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Element Jokes

172 element jokes and hilarious element puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about element that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Do you have a periodic table of elements in your home? If so, you're in for a laugh! Get ready to explore some of the funniest jokes out there involving elements such as mercury, neon, calcium, krypton, barium, and bromine. Take the element of surprise and join us as we explore some of the most hilarious element jokes.

Funniest Element Short Jokes

Short element jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The element humour may include short elite jokes also.

  1. What's a pirate's favorite periodic element? Gold. What would a pirate want to do with Argon?
  2. A lot of people think the movie "The 5th Element" is exciting Personally I think it's boron.
  3. A man recently died after a periodic table display fell on him... The official cause of death was, "Exposure to the Elements".
  4. Why are Helium, Curium and Barium called the medical elements? Because if you can't Helium or Curium, you Barium.
    (Heard it from Heimerdinger, League of Legends)
  5. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table... Because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
  6. Chuck Norris joke cause it's been a long time. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
  7. Figured this is an appropriate time to tell this. What is an Undertaker's favorite element? Barium.
  8. Why are helium, curium, and barium known as the healing elements? Because if you can't helium.
    Or curium.
    You gotta barium.
  9. Why is North Korea going fail against America? They lack the element of supplies
  10. Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'!

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Element One Liners

Which element one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with element? I can suggest the ones about item and particle.

  1. Did you know all dogs are made up of only 3 elements? Calcium, nickel, neon
  2. What are the Fine Brothers favorite elements? The noble gases because they don't react
  3. What elements make up life? Lithium and Iron
  4. How often do scientists check the element table? Periodically...
  5. What do you do with dead elements? You barium
  6. What's another name for the Periodic Table of elements? The atoms family.
  7. Which element is most likely to surrender an electron? Francium.
  8. What is an office ninja's most deadly weapon? The element of supplies
  9. Periodic table jokes are the best. But only when I'm in my element.
  10. Scientists have discovered the new element AH The element of suprise
  11. How often do scientists reference the Table of Elements? Periodically.
  12. Breaking: scientists sneak up on periodic table And add the element of surprise
  13. My favorite element is Helium I can't speak highly enough of it
  14. Which element of the Periodic Table is the poorest? Antimony. ^I'm ^so ^sorry...
  15. What's the most capable element? Tin, because tin can.

Periodic Element Jokes

Here is a list of funny periodic element jokes and even better periodic element puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What does AH stand for in the Periodic Table? The Element of Surprise
  • The periodic table just got one block smaller Scientists now say Plutonium is not a real element
  • If I was an element on the Periodic Table... ...I'd be a noble gas. I don't form bonds easily, if at all.
  • I just noticed the Periodic Table has been updated recently. Welcome #119- "AH"! The element of surprise!
  • How many periodic elements does it take to turn on a light? Sulfur, Tungsten, Iodine, Technetium, and Hydrogen.
  • Why is the element Ah always so hard to find on the periodic table? It's the element of surprise.
  • Why must aspiring ninjas study the periodic table? To master the element of surprise! - haha happy Saturday 🙂
  • What do you say when leaving the Periodic Table of Elements' police station? Cu Copper.
  • What element in the Periodic Table of Elements can you not take seriously? Silly-con!
  • What's after the last element on the periodic table AH- the element of surprise

Element Periodic Jokes

Here is a list of funny element periodic jokes and even better element periodic puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My favorite elements in the periodical chart are oxygen and potassium. But most other people just find them O K.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't recognize the Periodic Table... ...because the only element he believes in is the element of surprise.
  • I don't understand Oganesson It's currently the last element on the periodic table, but it claims to be the Og
  • What's the North Korean leader's favorite periodic element? Un un quadium. Then, uranium
  • Sherlock Holmes, how is the periodic table structured? It's elementally, my dear Watson.
  • Which element on the periodic table is best at concealing itself? Hydrogen.
  • Chuck Norris does not acknowledge the Periodic Table of Elements ... because the only element he cares about is the element of surprise.
  • I think the 79th element in the periodic table is hilarious It's comedy gold!
  • New element on periodic table It is called AH! It is an element of surprise
  • I love to watch videos where they explain the elements However, they only upload... Periodically
Element joke, I love to watch videos where they explain the elements

Element Table Jokes

Here is a list of funny element table jokes and even better element table puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's a pirate's favourite element of the peri-arrr-dic table? Arr-gon?
    No. Gold, you idiot.
    Happy International Talk like a Pirate day!
  • What's a pirate's favorite element on the periodic table? Gold!
    (works better when told - most will interrupt with "Arrrrrrrrrgon!")
  • What does my dad and the 18th element of the periodic table have in common? They both argon
  • Paul Simon wrote a song from the perspective of the 13th element on the Periodic Table. You Can Call Me Al
  • When is milk on the Periodic Table of Elements When it spills.
  • Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because it hasn't got the element of surprise.
  • What is a SJW's least favorite element on the periodic table? Helium.
  • The element of surprise is the best element on the periodic table Because you don't even know it's there.
  • What do you call an equally dangerous and fabulous element of the periodic table? Freddie Mercury!
  • What is a grave digger's favorite element on the periodic table? Barium

Periodic Table Element Jokes

Here is a list of funny periodic table element jokes and even better periodic table element puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do female scientists look at once a month? The Periodic Table of Elements.
  • Why do all the elements get cranky once a month? Cause they are on their periodic table.
  • What is the most violent element of the periodic table? Ni, because Ni for an eye
  • So I just wrote a test on the Periodic table of Elements It went berylliumtly
  • What is the Friendliest Chemical Element of the Periodic Table? Bromine.
  • What's a pirates favorite element on the periodic table? Gold. What the h**... would they need argon for?

Element Mercury Jokes

Here is a list of funny element mercury jokes and even better element mercury puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is the coolest element? Mercury.
    (original by my 10 year old, when we were watching a Queen video)
Element joke, What is the coolest element?

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Element Jokes

What funny jokes about element you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cell jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make element pranks.

Two smart jokes

What does a scientist call it when they're A/B testing and they find a third variable?
An emergent C
What element do British people like early in the morning?
Strong-tea-um

Go back in time and kill h**... as a baby.

He'd be so freaked out that a baby is trying to m**... him, you'll have the element of surprise.

Why does nobody like the element Bi?

Because he's all up in your bismuth.

The elementary class was learning about addition...

The teacher asks little Johnny, "If I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?"
Johnny thinks about it for a few seconds and says, "Seven."
The teacher says, "No, let's try again. Listen carefully. I give you two, Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more."
Johnny spends a few minutes thinking it out, and again says, "Seven."
The teacher says, "Let's try it another way. If I put two apples on your desk, then two more, and then two more, how many apples would you have?"
Johnny says, "Six."
The teacher says, "Good, now if I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?"
Johnny again says, "Seven."
The teacher, obviously frustrated, yells at Johnny, "Why do you keep saying seven?!"
Johnny says, "Because... I've already got a cat!"

An elementary teacher wanted to introduce physiological notions to her students.

She asks her class: Whoever feels s**... at times stand up!
After a while, little Johnny stands up, grudgingly.
The teacher asks: So Johnny, you feel s**... from time to time?
Little Johnny replies: No ma'am, it's just painful to see you standing all alone.

Hear are sum morre punny science jokes

How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically.
Is Silicon the same in English as in Spanish? Si.
The last time I told a chemistry joke there was no reaction.
Chemistry puns Im in my element.
What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium
Ion-estly cant think of anymore... All the good ones Argon!
Edit 1 just thought of this.
What does Barium Cobalt and Nitrogen make?
BaCoN

The Chinese have successfully tested their new Stealth Drones.

Not only will they be used in Recon and Combat missions but they will have the ability to drop vital equipment onto the battlefield.
They will have the element of supplies.

So this dude is like, "Where are you going with all that Element 83?"

and I was like "None of your bismuth"

The bears in China discovered a new element...

It's Panda-monium

What do you call an element found in the ground?

Barium.

p**...

Teacher: Describe hydrogen Student: It is a p**... element
Teacher: Who taught you that?
Student: You said it does not belong to a particular group and it reacts with almost all the elements in the periodic table.

Can someone help me understand this joke....

Today while listening to Townes Van Zandt, he tells a joke on a live album: What's white and crawls up your leg? Uncle Ben's Perverted Rice. Am I too young to understand this? Is there a historical element to this missing?? Is it just obsurd? Thanks in advance and hope this is the right place to ask this question.

Some elements walk into a bar...

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfer, sodium, and phosphorus all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "OH SNaP!"

What did the angel say when he saw God make the element Phosphorus?

It's a match made in Heaven!

What's Natalie Portman's favorite element?

Thorium.

What is a pirate's favorite element?

Gold.

An elementary teacher is talking about animals to her students...

Teacher: What does the chicken give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Very good. What does the pig give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Great! What does the cow give you?
Kids: Homework!

Where do the elements go to church?

At the Atomic Mass!!

The confused radioactive element

So there was a radioactive element who was perpetually confused.
One fine day, he was asked, "what do you do?".
"IDK".

Why do we all marry?

Why do we all marry? - because romance is not the only element of life, we should also know horror, t**..., suspense, irony, stupidity and tragedy of life!

Potassium would be the worst element to chat with

He (or she) would always reply with "K".

What is a hipster's favorite element?

Fe, because it's so ironic

Why did the element Fluorine get a copyright strike?

Because it was extremely reactive

Just saw two elementary school kids in a fistfight...

So as an adult, I had to step in.
They didn't stand a chance.

I saw a burglar on the CCTV of my elements shop. He was taking gold, iodine, carbon, uranium, platinum, and three bottles of nitric oxide. I said over the tannoy....

'Au, I C U! NO NO NO!'
I didn't mention the Fifth Element because it was so overpriced and overhyped.

What is an assassin's favorite element?

What is an assassin's favorite elem-
Surprise!
(it is much better when spoken, but I'm proud of it)

Pirate Jokes

Pirate 1: What be a pirate's favorite element?
Pirate 2: Arrrrrrrgon!
Pirate 1: It's gold you idiot

I think metals are my favorite type of element

The other ones just seem so lackluster.

Are you element 117?

Because you're the only ten I seen.

The elements in hyrdoxide:

OH my god sorry, wrong sub.

What's an undertaker's favorite element?

Barium!

What happened to the guy who ingested lead?

It wasn't the lead that killed him, but rather the element of surprise.

I have a radioactive element.

Too bad, I can't show it to you Rn..

What's the flashes favorite element?

Barium

I want my favorite bar to change its name to Carbon

So when I go there, I'll be in my element.

I've got an elementary school reunion coming up that I'm dreading,

because I've gained like a hundred pounds.

Why does plutonium stink?

Because it's chemical element symbol is Pu.

An elementary school student gets gum stuck in his hair...

So the nurse takes him to the science teacher and say "Can you get the gum out of his hair?"
The science teacher responds "Of course, its just a matter of having the right solvent."
An hour later the nurse asks the science teacher "Have any luck?"
The science teacher responds "Yes, here's the gum back."

I never really liked chemistry...

There's always an element of surprise.

I had to sell my Honda

Guess I am out of my element now

The elements decided to make a band. They called themselves "Earth, Fire and Ice"

"What happened to Air?"
"He kept blowing them off"

What elements are a banana made out of?

BaNa₂

What's the difference between a h**... and an e**...?

About $500 and a slight element of doubt to the outcome of the evening.

Why does Kendrick Lamar like to roll past the police in a Honda?

Because they can't take him out his Element

My boyfriend and I both drive Hondas.

He's got one of those boxy ones, and mine is a mid-size sedan. And neither of us has our own place, so we mostly end up just having s**... inside the car. His is a little bigger, so we usually use his.
Recently, however, he's been wanting to experiment a little bit, and he's saying we should try some things out while having s**... on top of his car, instead of inside it.
But if I'm gonna have s**... with my boyfriend in a way that's out of his Element, it will have to be on my own Accord.

Copper is the only element that have eyes

Becuase it can Cu.

What Is A Wrinkled Shirt's Least Favorite Element?

Iron! Hahahahahahahahahahaha

A professor makes a bet with a student

A professor makes a bet with a student. Every question the professor asks that the student can't answer the student will owe him $1, every question the student asks that the professor can't answer he owes the student $100.
Professor: What element has the atomic number 45?
The student having no idea hands the professor $1.
Student: What animal walks on 2 legs, sleeps on 4 legs, and runs on 3 legs?
The professor is stumped, so he gives the student $100.
Professor: Ok you win, but on earth was the answer to your question?
The student gives the professor $1 and goes home.

What's Jake Paul's favorite element?

BROmine

A new element was just discovered that not even the greatest minds in the world could have prepared for...

It was the element of surprise!

What is the most mediocre element?

So-Sodium

What is the most unpredictable element?

˙ǝsᴉɹdns ɟo ʇuǝɯǝlƎ

The new elementary school teacher confessed to me that she had severe social anxiety

It's ok, I said. "Just pretend your audience is n**..."

Why can't any of the others elements ever get in touch with Sodium?

Because it's always NA.

Why are elements so important?

Because they matter

What is a pirate's favourite element?

Aye. Ye might say aarrrrgon, but no, it's the element of surprise!

why are chemists bad public speakers?

because almost every element in their speech ends with um

What is Mike Tyson's favorite element?

None of your Bismuth

What's a pirate's favourite element?

Gold of course - what would a pirate want with argon?

An elementary teacher was talking to her class about safety when crossing the street.

"I used to have a little brother, and on his eighth birthday my parents got him a brand new red bike. He was across the street at his grandmas' when dad wheeled it outside. My brother was so excited that he ran across the street without looking, right in front of a car. The car hit him and he died." One of the children raised his hand and asked, "Where's his bike?"

Why can't you scare a chemist?

...because they always lack the element of surprise...

Element joke, Why can't you scare a chemist?

jokes about element