Elevator Jokes
165 elevator jokes and hilarious elevator puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about elevator that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of elevator jokes. From puns to one-liners, we've got jokes to make you smile.
Quick Jump To
- Short Elevator Jokes
- Elevator One Liners
- Elevator Guy Jokes
- Elevator Buttons Jokes
- Stuck In Elevator Jokes
- Elevator Fart Jokes
- Elevator Operator Jokes
- More Elevator Jokes
Funniest Elevator Short Jokes
Short elevator jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The elevator humour may include short escalator jokes also.
- In Britain we call it a "lift" but Americans call it an "elevator". I guess we're just raised differently.
- Why do they call them lifts in the UK & elevators in the US? Because we're raised differently.
- You know why I hate elevators? Half the time they are up to something, the other half they are just bringing you down. I should really start taking steps to avoid them..
- In the UK we call them lifts but in the US they call them elevators Because we're raised differently.
- Today I started an argument with my wife while riding in an elevator. I was wrong on so many levels.
- A blonde and a brunette got stuck in an elevator.. Blonde starts shouting: "HELP! HELP!"
Brunette turns to her and says: "We should shout together."
Blonde: "TOGETHER! TOGETHER!" - Ray rice got caught punching his girlfriend in an elevator It was wrong on so many levels.
- My friends 10 yo daughter made this up while in the elevator today: "Did you know Darth Vader has another daughter?" Mom: "No, who?"
Daughter: "Ella, Ella Vader." - Two drunks are crawling on the railroad. One says "I'm tired of climbing this ladder, when's our floor already?"
"No worries, I see an elevator coming." - Have you heard about the elevator conspiracy? Hundreds of people are saying they got stuck between floors. But I don't believe them. I think they made it up.
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Elevator One Liners
Which elevator one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with elevator? I can suggest the ones about stair lift and staircase.
- I've recently developed a severe phobia of elevators. I'm taking steps to avoid them.
- I'm terrified of elevators. So I'm taking steps to mitigate my fears.
- I have a fear of elevators... ...but I'm taking steps to avoid it.
- I'm terrified of elevators I take steps to avoid them
- I'm deathly afraid of elevators I'm gonna start taking steps to avoid them
- I've always been terrified of elevators. I think it's time I took steps to avoid them.
- What do you call an Asian in an elevator wong on so many levels
- How do you get over the fear of elevators? Just take some steps to avoid them.
- A standard elevator can hold 1700 lbs or 5 Tinder matches...
- I keep getting claustrophobic in elevators. I've been taking steps to avoid it.
- I'm not a fan of elevator music. It bothers me on so many levels.
- Elevators are more complex than you think. They work on so many levels.
- If you're afraid of elevators Take steps to avoid them.
- Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels.
- What's the difference between an elevator and my parents An elevator can raise a child
Elevator Guy Jokes
Here is a list of funny elevator guy jokes and even better elevator guy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Guy: We need to stop testing our products on buildings. Boss: Why, Elevator companies do it all the time?
Guy: Yeah but we make airplanes. - Today I was in the elevator with a guy who only rode to the second floor. He couldn't even bother to take one flight of stairs? How lazy. That's probably how he got to be in a wheelchair.
- There was a guy who REALLY hated the elevator. He took many steps to avoid it.
- The guy who invented the elevator should get a raise.
- This guy and I were arguing in an elevator when all of the sudden it turned into a fist fight We really took it to the next level
- Chinese guy making a mistake in the elevator Wong on so many levels
- Did you hear about the guy who had explosive diarrhea in an elevator? Apparently it was ascending
- The elevator guy in the heaven's main building is very popular... ... because he helps uplift everybody's spirits.
- You thought the co-workers on your floor are happy That guy coming out of the elevator is on a whole other level
- What's the different between a black guy and an elevator An elevator can actually raise a family
Elevator Buttons Jokes
Here is a list of funny elevator buttons jokes and even better elevator buttons puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the accordion teacher get a job as an elevator operator? He knew how to push all the right buttons.
- Don't feel bad about pressing the close door button when you see someone running for the elevator. If they have that much energy, they should take the stairs.
- What's the definition of a Russian elevator? A Chechen presses a button and five floors come down.
- How do they call elevator in China? Well,on a button like everywhere else in the world
- If a building has 12 floors and each one is named after a month, how do you call the elevator? By pressing the button
- A man and woman get on an elevator. He pushes a button and says, I'm on the second floor—where are you going? She replies, to two too.
- How do asians call an elevator? By pressing the button like everybody else.
- Some people press the button in the elevator with their thumb and others press it with their index finger. Why? To get to the right floor.
- Yo Mama is so fat, when she pressed the UP button on the elevator it went DOWN.
- Congratulations, If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode – really...
Stuck In Elevator Jokes
Here is a list of funny stuck in elevator jokes and even better stuck in elevator puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A blonde and a brunette are stuck in the elevator Blonde: Help! Help!
Brunette: We should yell together!
Blonde: Together! Together! - People stuck in an elevator called for help. They were let down.
- Two blondes are chatting about the power outage two days that occurred a day ago. Blonde 1: I was stuck in the elevator for two hours.
Blonde 2: I was stuck on the escalator for two hours. - Did you hear about the blonde who had her nose stuck between elevator doors? She got quite a facelift.
- Did you hear about the woman who had her nose stuck in an elevator door? She got a facelift.
- Seinfeld should have done an episode where they get stuck in an elevator. It would have really taken the whole 'show about nothing' to the next level.
- So a tour group got stuck in an elevator... I hear it was an ell' of a tour.
- Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
- Uber Why was the elevator stuck downtown?
He couldn't get a Lyft - I got stuck in a elevator in a glue factory.
Elevator Fart Jokes
Here is a list of funny elevator fart jokes and even better elevator fart puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If there are two people in an elevator and one of them farts everybody knows who did it.
- 9 Clowns in an elevator, one of them silently farts. One leans over to another and wispers..."You smell something funny?".
- My dad f**... on an elevator. It was wrong on so many levels
- You should never f**... in an elevator It's wrong on so many levels
- From my 6 year-old: Why shouldn't you f**... in an elevator? Because it's wrong on so many levels.
- With losing your sense of smell from COVID-19 being a symptom, I no longer call it f**... in a crowded elevator. I call it a free COVID-19 test
- f**... on an elevator It's rude on so many levels
- I f**... in the elevator today Which was wrong on so many levels ..
- I heard about the ideal gas law in physics class PV=nRT… and I heard non-ideal gas law in a crowded elevator PU=f**...
- I f**... in an elevator full of people, but no one reacted It must have been a noble gas.
Elevator Operator Jokes
Here is a list of funny elevator operator jokes and even better elevator operator puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I have a really good relatipnship with the elevator operator. We speak to eachother on so many different levels.
- Why do elevator operators hate Scott Stapp from Creed? He keeps asking them if they can take him higher.
- As I got out on the 21st floor, the elevator operator said, "Have a good day, son." "Son? You're not my dad!" I replied.
"No, but I brought you up, didn't I." - I got fired from my job for assuring my clients that I will never let them down I guess being an elevator operator isn't my forte
- Elevator operator seems like a decent career field Heard there's a lot of room to move up
- Was speaking to an elevator operator the other day, asked him how he enjoyed his line of work. He says "Oh, it has its ups and downs."
- Every job has its ups and downs... says the elevator operator quite literally
- I like my women as I like my elevator operator Nice and smiling
- Why are elevator operators bipolar? Their life always seems to be just up and down.
- What is it like working as an elevator operator? Good.
Fun-Filled Elevator Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about elevator you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stairway jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make elevator pranks.
I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said "Have a good day, son"
"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."
He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"
An Amish family visits a mall...
...the mother strolls along an aisle and experience modern life. The dad and the son, however, encounters an elevator.
"What is that, father?", the son asked.
"I don't know either, my son", replied the father, "Let's see what they use it for".
They then see an ugly, fat woman trudge into the elevator. The door shuts, and after a few minutes, a pretty lady walks out alone.
The father then said: "Go get your mother".
Every day, I take the elevator to get to my office.
My office is on the 12th floor, so I always take the elevator up to the 11th floor. I would take the elevator straight to the 12th floor, but that's another story.
So, I found my first gray p**... hair the other day.
I was way more excited about it than the other people on the elevator.
I had a t**... on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
I am quite old, so I wasn't shocked today during a
thorough inspection to find that I had a gray p**...
hair.
The other people on the elevator seemed pretty surprised, though.
Let's hear best "Confucius Say" jokes you got
My first Confucius Say joke was this:
>Confucius Says...Crowded Elevator Smell Different to Midget
Today while shaving in the shower I came up with this one
>Confucius Says...Man who shave n**... with straight razor will not have a ball
I just had s**... with a 16-year-old g**... an elevator...
It was wrong on so many levels.
A r**... family was visiting the city...
...and they were in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen nuthin'like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a large old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Boy, go git yo Momma."
Stock Market Report
Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remained unchanged.
The market for raisins dried up. Balloon prices were inflated. And toilet paper touched a new bottom.
Three old women are discussing how their memory isn't what it used to be.
The first woman says, "Sometimes, I'm in the elevator, and I don't remember if I'm going up or down."
"The second woman says, "sometimes, I have a bottle of mayonnaise in my hand, and I don't remember if I'm taking it out of the fridge or putting it back."
"The third woman says, "Well, I don't have any of those problems, knock wood," knocking on the table. "Oh, hold on a second, someone's at the door."
A guy wakes up from a coma.
His doctor asks him what he remembers.
- All i remember is getting on an elevator with a gorgeous woman and her husband. She had a beautiful cleavage and i couldn't stop staring at it. She then looked at me and told me "Can you please press one?".
What's black and white and can't turn around in an elevator?
A nun with a spear through her head.
What do you call an elevator with a group of slim, softly spoken, intelligent people inside?
A Lift
(only a joke, my American friends)
Boy VS Girl Friends
A Girl is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.
She says: You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you
The boyfriend says: Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these b**... with my elbow ?
Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?
The last joke my brother made up, before he passed away this week.
Him: "If my name was Ella, and I married Darth Vader. My name would be Elevator". s**... and corny, but it's exactly the kind of lame jokes he would make.
A man enters an elevator, and the operator asks him what floor he wants.
The man says "Eighteenth floor." After arriving, the doors open and the operator says "We are here, my son."
The man says "Thanks, but why did you call me your son?"
The operator replies "Because I have brought you up."
75 story hotel
Phil, Jim, and John were at a convention together sharing a large suite at the top of a . After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear the elevators were broken, and they now had to climb 75 flights of stairs.
Phil said to Jim and John,"let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something more interesting. Hmm, I'll tell jokes the first 25 floors, Jim, you can sing songs the next 25 floors and John you can say your collection of sad stories."
The others agreed and they started the climb for their hotel room. At the 26th floor Phil stopped with his jokes and Jim started his songs. At the 51st floor songs stopped and John's sad stories started.
"I guess I'll begin with my saddest story first. I forgot the room key in the car."
(EDIT) FIXED THE GRAMMAR d**...
A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator...
And a short man with dandruff gets on and then comes off on the next floor.
The brunette goes, "Wow, that guy could really use some Head and Shoulders."
The blonde says, "How do you give shoulders?"
No offense anyone...hehe
Three blondes get stuck in an elevator
They start panicking and one of the blonde screams "HELP!"...after 30 seconds the second blonde screams "HELP!". Then the third blonde screams "HELP!". Suddenly,one of the blondes speaks up "Hey,what if we scream simultaneously?". Then one of the blonde screams "Simultaneously!"
The Jewish Elbow
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301.
There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301.
I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these b**... with my elbow?
"What...you coming empty handed?"
What do ghosts do when they're sad?
They get in an elevator to lift their spirits.
Why do you never wanna see an elevator in a horror game?
Cuz you know something's about to go down.
Im sorry
I found my first grey p**... hair today.
However, i didn't freak out about it like the other people in the elevator.
r**... in an elevator is wrong....
on so many levels
What's the difference between an Ethiopian elevator sign and an British elevator sign?
British sign says " Maximum 6 People/500kg"
Ethiopian sign says "Maximum 500 People/6kg"
A man steps onto an elevator with a woman inside...
He asks her, "Where are you headed today Miss?"
She says, "I'm on my way to the blood bank to donate blood."
The man asks, "How much do you get for that?"
She responds, "$20."
He then says, "Really? I'm on my way to the s**... bank, they pay me $100."
She looks angry about that, and then they part ways.
The next day the man gets on the elevator again to see the same woman. He says, "What a coincidence seeing you again. Where are you headed today?"
She responds, "To the s**... bank." with her mouth full.
Two blondes and a brunette
One day two blondes and a brunette got stuck in an elevator.
One blonde starts to yell, Help!!!
Then the other one, Help!!!
The brunette suggests, Come on girls, let's scream together, it will be louder.
OK, agree the blondes, Together!!! Together!!!
Why did the ghost get in the elevator?
To lift his spirits.
What did the midget say to the gorgeous woman on a crowded elevator?
Your hair smells nice.
A group of friends all live on the 200th floor of a building
One day they all come back from a trip and find out that the elevator to their floor has shut down and is under repair, so they're forced to take the long walk up the stairs.
To make the walk up a little more exciting, they decide to each tell a sad, terrifying, or depressing story every 20 floors. When they finally get to the top, the tenth friend gets to tell his story.
"I think I left the keys in the car."
A man enters an elevator of a fine hotel and says "Ballroom please"
To which the lady standing in front of him replies "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was crowding you."
Vatican to elevate pope Francis to sainthood-report
Reports are emerging from the vatican that the current pope will be recommended for sainthood due to his compassion for his fellow man. When asked about the holy father's reaction, a vatican official said, 'In keeping with modern times, the pontiff would like to be the patron saint of email, St.Francis of a cc'
Why shouldnt you have s**... with your cousin in a moving elevator?
Because its wrong on every level
Two blondes get stuck in elevator
One of them starts yelling: HELP, HEEEELP
The other one then suggests: Maybe we should start yelling together
The first blonde starts yelling again: TOGETHER, TOGETHEEEEER
A blonde goes to a blood bank to earn a little money to pay the bills...
She steps into the elevator along with an attractive young man.
"Are you going to the blood bank too?" she inquires.
"no" he replies: "I go to the s**... bank, because I get four times the cash as I get for a pint of blood".
A week later, they meet again in the same elevator. The guy asks: " Off to the blood bank again?"
The blonde just shakes her head and says :" Mmm-Mmm"
I have a crippling fear of elevators.
I've started taking steps to avoid them.
Elevator music bothers me
On so many levels
I asked my neighbours if they knew who's the idiot that keeps leaving his trash bags in the elevator.
They didn't so for now I'm gonna keep doing that.
A sweet young girl walks into an elevator at Macy's, trailing a cloud of expensive perfume.
She brags to the elderly woman who was inside, Coco Chanel $900 per ounce.
The lift reaches the second floor where the old lady is about to get off. As she steps out of the elevator, she rips out a rumbling f**.... Trailing a heavy cloud, she smiles sweetly and announces, broccoli, 49 cents a pound.
Elevator confusion
A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator together and it stops to let a man on. The man is wearing a business suit and has obvious dandruff flakes on both shoulders. He says hello and gets out on the next floor. The women continues to ride in awkward silence when the brunette speaks up. She says, "Someone needs to give that guy some head and shoulders."
The blonde looks confused and replies. "How do you give a guy shoulders?"
A man and a woman are chatting in an elevator.
"What are you up to today?" he asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $20 a pint."
"Hmm ...," the man, says. "I'm going up to donate s**..., and the s**... bank pays $100 a tablespoon."
The woman gets a strange look on her face and gets off the elevator.
The next day, they meet in the elevator again.
The man asks, "So, where you off to today?"
"Fmerm mank," she says, with her mouth full.
I hate elevators.
I will take steps to avoid them.
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these b**... with my elbow?...
"What, you're coming empty handed?"
Earlier I was beaten up by a woman.
I was on an elevator and she entered. She has big b**... and I was staring at them when she said "Can you please press one".
So I did.
I just had s**... with someone in an elevator
It was wrong on so many levels
This young lad gets in the elevator, I'm standing by the b**..., so he says "fifth floor mate?"
When we get there I say "There you go, son" and he says "Don't call me son! You're not my dad!"
And I say "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"
My husband always takes the elevator, whereas I always prefer the stairs.
**I guess we are raised differently :/**
A blonde and a brunette are riding in an elevator...
At one point, a man steps aboard with dandruff all over his suit. He gets off a few floors later and the brunette turns to the blonde and whispers-
Now THAT'S a guy who could really use some Head & Shoulders!
The blonde looks perplexed:
How do you give somebody shoulders?
I jacked off on an elevator
It was wrong on so many levels
I'm terrified of elevators.
So I've decided that I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them.
A young, extremely perky woman gets into an elevator with an older man...
The woman smiles broadly and says, "TGIF"!
The man slowly turns to her and deadpans, "S.h.i.t."
The woman, thinking that he didn't hear her, slowly repeats "T.G.I.F."
He simply responds, "S.h.i.t.", just as slowly.
Exasperated, she laughs and says, "TGIF stands for Thank God It's Friday!, Silly!"
The man replies, "I know that but Sorry Honey, It's Thursday."
I have developed an irrational fear of elevators
Thankfully, I can take steps to avoid them.
A man defecated in an elevator
He took s**... to another level
An Amish man and his son are at a mall.
They're taken aback as they look around. The son points to an elevator and asks his father, "What is that?" The man says, "I don't know, son, but let's watch." An old, fat woman gets on and the metal doors slide shut. A few moments later the doors slide open and a gorgeous young blonde gets off. The man turns to his son and says, "Go get your mother."
There are several ways to get to the second floor. Some prefer the stairs, others the elevator.
I prefer the ladder.
