Eleph Jokes
121 eleph jokes and hilarious eleph puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about eleph that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Eleph Short Jokes
Short eleph jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The eleph humour may include short pachyderm jokes also.
- Call a girl beautiful 1,000 time and she won't think twice... Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.
Because elephants never forget - Joke from my 12 year old why do you never see elephants hiding in tree? Because they're so good at it!
Please don't ban me - How can you tell the difference between an Indian and African elephant? One of them is an elephant
- My buddy took a job circumcising elephants at the zoo The money's not great but the tips are huge
- I bought my friend an elephant for their room. They said thank you. I said don't mention it.
- A joke my 4 year old came up with today... Him: "What's the only mammal that can breathe under water?"
Me: "I dunno, what?"
Him (loudly): "An elephant sticking his trunk up!" - I have the memory of an elephant. I remember one time I went to the zoo and saw an elephant.
- My grandfather used to circumcise elephants for a living. The wages were poor, but the tips were enormous.
- Why does an elephant have four feet? Because six inches isn't going to satisfy a female elephant.
- What do you get when you cross a kangaroo and an Elephant? A letter from the Scientific Ethics Committee and a withdrawl of your grant money.
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Eleph One Liners
Which eleph one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with eleph? I can suggest the ones about gorilla and rhino.
- Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They are really good at it.
- If there is an elephant in the room and nobody notices is it irrelephant?
- How do you turn a fox into an Elephant? Marry her.
- Why can't two elephants go swimming? -They only have one pair of trunks.
- My 5yo hit me with this: what do you call an elephant who refuses to bath? A Smellephant!
- What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs? An elephant with diarrhea...
- What do you get when you mix a rat and an elephant? Who cares? It's a relephant.
- Never call a woman fat An elephant never forgets.
- What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish? swimming trunks! :D
- What comes in pint? elephants
- My balloon elephant wouldn't fit in the back seat of my car so... I had to pop the trunk.
- What is grey and comes in quarts? An elephant
- Why do elephants drink so much? To forget
- Never ever call a lady fat! Because elephants don't forget.
- What do you call a rhinoceros crossed with an elephant? "el' if I know."
Unearthly Funniest Eleph Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about eleph you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean giraffe jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make eleph pranks.
Elephant Hunter
I used to hunt elephant but had to quit.. Carrying the decoys got to heavy.
How do you get an elephant into a bikini?
You take the "n" out of "fun" and the "f" out of "way"
Punchline: there's no "f" in "way" (there's no effin way!)
Three elephants jump off a cliff, two land on the beach, one in the ocean...
ba-dum tshh
How many?
How many elephants can you fit into a Matterbooboo?
"What's a Matterbooboo?"
Nothing Yogi.
How are an elephant and a grape alike?
They're both purple.....
Except for the elephant.
What do you do when an elephant comes in your window?
You swim!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An elephant and a n**... man were standing next to each other...
The elephant says "It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why were the elephants asked to leave the n**... beach?
They refused to remove their trunks.
Elephants!
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
...So they can hide in strawberry patches.
Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?
...So they can hide upside down in a bowl of custard.
Have you ever seen an elephant hiding upside down in a bowl of custard?
How about in a strawberry patch?
No?
See, it works!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the elephant go to the party with diapers on?
He was a party p**....
How do you get an elephant across the freeway?
Take the "F" out of "free" and the "F" out "way".
...
*victim says "there's no F in way"*
(there's no effin' way)
Why Do Elephants Have Big Ears?
Because Noddy won't pay the ransom!
Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow?
Because he didn't want to fall into the cup of hot chocolate.
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
So that they can hide in cherry trees.
Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
Good hiding spot, huh?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the elephant paint the bottom of its feet yellow?
So it could hide in a bowl of custard.
Have you ever seen an elephant in a bowl of custard? No?
That means it's working, the crafty b**....
Why do elephants hate flying?
The seats are too small.
Two elephants and a snake jumped off a cliff...
Boom Boom Tsss
What do you do when you come across an elephant?
Wipe it off and apologize.
Elephants
How many legs does an elephant have?
Four. Two in the front and two in the back.
Why don't elephants make good dancers?
They have two left feet.
What's flat and feathery and half an inch tall?
A duck who tried to teach an elephant how to dance.
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stomp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stomp out flaming ducks, of course.
How can you tell if an elephant is sick?
If it has junk in its trunk!
An elephant escaped from the circus...
...and ended up in a little old lady's back garden. The lady had never seen an elephant before, so she rang the police.
"Please come quickly," she said to the policeman who answered the phone. "There's a strange looking animal in my garden picking up cabbages with its tail."
"What's it doing with them?" asked the policeman.
"If I told you," said the old lady, "you'd never beleive me!"
How do you get down from an elephant?
You don't. You get down from a duck.
Why were the elephants kicked out of the pool?
Because they kept dropping their trunks....
What was an elephant doing on the freeway?
About 5 miles per hour.
Why are elephants big and grey?
Because if they were small and purple, they would be called grapes.
Why are elephants wrinkled?
Have you ever tried ironing one?
You know why elephants don't smoke?
they can't get their butts in the ashtray
What do elephants in the zoo get for lunch?
Half an hour, just like the rest of the animals.
Do you know why Elephants like 9/11?
Because they never forget.
I am so sorry.
Once you've seen an Elephant attacked by a lion...
You've seen a maul.
What does an elephant say when it kidnaps someone?
"Get in the trunk"
How can you tell an elephant is on its period?
There's a quarter on your night stand and your mattress pad is missing.
I think elephants are overprotected
But I suppose it's easy for me to say that from my ivory tower.
What don't elephants forget when they go swimming?
Their trunks.
How did the elephant get into the room?
We don't talk about it...
An elephant never walks into a bar
He only drinks to forget
Elephant genealogy
First elephant: "I hear you've been trying to trace your ancestors on the internet.
Second elephant: "Yes, and it's a mammoth task.
What can an Elephant make that no other animal can make?
Baby elephants.
What do you do if an Elephant breaks his big toe?
Call a big toe truck.
Why did the elephant paint itself lots of different colors.
So that it could hide in the crayon box. Courtesy of my 4 y/o niece.
Q: Does an elephant ever forget?
Q: Does an elephant ever forget?
A: Only if you loan him money.
Why do elephants where pink shoes?
To hide in the grass.
Have you ever seen an elephant with pink shoes?
No?
Good hiders, aren't they?
Why do elephants wear green shoes?
So they can sneak across pool tables.
Have you ever seen an elephant sneaking across a pool table?
Works, doesn't it?
Did you know that if you took every elephant in the world and lined them up towards the moon...
They would die.
What do an elephant and a giraffe have in common?
They are both gray except for the giraffe.
What does an elephant do when it gets too tired?
Elephaint.
How do you get an elephant out of the water?
Wet.
How do you get down off an elephant?
You don't - you get down off a duck.
*(This joke can also serve as a test of English fluency. You're welcome.)*
How did the elephant come out of the water?
Wet.
I once saw an elephant at the zoo named Trunk
But I thought that was a little on the nose.
An elephant was drinking out of the river one day...
When he spotted a turtle lying fast asleep on a log.
The elephant walked over and kicked the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river.
A passing giraffe who happened to see this happen asked the elephant, "Why did you do that?"
The elephant replied, "Because I recognized it as the same turtle that bit my trunk 38 years ago."
The giraffe said, "Wow, what a memory you've got!"
"Yes," said the elephant, proudly. "Turtle recall."
What do you get when an elephant sneezes?
Out of the way!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An elephant hunter was impaled by the tusk of the elephant he was trying to kill
Oh the Ivory.
What did elephant say to his girlfriend?
"I love you a ton"
Why didn't the elephant make a fat joke about the hippopotamus
Because it would be hippo-critical.
An elephant and a mouse are walking across a bridge...
The mouse looks up at the elephant and says, "Boy, we sure are making this bridge shake!"
Why is an elephant wrinkled
It won't fit on an ironing board.
There are three elephants. One is called mouth elephant and the second is eye elephant. Does it matter what the third is called?
Nah, it's ear elephant
How does an elephant get down from a tree?
It sits on a leaf and waits for autumn.
What is something that elephants are known to do that no other animal in the animal kingdom has been observed doing?
Make baby elephants.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two elephants see a n**... man
Elephant: How is he still alive? I mean, can he even feed himself with THAT?
What Do Elephant And Tomato Have In Common
What elephant and tomato have in common is that they're both red, except the elephant.
What goes well with elephant meat?
Poached egg.
Why is an elephant large, gray, and wrinkled?
Because if it was small, white, and smooth, it would be an aspirin.
Did you know if you take every elephant in the world and stack them on top of each other...
They wouldn't like it.
Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
After reading this reposted joke everyday, the elephants realized their hiding spot was discovered, and found a new one.
Elephants and cars
How many elephants fit in a Volkswagen?
4 elephants, 2 in the front and 2 in the back.
How can you fit 8 elephants in a BMW?
You sell the BMW and buy 2 Volkswagen.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Elephants....
Paint their t**... green?
So they can hide in avocado trees!
A FREAKIN' ELEPHANT!
is how a Nigerian pronounces African Elephant.
How do you get an elephant in a Safeway carrier bag?
You take the "F" out of "way"
(It took me a while, so don't feel bad, try not to spoil it!)
"Theres an elephant in the room!" exclaimed my friend by surprise
"Don't mention it" I said
What do you do if an elephant swallows you...?
Just run around in circles till your all pooped out
What does a elephant type his papers in?
Elefont
Two elephants walk into a bar
The bar is destroyed.
What does an elephant do on 9/11?
Never forgets.
Why was the elephant wearing one yellow tennis shoe?
He forgot to lift his leg.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The elephant and p**...
p**... takes his son to the zoo. When they get to the elephants the zoo keeper said, this elephant can tell how old you are with one look. Paddys son shouts, "how old am I"...? The elephant stamps his foot 6 times. Wow says p**... that's right my boy is 6... p**... shouts to the elephant, "How old am I"...? The elephant farts and stamps his foot twice. "BeJesus"... Says p**..., "He's right, I'm f**... two"
