The Best 92 Elevator Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Elevator jokes. There are some elevator schindler jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these elevator leve puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Elevator Jokes and Puns
I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said "Have a good day, son"
"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."
He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"
An Amish family visits a mall...
...the mother strolls along an aisle and experience modern life. The dad and the son, however, encounters an elevator.
"What is that, father?", the son asked.
"I don't know either, my son", replied the father, "Let's see what they use it for".
They then see an ugly, fat woman trudge into the elevator. The door shuts, and after a few minutes, a pretty lady walks out alone.
The father then said: "Go get your mother".
Every day, I take the elevator to get to my office.
My office is on the 12th floor, so I always take the elevator up to the 11th floor. I would take the elevator straight to the 12th floor, but that's another story.
So two mushrooms walk into an elevator.
One turns to the other and says, "There's not mushroom in here is there?"
So, I found my first gray pubic hair the other day.
I was way more excited about it than the other people on the elevator.
I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
I am quite old, so I wasn't shocked today during a
thorough inspection to find that I had a gray pubic
hair.
The other people on the elevator seemed pretty surprised, though.
Let's hear best "Confucius Say" jokes you got
My first Confucius Say joke was this:
>Confucius Says...Crowded Elevator Smell Different to Midget
Today while shaving in the shower I came up with this one
>Confucius Says...Man who shave nut sack with straight razor will not have a ball
I just had sex with a 16-year-old girl on an elevator...
It was wrong on so many levels.
A redneck family was visiting the city...
...and they were in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen nuthin'like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a large old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Boy, go git yo Momma."
Why does riding in an elevator make ghosts happy?
It lifts spirits
You can explore elevator chairlift reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean elevator stairwell dad jokes. There are also elevator puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What's the definition of a Russian elevator?
A Chechen presses a button and five floors come down.
Two drunks are crawling on the railroad.
One says "I'm tired of climbing this ladder, when's our floor already?"
"No worries, I see an elevator coming."
Elevator joke.
A man and a woman are in an elevator.
The man leans over to the woman and asks, 'Can I smell your vagina?'
The woman, shocked, replies, 'Absolutely not!'
He says, 'Huh. Must be your feet then.'
Three old women are discussing how their memory isn't what it used to be.
The first woman says, "Sometimes, I'm in the elevator, and I don't remember if I'm going up or down."
"The second woman says, "sometimes, I have a bottle of mayonnaise in my hand, and I don't remember if I'm taking it out of the fridge or putting it back."
"The third woman says, "Well, I don't have any of those problems, knock wood," knocking on the table. "Oh, hold on a second, someone's at the door."
A man and a woman are having sex in an elevator
They both get off on the same floor
Ray rice got caught punching his girlfriend in an elevator
It was wrong on so many levels.
A guy wakes up from a coma.
His doctor asks him what he remembers.
- All i remember is getting on an elevator with a gorgeous woman and her husband. She had a beautiful cleavage and i couldn't stop staring at it. She then looked at me and told me "Can you please press one?".
Why is it not a good idea to tell your parents about your failures while they are on an elevator?
It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels.
What's black and white and can't turn around in an elevator?
A nun with a spear through her head.
What do you call an elevator with a group of slim, softly spoken, intelligent people inside?
A Lift
(only a joke, my American friends)
Boy VS Girl Friends
A Girl is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.
She says: You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you
The boyfriend says: Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow ?
Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?
The last joke my brother made up, before he passed away this week.
Him: "If my name was Ella, and I married Darth Vader. My name would be Elevator". Stupid and corny, but it's exactly the kind of lame jokes he would make.
A man enters an elevator, and the operator asks him what floor he wants.
The man says "Eighteenth floor." After arriving, the doors open and the operator says "We are here, my son."
The man says "Thanks, but why did you call me your son?"
The operator replies "Because I have brought you up."
An honest lawyer, a wealthy garbage collector, a teenage girl who's oblivious to what others think of her, and Santa Claus are in an elevator. Who's in the elevator?
Only Santa Claus, the other 3 don't exist.
Three blondes are in an elevator
Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.
After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together."
The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."
A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator...
And a short man with dandruff gets on and then comes off on the next floor.
The brunette goes, "Wow, that guy could really use some Head and Shoulders."
The blonde says, "How do you give shoulders?"
No offense anyone...hehe
Three blondes get stuck in an elevator
They start panicking and one of the blonde screams "HELP!"...after 30 seconds the second blonde screams "HELP!". Then the third blonde screams "HELP!". Suddenly,one of the blondes speaks up "Hey,what if we scream simultaneously?". Then one of the blonde screams "Simultaneously!"
The Jewish Elbow
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301.
There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301.
I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?
"What...you coming empty handed?"
What do ghosts do when they're sad?
They get in an elevator to lift their spirits.
I used a vaccum cleaner inside of an elevator
It sucked on so many levels...
My friends 10 yo daughter made this up while in the elevator today: "Did you know Darth Vader has another daughter?"
Mom: "No, who?"
Daughter: "Ella, Ella Vader."
Why do you never wanna see an elevator in a horror game?
Cuz you know something's about to go down.
Im sorry
I have a really good relatipnship with the elevator operator.
We speak to eachother on so many different levels.
I found my first grey pubic hair today.
However, i didn't freak out about it like the other people in the elevator.
How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator?
How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator?
Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.
What would Confucius say about errors made in elevators?
He who makes a mistake in an elevator is wrong on many levels.
Have you heard about the elevator conspiracy?
Hundreds of people are saying they got stuck between floors. But I don't believe them. I think they made it up.
People stuck in an elevator called for help.
They were let down.
Rape in an elevator is wrong....
on so many levels
What's the difference between an Ethiopian elevator sign and an British elevator sign?
British sign says " Maximum 6 People/500kg"
Ethiopian sign says "Maximum 500 People/6kg"
A standard elevator can hold 1700 lbs
or 5 Tinder matches...
Today I found my first grey pubic hair.
I got really excited, but not as much as the other people in the elevator.
A man steps onto an elevator with a woman inside...
He asks her, "Where are you headed today Miss?"
She says, "I'm on my way to the blood bank to donate blood."
The man asks, "How much do you get for that?"
She responds, "$20."
He then says, "Really? I'm on my way to the sperm bank, they pay me $100."
She looks angry about that, and then they part ways.
The next day the man gets on the elevator again to see the same woman. He says, "What a coincidence seeing you again. Where are you headed today?"
She responds, "To the sperm bank." with her mouth full.
Two blondes and a brunette
One day two blondes and a brunette got stuck in an elevator.
One blonde starts to yell, Help!!!
Then the other one, Help!!!
The brunette suggests, Come on girls, let's scream together, it will be louder.
OK, agree the blondes, Together!!! Together!!!
I once passed gas in an elevator,
Which was wrong on so many levels.
Why did the ghost get in the elevator?
To lift his spirits.
What's the difference between your mom and an elevator?
An elevator has a maximum occupancy.
Why did the paranoid man take the elevator?
He couldn't handle the stares...
What did the midget say to the gorgeous woman on a crowded elevator?
Your hair smells nice.
A group of friends all live on the 200th floor of a building
One day they all come back from a trip and find out that the elevator to their floor has shut down and is under repair, so they're forced to take the long walk up the stairs.
To make the walk up a little more exciting, they decide to each tell a sad, terrifying, or depressing story every 20 floors. When they finally get to the top, the tenth friend gets to tell his story.
"I think I left the keys in the car."
Today I was in the elevator with a guy who only rode to the second floor. He couldn't even bother to take one flight of stairs?
How lazy. That's probably how he got to be in a wheelchair.
A man enters an elevator of a fine hotel and says "Ballroom please"
To which the lady standing in front of him replies "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was crowding you."
Why shouldnt you have sex with your cousin in a moving elevator?
Because its wrong on every level
Two blondes get stuck in elevator
One of them starts yelling: HELP, HEEEELP
The other one then suggests: Maybe we should start yelling together
The first blonde starts yelling again: TOGETHER, TOGETHEEEEER
A blonde goes to a blood bank to earn a little money to pay the bills...
She steps into the elevator along with an attractive young man.
"Are you going to the blood bank too?" she inquires.
"no" he replies: "I go to the sperm bank, because I get four times the cash as I get for a pint of blood".
A week later, they meet again in the same elevator. The guy asks: " Off to the blood bank again?"
The blonde just shakes her head and says :" Mmm-Mmm"
Don't feel bad about pressing the close door button when you see someone running for the elevator.
If they have that much energy, they should take the stairs.
I just got a new job as an elevator engineer
It has its ups and downs
trump challenged Tillerson to an IQ test, and there was only one question on the test...
If the President of the United States and the President of the US Virgin Islands are in an elevator, how many people are in the elevator?
You don't want to get busy in an elevator.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
Note: I did check the sub for this joke. Couldn't find it (I admit I didn't search too deep but I hope you enjoy this one).
I apologize in advance if this has been reposted.
Elevator music bothers me
On so many levels
You should never fart in an elevator
It's wrong on so many levels
A blonde and a brunette are stuck in the elevator
Blonde: Help! Help!
Brunette: We should yell together!
Blonde: Together! Together!
Guy: We need to stop testing our products on buildings.
Boss: Why, Elevator companies do it all the time?
Guy: Yeah but we make airplanes.
A New Yorker visits a Texan
The Texan shows the New Yorker around his place. "Howd'ya like it?", he asks.
"It's not bad", answers the New Yorker, "but I'll be honest, I expected you Texans to have larger places. The living room's too small, the master bedroom is small too, there is only one bathroom, and there isn't even a balcony."
"Hold your horses!" says the Texan. "We haven't even gotten outta the elevator yet!"
My American friend came over to the uk to see me.
After his first day out he said to me I was really nice and held elevator doors open for a spastic today .
I very quickly told him that this kind of language would not fly in the u.k. – we call them lifts…
I once told a racist joke in an elevator full of Asians..
It was wrong on so many levels
A blonde and a brunette got stuck in an elevator..
Blonde starts shouting: "HELP! HELP!"
Brunette turns to her and says: "We should shout together."
Blonde: "TOGETHER! TOGETHER!"
There was a guy who REALLY hated the elevator.
He took many steps to avoid it.
An Amish family went to the city for the first time ever.
They went to a mall. The Amish man saw an old woman get into an elevator. He observed with curiosity as he had never seen anything like it before. Two minutes later, a young beautiful woman came out of the same elevator.
The Amish man turned to his son and said
"go get your mother!"
I asked my neighbours if they knew who's the idiot that keeps leaving his trash bags in the elevator.
They didn't so for now I'm gonna keep doing that.
A sweet young girl walks into an elevator at Macy's, trailing a cloud of expensive perfume.
She brags to the elderly woman who was inside, Coco Chanel $900 per ounce.
The lift reaches the second floor where the old lady is about to get off. As she steps out of the elevator, she rips out a rumbling fart. Trailing a heavy cloud, she smiles sweetly and announces, broccoli, 49 cents a pound.
Elevator confusion
A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator together and it stops to let a man on. The man is wearing a business suit and has obvious dandruff flakes on both shoulders. He says hello and gets out on the next floor. The women continues to ride in awkward silence when the brunette speaks up. She says, "Someone needs to give that guy some head and shoulders."
The blonde looks confused and replies. "How do you give a guy shoulders?"
A Blonde and a Brunette are on an elevator...
The doors open before their stop and a gentleman gets on. A few floors later the doors open and the gentleman exits. When the doors shut,
Brunette - He needed some Head & Shoulders.
After a few seconds.
Blonde - How do you give shoulders?
What do you call an Asian in an elevator
Wong on so many levels
A blonde and a brunette are in an elevator
A man gets in the elevator and they're both checking him out. He gets off at the next floor.
Blonde: He looked good but he had some serious dandruff.
Brunette: yeah, somebody should really give him some Head & Shoulders.
Blonde: good idea, but how do you give shoulders?
A man and a woman are chatting in an elevator.
"What are you up to today?" he asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $20 a pint."
"Hmm ...," the man, says. "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100 a tablespoon."
The woman gets a strange look on her face and gets off the elevator.
The next day, they meet in the elevator again.
The man asks, "So, where you off to today?"
"Fmerm mank," she says, with her mouth full.
A guy walks into a hotel
He asks at the front desk for his reservation .
The manager asks about his details and then gives him the key.
The guest then takes his room key and goes into the elevator.
After half an hour he comes back and angrily complains the manger that he couldn't find his room
The manager calmly replies," Well what did you expect when you booked room 404?."
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?...
"What, you're coming empty handed?"
Earlier I was beaten up by a woman.
I was on an elevator and she entered. She has big boobs and I was staring at them when she said "Can you please press one".
So I did.
I've just released my own fragrance
Nobody else in the elevator appreciated it
I just had sex with someone in an elevator
It was wrong on so many levels
This young lad gets in the elevator, I'm standing by the buttons, so he says "fifth floor mate?"
When we get there I say "There you go, son" and he says "Don't call me son! You're not my dad!"
And I say "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"
With losing your sense of smell from COVID-19 being a symptom, I no longer call it farting in a crowded elevator.
I call it a free COVID-19 test
Why do ghosts like to ride the elevator?
It lifts their spirits
happy spoopy day
My husband always takes the elevator, whereas I always prefer the stairs.
**I guess we are raised differently :/**
Someone in my apartment rearranged all of the buttons on the elevator
That was wrong on so many levels
I once thought it was funny to take a math test in an elevator
I was wrong on so many levels
A blonde and a brunette are riding in an elevator...
At one point, a man steps aboard with dandruff all over his suit. He gets off a few floors later and the brunette turns to the blonde and whispers-
Now THAT'S a guy who could really use some Head & Shoulders!
The blonde looks perplexed:
How do you give somebody shoulders?
Sharp Retort
A young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume. She turns to an old woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"
Another young, beautiful woman gets onto the elevator and also smells of very expensive perfume. She arrogantly turns to the old woman and says, "Chanel No. 5, $150 dollars an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both of the women in the eyes, farts, and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound!"
Why would you never murder on an elevator?
because it's wrong on Sooo many levels
How do asians call an elevator?
By pressing the button like everybody else.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the elevator concierge jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working elevator storey piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.