Elephant Jokes
139 elephant jokes and hilarious elephant puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about elephant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get ready for some serious laughter with these hilarious elephant jokes! From puns about a playful elephant trunk to witty one-liners about a giraffe and an elephant celebrating a birthday together, these irrelephant jokes are sure to make you crack up. Ivory warning: you won't be able to contain your laughter!
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Funniest Elephant Short Jokes
Short elephant jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The elephant humour may include short zebra jokes also.
- Call a girl beautiful 1,000 time and she won't think twice... Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.
Because elephants never forget - Joke from my 12 year old why do you never see elephants hiding in tree? Because they're so good at it!
Please don't ban me - How can you tell the difference between an Indian and African elephant? One of them is an elephant
- My buddy took a job circumcising elephants at the zoo The money's not great but the tips are huge
- I bought my friend an elephant for their room. They said thank you. I said don't mention it.
- A joke my 4 year old came up with today... Him: "What's the only mammal that can breathe under water?"
Me: "I dunno, what?"
Him (loudly): "An elephant sticking his trunk up!" - I have the memory of an elephant. I remember one time I went to the zoo and saw an elephant.
- My grandfather used to circumcise elephants for a living. The wages were poor, but the tips were enormous.
- Why does an elephant have four feet? Because six inches isn't going to satisfy a female elephant.
- What do you get when you cross a kangaroo and an Elephant? A letter from the Scientific Ethics Committee and a withdrawl of your grant money.
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Elephant One Liners
Which elephant one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with elephant? I can suggest the ones about tiger and whale.
- Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They are really good at it.
- If there is an elephant in the room and nobody notices is it irrelephant?
- How do you turn a fox into an Elephant? Marry her.
- Why can't two elephants go swimming? -They only have one pair of trunks.
- My 5yo hit me with this: what do you call an elephant who refuses to bath? A Smellephant!
- What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs? An elephant with diarrhea...
- What do you get when you mix a rat and an elephant? Who cares? It's a relephant.
- Never call a woman fat An elephant never forgets.
- What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish? swimming trunks! :D
- What comes in pint? elephants
- My balloon elephant wouldn't fit in the back seat of my car so... I had to pop the trunk.
- What is grey and comes in quarts? An elephant
- Why do elephants drink so much? To forget
- Never ever call a lady fat! Because elephants don't forget.
- What do you call a rhinoceros crossed with an elephant? "el' if I know."
Elephant Trunk Jokes
Here is a list of funny elephant trunk jokes and even better elephant trunk puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What does an elephant say when it kidnaps someone? "Get in the trunk"
- Where does the elephant pack it's clothes? In its trunk
- What do you get when you throw an elephant in the pool? Wet.
What do you get when you throw two elephants in the pool?
Swimming trunks. - How do you persuade elephants to go swimming? Remind them that they already have their trunks on.
- Why doesn't the mafia like elephants? Bodies don't fit in the trunk.
- It's OK to watch an elephant bathe as they usually have their trunks on.
- Why was the elephant arrested? Trunk driving
- Why is it hard to watch two elephants boxing? Because they've got the same color trunks.
- Why were the elephants kicked out of the pool? Because they kept dropping their trunks....
- What don't elephants forget when they go swimming? Their trunks.
Elephant Never Forgets Jokes
Here is a list of funny elephant never forgets jokes and even better elephant never forgets puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Tell a girl she's beautiful one hundred times and she'll not believe you. Tell her once she's fat and she'll always remember Because elephants never forget
- Call a woman beautiful 1000 times, and she'll never remember. Call her fat one time, and she'll never forget. You know why? Elephants never forget.
- Tell a woman she's beautiful a thousand times and she'll still act like she's never heard it before. Call a woman fat once and she'll always remember. Because elephants never forget.
- What does an elephant do on 9/11? Never forgets.
- You could call a woman beautiful 100 times and she'll never remember it. But call her ugly once and she'll never forget it. You know why? Because an elephant never forgets.
- A few years ago I called my mother in law fat and she still resents me for it I should've known that an elephant never forgets.
- Called my wife fat forever ago, and she's never let me live in down That's cause elephants never forget
- Q: Why are Republicans always so strung up about 9/11? A: Elephants never forget.
- Your mother has an excellent memory. Because elephants never forget.
- A huge mistake I made the terrible mistake of joking about my girlfriend's weight. I just know she'll hold it against me forever. Elephants never forget.
Elephant Hiding Jokes
Here is a list of funny elephant hiding jokes and even better elephant hiding puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you hide an elephant in a strawberry patch? Paint it's toenails red.
Don't believe me? Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? - Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees? After reading this reposted joke everyday, the elephants realized their hiding spot was discovered, and found a new one.
- Why do elephants paint their toenails red? So that they can hide in cherry trees.
Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
Good hiding spot, huh? - Why did the elephant paint itself lots of different colors. So that it could hide in the crayon box. Courtesy of my 4 y/o niece.
- What's a good way to hide mailboxes? Place elephants in front of them
- How do you hide an elephant in a fridge? You remove his slippers and open the door .
You put him inside.
You close the door and take the slippers away. - Why do elephants where pink shoes? To hide in the grass.
Have you ever seen an elephant with pink shoes?
No?
Good hiders, aren't they? - what animals are best at hiding up trees? Elephants
- Why do elephants paint their toe nails? To hide in a box of jelly beans. Ever see an elephant in a box of jelly beans? Must work pretty well!
my aunt introduced this one to me. - How do you find an elephant hiding in a jar of jelly beans? You don't. It's hiding.
Giraffe And Elephant Jokes
Here is a list of funny giraffe and elephant jokes and even better giraffe and elephant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- An Elephant, a Giraffe and a Penguin walk in to a bar It's at this point I realise that there is something wrong with my pint.
- There is an elephant and a giraffe in the bathroom The giraffe says "pass the soap, please"
And the elephant says "no soap, radio!" - Why did the mouse whisper into the elephant's ear? The giraffe put him up to it.
- What do an elephant and a giraffe have in common? They are both gray except for the giraffe.
- What's the similarity between a giraffe and an elephant? - I don't know, What ?
-They both start With the letter G
-What? That makes no sense??
-The elephant's name is Greg - What do you get when you cross and elephant with a giraffe? ||elephant||•||giraffe||sin(Φ)
- An inteovert elephant and an emo giraffe walks into a bar.. They couldnt fit in
Elephant And Ant Jokes
Here is a list of funny elephant and ant jokes and even better elephant and ant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If it's not about elephants, it's irrelephant. But what if it's about ants? Pertinant.
- Which ant is the biggest? Elephant
- Once an elephant and an ant walks into a bar. And the ant got crushed under the elephant's feet.
- How do you make an ant huge Add "eleph"
Unearthly Funniest Elephant Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about elephant you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean leopard jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make elephant pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between an Indian and an African elephant?
One's an elephant.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For my first cake day I want to share a joke my dad told me when I was probably too young to really understand it. How does an elephant hide in the jungle?
Climbs to the top of a cherry tree and paints his b**... red.
What's the loudest sound in the jungle?
Giraffes eating cherries!
(Apologies if you've heard it before fellow Redditors! Maybe by next cake day I'll get better material)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times and she won't believe you.
Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
A man walks into a bar and asks for the bill
The bartender looks confused and tells the man he didn't order anything.
The man says I know, but I own the zoo down the street. I heard about the time a grizzly bear, elephant, monkey, tiger, alligator,... walked into a bar. I'm here to pay for the damages.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you call a girl pretty, she'll forget after a day.
If you call a girl fat, she'll never forget it, because elephants never forget.
When I was younger one of my favorite jokes to tell was about a 4,000 lb. elephant. I tried to convert it to metric to share with the rest of the world.
But, it never got a laugh. Just these looks of mass confusion.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
Why do elephants paint their b**... red?
So they can hide in cherry trees.
What's the loudest sound in the jungle?
Giraffes eating cherries
I took my 8 year old niece to the zoo last week...
..we were walking around the various cages and enclosures when all of a sudden she yells, Look Uncle John! It's a frickin' Elephant!
I was shocked and slightly angry, as everybody was looking at us. What did you just call it? I asked.
It's a frickin' Elephant, it says so on the picture! she said, ... and so it did, A F R I C A N Elephant.
What's grey and not important?
An irrelephant
What's my dog's favourite part of the tree?
The bark.
What's my bank's favourite part of the tree?
The branches.
What's my elephant's favourite part of the tree?
The trunk.
What's my father's favourite part of the tree?
The leaves :(
A zookeeper spotted a visitor throwing $10 bills into the elephant exhibit…
Why are you doing that? asked the keeper.
The sign says it's okay, replied the visitor.
No, it doesn't.
Yes, it does. It says, 'Do not feed. $10 fine.'
Why do elephants wear green shoes?
So they can sneak across pool tables.
Have you ever seen an elephant sneaking across a pool table?
Works, doesn't it?
Once upon a time, there were two cavemen...
There were two cavemen overlooking the tundra.
Caveman 1: Hey look! A flock of elephants!
Caveman 2: Herd?
Caveman 1: Herd of what?
Caveman 2: HERD of elephants.
Caveman 1: 'course I have! There's a flock of them, right over there!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Old one I've never seen on here
This joke was in a book I had as a young child, probably from the 70s or 80s. It's so ridiculous, I remember it to this day.
Q: How do you kill a blue elephant?
A: Shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you kill a white elephant?
A: Hold its nose until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Oh the memories
You can tell a woman that she is beautiful 1000 times and she will pay no mind to your comments. But tell her that she's fat, just one time, and she will never let you forget it.
Do you want to know why that is?
Because an elephant never forgets.
I'm getting a tattoo of an elephant on my ear...
The only reason I'm doing this is so when people ask me "Why do you have a tattoo of an elephant on your ear?" I can say "Don't worry about it. It's ear elephant."
A Man With Sticks in the Middle of Town.
A man is hitting two sticks together in the middle of a small town in suburban America.
Another man walks up and asks, "why are you hitting those sticks together?"
The first man replies, "I'm keeping the elephants away."
Confused, the other man says, "but there are no elephants around here!"
The man with the sticks calmly replies, "You're welcome."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An elephant is standing on a street corner with an e**....
His thing is HUGE, hangs all the way to the ground.
At that moment a mother is taking her son to school and the son looks at the elephant and says "Mommy what is that?"
Mom: "Oh that's the trunk honey"
Kid: "No mom, further back between the legs"
Mom: "Oh that? That's nothing...." and awkwardly changes the subject.
The next day, same elephant in the same condition is on the corner only this time the dad is taking the kid to school.
Kid: "Hey dad, what is that? It's not the the trunk and it's not the legs, it's in between the legs. Mommy says that's nothing."
The dad thinks for a second and then laughs, "Yeah well, mommy is spoiled."
Why are elephants big and grey?
Because if they were small and purple, they would be called grapes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times..
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times and she won't believe you.
Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget
a pretty bad joke my dad once told me
what do you get when you cross a elephant, rhino, and a hippo?
helliphino
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack", he says, "I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday".
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger. He says that his dad is m**... Jagger, and it's okay for him to take out all of the money because he is friends with the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says "Sure, have this", and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink, and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty tells him that she'll have to consult with the bank manager. She then disappears into the back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral". She holds up the tiny elephant pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone".
A man is talking to his doctor about a recurring dream he keeps having.
"I keep dreaming about a soccer match between elephants and mice" the patient said
"No worries" says the doctor and gives the patient some medicine, "take this just before bed and you'll have a dreamless sleep"
"Ok, thank you doctor" responded the man "but can I start it tomorrow? The finals are tonight"
Do you know why Hindu worship Lord Ganesha first
Because we have to first address the elephant in the room
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Pregnant elephants
What is harder then getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen?
Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagen.
I'm taking a gunsmithing class and this was in the text book with no context. Just stuffed between a paragraph on s**... pins and one on replacing firing pins.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
Elephino. It just isn't rhelephant.
(This joke works best when said out loud.)
What do you do when you find a blue elephant?
Cheer him up.
(Courtesy of my 10-year-old son.)
How do you make an elephant float?
A can of coke, a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and an elephant.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
Irr-elephant
Hahahaha
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna-one, Anna-two.
Buhahahahaha.
A man goes to the doctor
\- Doctor, I see blue elephants everywhere.
The doctor then asks:
\- Have you seen a psychologist?
The man:
\- No, no doctor, only blue elephants!
What do you call an elephant the circus no longer needs?
Irrelephant.
An elephant escaped from the circus...
...and ended up in a little old lady's back garden. The lady had never seen an elephant before, so she rang the police.
"Please come quickly," she said to the policeman who answered the phone. "There's a strange looking animal in my garden picking up cabbages with its tail."
"What's it doing with them?" asked the policeman.
"If I told you," said the old lady, "you'd never beleive me!"
How do you pick up an elephant with one hand?
You can't, there are no elephants with one arm
There are 500 bricks on a plane...
- There are 500 bricks on a plane. One falls off. How many are left?
499
- What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator?
Open fridge, put elephant in, close fridge
- What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator?
Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge
- The Lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend but one. Which animal is it and why?
Giraffe. He's stuck in a refrigerator.
- Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across and makes it to the other side safely. Why?
The alligators are all at the birthday party.
- Sally dies anyways. Why?
She got hit in the head by a flying brick
I took my 7 year old son to the zoo today and as we were walking around, he screeched, Look Dad! It's a frickin' elephant! I was shocked and slightly angry, because everybody was looking at us...
What did you just call it?! I cried.
It's a frickin' elephant! It says so on the picture! Look! he shouted, pointing excitedly.
And so it did...A F R I C A N Elephant.
How do you put an elephant in a fridge joke
A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left?
499.
How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps?
Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge.
How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge.
The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it?
The deer: He is still in the fridge.
An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party
Mary dies at the edge of the swamp. How?
A brick falls from the sky and kills her.
Knock knock Who's there?
Not Mary
A group of tourists in Africa where enjoying a guided tour….
A group of tourists in Africa were enjoying a tour of the bush observing the wild life. The guide says to everyone , Don't be surprised if you see an elephant wearing sunglasses.
One of the tourists asks-
why would an elephant be wearing sunglasses?
The guide replies- "Well, they do this to so they can go unnoticed at the beach."
The tourist then said- That's ridiculous!! My hotel is right on the beach and I've never seen an elephant."
The guide replies-
"I guess it works."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's worse than an elephant in the china shop?
A hedgehog in the c**... factory.
If there are 500 bricks on a plane and one falls off, how many are left?
499.
What are the 3 steps of putting an elephant into a fridge?
Open fridge, put elephant in fridge, close fridge
What are the 4 steps of putting a giraffe into a fridge?
Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge.
The lion king is hosting a party. All but one of the guests show up. Who is missing?
The giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to go to the party, but she has to cross a crocodile-infested river to get there. She successfully swims across, how?
All the crocodiles are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, why?
She got hit in the head by a falling brick.
It's a fricken elephant!
A little boy, just about the age of 3, was playing with his toy elephant and his dad comes up to him and says "What do you have there son?"
The boy responds with, "It's a fricken elephant!"
The dad in shock asks him, "What was that?"
"Dad, it's a fricken elephant!!"
Then the mother comes over and asks the little boy what he said and he responds with the same answer, "It's a fricken elephant!!"
Then the grandfather comes over to the parents and says, "Well he sure does like that AFRICan Elephant I got him."
Three blondes are on a walk
While on this walk, they come across an interesting set of tracks. Taking interest in it, each of the girls have a guess as to what animal it could be.
The first blond said "I bet those are bear tracks", to which the other two scoff and say there were no bears around.
The second blond says "they might be raccoon tracks", but the others point out they have never seen raccoon tracks that big before.
The third one, joking, says "I bet those are elephant footprints" and they have a good laugh about it.
Then the train hit them.
What is the brown sticky stuff between an elephant's toes?
Slow natives.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes to a restaurant and sees a sign by the door
The sign reads: "Order anything you want, if we cannot make it, you get $300."
So, when the waiter comes he orders steamed elephant t**... with fried giraffe tongue on toast. The waiter goes to the kitchen and gives the cook the order. The kitchen staff is frantic and scrambles to find what the man had ordered. After a few minutes the chef walks out to the man, hands him $300 and says: "You had to order toast on the day we ran out of bread, did you...?"
So I shot an elephant in my pajamas..
How he got into my pajamas, I'll never know.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You know what s**... the most about being a democrat in a republican household?
If you try to address the Elephants in the room, you end up making an a**... of yourself
How do you fit five elephants in a fiat 500?
Easy! Two in the front and three in the back!
How to put 2 elephants in a jar without them touching each other?
You just put a third elephant between them.
How can you tell if an elephant has been playing your accordion? The keys are all flat.
A duck, a deer, a skunk and an elephant are sitting in a bar
The end of the night rolls around and the waitress asks who is going to pay the tab.
The duck says that he can't pay because he only has one bill.
The deer says that she had a buck on her last night, but won't have any doe until spring.
The skunk says he can't pay because he only has one scent.
Finally, the elephant says "It's okay boys, the highballs are on me!"
What do you get when you breed an elephant with a rhino?
A visit from the university board of ethics.
Do you know why Ducks have big flat feet?
So they can stomp out forest fires.
Do you know why elephants have big flat feet?
So they can stomp out flaming Ducks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the elephant paint the bottom of its feet yellow?
So it could hide in a bowl of custard.
Have you ever seen an elephant in a bowl of custard? No?
That means it's working, the crafty b**....
What's large, gray, wrinkly, and not important?
An irrelephant.
