Eleph Jokes
121 eleph jokes and hilarious eleph puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about eleph that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Eleph Short Jokes
Short eleph jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The eleph humour may include short pachyderm jokes also.
- Call a girl beautiful 1,000 time and she won't think twice... Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.
Because elephants never forget - Joke from my 12 year old why do you never see elephants hiding in tree? Because they're so good at it!
Please don't ban me - How can you tell the difference between an Indian and African elephant? One of them is an elephant
- My buddy took a job circumcising elephants at the zoo The money's not great but the tips are huge
- I bought my friend an elephant for their room. They said thank you. I said don't mention it.
- A joke my 4 year old came up with today... Him: "What's the only mammal that can breathe under water?"
Me: "I dunno, what?"
Him (loudly): "An elephant sticking his trunk up!" - Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
- I gave my friend an elephant for his room. He told me "thank you."
I said "don't mention it." - If you call a girl pretty, she'll forget after a day. If you call a girl fat, she'll never forget it, because elephants never forget.
- I have the memory of an elephant. I remember one time I went to the zoo and saw an elephant.
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Eleph One Liners
Which eleph one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with eleph? I can suggest the ones about gorilla and rhino.
- What's the difference between an Indian and an African elephant? One's an elephant.
- Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They are really good at it.
- If there is an elephant in the room and nobody notices is it irrelephant?
- How do you turn a fox into an Elephant? Marry her.
- I have the memory of an elephant. I saw an elephant.
- My last job was circumcising elephants The pay wasn't great but the tips were huge.
- Why can't two elephants go swimming? -They only have one pair of trunks.
- My 5yo hit me with this: what do you call an elephant who refuses to bath? A Smellephant!
- I got a new job circumcizing elephants The pay isn't great but the tips are enormous
- What's that black stuff between an elephants toes? Slow Natives.
- What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs? An elephant with diarrhea...
- What do you get when you mix a rat and an elephant? Who cares? It's a relephant.
- I have the memory of an elephent. It was at the zoo.
- Never call a woman fat An elephant never forgets.
- What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish? swimming trunks! :D
Unearthly Funniest Eleph Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about eleph you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean giraffe jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make eleph pranks.
What did the elephant say to the n**... guy?
Pretty impressive, but can it pick up peanuts?
What did the elephant say to the n**... man?
"How do you breath through something so small?"
How many?
How many elephants can you fit into a Matterbooboo?
"What's a Matterbooboo?"
Nothing Yogi.
How are an elephant and a grape alike?
They're both purple.....
Except for the elephant.
What do you do when an elephant comes in your window?
You swim!
Why does an elephant have four feet?
Because six inches isn't going to satisfy a female elephant.
Why do elephants drink?
Well, mostly to forget.....
How do you get down off an elephant?
You don't. You get down off a goose.
An elephant and a n**... man were standing next to each other...
The elephant says "It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?"
Why were the elephants asked to leave the n**... beach?
They refused to remove their trunks.
Why was the elephant banned from the pool?
He couldn't keep his trunks up.
What did the elephant say to the n**... man?
How do you feed your self with that?
Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a tree?
Good hiders, aren't they?
Elephant in the vegetable patch
An elephant escapes from a zoo and ends up in a little old ladies vegetable garden and starts munching. Having never seen an elephant in her life, she freaks out and calls the police.
"There's a giant creature in my yard and it's pulling out my vegatables with it's tail!"
"What's it doing with them?"
"If I told you, you'd never believe me!"
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
So that they can hide in cherry trees.
Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
Good hiding spot, huh?
What did the elephant say to the n**... man?
How do you drink out of that little thing?
Why did the elephant paint the bottom of its feet yellow?
So it could hide in a bowl of custard.
Have you ever seen an elephant in a bowl of custard? No?
That means it's working, the crafty b**....
Why do elephants hate flying?
The seats are too small.
What do you do when you come across an elephant?
Wipe it off and apologize.
Elephants
How many legs does an elephant have?
Four. Two in the front and two in the back.
Why don't elephants make good dancers?
They have two left feet.
What's flat and feathery and half an inch tall?
A duck who tried to teach an elephant how to dance.
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stomp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stomp out flaming ducks, of course.
What did the elephant say to the n**... guy?
That thing sure is cute, but can it pick up peanuts?
An elephant escaped from the circus...
...and ended up in a little old lady's back garden. The lady had never seen an elephant before, so she rang the police.
"Please come quickly," she said to the policeman who answered the phone. "There's a strange looking animal in my garden picking up cabbages with its tail."
"What's it doing with them?" asked the policeman.
"If I told you," said the old lady, "you'd never beleive me!"
How do you get down from an elephant?
You don't. You get down from a duck.
Why were the elephants kicked out of the pool?
Because they kept dropping their trunks....
What was an elephant doing on the freeway?
About 5 miles per hour.
Why do elephants have four feet?
Because six inches would never satisfy a female elephant.
Why are elephants big and grey?
Because if they were small and purple, they would be called grape.
You know why elephants don't smoke?
they can't get their butts in the ashtray
What do elephants in the zoo get for lunch?
Half an hour, just like the rest of the animals.
What do you do when an elephant comes into a room?
Swim.
What does an elephant say when it kidnaps someone?
"Get in the trunk"
Why do elephants drink so much?
To forget
I think elephants are overprotected
But I suppose it's easy for me to say that from my ivory tower.
What did the elephant say to the n**... man?
How do you pick up anything with that?
What don't elephants forget when they go swimming?
Their trunks.
How did the elephant get into the room?
We don't talk about it...
hy haven't you ever seen any elephants hiding up trees?
Because they're really, really good at it.
Why do elephants paint their t**... red?
To hide in cherry trees. Ever seen one? No? It works.
What's the loudest sound in the forest?
Giraffes eating cherries.
What can an Elephant make that no other animal can make?
Baby elephants.
Why do elephants paint their t**... red?
So they can hide in cherry trees.
Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
Shows you it works then.
What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
Monkeys picking cherries.
Why do elephants have 4 feet?
Because in the animal kingdom 6 inches just wont do
Two elephants was eating some leafs and some grass at the savana
For the first time of their lives they see a n**... man running in front of them.
One of the elephants wait a second, then bewildered turns to his friend and says:
I wonder how he gets his food to his mouth.
Why do elephants wear green shoes?
So they can sneak across pool tables.
Have you ever seen an elephant sneaking across a pool table?
Works, doesn't it?
Did you know that if you took every elephant in the world and lined them up towards the moon...
They would die.
An elephant was drinking out of the river one day...
When he spotted a turtle lying fast asleep on a log.
The elephant walked over and kicked the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river.
A passing giraffe who happened to see this happen asked the elephant, "Why did you do that?"
The elephant replied, "Because I recognized it as the same turtle that bit my trunk 38 years ago."
The giraffe said, "Wow, what a memory you've got!"
"Yes," said the elephant, proudly. "Turtle recall."
Two elephants see a n**... man
One elephant says to the other: I don't get how he can feed himself with that thing.
Two elephants meet a totally n**... guy.
After a while one elephant says to the other, I really don't get how he could feed himself with that thing.
Why didn't the elephant make a fat joke about the hippopotamus
Because it would be hippo-critical.
What do you do if an elephant comes into your house?
Swim for your life!
What did the elephant say to the n**... man?
"How do you breathe out of that thing?"
My Uncle with whom I share a love of bad jokes told me that.
There are three elephants. One is called mouth elephant and the second is eye elephant. Does it matter what the third is called?
Nah, it's ear elephant
How does an elephant get down from a tree?
It sits on a leaf and waits for autumn.
Why do elephants have such wrinkled skin?
Because they're difficult to iron.
Two elephants see a n**... man
Elephant: How is he still alive? I mean, can he even feed himself with THAT?
Did you know if you take every elephant in the world and stack them on top of each other...
They wouldn't like it.
Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
After reading this reposted joke everyday, the elephants realized their hiding spot was discovered, and found a new one.
How do you get an elephant in a Safeway carrier bag?
You take the "F" out of "way"
(It took me a while, so don't feel bad, try not to spoil it!)
"Theres an elephant in the room!" exclaimed my friend by surprise
"Don't mention it" I said
two elephants see a n**... men for the first time ...
then one elephant says to the other: "I wonder how he gets the food in his mouth"
An elephant was drinking from a river...
When he noticed a turtle asleep on a log. He ambled up over and kicked it clear across the river.
'What did you do that for?' Asked a passing wombat.
'Because I recognised it as the same turtle that took a n**... out of my trunk 53 years ago'
'What a memory!!' Says the wombat.
'Yes,' said the elephant, 'turtle recall'
Two elephants are sitting in a hot tub...
One turns to the other one and asks Do you have any soap?
The second elephant replies with, no soap, radio.
What does an elephant do on 9/11?
Never forgets.
How many elephants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just two, but good luck getting them in there.
How come we never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they're REALLY good at it
Why did the elephant go to jail?
He had a dead guy in his trunk.
*My daughter asked me to make up a joke.
An elephant was born with 5 tusks
Now that's what I call multitusking!
How do you get down off an Elephant?
You don't. You get it off of a Swan.
Why can't elephansts use computers
Because they are scared of the mouse
What did the elephant say to the n**... man ?
How do you breath through that little thing?
What would an elephant say to a n**... man?
How do you breath with that thing!
How do you know if two elephants were having s**... in your backyard?
Your fence is knocked down and one of your Hefty trash bags is missing.
An elephant is standing on a street corner with an e**....
His thing is HUGE, hangs all the way to the ground.
At that moment a mother is taking her son to school and the son looks at the elephant and says "Mommy what is that?"
Mom: "Oh that's the trunk honey"
Kid: "No mom, further back between the legs"
Mom: "Oh that? That's nothing...." and awkwardly changes the subject.
The next day, same elephant in the same condition is on the corner only this time the dad is taking the kid to school.
Kid: "Hey dad, what is that? It's not the the trunk and it's not the legs, it's in between the legs. Mommy says that's nothing."
The dad thinks for a second and then laughs, "Yeah well, mommy is spoiled."
An elephant falls off a cliff and lands on a snake
Badum Hsssss
There is an elephant and a giraffe in the bathroom
The giraffe says "pass the soap, please"
And the elephant says "no soap, radio!"
What would you do if an elephant sat in front of you at the movies?
Miss most of the picture.
What do you do with an Elephant that has three b**...?
You walk him and pitch to the Kangaroo
How do you get down from an elephant?
You don't. You get it from a goose.
Elephant jokes, because it's what 2021 needs
Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.
Bonus #1: How can you tell an elephant has been in your refrigerator? Footprints in the cheesecake.
Bonus #2: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!
Bonus #3: No more elephant jokes.
Q: What do you do with an elephant with three b**...?
A: You walk him and pitch to the rhino.
