The Best 53 Elements Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Elements jokes. There are some elements materials jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these elements science element puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Elements Jokes and Puns

I recently started a company that combines Perchloric Acid with random elements...

So far you could say Bismuth is booming.

What's another name for the Periodic Table of elements?

The atoms family.

I was rescued after being exposed to the elements...

I couldn't feel my fingers or toes, so I got the doctor to tell it to me straight.

His reply: "Once they go black, they never grow back."

Elements joke, I was rescued after being exposed to the elements...


Teacher: Describe hydrogen Student: It is a prostitute element

Teacher: Who taught you that?

Student: You said it does not belong to a particular group and it reacts with almost all the elements in the periodic table.

Are you made of Fluorine, Astatine, Arsenic, and Sulfer?

Because you're a F At As S :D

And if you dont get the joke, you must be made of Deuterium, Uranium, Muriaticum, and Boron... cause You're D U M B!

What i'm trying to say is study your periodic table...

Maybe you will find out two elements arent on the periodic table ;)

Some elements walk into a bar...

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfer, sodium, and phosphorus all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "OH SNaP!"

Why are Helium, Curium and Barium called the medical elements?

Because if you can't Helium or Curium, you Barium.
(Heard it from Heimerdinger, League of Legends)

Elements joke, Why are Helium, Curium and Barium called the medical elements?

What elements does Bill Clinton hate the most ?

Molybdenum Nickel Calcium

A scientific joke

Q: Why are Curium, Helium, and Barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can't Curium or Helium them, you Barium!

Where do the elements go to church?

At the Atomic Mass!!

What elements make up life?

Lithium and Iron

You can explore elements items reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean elements isotopes dad jokes. There are also elements puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What are the Fine Brothers favorite elements?

The noble gases because they don't react

What are the loneliest elements?

The noble gases, because they can't form bonds

Apparently some people on Tumblr say they're sexually attracted to elements on the periodic table.

That's not really my thing ... except for that time in college when I experimented with carbon dating.

My chemistry teacher went on a camping trip and died...

He was exposed to the elements.

I saw a burglar on the CCTV of my elements shop. He was taking gold, iodine, carbon, uranium, platinum, and three bottles of nitric oxide. I said over the tannoy....

'Au, I C U! NO NO NO!'

I didn't mention the Fifth Element because it was so overpriced and overhyped.

Elements joke, I saw a burglar on the CCTV of my elements shop. He was taking gold, iodine, carbon, uranium, platin

How do HTML elements greet each other?

Guten Tag!

I was ridiculed by some miscreants at the Halloween party for my Helium atom costume,..

... but I was too noble to react to such petty volatile elements.

What's the difference between a teenager and a radioactive element?

Radioactive elements last longer.

What element in the Periodic Table of Elements can you not take seriously?


The elements in hyrdoxide:

OH my god sorry, wrong sub.

A friend showed me a periodic table app he made.

I told him, "Cool. When's the next update?"

He replied, "You see, one of the basic elements of app-making is that you have to update it periodically."

If I had to pick 3 Elements that summed up my life...

They would either be Aluminum, Oxygen and Neon, or they would be Carbon, Radium and Phosphorous.

My favorite elements in the periodical chart are oxygen and potassium.

But most other people just find them O K.

What do you do with dead elements?

You barium

Hydrogen is the smartest.

The rest of the elements are denser.

The elements decided to make a band. They called themselves "Earth, Fire and Ice"

"What happened to Air?"

"He kept blowing them off"

I love to watch videos where they explain the elements

However, they only upload... Periodically

What elements are a banana made out of?


Charles Dickens was at his publisher's office.

CD: "I'm going to be honest with you, Howard. It's almost complete and I have most of the elements of the story figured out. Great characters, a terrific setting, some good conflict and a theme. But something's missing, and I can't figure out what it is"

Howard: "The plot, Dickens?"

A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements: religion, royalty, sex and mystery.

The prize-winning essay read, "My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder whose it is?"

A Helium enters to a bar of elements...

The bartender just kicks him out saying he's too noble to be there.

But he didn't react.

Why are helium, curium, and barium known as the healing elements?

Because if you can't helium.
Or curium.
You gotta barium.

Why don't they teach the students about the elements...

in elementary school?

Why can't the evil elements Tin and Aluminum take over the world?

Because their plans are always foiled!

Why can't any of the others elements ever get in touch with Sodium?

Because it's always NA.

Why are elements so important?

Because they matter

When is milk on the Periodic Table of Elements

When it spills.

I like my money like super heavy elements.


Marie Curie died of exposure to the elements.

Silver walked up to elements in a bar that was on fire. Silver said "Get out!"

Gold said "Aukay"

Potassium said "K"

Sodium said "Na"

Argon didn't react.

Chuck Norris does not acknowledge the Periodic Table of Elements ...

because the only element he cares about is the element of surprise.

Helium, Argon, Neon, Krypton, and Helium walk into a LGBT bar

The bar keeper says: "get out of here, we don't want far right elements in here"

Oh! So you love the empty set?

Name three of it's elements then.

How many periodic elements does it take to turn on a light?

Sulfur, Tungsten, Iodine, Technetium, and Hydrogen.

What do you call a scientist who wants equal rights for all elements?

A chemenist!

The classical elements are five. Earth, fire, wind, water

And the element of surprise.

My teaching career.

I used to teach history, but thats all in the past.

I started teaching biology but my heart wasn't in it.

I tried teaching chemistry, but there were elements i didnt understand.

I was offered a job teaching maths, but something didn't add up.

I was sent to Germany to do food science, that was the wurst.

I've started teaching physics, its got potential.

Short Chemistry Joke For You All

What are the elements of life?

Lithium and Iron

A world renowned chemist dies.

A world renowned chemist dies. His will states that he wishes for all of his favorite elements from the periodic table be included with his body. They go to his wife and ask "Are we really going to put a bunch of elements in his casket?
To which she replies
"No, just Barium"

How often do scientists reference the Table of Elements?


A man recently died after a periodic table display fell on him...

The official cause of death was, "Exposure to the Elements".

Why are Helium, Curium, and Barium the medical elements?

***Because if you can't heal-ium or cure-ium, you bury-um.***

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the elements periodic table of elements jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working elements neon element piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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