Electron Jokes
149 electron jokes and hilarious electron puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about electron that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Want to be the life of the party? Check out this collection of hilarious jokes about electrons, protons, neutrons, photons, electron clouds, electron configurations and electron microscopes that will have everyone in stitches!
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Funniest Electron Short Jokes
Short electron jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The electron humour may include short electric jokes also.
- I went to an Art Gallery, it was $60 to enter and $80 to look at each picture. It was called Electronic Arts.
- I was arrested the other day for stealing people's electrons. I was heavily charged, despite my victims saying it was an overall positive experience.
- None of my european electronics worked properly in the US, until I prayed to God. Turns out they just needed a higher power.
- Two atoms were walking down the street. One of them said, "I lost an electron." The other one said, "Are you sure?" and the first one said, "I'm positive!"
- Why did the dad proton want his daughter proton to marry an electron? So the wedding would be free of charge
- An atom walks into a bar… Bartender: What are you doing here?
Atom: I'm celebrating the loss of an electron.
Bartender: I'm keeping my ion you.
Atom: Don't worry, I'll keep things positive. - I asked a black man on the street if he could come fix my speaker set up, since he must be good at fixing electronics. He told me I used the wrong stereo type.
- One atom says to another atom "Dude! I lost all my valence electrons!"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!" - I met a Nuclear Engineer the other day. He had a bunch of Electronic Engineers buzzing around him.
- Schrödinger's cat There once was a cat in a pickle
Whose life was not worth a nickle
From an electron gun shot
It both was and was not
It's very existence is fickle
Share These Electron Jokes With Friends
Electron One Liners
Which electron one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with electron? I can suggest the ones about ionic and atomic.
- An atom loses an electron... It says, "man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
- what is the difference between a seal and a sea lion? An electron.
- How do you turn a seal into a sea lion? Remove an electron.
- I'm positive I lost an electron... ...better keep an ion that.
- First Stephen Hawking, now Avicii? Tough year for the Electronic community.
- Well my parents are finally sick of all my electronics puns. Now I'm grounded.
- I think I saw my friend with an extra electron... ...so I'm going to keep an ion him.
- Which element is most likely to surrender an electron? Francium.
- What fuels electronics but drains a relationship? Battery
- The electrons couldn't wait to become lightning When it happened, they were ex-static
- Molecule 1: I just lost an electron. Molecule 2: Are you sure?
Molecule 1: I'm positive. - How did the electron board the train? It lepton
- I tried to give iodine a full electron shell... ...but iodide.
- What do you call an insect that is into electronic music? A house fly.
- A positive ion stole an electron yesterday. He got away with no charge.
Proton Electron Jokes
Here is a list of funny proton electron jokes and even better proton electron puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A proton walks up to an electron The proton says, "Why so negative?"
The electron says, "My wife is cheating on me." - Special shop sale: electrons: 10 cents
protons: 10 cents
neutrons: free of charge - 55 protons, 78 neutrons, 55 electrons, 6 croutons. Cesium salad.
- What does electron and proton say when they go to war? Chaaaarge!!
- Protons, neutrons and electrons Are the little things that matter.
- What is satan's favourite chemical? Carbon. because it has 6 protons 6 neutrons and 6 electrons
- How do you call an insanely rich proton that spent all of his money to become an electron? Ex centric
- What did the proton say to the electron? Why do you always got to be so negative?
- A proton, an electron and a neutrino walk into a black hole That's it
- A proton walks into the police station. He says, "Someone stole my electron!"
The police ask, "Are you sure?"
The proton says, "I'm positive!"
Valence Electron Jokes
Here is a list of funny valence electron jokes and even better valence electron puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Who did King Arthur leave in charge of watching his eight electrons? Sir Valence!
Uproarious Electron Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about electron you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean oxide jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make electron pranks.
I met a depressed electron the other day.
He wasn't very positive.
A non-observable electron...
...went into two bars...
An atom walks into a bar...
and orders a drink. The barman makes the drink and hands it over. The atom just sits there and sighs. "Why so down?" the barman asks. "Iv'e lost an electron." the atom answers. "Are you sure?" the barman asks. "I'm positive."
any jokes about electronic cigarettes?
I've recently started using one and every single person asks about it, why i use it, do i prefer it, etc, and i'd love to have a snappy joke or two to throw out about it!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My experiences working at an electronics store...
On a normal day at the shop a man walks up to me and taps me on the shoulder. I turn around with a big smile and ask "how can I help you". He says "well, I plan to shoot everyone in this store, my family and my dog" I then asked him very calmly "Sir...were you considering Nikon or Canon?"
Why was the electron mad?
Well, it doesn't really matter...
Did you hear about the atom that was caught stealing electrons?
He was arrested and charged.
...this is the stuff I come up with while procrastinating studying for finals.
What do you call the electronic process of making a sandwich?
A sub routine.
Electrons love a bargain
An electron walks into a bar and asks the bartender "what kind of specials do you have today?"
Bartender says "for you, all prices are reduced".
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle...
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.
"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."
Read this in an email by the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) - science joke
"This newsletter is printed from 100% recycled electrons."
A burglar breaks into a house...
He starts searching the house for valuables and comes across some jewelery, which he begins to stuff into his bag. Just then a menacing voice echoes through the house moaning "Jesus is watching you". The burglar looks around, sees no one and decides his imagination is just playing tricks on him. As the burglar continues his search he finds some electronics, but before he can stuff them in his bag he hears the voice again moaning "Jesus is watching you". This time the burglar takes a good look around the room he's in and realizes that there is a bird cage with a parrot in it. He walks up to the parrot and asks, "Did you say that?". The parrot stares at him for a second and replies "yes". The burglar realizes that the parrot is somewhat intelligent so he asks "What's your name?". The parrot squawks "Moses".
"What kinda guy names his parrot Moses?"
"The same kinda guy who names his vicious rottweiler Jesus"
Job Interview
A games programmer is at a job interview at Electronic Arts.
As the interview comes to an end, the interviewer glances down at the programmer's résumé and sees "please turn over" written at the bottom.
He turns the résumé over, but finds that the other side is blank.
The interviewer asks, "Where's the rest of your résumé?"
The programmer replies, "Oh, that's downloadable content; it costs an extra ten dollars!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to fix water-damaged electronics
If you drop your phone in water, just leave it in a bag of rice over night.
The rice attracts Asians who will come fix it for you.
A proton, an electron, & a neutron walk into a bar...
...the proton orders a shot, drinks it, then takes out his wallet and pays the bartender.
the electron orders a shot, drinks it, then takes out his wallet and pays the bartender.
the neutron orders a shot, drinks it, then takes out his wallet.. the bartender stops him and says, "wait...for you, no charge..."
thank you, I'm here all week...
A helium atom and a hydrogen atom were talking.
A helium atom and a hydrogen atom were talking.
Hydrogen says to helium, 'Hey, I think I've lost my electron.'
Helium replies 'Oh, are you sure?'
Hydrogen responds 'I'm positive'.
Where do two electrons race?
On a circuit
One atom asks a hipster atom, "Hey, did you lose an electron?"
The hipster atom replies, "No, I'm just being ionic."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does the electron say to the resistor?
Ohm my god you're impeding me. *initiate knee slap
I'm like a single electron...
Sometimes, when no one is watching, I interfere with myself.
Seal loses electron
Did you hear about the seal that lost an electron?
It's now a seal ion.
It's important to distinguish between a seal and a sealion.
A sealion is just like a seal, but it's either gained or lost electrons.
What did one atom say to the other?
"I lost an electron..."
The other atom asks "Are you sure?"
First atom replies, "I'm positive!"
An electron is speeding down the highway when a police officer pulls him over.
The officer walks up to the car and asks, "do you know how fast you were going."
The electron replies, "Yeah, but now I'm lost."
Clinton, Sanders, Trump and Cruz are having lunch together...
and they're discussing why each thinks they'll win.
"I have the support of women and minorities" says Clinton. "I have the support of intellectuals" says Sanders "I have the support of the average american tired of politics as usual" says Trump.
Cruz just smiles..."I have the support of the people in charge of programming the electronic voting machines"
Two electrons were talking...
The first electron said: "I remember when I transferred to the ground state, good times"
The second electron, knowing the first was making the story up replied: "You've never been down there, there's no need to Lyman!"
Joke my scinence teacher dropped on us
A lithium atom walked into a bar and said
"Hey I think I left some electrons in here last night, have you seen any?"
The bar tender replied, "No, are you sure you lost them?"
The lithium atom replied "Yes I'm positive..."
A muffin and dough and are having a conversation.
And the muffin says, "Dude, everything is energy man; it's all energy swirling around. Good energy, and bad energy, and it all depends on what energy you tap into. It's like the planets and electrons and stuff; everything is swirling."
The dough replies, "Dude, you're baked."
He : How are u?
She : K
He : Cl
She : You want me to call u ?
He : No, I gave you Chlorine, give it your extra electron and make yourself stable
Hi electron, will you be at home tonight?
Probably.
A military officer was caught stealing electrons
His superiors immediately had him discharged.
Chemistry Joke!
Hydrogen and Carbon are walking down the street when they run into each other.
The Carbon says to Hydrogen, "Are you all right? You don't look so good."
"I'm not feeling very well," says the Hydrogen. "I lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the Carbon.
"Yeah, I'm positive." says the Hydrogen.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A proton walks over to an electron and asks, "Hey electron, why are you always so negative?"
The electron turns around, stares at him deeply for a brief moment, and responds, "My parents died in a car c**...."
___
*Reposting this joke because I originally posted it on the wrong account.*
My local electronics retailer is having a fire sale.
The Samsung Galaxy Note 7 is the hottest item.
A paladin and a warrior go into a mage's electronics store to buy computers.
The paladin asks for a Dell computer. The mage directs him to aisle five. The warrior asks for a Hewlett-Packard. The mage says "I'm all out of HP." The mage dies.
Even after repeated search attempts, the atom couldn't find its lost electron...
Yet, on the brighter side, it remained positive.
An atom loses an electron, another atom asks 'You sure?'
I'm positive.
I saw an electronic sign that said 'Check Your Speed' in flashing lights.
Lucky I did, it had almost fallen out of my pocket.
I just got in an argument with my grandpa about who's generation relies on electronics more
So, I pulled the plug on him. Guess I won that argument
An Atom walks into a drinking establishment
He sits down and orders a drink and then all of a sudden he starts crying. The bartender walks over and asks : "is everything okay?"
To which the Atom replies: " I lost an electron..". "Are you sure you lost it?" the bartender asks concerned. To which the atom replies:" I am fairly positive "
Electron walks into a bar, bartender says what'll you have?
Electron says, "I'm not positive, how about something that excites me.?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do electrons never take h**... tests?
They know their negative.
With great power...
Comes great Current squared Resistance.
Yeah, I need these mnemonics to pass tomorrow's electronics exam.
Electronics run on smoke...
It leaks out, they stop working.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wet phone solution.
Person 1: If you drop your phone into some water, fill a bag with rice and put the phone in the bag and sit it on the kitchen bench overnight.
During the night, the rice will attract asians who will fix your broken electronics.
Person 2: Dude, that's not how it works. They would eat the rice too.
The most well known person in the world
Some Spanish guy named "Manual"... A copy of his autobiography, printed in multiple languages, comes free with every electronic device or machinery... although much of his life story is lost in translation.
You would think that atoms bonding would mean they're being friendly to eachother
But instead they steal each others electrons.
How ionic.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do politicians, n**... women, and electrons all have in common?
**They change their behavior when being observed.**
(Does anything else?)
Did you hear about the electronic chemistry equipment that was sent to prison?
It was charged with a salt in battery.
What did one S-orbital electron say to the other?
"I'll be right back, I have to go P."
Three world famous conductors walk into a bar
A fan comes up to them and asks them, What's your secret to being such a successful conductor?
Conductor 1: I just always remember to stay calm and do what I practiced
Conductor 2: I always think about doing it for my family
Conductor three stares at them with a confused look
He says, I don't know what you guys are doing, I'm usually busy making sure I'm not holding onto my electrons to tightly
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jimmy Neutron (Split Personalities)
Jimmy Electron, Jimmy Proton and Carl w**...
LPT: Unplug your electronics to conserve energy, except for the fridge and the life support machine:
In those instances, you'd just be wasting vegetables.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Scientists say the universe is full of protons, neutrons and electrons.
But they forgot to mention morons.
Why did the German cross the road?
Because the electronic traffic signal indicated that it was the appropriate time to do so.
What do you call electronic grass on Mars?
An e-lawn.
I'm positive I lost an electron bumping into that anode.
Isn't that ionic?
What makes electronics work?
Smoke.
If you let the smoke out, the electronic component stops working.
