The Best 91 Elephants Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Elephants jokes. There are some elephants rhino jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these elephants elephant knock knock puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Elephants Jokes and Puns

Call a girl beautiful 1,000 times and she won't think twice...

Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.

Because elephants never forget

For my summer job, I worked at the zoo, circumsizing elephants

The pay wasn't great, but the tips were enormous!

Once upon a time, there were two cavemen...

There were two cavemen overlooking the tundra.

Caveman 1: Hey look! A flock of elephants!

Caveman 2: Herd?

Caveman 1: Herd of what?

Caveman 2: HERD of elephants.

Caveman 1: 'course I have! There's a flock of them, right over there!

Elephants joke, Once upon a time, there were two cavemen...

How many?

How many elephants can you fit into a Matterbooboo?

"What's a Matterbooboo?"

Nothing Yogi.

What comes in pints?

elephants


A Man With Sticks in the Middle of Town.

A man is hitting two sticks together in the middle of a small town in suburban America.
Another man walks up and asks, "why are you hitting those sticks together?"
The first man replies, "I'm keeping the elephants away."
Confused, the other man says, "but there are no elephants around here!"
The man with the sticks calmly replies, "You're welcome."

Score! I just landed my summer job for this year - working at the zoo, circumsizing elephants

They said the hourly pay isn't great, but the tips are ENORMOUS!

Elephants joke, Score! I just landed my summer job for this year - working at the zoo, circumsizing elephants

Why do ducks have webbed feet?

To put out fires.

Why do elephants have large, flat feet?

To stamp out burning ducks.

Did you hear about the rabbi who had to circumcise elephants?

The pay was terrible but the tips were huge!

What's that black stuff between an elephants toes?

Slow Natives.

Why do elephants drink?

Well, mostly to forget.....

You can explore elephants animals reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean elephants tusk dad jokes. There are also elephants puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I got a job at the circus.

I had to circumcise the elephants. The wages weren't great but the tips were enormous.

Why were the elephants asked to leave the nude beach?

They refused to remove their trunks.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

They are really good at it.

WHATS THE BROWN STUFF BETWEEN ELEPHANTS TOES?

SLOW AFRICANS!!! (I AM AFRICAN)

Are you still looking for a job?

I hear they're hiring at the zoo circumcising elephants. The pay is small, but the tips are big!

Elephants joke, Are you still looking for a job?

I got a new job circumcizing elephants

The pay isn't great but the tips are enormous

Why do elephants hate flying?

The seats are too small.

Elephants

How many legs does an elephant have?
Four. Two in the front and two in the back.

Why don't elephants make good dancers?
They have two left feet.

What's flat and feathery and half an inch tall?
A duck who tried to teach an elephant how to dance.

Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stomp out forest fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stomp out flaming ducks, of course.


Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she wont pay attention but call her fat once and she will never forget. Thats because elephants never forget.

Why can't two elephants go swimming?

-They only have one pair of trunks.

Why were the elephants kicked out of the pool?

Because they kept dropping their trunks....

Why do elephants have four feet?

Because six inches would never satisfy a female elephant.

Why are elephants big and grey?

Because if they were small and purple, they would be called grapes.

You know why elephants don't smoke?

they can't get their butts in the ashtray

What do elephants in the zoo get for lunch?

Half an hour, just like the rest of the animals.

Four blind elephants are discussing what Man must be like. After a while, they decide to find one.

The first elephant feels the man, and announces that man is flat.

The other three feel him, and agree.

Two cows are standing around talking...

"Hey, have you been following the news? All this mad cow disease going around is scary!"

"Yeah! Thank god we're elephants."

My last job was circumcising elephants

The pay wasn't great but the tips were huge.

I recently started my new job at the zoo circumcizing elephants...

The pay isn't great, but the tips are huge.

Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times and she won't believe you.

Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

Why do elephants drink so much?

To forget

What don't elephants forget when they go swimming?

Their trunks.

What's gray and comes in quarts?

Elephants.

A seemingly normal man walks into a pet shop

A seemingly normal man walks into a pet shop. He has a parrot on his head.
The cashier asks him, "Why is that on your head?"
The man replies, "it keeps the elephants away".
The cashier, bewildered, states, "But there are no elephants here!"
"Then clearly the parrot is working"

Why do elephants paint their testicles red?

To hide in cherry trees. Ever seen one? No? It works.

What's the loudest sound in the forest?

Giraffes eating cherries.

What can an Elephant make that no other animal can make?

Baby elephants.

Did you hear...

about the guy who got a job circumcising elephants?

the pay wasn't great but the tips were huge.

Why do elephants paint their testicles red?

So they can hide in cherry trees.

Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
Shows you it works then.

What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
Monkeys picking cherries.

Why do elephants have 4 feet?

Because in the animal kingdom 6 inches just wont do

Call a woman beautiful a hundred times...

Call a woman beautiful hundred times, and she won't remember.

But call her fat just *one* time, and she'll never forget.

Because elephants never forget.

Why do elephants wear green shoes?

So they can sneak across pool tables.

Have you ever seen an elephant sneaking across a pool table?

Works, doesn't it?

Why is it hard to watch two elephants boxing?

Because they've got the same color trunks.

A rather drunk fellow on a bus was tearing up a newspaper into tiny pieces and throwing them out the window.

'Excuse me,' said the woman sitting next to him. "But, would you mind explaining why you're doing this?
"It scares away the elephants,' replied the drunk. "But I don't see any elephants around here,' said the woman
"Effective, isn't it?" crowed the drunk.

This was my grandpa's favorite joke: why don't elephants wear ties?

Because then they'd be called Elegants !

I used to work at the circus

I was the guy that circumcised the elephants.

The pay wasn't great, but the tips were huge.

Pregnant elephants

What is harder then getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen?

Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagen.

I'm taking a gunsmithing class and this was in the text book with no context. Just stuffed between a paragraph on slave pins and one on replacing firing pins.

TIL that elephants fart

I was blown away!

If you call a girl pretty, she'll forget after a day.

If you call a girl fat, she'll never forget it, because elephants never forget.

I used to work at the zoo circumcising elephants

the job was awful, but the tips were huge

Why do ducks have big flat feet?

To stomp out forest fires.

Why do elephants have big flat feet?

To stomp out flaming ducks.

My friend Ricky works at the circus.

His job is circumcising elephants. Although he likes it, the wages are low but the tips are huge.

Two elephants meet a totally naked guy.

After a while one elephant says to the other, I really don't get how he could feed himself with that thing.

My grandfather used to circumcise elephants for a living.

The wages were poor, but the tips were enormous.

My buddy took a job circumcising elephants at the zoo

The money's not great but the tips are huge

Two elephants see a naked man

Elephant: How is he still alive? I mean, can he even feed himself with THAT?

You can call a woman beatiful as many times as you want

But call her fat once and she'll always remember.

Because elephants never forget

Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees?

After reading this reposted joke everyday, the elephants realized their hiding spot was discovered, and found a new one.

Why doesn't the mafia like elephants?

Bodies don't fit in the trunk.

How do you pick up an elephant with one hand?

You can't, there are no elephants with one arm

Two elephants are sitting in a hot tub...

One turns to the other one and asks Do you have any soap?

The second elephant replies with, no soap, radio.

I used to have a job circumcising elephants....

The money wasn't great but the tips were huge!

TIL that comparative brain scans of elephants reveal that they find humans to be "adorable".

I mean, your mom told me I was sexy, but I didn't realize that it was a biological reaction.

How come we never see elephants hiding in trees?

Because they're REALLY good at it

I got a job at the zoo circumcising Elephants.

The pay sucks but the tips are huge.

What do you get when you cross a mountain range with 40 elephants?

A strategic military advantage against the Romans in the Second Punic War.

As a summer job I would work for the circus, my job was to circumcise the elephants...

The pay wasn't that good, but the tips were HUGE

I have a friend who circumsises elephants.

It doesn't pay much, but the tips are huge!

I got a job at the zoo circumcising elephants

It doesnt pay much, but the tips are big.

How do you know if two elephants were having sex in your backyard?

Your fence is knocked down and one of your Hefty trash bags is missing.

Tell a girl she's beautiful a million times and she'll never notice

Call her fat once and she'll never forget it.
Because...
.
.
.
Elephants never forget.

Tell a girl she's beautiful one hundred times and she'll not believe you. Tell her once she's fat and she'll always remember

Because elephants never forget

A joke originally told in Arabic

The doctor asks him what is that dreaming problem.

"Every night I go to sleep," the man says. "I dream of a soccer match between a team of elephants and a team of ants"

"Ok, take this medicine," the doctor says. "It will fix the problem."

The man refuses though and says:

"Can I take it tomorrow though? Today is the finals"

I used to work at the zoo, where my job was to circumcise Elephants.

The pay was rubbish, but the tips were huge!

Never ever call a lady fat!

Because elephants don't forget.

I had an uncle who worked circumcising elephants

The pay wasn't great, but the tips were enormous!

Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times..

Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times and she won't believe you.

Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget

Joke from my 12 year old why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

Because they're so good at it!

Please don't ban me

Elephant jokes, because it's what 2021 needs

Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.

Bonus #1: How can you tell an elephant has been in your refrigerator? Footprints in the cheesecake.

Bonus #2: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!

Bonus #3: No more elephant jokes.

My uncle used to circumcise elephants. The pay was terrible, but...

The tips were massive.

I got a job at the Zoo.

I have to work my way up from the bottom.
My first job is circumcise the elephants.
They aren't paying me, but the tips are HUGE.

Tell a woman she's beautiful a thousand times and she'll still act like she's never heard it before. Call a woman fat once and she'll always remember.

Because elephants never forget.

My friend once had a job circumcising elephants

Well according to him the pay was lousy but at least the tips were huge!

Most people think that in Africa...

We ride lions and elephants to work.

That's ridiculous.

We dont have jobs.

You know what sucks the most about being a democrat in a republican household?

If you try to address the Elephants in the room, you end up making an ass of yourself

Here's a trilogy of jokes

You know why you never see an elephant hiding in a tree?

Because they are good at it.


Why do elephants paint their balls red?

So they can hide in cherry trees.


What's the loudest sound in the forest?

Giraffes eating cherries

Why don't you see elephants hiding in a tree?

Because they're very good at it.

Why do the elephants paint their balls red?

So they can hide in a cherry tree.

What's the loudest sound in the jungle?

Giraffes eating cherries.

What happened to Batman and Robin when a herd of elephants trampled over them ?

They became Flatman and Ribbon...

Anything not related to elephants

is irrelephant.

You can tell a girl she's pretty 1000 times & she'll never remember it, but if you call her fat just once she'll always remember it.

Elephants never forget.

How many elephants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Well, technically just two. It would have to be a pretty huge lightbulb to fit them though.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the elephants dumb elephant jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working elephants elephant birthday piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes