The Best 67 Element Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Element jokes. There are some element thorium jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these element science element puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Element Jokes and Puns

Go back in time and kill Hitler as a baby.

He'd be so freaked out that a baby is trying to murder him, you'll have the element of surprise.

Figured this is an appropriate time to tell this. What is an Undertaker's favorite element?

Barium.

Why does nobody like the element Bi?

Because he's all up in your bismuth.

Element joke, Why does nobody like the element Bi?

The elementary class was learning about addition...

The teacher asks little Johnny, "If I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?"

Johnny thinks about it for a few seconds and says, "Seven."

The teacher says, "No, let's try again. Listen carefully. I give you two, Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more."

Johnny spends a few minutes thinking it out, and again says, "Seven."

The teacher says, "Let's try it another way. If I put two apples on your desk, then two more, and then two more, how many apples would you have?"

Johnny says, "Six."

The teacher says, "Good, now if I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?"

Johnny again says, "Seven."

The teacher, obviously frustrated, yells at Johnny, "Why do you keep saying seven?!"

Johnny says, "Because... I've already got a cat!"

An elementary teacher wanted to introduce physiological notions to her students.

She asks her class: Whoever feels stupid at times stand up!
After a while, little Johnny stands up, grudgingly.
The teacher asks: So Johnny, you feel stupid from time to time?
Little Johnny replies: No ma'am, it's just painful to see you standing all alone.


Why is North Korea going fail against America?

They lack the element of supplies

Hear are sum morre punny science jokes

How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically.

Is Silicon the same in English as in Spanish? Si.

The last time I told a chemistry joke there was no reaction.

Chemistry puns Im in my element.

What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

Ion-estly cant think of anymore... All the good ones Argon!

Edit 1 just thought of this.

What does Barium Cobalt and Nitrogen make?
BaCoN

Element joke, Hear are sum morre punny science jokes

The Chinese have successfully tested their new Stealth Drones.

Not only will they be used in Recon and Combat missions but they will have the ability to drop vital equipment onto the battlefield.

They will have the element of supplies.

So this dude is like, "Where are you going with all that Element 83?"

and I was like "None of your bismuth"

The bears in China discovered a new element...

It's Panda-monium

Which element of the Periodic Table is the poorest?

Antimony. ^I'm ^so ^sorry...

You can explore element bromine reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean element isotopes dad jokes. There are also element puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Breaking: scientists sneak up on periodic table

And add the element of surprise

An elementary teacher is talking about animals to her students...

Teacher: What does the chicken give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Very good. What does the pig give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Great! What does the cow give you?
Kids: Homework!

What elements make up life?

Lithium and Iron

What's the most capable element?

Tin, because tin can.

What is a hipster's favorite element?

Fe, because it's so ironic

Element joke, What is a hipster's favorite element?

Why did the element Fluorine get a copyright strike?

Because it was extremely reactive

My favorite element is Helium

I can't speak highly enough of it

Just saw two elementary school kids in a fistfight...

So as an adult, I had to step in.

They didn't stand a chance.


I saw a burglar on the CCTV of my elements shop. He was taking gold, iodine, carbon, uranium, platinum, and three bottles of nitric oxide. I said over the tannoy....

'Au, I C U! NO NO NO!'

I didn't mention the Fifth Element because it was so overpriced and overhyped.

What is an assassin's favorite element?

What is an assassin's favorite elem-
Surprise!
(it is much better when spoken, but I'm proud of it)

How often do scientists check the element table?

Periodically...

Chuck Norris joke cause it's been a long time.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Which element is most likely to surrender an electron?

Francium.

What happened to the guy who ingested lead?

It wasn't the lead that killed him, but rather the element of surprise.

What's the flashes favorite element?

Barium

Why must aspiring ninjas study the periodic table?

To master the element of surprise! - haha happy Saturday πŸ™‚

If I was an element on the Periodic Table...

...I'd be a noble gas. I don't form bonds easily, if at all.

An elementary school student gets gum stuck in his hair...

So the nurse takes him to the science teacher and say "Can you get the gum out of his hair?"

The science teacher responds "Of course, its just a matter of having the right solvent."

An hour later the nurse asks the science teacher "Have any luck?"

The science teacher responds "Yes, here's the gum back."

I never really liked chemistry...

There's always an element of surprise.

Scientists have discovered the new element AH

The element of suprise

I had to sell my Honda

Guess I am out of my element now

The periodic table just got one block smaller

Scientists now say Plutonium is not a real element

What elements are a banana made out of?

BaNaβ‚‚

Why does Kendrick Lamar like to roll past the police in a Honda?

Because they can't take him out his Element

What does AH stand for in the Periodic Table?

The Element of Surprise

My boyfriend and I both drive Hondas.

He's got one of those boxy ones, and mine is a mid-size sedan. And neither of us has our own place, so we mostly end up just having sex inside the car. His is a little bigger, so we usually use his.

Recently, however, he's been wanting to experiment a little bit, and he's saying we should try some things out while having sex on top of his car, instead of inside it.

But if I'm gonna have sex with my boyfriend in a way that's out of his Element, it will have to be on my own Accord.

Copper is the only element that have eyes

Becuase it can Cu.

A professor makes a bet with a student

A professor makes a bet with a student. Every question the professor asks that the student can't answer the student will owe him $1, every question the student asks that the professor can't answer he owes the student $100.

Professor: What element has the atomic number 45?

The student having no idea hands the professor $1.

Student: What animal walks on 2 legs, sleeps on 4 legs, and runs on 3 legs?

The professor is stumped, so he gives the student $100.

Professor: Ok you win, but on earth was the answer to your question?

The student gives the professor $1 and goes home.

A new element was just discovered that not even the greatest minds in the world could have prepared for...

It was the element of surprise!

Why can't any of the others elements ever get in touch with Sodium?

Because it's always NA.

Why are elements so important?

Because they matter

What is a pirate's favourite element?

Aye. Ye might say aarrrrgon, but no, it's the element of surprise!

What is Mike Tyson's favorite element?

None of your Bismuth

I just noticed the Periodic Table has been updated recently. Welcome #119- "AH"!

The element of surprise!

What's a pirate's favourite element?

Gold of course - what would a pirate want with argon?

Why is the element Ah always so hard to find on the periodic table?

It's the element of surprise.

Why can't you scare a chemist?

...because they always lack the element of surprise...

Did you hear the one about the Sexy element?

It was sodium fine

What is the least interesting element?

Boron

Scientists discovered a new element, and it shocked everyone.

It was the element of surprise.

What do interested chemists and 12 year-old hackers have in common?

Inspect element

What's a weeb's favorite element?

Manga-nese

In an elementary school English class, kids are learning the word contagious . Teacher calls on students, asking them to use it in a sentence.

- Susan?

- I had a flu and mommy made me stay home for 3 days because I was contagious!

- Very good. What about you, Johnny?

- Our neighbor Mrs. Henderson has started painting her fence last night, daddy says it's gonna take the contagious!

What is Michael Jackson's favorite element

He He

Which element is the top three?

Podium

What is an office ninja's most deadly weapon?

The element of supplies

The most important element of public speaking?

Podium

What kind of plant contains every known element?

A chemis-tree.

The chemistry teacher was asked what their favorite element was.

They answered "The element of surprise!"

What do you call an element that always complains?

a lament.

That is astounding Holmes! How did you deduce it was lithium poisoning that ended that poor chap's life?

Element three, my dear Watson.

I have a friend whose favorite element is potassium.

I personally think it's "just 'K."

An elementary school teacher was handing out samples of deer jerky to anyone who wanted to try it.

It was part of the lesson about pioneer days and she hadn't yet told them what kind of meat it was.


She was giving clues to help the students. "I'm sure all of you have seen one as there are a lot of them around here". No response.

"The males often clash to prove who is toughest". Still no response.

Finally she says "You have probably heard your mother call your father this."

Suddenly one of the students hacks and then yells "Spit it out! Spit it out! It's an asshole!"

In chemistry class the experiment called for 36 grams of the 83rd element on the periodic table. I could see that the girl next to me had weighed out 42 grams. When I told her she was getting a bit heavy she said....

I should mind my own bismuth.

Why is helium the most respected element?

People speak very highly of it

What's a pirates favorite element on the periodic table?

Gold. What the hell would they need argon for?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the element periodic element jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working element neon element piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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