Elem Jokes
42 elem jokes and hilarious elem puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about elem that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Elem Short Jokes
Short elem jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The elem humour may include short elite jokes also.
- What is an assassin's favorite element? What is an assassin's favorite elem-
Surprise!
(it is much better when spoken, but I'm proud of it)
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What funny jokes about elem you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean elves jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make elem pranks.
Why does nobody like the element Bi?
Because he's all up in your bismuth.
The elementary class was learning about addition...
The teacher asks little Johnny, "If I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?"
Johnny thinks about it for a few seconds and says, "Seven."
The teacher says, "No, let's try again. Listen carefully. I give you two, Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more."
Johnny spends a few minutes thinking it out, and again says, "Seven."
The teacher says, "Let's try it another way. If I put two apples on your desk, then two more, and then two more, how many apples would you have?"
Johnny says, "Six."
The teacher says, "Good, now if I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?"
Johnny again says, "Seven."
The teacher, obviously frustrated, yells at Johnny, "Why do you keep saying seven?!"
Johnny says, "Because... I've already got a cat!"
An elementary teacher wanted to introduce physiological notions to her students.
She asks her class: Whoever feels s**... at times stand up!
After a while, little Johnny stands up, grudgingly.
The teacher asks: So Johnny, you feel s**... from time to time?
Little Johnny replies: No ma'am, it's just painful to see you standing all alone.
Some elements walk into a bar...
Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfer, sodium, and phosphorus all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "OH SNaP!"
Which element of the Periodic Table is the poorest?
Antimony. ^I'm ^so ^sorry...
What element is most commonly found on the ground?
Floor-ine
The Elementarily Disabled Fellow
An elementary teacher is talking about animals to her students...
Teacher: What does the chicken give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Very good. What does the pig give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Great! What does the cow give you?
Kids: Homework!
Where do the elements go to church?
At the Atomic Mass!!
What element make up life?
Lithium and Iron
The element of surprise is the best element on the periodic table
Because you don't even know it's there.
Why did the element Fluorine get a copyright strike?
Because it was extremely reactive
Just saw two elementary school kids in a fistfight...
So as an adult, I had to step in.
They didn't stand a chance.
Which element is most likely to surrender an electron?
Francium.
What element in the Periodic Table of Elements can you not take seriously?
Silly-con!
Are you element 117?
Because you're the only ten I seen.
The elements in hyrdoxide:
OH my god sorry, wrong sub.
I've got an elementary school reunion coming up that I'm dreading,
because I've gained like a hundred pounds.
What's after the last element on the periodic table
AH- the element of surprise
If I was an element on the Periodic Table...
...I'd be a noble gas. I don't form bonds easily, if at all.
An elementary school student gets gum stuck in his hair...
So the nurse takes him to the science teacher and say "Can you get the gum out of his hair?"
The science teacher responds "Of course, its just a matter of having the right solvent."
An hour later the nurse asks the science teacher "Have any luck?"
The science teacher responds "Yes, here's the gum back."
The elements decided to make a band. They called themselves "Earth, Fire and Ice"
"What happened to Air?"
"He kept blowing them off"
What elements are a banana made out of?
BaNa₂
New element on periodic table
It is called AH! It is an element of surprise
A new element was just discovered that not even the greatest minds in the world could have prepared for...
It was the element of surprise!
The new elementary school teacher confessed to me that she had severe social anxiety
It's ok, I said. "Just pretend your audience is n**..."
Why can't any of the others elements ever get in touch with Sodium?
Because it's always NA.
Why are elements so important?
Because they matter
An elementary teacher was talking to her class about safety when crossing the street.
"I used to have a little brother, and on his eighth birthday my parents got him a brand new red bike. He was across the street at his grandmas' when dad wheeled it outside. My brother was so excited that he ran across the street without looking, right in front of a car. The car hit him and he died." One of the children raised his hand and asked, "Where's his bike?"
Which element on the periodic table is best at concealing itself?
Hydrogen.
Why is the element Ah always so hard to find on the periodic table?
It's the element of surprise.
What did the element say to the rude element?
Bro you're mean.
We all know that elementary school kids try to make each other spell 'icup', but what do kids in the hood say?
Icug.
Elementary grammar: No sentence without a term.
Presidential grammar: No term without a sentence.
In an elementary school English class, kids are learning the word contagious . Teacher calls on students, asking them to use it in a sentence.
- Susan?
- I had a flu and mommy made me stay home for 3 days because I was contagious!
- Very good. What about you, Johnny?
- Our neighbor Mrs. Henderson has started painting her fence last night, daddy says it's gonna take the contagious!
Which element is the top three?
Podium
An elementary school teacher was handing out samples of deer jerky to anyone who wanted to try it.
It was part of the lesson about pioneer days and she hadn't yet told them what kind of meat it was.
She was giving clues to help the students. "I'm sure all of you have seen one as there are a lot of them around here". No response.
"The males often clash to prove who is toughest". Still no response.
Finally she says "You have probably heard your mother call your father this."
Suddenly one of the students hacks and then yells "Spit it out! Spit it out! It's an a**...!"
What are the 5 elements?
Air
Earth
Fire
Water
Surprise
(Credit goes to my wife who reluctantly told me this joke she came up with after I asked her why she was giggling to herself)
I got A's in elementary school.
I got C's in middle school. In high school, I got D's and boy did my grades improve.
Which element should they make caskets out of?
Barium
An elementary school teacher was meeting her new class
She pointed to one student and asked "What does your father do for a living?"
The boy said "My father's a magician! He has a new act that ends with sawing people in half."
"That's wonderful!" said the teacher. "And do you have any siblings?"
"Yes," said the boy- "I have a half brother and a half sister."
