitment - from India
A Man was being interviewed for the post of a Commando in Army.
Interviewer: "We want a person with a suspicious mind; always alert, merciless; ready to attack; high sense of hearing & most importantly; having a killer instinct. So Do you think you are eligible?"
Man: "No Sir; but can my Wife apply?"
Medical School Entrance Exam...
When I was young (100 yrs. Ago) and my intent was to go to medical school, the entrance exam included several questions that would determine eligibility.
One of the questions was "Rearrange the letters P N E S I to spell out an important part of the human body that is more useful when e**...."
Those who spelled "SPINE" became Doctors. The rest ended up in Congress.
An old joke in my native language.
In a country, all the idiots lived together in a big town. One day, their leader dies. He had two children. Both of them were eligible to be the leader. They were quite confused who should be their leader. So, they visit a saint for advice.
The saint says: "Whoever will answer my question correctly will be the king of idiots..
..and the question is: **If a rooster sits on a tower, and lays an egg, in which direction will the egg fall?**"
A Scottish Terrier walks into a bank
He sits at the desk of the Loan Officer, a Ms. Patty Black. He asks if he's eligible for a small business loan.
Do you have any collateral? , Patty asks.
I do have this, replies the Terrier, rooting around in his bag and pulling out a small porcelain figurine.
I'm not sure if we can accept this, says Patty. Let me ask my manager.
Patty calls her manager over and explains the situation. The manager says
It's a knickknack, Patty Black, give the dog a loan.
A man was being interviewed for a job in CIA
Interviewer: We want a person with suspicious mind, always alert, merciless, ready to attack, acute sense of hearing, detective ability and most importantly having a killer Instinct. So, do you think you are eligible?
Man: Sir... Can my wife apply?
A man was being interviewed for job in the army
The general asks the man: We want a person with a suspicious mind, one who is always alert. Merciless and ready to attack. Someone who has an acute sense of hearing and has detective ability. And most importantly having a killer instinct!
So do you think you are eligible?
The man replies: Sir... can my wife apply!???
I have a civil service joke to tell
…but before you can hear it you need to complete Form P-994731XT, in triplicate, then have it notarized, then file it with the Department of Jokes, who will review it within 120 days, and if it is approved they'll issue you a Form 771F, which, when filed with the IRS authorizes you to receive an appropriate tax status for said joke, after which upon completion of Form 11 and re-submission to the Department of Jokes you are eligible to enter the Joke Receipt Pool, after which you should receive your joke in 18-24 months.
No such thing as a free yatch [Long]
A salesman talked my uncle into buying 10,000 personalized pens for his business with the promise that
he would be eligible to win a 32-foot yacht. A born gambler, my uncle agreed.
Well, he won, and a few weeks after the pens arrived, his prize showed up: a 12-inch plastic yacht with
32 plastic feet glued to the bottom.