Elf Jokes

103 elf jokes and hilarious elf puns to laugh out loud. Read holiday jokes about elf that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Elf Short Jokes

Short elf jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The elf humour may include short reindeer jokes also.

  1. Warrior: I swear I will have my revenge for the death of my brother! Elf: You have my bow.
    Dwarf: And my axe.
    Necromancer: And your brother.
  2. The Hero: I'm on a quest to avenge the death of my Father! The Paladin: You have my sword!
    The Elf: And my bow!
    The Dwarf: And my axe!
    The Necromancer: And your father!
  3. When is a pixie not a pixie? When she's got her head down an elf's pants, then she's a goblin.
  4. Why wasn't the elf allowed to use the step ladder to decorate the Christmas tree? Because of 'elf and safety restrictions.
  5. Dad Joke Don't care what my 10yo daughter does or says from this forward, I'll always be a proud Father…
    She asked me what do you call a Elf that just won the lottery… Welfy
  6. What is Father Christmas's tax status? What is Father Christmas's tax status?
  7. What do elves learn in preschool? Not the elf-abet, no; they don't learn anything because they don't exist.
  8. Did you guys hear about the elf who got tangled up in sleigh bells on his way back to Santa's workshop? They said he jingled all the way.
  9. Almost everyone at the North Pole becomes extremely anxious whenever Santa feels depressed That's when he's most likely to elf harm.
  10. At Santa's workshop, there are no Christmas bonuses. Why not? Because they're all elf-employed.

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Elf One Liners

Which elf one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with elf? I can suggest the ones about christmas and ogre.

  1. A human, an elf and a dwarf walk into a bar... The Hobbit laughs and walks under it.
  2. What's the rudest type of Elf? The GofuckyoursELF
  3. Why did the elf have to play with Mega Bloks? Because he was Legoless
  4. What sort of elf lives in a can? A sprite
  5. When is an elf not an elf? When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin.
  6. Did Rudolph go to school? No. He was Elf-taught!
  7. What do you call a workplace accident at the North Pole? Shelf on the elf.
  8. Who is Santa's favorite singer? Elf-is Presley!
  9. What do you call an elf with a personal trainer? Elfy.
  10. What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
  11. What would you call Dobby, the house elf, if he were a really good speaker? Dolby.
  12. What do you call a house elf that edits documents? A-Dobby.
  13. Which elf was the best singer? Elfis Presley
    (I'll get my coat)
  14. What's the best thing about working for Santa Claus? Universal elf care.
  15. why was santa's little helper so depressed? he had low elf esteem!

Christmas Elf Jokes

Here is a list of funny christmas elf jokes and even better christmas elf puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call an Elf that sings? A wrapper!
    Merry Christmas.
    I hope you got what you wished for. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • Why was Santa forced to shut his grotto? He was being investigated by the Elf and Safety Executive.
    Only 341 days 'til Christmas!
  • Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? Because he had a low "elf" esteem!
  • Why is Christmas dinner at Santa's always a buffet? Because it is elf-service
  • Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas? Elf and safety
  • What do you call an elf that got no toys for Christmas? Lego-less
  • I never imagined saying my favorite Christmas movie would star Will Ferrell... but it looks like Elf rose over.
  • How is Santa able to get his personal Christmas shopping done so quickly? He gets it right off the elf.
  • What will Tesla build this christmas to help santa deliver presents? An elf driving car
  • Did you know that Santa's not allowed to go down chimneys this year? It was declared unsafe by the Elf and Safety Commission.

Elf On The Shelf Jokes

Here is a list of funny elf on the shelf jokes and even better elf on the shelf puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • You've heard of Elf on a Shelf, but have you heard... Jeffrey Epstein definitely didn't kill himself.
  • Whats the Jewish version of Elf on a Shelf Mensch on a bench
  • My great uncle Chuck started the elf on a shelf tradition. Well, actually, he was a drunk on a bunk, but we toned it down for the kids.
  • You have heard of elf on a shelf ? now we have..... Pell in a cell
  • [Possibly OC] Objectifying women has been going on since mythical times. For example, in Greek mythology, a female elf was called a Shelf.
  • Elf on the shelf? In my neighborhood we get roach on the coach.
  • If you've heard of elf on a shelf I'm not suprised
  • Clown on the shelf Works waaaay better than a s**... elf.

Keebler Elf Jokes

Here is a list of funny keebler elf jokes and even better keebler elf puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did Han Solo say to the Keebler elf who complained he couldn't understand Chewbacca? Sorry friend, that's the way the Wookiee mumbles.
  • AG Sessions is a Keebler elf isolationist and he is afraid w**... is making cookies too mainstream

Gather Around for Heartwarming Elf Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about elf you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fairies jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make elf pranks.

What's the rudest kind of elf? n**...

A go fuckyourself

An Elf, a Dwarf, and a Hobbit walk into a bar...

All three proceed to eat, drink and have a good time, slamming down pint after pint of ale until finally the pub was closing. The bartender asks them how he should split the tab as it was a pretty hefty sum.
"I got this," replies the Elf as he looks at the bill. "My two friends here are always a little short anyway."

What happens when you s**... an elf of all his legos?

He becomes Legolas. . .

I like to imagine my fingers as the races of Middle Earth...

The thumb is the dwarf because it's stout
The pinkie is the hobbit because it's diminutive
The index is the elf because it's the most dexterous
The ring is the human because they were given the most rings
And the middle is the orc... because it's the rudest

Two elves are winding down in the North Pole bar after a long day of making toys.

After downing some shots of peppermint schnapps, the first elf says to the second, That COVID outbreak in China has really messed up the toy production schedule. I don't think Santa has ever pushed us so hard! .
The second one added, Yeah, things were so bad today that Rudolph and Blitzen were even called in to work on the assembly line.
The first one got an odd look on his face and said, Well, that explains why those Raisinets I found on the floor tasted so strange.

A judge is hearing a m**... trial.

Imp and her spirite-elf that was killed and the suspect, a 16 year old who's represented by his father, Ep.
After hearing the case, the judge decides.
Ep's teen didn't kill Imp's elf.

This one's for the D&D players. A human, an elf and a dragonborn walk into a bar.

The gnome and halfling walk underneath perfectly fine.

in india, muslim guy used to get divorce just bay saying the word 'talaq' 3 times. i found a joke based on it.

Wife: What I really hate about this house is the lack...
Husband: the lack....
Wife: the lack!
Husband: the lack?
Wife: yeah the lack of...
Husband: the lack o-
Wife: aye Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf
Husband: Damnnnnnn Fatima.

What does a diabetic elf need?


What do you get when you mix an elf and a scientologist?

Elrond Hubbard!

I think I'm ready to declare Elf of the year already:

Epstein didn't kill hims Elf.

The United Kingdom is to provide special support to those self-identify as gnomes, fairies or pixies...

It'll be known as the National Elf Service.

For German-speakers: How many helpers does Weihnachtsmann have?


An Elf, an Orc, and a Dragonborn walk into a bar...

There's no punchline, it's just a fantasy of mine.

Ice Bank Mice Elf

(repeat this 10 times fast)

Who's Santa's rudest elf?

Gofuckyours elf.

I saw a garden elf

On the subway today muttering to himself click.... click.... click.... click....
He was a metro gnome.

The elf in the Fellowship of the Ring must not have had that great of a childhood.

Since there's no plastic in middle earth, he was lego-less

What do you call a selfish elf?


Why did Santa have to close his toy factory?

Elf and safety!

What do you call a singing elf

A wrapper

Here in about 50 years, when Harry Potter is on its 5th reboot, this time with an all house elf cast, the author will be

J. K. Rowling over in her grave.

What do you call an elf that won't shut up?


What's the first thing an elf learns in school?

The elf-abet...

How do you enslave a house elf?

By doing its laundry.

By taking into account this year's string of s**... accusations, I can say with confidence that... was nice knowing you Mr. Claus. But seriously, why that elf???

What did the dragon say to the elf?

What do you call a plastic elf?


How many elves does a german santa have?


The place I store my loud elf

Shhh elf

What do you call an elf singer?

Elvish Presley

Eomer gets off of his horse and says, "What business does an elf, a man and a dwarf have in the Riddermark?"

A nearby horseman answers, "Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!"

What body regulates the welfare of Santa's workers?

The Elf and Saftey Executive.

What's the saddest kind of elf?


An original, courtesy of my 8 year old niece. If you are an elf in your 5th year at school, how old would you be?

Yeah, me either.

What is the first name of the most rude elf of all?


Is Eminem an elf?

Because he is a rap god.

jokes about elf