The Best 92 Elevator Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Elevator jokes. There are some elevator schindler jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these elevator leve puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Elevator Jokes and Puns
I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said "Have a good day, son"
"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."
He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"
An Amish family visits a mall...
...the mother strolls along an aisle and experience modern life. The dad and the son, however, encounters an elevator.
"What is that, father?", the son asked.
"I don't know either, my son", replied the father, "Let's see what they use it for".
They then see an ugly, fat woman trudge into the elevator. The door shuts, and after a few minutes, a pretty lady walks out alone.
The father then said: "Go get your mother".
Every day, I take the elevator to get to my office.
My office is on the 12th floor, so I always take the elevator up to the 11th floor. I would take the elevator straight to the 12th floor, but that's another story.
So, I found my first gray pubic hair the other day.
I was way more excited about it than the other people on the elevator.
I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
I am quite old, so I wasn't shocked today during a
thorough inspection to find that I had a gray pubic
hair.
The other people on the elevator seemed pretty surprised, though.
Let's hear best "Confucius Say" jokes you got
My first Confucius Say joke was this:
>Confucius Says...Crowded Elevator Smell Different to Midget
Today while shaving in the shower I came up with this one
>Confucius Says...Man who shave nut sack with straight razor will not have a ball
I just had sex with a 16-year-old girl on an elevator...
It was wrong on so many levels.
A redneck family was visiting the city...
...and they were in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen nuthin'like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a large old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Boy, go git yo Momma."
Two drunks are crawling on the railroad.
One says "I'm tired of climbing this ladder, when's our floor already?"
"No worries, I see an elevator coming."
Elevator joke.
A man and a woman are in an elevator.
The man leans over to the woman and asks, 'Can I smell your vagina?'
The woman, shocked, replies, 'Absolutely not!'
He says, 'Huh. Must be your feet then.'
You can explore elevator chairlift reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean elevator stairwell dad jokes. There are also elevator puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Three old women are discussing how their memory isn't what it used to be.
The first woman says, "Sometimes, I'm in the elevator, and I don't remember if I'm going up or down."
"The second woman says, "sometimes, I have a bottle of mayonnaise in my hand, and I don't remember if I'm taking it out of the fridge or putting it back."
"The third woman says, "Well, I don't have any of those problems, knock wood," knocking on the table. "Oh, hold on a second, someone's at the door."
Ray rice got caught punching his girlfriend in an elevator
It was wrong on so many levels.
A guy wakes up from a coma.
His doctor asks him what he remembers.
- All i remember is getting on an elevator with a gorgeous woman and her husband. She had a beautiful cleavage and i couldn't stop staring at it. She then looked at me and told me "Can you please press one?".
What's black and white and can't turn around in an elevator?
A nun with a spear through her head.
What do you call an elevator with a group of slim, softly spoken, intelligent people inside?
A Lift
(only a joke, my American friends)
Boy VS Girl Friends
A Girl is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.
She says: You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you
The boyfriend says: Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow ?
Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?
The last joke my brother made up, before he passed away this week.
Him: "If my name was Ella, and I married Darth Vader. My name would be Elevator". Stupid and corny, but it's exactly the kind of lame jokes he would make.
A man enters an elevator, and the operator asks him what floor he wants.
The man says "Eighteenth floor." After arriving, the doors open and the operator says "We are here, my son."
The man says "Thanks, but why did you call me your son?"
The operator replies "Because I have brought you up."
A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator...
And a short man with dandruff gets on and then comes off on the next floor.
The brunette goes, "Wow, that guy could really use some Head and Shoulders."
The blonde says, "How do you give shoulders?"
No offense anyone...hehe
Three blondes get stuck in an elevator
They start panicking and one of the blonde screams "HELP!"...after 30 seconds the second blonde screams "HELP!". Then the third blonde screams "HELP!". Suddenly,one of the blondes speaks up "Hey,what if we scream simultaneously?". Then one of the blonde screams "Simultaneously!"
The Jewish Elbow
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301.
There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301.
I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?
"What...you coming empty handed?"
What do ghosts do when they're sad?
They get in an elevator to lift their spirits.
I used a vaccum cleaner inside of an elevator
It sucked on so many levels...
My friends 10 yo daughter made this up while in the elevator today: "Did you know Darth Vader has another daughter?"
Mom: "No, who?"
Daughter: "Ella, Ella Vader."
Why do you never wanna see an elevator in a horror game?
Cuz you know something's about to go down.
Im sorry
I have a really good relatipnship with the elevator operator.
We speak to eachother on so many different levels.
I found my first grey pubic hair today.
However, i didn't freak out about it like the other people in the elevator.
What would Confucius say about errors made in elevators?
He who makes a mistake in an elevator is wrong on many levels.
Have you heard about the elevator conspiracy?
Hundreds of people are saying they got stuck between floors. But I don't believe them. I think they made it up.
People stuck in an elevator called for help.
They were let down.
Rape in an elevator is wrong....
on so many levels
What's the difference between an Ethiopian elevator sign and an British elevator sign?
British sign says " Maximum 6 People/500kg"
Ethiopian sign says "Maximum 500 People/6kg"
A standard elevator can hold 1700 lbs
or 5 Tinder matches...
Today I found my first grey pubic hair.
I got really excited, but not as much as the other people in the elevator.
A man steps onto an elevator with a woman inside...
He asks her, "Where are you headed today Miss?"
She says, "I'm on my way to the blood bank to donate blood."
The man asks, "How much do you get for that?"
She responds, "$20."
He then says, "Really? I'm on my way to the sperm bank, they pay me $100."
She looks angry about that, and then they part ways.
The next day the man gets on the elevator again to see the same woman. He says, "What a coincidence seeing you again. Where are you headed today?"
She responds, "To the sperm bank." with her mouth full.
Two blondes and a brunette
One day two blondes and a brunette got stuck in an elevator.
One blonde starts to yell, Help!!!
Then the other one, Help!!!
The brunette suggests, Come on girls, let's scream together, it will be louder.
OK, agree the blondes, Together!!! Together!!!
Why did the ghost get in the elevator?
To lift his spirits.
What's the difference between your mom and an elevator?
An elevator has a maximum occupancy.
Why did the paranoid man take the elevator?
He couldn't handle the stares...
What did the midget say to the gorgeous woman on a crowded elevator?
Your hair smells nice.
A group of friends all live on the 200th floor of a building
One day they all come back from a trip and find out that the elevator to their floor has shut down and is under repair, so they're forced to take the long walk up the stairs.
To make the walk up a little more exciting, they decide to each tell a sad, terrifying, or depressing story every 20 floors. When they finally get to the top, the tenth friend gets to tell his story.
"I think I left the keys in the car."
A man enters an elevator of a fine hotel and says "Ballroom please"
To which the lady standing in front of him replies "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was crowding you."
Why shouldnt you have sex with your cousin in a moving elevator?
Because its wrong on every level
Two blondes get stuck in elevator
One of them starts yelling: HELP, HEEEELP
The other one then suggests: Maybe we should start yelling together
The first blonde starts yelling again: TOGETHER, TOGETHEEEEER
A blonde goes to a blood bank to earn a little money to pay the bills...
She steps into the elevator along with an attractive young man.
"Are you going to the blood bank too?" she inquires.
"no" he replies: "I go to the sperm bank, because I get four times the cash as I get for a pint of blood".
A week later, they meet again in the same elevator. The guy asks: " Off to the blood bank again?"
The blonde just shakes her head and says :" Mmm-Mmm"
Don't feel bad about pressing the close door button when you see someone running for the elevator.
If they have that much energy, they should take the stairs.
I just got a new job as an elevator engineer
It has its ups and downs
Elevator music bothers me
On so many levels
You should never fart in an elevator
It's wrong on so many levels
A blonde and a brunette are stuck in the elevator
Blonde: Help! Help!
Brunette: We should yell together!
Blonde: Together! Together!
Guy: We need to stop testing our products on buildings.
Boss: Why, Elevator companies do it all the time?
Guy: Yeah but we make airplanes.
I once told a racist joke in an elevator full of Asians..
It was wrong on so many levels
A blonde and a brunette got stuck in an elevator..
Blonde starts shouting: "HELP! HELP!"
Brunette turns to her and says: "We should shout together."
Blonde: "TOGETHER! TOGETHER!"
An Amish family went to the city for the first time ever.
They went to a mall. The Amish man saw an old woman get into an elevator. He observed with curiosity as he had never seen anything like it before. Two minutes later, a young beautiful woman came out of the same elevator.
The Amish man turned to his son and said
"go get your mother!"
I asked my neighbours if they knew who's the idiot that keeps leaving his trash bags in the elevator.
They didn't so for now I'm gonna keep doing that.
A sweet young girl walks into an elevator at Macy's, trailing a cloud of expensive perfume.
She brags to the elderly woman who was inside, Coco Chanel $900 per ounce.
The lift reaches the second floor where the old lady is about to get off. As she steps out of the elevator, she rips out a rumbling fart. Trailing a heavy cloud, she smiles sweetly and announces, broccoli, 49 cents a pound.
Elevator confusion
A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator together and it stops to let a man on. The man is wearing a business suit and has obvious dandruff flakes on both shoulders. He says hello and gets out on the next floor. The women continues to ride in awkward silence when the brunette speaks up. She says, "Someone needs to give that guy some head and shoulders."
The blonde looks confused and replies. "How do you give a guy shoulders?"
What do you call an Asian in an elevator
Wong on so many levels
A man and a woman are chatting in an elevator.
"What are you up to today?" he asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $20 a pint."
"Hmm ...," the man, says. "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100 a tablespoon."
The woman gets a strange look on her face and gets off the elevator.
The next day, they meet in the elevator again.
The man asks, "So, where you off to today?"
"Fmerm mank," she says, with her mouth full.
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?...
"What, you're coming empty handed?"
Earlier I was beaten up by a woman.
I was on an elevator and she entered. She has big boobs and I was staring at them when she said "Can you please press one".
So I did.
I just had sex with someone in an elevator
It was wrong on so many levels
This young lad gets in the elevator, I'm standing by the buttons, so he says "fifth floor mate?"
When we get there I say "There you go, son" and he says "Don't call me son! You're not my dad!"
And I say "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"
With losing your sense of smell from COVID-19 being a symptom, I no longer call it farting in a crowded elevator.
I call it a free COVID-19 test
Why do ghosts like to ride the elevator?
It lifts their spirits
happy spoopy day
My husband always takes the elevator, whereas I always prefer the stairs.
**I guess we are raised differently :/**
A blonde and a brunette are riding in an elevator...
At one point, a man steps aboard with dandruff all over his suit. He gets off a few floors later and the brunette turns to the blonde and whispers-
Now THAT'S a guy who could really use some Head & Shoulders!
The blonde looks perplexed:
How do you give somebody shoulders?
Why would you never murder on an elevator?
because it's wrong on Sooo many levels
At work I put my desk in the elevator
This should take my career to a whole new level
A blonde and brunette walk into an elevator
They exchange pleasantries and the door closes, the next floor a man gets in with terrible dandruff.
Both women look at each other but don't say anything.
When the man gets off and the door shuts they share a laugh.
The brunette says wow he could definitely use some head and shoulders!
The blonde gives her a look and replies How do you give shoulders?
My first time using the elevator...
was an uplifting experience.
The second time let me down.
I jacked off on an elevator
It was wrong on so many levels
In Britain we call it a "lift" but Americans call it an "elevator".
I guess we're just raised differently.
From my 6 year-old: Why shouldn't you fart in an elevator?
Because it's wrong on so many levels.
A young, extremely perky woman gets into an elevator with an older man...
The woman smiles broadly and says, "TGIF"!
The man slowly turns to her and deadpans, "S.h.i.t."
The woman, thinking that he didn't hear her, slowly repeats "T.G.I.F."
He simply responds, "S.h.i.t.", just as slowly.
Exasperated, she laughs and says, "TGIF stands for Thank God It's Friday!, Silly!"
The man replies, "I know that but Sorry Honey, It's Thursday."
A man defecated in an elevator
He took shit to another level
A man and a woman are standing in an elevator
Man: Excuse me, Miss, can I smell your butt?
Woman: (Disgusted) What!? Of course not!
Man: Oh, I see... well then I guess that must be your breath.
An Amish man and his son are at a mall.
They're taken aback as they look around. The son points to an elevator and asks his father, "What is that?" The man says, "I don't know, son, but let's watch." An old, fat woman gets on and the metal doors slide shut. A few moments later the doors slide open and a gorgeous young blonde gets off. The man turns to his son and says, "Go get your mother."
I held an elevator door for an elderly patient...
I don't know if this belongs in jokes but I had to post it somewhere.
I am in the main hospital. I am going up to the 3rd floor and I call the elevator. I see an elderly patient coming and hold the door for him.
Patient: "Thank you"
Me: "Absolutely, where are we going?" wondering what button he needs pushed.
Patient: "I'd like to just go to heaven."
Me: *internal wtf moment, how tf do I respond to that. I look at the button panel.*
Me: "Well.....closest I can get you is 5th floor."
There are several ways to get to the second floor. Some prefer the stairs, others the elevator.
I prefer the ladder.
I pooped in an elevator.
I guess you can say I took that shit to another level.
Why are elevator jokes so classic and good?
They work on many levels.
I'm not a fan of elevator music.
It bothers me on so many levels.
Who can like elevator music??
It's so bad on so many levels!
Why did the sad ghost ride the elevator?
To lift his spirits
I'm not a fan of elevator music...
It's bad on so many levels.
visiting grandma...
A grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?"
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? .........
"What . .. . .. .. You're coming empty handed?"
I rode an elevator today manufactured by a company named Schindler
I was on Schindler's Lift.
what does a man say to a woman.....
What does a man say to a woman when there both going down an elevator? he says: "hey, what is your number?"
I saw a naked Chinese man take the elevator.
It was wong on so many levels.
Head & Shoulders
A Blonde and a Brunette on an elevator going to the first floor. A good looking guy wearing all black gets in the elevator and gets off in the 2nd floor, before the guy exits the elevator, the Brunette notices that he has dandruff on his shoulders. When the door closes the brunette tells the blonde. Cute guy but someone needs to give him some Head & Shoulders. The blonde asked, How do you give shoulders?
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the elevator concierge jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working elevator storey piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.