Following is our collection of funniest Elevator jokes. There are some elevator schindler jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these elevator leve puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."
He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"
...the mother strolls along an aisle and experience modern life. The dad and the son, however, encounters an elevator.
"What is that, father?", the son asked.
"I don't know either, my son", replied the father, "Let's see what they use it for".
They then see an ugly, fat woman trudge into the elevator. The door shuts, and after a few minutes, a pretty lady walks out alone.
The father then said: "Go get your mother".
My office is on the 12th floor, so I always take the elevator up to the 11th floor. I would take the elevator straight to the 12th floor, but that's another story.
One turns to the other and says, "There's not mushroom in here is there?"
I was way more excited about it than the other people on the elevator.
It was wrong on so many levels.
The other people on the elevator seemed pretty surprised, though.
My first Confucius Say joke was this:
>Confucius Says...Crowded Elevator Smell Different to Midget
Today while shaving in the shower I came up with this one
>Confucius Says...Man who shave nut sack with straight razor will not have a ball
It was wrong on so many levels.
...and they were in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen nuthin'like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a large old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Boy, go git yo Momma."
It lifts spirits
You can explore elevator chairlift reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean elevator stairwell dad jokes. There are also elevator puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A Chechen presses a button and five floors come down.
One says "I'm tired of climbing this ladder, when's our floor already?"
"No worries, I see an elevator coming."
A man and a woman are in an elevator.
The man leans over to the woman and asks, 'Can I smell your vagina?'
The woman, shocked, replies, 'Absolutely not!'
He says, 'Huh. Must be your feet then.'
The first woman says, "Sometimes, I'm in the elevator, and I don't remember if I'm going up or down."
"The second woman says, "sometimes, I have a bottle of mayonnaise in my hand, and I don't remember if I'm taking it out of the fridge or putting it back."
"The third woman says, "Well, I don't have any of those problems, knock wood," knocking on the table. "Oh, hold on a second, someone's at the door."
They both get off on the same floor
It was wrong on so many levels.
His doctor asks him what he remembers.
- All i remember is getting on an elevator with a gorgeous woman and her husband. She had a beautiful cleavage and i couldn't stop staring at it. She then looked at me and told me "Can you please press one?".
It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels.
A nun with a spear through her head.
A Lift
(only a joke, my American friends)
A Girl is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.
She says: You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you
The boyfriend says: Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow ?
Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?
Him: "If my name was Ella, and I married Darth Vader. My name would be Elevator". Stupid and corny, but it's exactly the kind of lame jokes he would make.
The man says "Eighteenth floor." After arriving, the doors open and the operator says "We are here, my son."
The man says "Thanks, but why did you call me your son?"
The operator replies "Because I have brought you up."
Only Santa Claus, the other 3 don't exist.
Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.
After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together."
The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."
And a short man with dandruff gets on and then comes off on the next floor.
The brunette goes, "Wow, that guy could really use some Head and Shoulders."
The blonde says, "How do you give shoulders?"
No offense anyone...hehe
They start panicking and one of the blonde screams "HELP!"...after 30 seconds the second blonde screams "HELP!". Then the third blonde screams "HELP!". Suddenly,one of the blondes speaks up "Hey,what if we scream simultaneously?". Then one of the blonde screams "Simultaneously!"
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301.
There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301.
I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?
"What...you coming empty handed?"
They get in an elevator to lift their spirits.
It sucked on so many levels...
Mom: "No, who?"
Daughter: "Ella, Ella Vader."
Cuz you know something's about to go down.
Im sorry
We speak to eachother on so many different levels.
However, i didn't freak out about it like the other people in the elevator.
How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator?
Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.
He who makes a mistake in an elevator is wrong on many levels.
Hundreds of people are saying they got stuck between floors. But I don't believe them. I think they made it up.
They were let down.
on so many levels
British sign says " Maximum 6 People/500kg"
Ethiopian sign says "Maximum 500 People/6kg"
or 5 Tinder matches...
I got really excited, but not as much as the other people in the elevator.
He asks her, "Where are you headed today Miss?"
She says, "I'm on my way to the blood bank to donate blood."
The man asks, "How much do you get for that?"
She responds, "$20."
He then says, "Really? I'm on my way to the sperm bank, they pay me $100."
She looks angry about that, and then they part ways.
The next day the man gets on the elevator again to see the same woman. He says, "What a coincidence seeing you again. Where are you headed today?"
She responds, "To the sperm bank." with her mouth full.
One day two blondes and a brunette got stuck in an elevator.
One blonde starts to yell, Help!!!
Then the other one, Help!!!
The brunette suggests, Come on girls, let's scream together, it will be louder.
OK, agree the blondes, Together!!! Together!!!
Which was wrong on so many levels.
To lift his spirits.
An elevator has a maximum occupancy.
He couldn't handle the stares...
Your hair smells nice.
One day they all come back from a trip and find out that the elevator to their floor has shut down and is under repair, so they're forced to take the long walk up the stairs.
To make the walk up a little more exciting, they decide to each tell a sad, terrifying, or depressing story every 20 floors. When they finally get to the top, the tenth friend gets to tell his story.
"I think I left the keys in the car."
How lazy. That's probably how he got to be in a wheelchair.
To which the lady standing in front of him replies "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was crowding you."
Because its wrong on every level
One of them starts yelling: HELP, HEEEELP
The other one then suggests: Maybe we should start yelling together
The first blonde starts yelling again: TOGETHER, TOGETHEEEEER
She steps into the elevator along with an attractive young man.
"Are you going to the blood bank too?" she inquires.
"no" he replies: "I go to the sperm bank, because I get four times the cash as I get for a pint of blood".
A week later, they meet again in the same elevator. The guy asks: " Off to the blood bank again?"
The blonde just shakes her head and says :" Mmm-Mmm"
If they have that much energy, they should take the stairs.
It has its ups and downs
If the President of the United States and the President of the US Virgin Islands are in an elevator, how many people are in the elevator?
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
Note: I did check the sub for this joke. Couldn't find it (I admit I didn't search too deep but I hope you enjoy this one).
I apologize in advance if this has been reposted.
On so many levels
It's wrong on so many levels
Blonde: Help! Help!
Brunette: We should yell together!
Blonde: Together! Together!
Boss: Why, Elevator companies do it all the time?
Guy: Yeah but we make airplanes.
The Texan shows the New Yorker around his place. "Howd'ya like it?", he asks.
"It's not bad", answers the New Yorker, "but I'll be honest, I expected you Texans to have larger places. The living room's too small, the master bedroom is small too, there is only one bathroom, and there isn't even a balcony."
"Hold your horses!" says the Texan. "We haven't even gotten outta the elevator yet!"
After his first day out he said to me I was really nice and held elevator doors open for a spastic today .
I very quickly told him that this kind of language would not fly in the u.k. β we call them liftsβ¦
It was wrong on so many levels
Blonde starts shouting: "HELP! HELP!"
Brunette turns to her and says: "We should shout together."
Blonde: "TOGETHER! TOGETHER!"
He took many steps to avoid it.
They went to a mall. The Amish man saw an old woman get into an elevator. He observed with curiosity as he had never seen anything like it before. Two minutes later, a young beautiful woman came out of the same elevator.
The Amish man turned to his son and said
"go get your mother!"
They didn't so for now I'm gonna keep doing that.
She brags to the elderly woman who was inside, Coco Chanel $900 per ounce.
The lift reaches the second floor where the old lady is about to get off. As she steps out of the elevator, she rips out a rumbling fart. Trailing a heavy cloud, she smiles sweetly and announces, broccoli, 49 cents a pound.
A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator together and it stops to let a man on. The man is wearing a business suit and has obvious dandruff flakes on both shoulders. He says hello and gets out on the next floor. The women continues to ride in awkward silence when the brunette speaks up. She says, "Someone needs to give that guy some head and shoulders."
The blonde looks confused and replies. "How do you give a guy shoulders?"
The doors open before their stop and a gentleman gets on. A few floors later the doors open and the gentleman exits. When the doors shut,
Brunette - He needed some Head & Shoulders.
After a few seconds.
Blonde - How do you give shoulders?
Wong on so many levels
A man gets in the elevator and they're both checking him out. He gets off at the next floor.
Blonde: He looked good but he had some serious dandruff.
Brunette: yeah, somebody should really give him some Head & Shoulders.
Blonde: good idea, but how do you give shoulders?
"What are you up to today?" he asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $20 a pint."
"Hmm ...," the man, says. "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100 a tablespoon."
The woman gets a strange look on her face and gets off the elevator.
The next day, they meet in the elevator again.
The man asks, "So, where you off to today?"
"Fmerm mank," she says, with her mouth full.
He asks at the front desk for his reservation .
The manager asks about his details and then gives him the key.
The guest then takes his room key and goes into the elevator.
After half an hour he comes back and angrily complains the manger that he couldn't find his room
The manager calmly replies," Well what did you expect when you booked room 404?."
"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?...
"What, you're coming empty handed?"
I was on an elevator and she entered. She has big boobs and I was staring at them when she said "Can you please press one".
So I did.
Nobody else in the elevator appreciated it
It was wrong on so many levels
When we get there I say "There you go, son" and he says "Don't call me son! You're not my dad!"
And I say "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"
I call it a free COVID-19 test
It lifts their spirits
happy spoopy day
**I guess we are raised differently :/**
That was wrong on so many levels
I was wrong on so many levels
At one point, a man steps aboard with dandruff all over his suit. He gets off a few floors later and the brunette turns to the blonde and whispers-
Now THAT'S a guy who could really use some Head & Shoulders!
The blonde looks perplexed:
How do you give somebody shoulders?
A young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume. She turns to an old woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"
Another young, beautiful woman gets onto the elevator and also smells of very expensive perfume. She arrogantly turns to the old woman and says, "Chanel No. 5, $150 dollars an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both of the women in the eyes, farts, and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound!"
because it's wrong on Sooo many levels
By pressing the button like everybody else.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the elevator concierge jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working elevator storey piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.