Electron Jokes
151 electron jokes and hilarious electron puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about electron that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Want to be the life of the party? Check out this collection of hilarious jokes about electrons, protons, neutrons, photons, electron clouds, electron configurations and electron microscopes that will have everyone in stitches!
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Funniest Electron Short Jokes
Short electron jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The electron humour may include short electric jokes also.
- I went to an Art Gallery, it was $60 to enter and $80 to look at each picture. It was called Electronic Arts.
- I was arrested the other day for stealing people's electrons. I was heavily charged, despite my victims saying it was an overall positive experience.
- None of my european electronics worked properly in the US, until I prayed to God. Turns out they just needed a higher power.
- Two atoms were walking down the street. One of them said, "I lost an electron." The other one said, "Are you sure?" and the first one said, "I'm positive!"
- Why did the dad proton want his daughter proton to marry an electron? So the wedding would be free of charge
- An atom walks into a bar… Bartender: What are you doing here?
Atom: I'm celebrating the loss of an electron.
Bartender: I'm keeping my ion you.
Atom: Don't worry, I'll keep things positive. - I asked a black man on the street if he could come fix my speaker set up, since he must be good at fixing electronics. He told me I used the wrong stereo type.
- Two atoms bump into each other. 2 atoms bump into each other. One says, "I think I lost an electron" The other asks,"Are you sure?"
To which the first replies, "I am positive" - Two atoms walk into a bar. The first one turns to the other and says "I think I've lost an electron!"
The second one goes "Are you sure?"
To which the first one replies "I'm positive." - Two ions are walking down the street... the first one says I'm missing an electron. The second one asks "Are you sure?" The first one says "I'm positive"
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Electron One Liners
Which electron one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with electron? I can suggest the ones about ionic and atomic.
- An atom loses an electron... It says, "man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
- what is the difference between a seal and a sea lion? An electron.
- How do you turn a seal into a sea lion? Remove an electron.
- I'm positive I lost an electron... ...better keep an ion that.
- First Stephen Hawking, now Avicii? Tough year for the Electronic community.
- Well my parents are finally sick of all my electronics puns. Now I'm grounded.
- I think I saw my friend with an extra electron... ...so I'm going to keep an ion him.
- Which element is most likely to surrender an electron? Francium.
- What fuels electronics but drains a relationship? Battery
- How do you make a Sea Lion? You remove an electron from a Seal!
- What's the difference between a seal and a sealion? An electron or two
- The electrons couldn't wait to become lightning When it happened, they were ex-static
- Molecule 1: I just lost an electron. Molecule 2: Are you sure?
Molecule 1: I'm positive. - How did the electron board the train? It lepton
- Why does texas have no power? Democrats stole the electrons.
Proton Electron Jokes
Here is a list of funny proton electron jokes and even better proton electron puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Scientists say the universe is full of protons, neutrons and electrons. But they forgot to mention morons.
- A proton walks up to an electron The proton says, "Why so negative?"
The electron says, "My wife is cheating on me." - A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron. Help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?"
The proton replies "I'm positive." - Special shop sale: electrons: 10 cents
protons: 10 cents
neutrons: free of charge - 55 protons, 78 neutrons, 55 electrons, 6 croutons. Cesium salad.
- What does electron and proton say when they go to war? Chaaaarge!!
- Protons, neutrons and electrons Are the little things that matter.
- What is satan's favourite chemical? Carbon. because it has 6 protons 6 neutrons and 6 electrons
- How do you call an insanely rich proton that spent all of his money to become an electron? Ex centric
- What did the proton say to the electron? Why do you always got to be so negative?
Valence Electron Jokes
Here is a list of funny valence electron jokes and even better valence electron puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- One atom says to another atom "Dude! I lost all my valence electrons!"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!" - Who did King Arthur leave in charge of watching his eight electrons? Sir Valence!
Uproarious Electron Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about electron you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean oxide jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make electron pranks.
So 2 atoms were walking down the street...
One suddenly says: Oh no, I think I lost an electron!
The other one asks: Are you sure man?
He says: Yes, I'm positive.
A non-observable electron...
...went into two bars...
Two atoms are sitting at a bar...
...and the first atom is looking pretty glum.
"What's wrong?" asks the second atom.
"I thnk I lost an electron."
"My God!" said the second atom. "Are you sure?"
"Yes," said the first. "I'm positive."
So a ion walks into a bar...
So an ion walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "hey I may have lost an electron." Bartender asks in reply, "are you sure?" Ion answers, "yeah, I'm positive."
An atom walks into a bar...
and orders a drink. The barman makes the drink and hands it over. The atom just sits there and sighs. "Why so down?" the barman asks. "Iv'e lost an electron." the atom answers. "Are you sure?" the barman asks. "I'm positive."
any jokes about electronic cigarettes?
I've recently started using one and every single person asks about it, why i use it, do i prefer it, etc, and i'd love to have a snappy joke or two to throw out about it!
My experiences working at an electronics store...
On a normal day at the shop a man walks up to me and taps me on the shoulder. I turn around with a big smile and ask "how can I help you". He says "well, I plan to shoot everyone in this store, my family and my dog" I then asked him very calmly "Sir...were you considering Nikon or Canon?"
Why was the electron mad?
Well, it doesn't really matter...
Did you hear about the atom that was caught stealing electrons?
He was arrested and charged.
...this is the stuff I come up with while procrastinating studying for finals.
i asked my wife to send me a naughty picture on snapchat...
so she sent one of our kids playing in my electronics drawer
Electrons love a bargain
An electron walks into a bar and asks the bartender "what kind of specials do you have today?"
Bartender says "for you, all prices are reduced".
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle...
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.
"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."
A burglar breaks into a house...
He starts searching the house for valuables and comes across some jewelery, which he begins to stuff into his bag. Just then a menacing voice echoes through the house moaning "Jesus is watching you". The burglar looks around, sees no one and decides his imagination is just playing tricks on him. As the burglar continues his search he finds some electronics, but before he can stuff them in his bag he hears the voice again moaning "Jesus is watching you". This time the burglar takes a good look around the room he's in and realizes that there is a bird cage with a parrot in it. He walks up to the parrot and asks, "Did you say that?". The parrot stares at him for a second and replies "yes". The burglar realizes that the parrot is somewhat intelligent so he asks "What's your name?". The parrot squawks "Moses".
"What kinda guy names his parrot Moses?"
"The same kinda guy who names his vicious rottweiler Jesus"
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar
One says, "I've lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."
So an atom walks into a bar...
He says, "Hey bartender, I think I lost an electron." The bartender asks him if he's sure, and he says , "Yeah, I'm positive."
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender says, "For you, no charge."
A photon walks into a bar. He sees his friend on the other side of the room, so he waves.
Two atoms were hanging out...
...and one says to the other, "Oh no! I think I've lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first says, "Yes, I'm positive!"
two atoms are talking..
"Hey Bob, why the long face?"
"I've just lost an electron."
"What, are you sure?"
"Yes..... I'm positive."
Two atoms were crossing the road...
...when the first atom screams "Ahhhhh! I lost an electron".
The second atom asks "Are you sure?"
to which the first atom replied "Yes, I'm positive."
Job Interview
A games programmer is at a job interview at Electronic Arts.
As the interview comes to an end, the interviewer glances down at the programmer's résumé and sees "please turn over" written at the bottom.
He turns the résumé over, but finds that the other side is blank.
The interviewer asks, "Where's the rest of your résumé?"
The programmer replies, "Oh, that's downloadable content; it costs an extra ten dollars!"
How to fix water-damaged electronics
If you drop your phone in water, just leave it in a bag of rice over night.
The rice attracts Asians who will come fix it for you.
A proton, an electron, & a neutron walk into a bar...
...the proton orders a shot, drinks it, then takes out his wallet and pays the bartender.
the electron orders a shot, drinks it, then takes out his wallet and pays the bartender.
the neutron orders a shot, drinks it, then takes out his wallet.. the bartender stops him and says, "wait...for you, no charge..."
thank you, I'm here all week...
A helium atom and a hydrogen atom were talking.
A helium atom and a hydrogen atom were talking.
Hydrogen says to helium, 'Hey, I think I've lost my electron.'
Helium replies 'Oh, are you sure?'
Hydrogen responds 'I'm positive'.
I think I lost an electron
I'm feeling pretty positive though
One atom asks a hipster atom, "Hey, did you lose an electron?"
The hipster atom replies, "No, I'm just being ionic."
I'm like a single electron...
Sometimes, when no one is watching, I interfere with myself.
Seal loses electron
Did you hear about the seal that lost an electron?
It's now a seal ion.
Two atoms are walking down the street...
Two atoms are walking down the street together. The first atom turns and says, "Hey, you just stole an electron from me!"
"Are you sure?" asks the second atom.
To which the first atom replies, "Yeah, I'm positive!"
It's important to distinguish between a seal and a sealion.
A sealion is just like a seal, but it's either gained or lost electrons.
An electron is speeding down the highway when a police officer pulls him over.
The officer walks up to the car and asks, "do you know how fast you were going."
The electron replies, "Yeah, but now I'm lost."
A cop stops an electron for speeding.
He says "Did you know you were going 100 mph?"
"Great", says the electron, "now I'm lost!"
If your phone gets wet, try placing it in a bag of rice...
... at night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.
Clinton, Sanders, Trump and Cruz are having lunch together...
and they're discussing why each thinks they'll win.
"I have the support of women and minorities" says Clinton. "I have the support of intellectuals" says Sanders "I have the support of the average american tired of politics as usual" says Trump.
Cruz just smiles..."I have the support of the people in charge of programming the electronic voting machines"
I walked past an electronics store once...
I saw a TV for sale in the window. The sticker said, "TV for sale, volume stuck on full, $1"
I thought to myself, "Wow. I can't turn that down."
A military officer was caught stealing electrons
His superiors immediately had him discharged.
An electron is driving down the highway...
...and a policeman pulls him over. The policeman says, Sir, do you realize that you were traveling at 670,616,629 MPH?
The electron replies, Oh great, now I'm lost.
Two atoms are walking together...
One of them says:
Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.
The other replies, Are you sure?
The first says, Yes, I'm positive.
*This is an oldy all over the internet, but very cute.*
Chemistry Joke!
Hydrogen and Carbon are walking down the street when they run into each other.
The Carbon says to Hydrogen, "Are you all right? You don't look so good."
"I'm not feeling very well," says the Hydrogen. "I lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the Carbon.
"Yeah, I'm positive." says the Hydrogen.
A proton walks over to an electron and asks, "Hey electron, why are you always so negative?"
The electron turns around, stares at him deeply for a brief moment, and responds, "My parents died in a car c**...."
___
*Reposting this joke because I originally posted it on the wrong account.*
I saw an electronic sign that said 'Check Your Speed' in flashing lights.
Lucky I did, it had almost fallen out of my pocket.
I just got in an argument with my grandpa about who's generation relies on electronics more
So, I pulled the plug on him. Guess I won that argument
Electron walks into a bar, bartender says what'll you have?
Electron says, "I'm not positive, how about something that excites me.?
I tried to give iodine a full electron shell...
...but iodide.
A positive ion stole an electron yesterday.
He got away with no charge.
Wet phone solution.
Person 1: If you drop your phone into some water, fill a bag with rice and put the phone in the bag and sit it on the kitchen bench overnight.
During the night, the rice will attract asians who will fix your broken electronics.
Person 2: Dude, that's not how it works. They would eat the rice too.
The most well known person in the world
Some Spanish guy named "Manual"... A copy of his autobiography, printed in multiple languages, comes free with every electronic device or machinery... although much of his life story is lost in translation.
You would think that atoms bonding would mean they're being friendly to eachother
But instead they steal each others electrons.
How ionic.
I met a Nuclear Engineer the other day.
He had a bunch of Electronic Engineers buzzing around him.
What do politicians, n**... women, and electrons all have in common?
**They change their behavior when being observed.**
(Does anything else?)
I think I lost an electron
In fact, I'm positive.
LPT: Unplug your electronics to conserve energy, except for the fridge and the life support machine:
In those instances, you'd just be wasting vegetables.
Why did the German cross the road?
Because the electronic traffic signal indicated that it was the appropriate time to do so.
Computer games are said to be a bad influence on kids.
Nonsense - my generation grew up playing Pac-Man, but did we end up dashing around dark rooms and swallowing white dots while listening to electronic music?
An ion walks into a bar and tells the bartender I think I dropped an electron on the way in. The bartender asks, are you sure?
I'm positive
Two atoms are driving together, lose control and smash into a tree...
ATOM #1: are you ok?
ATOM #2: oh my god, no! I think I lost an electron!
ATOM #1: are you sure?
ATOM #2: yes, I'm positive!
An electron is driving really fast...
...when a cop pulls it over.
"Do you even know how fast you were going there?" Asks the cop.
"Of course," replies the electron, "I knew exactly how fast I was going. But I thought this was the highway!"
"The highway?" The cop asks, shocked. "Do you even know where you are?"
The electron thinks for a moment and says, "No."
A few electrons are having a party
When suddenly, an uninvited proton enters, and since opposites attract, all the electrons get stuck to him. Unable to pull themselves away from the gatecrasher, they scream for help. A mystery stranger hears their cries, jumps in, pulls all the electrons off and throws the proton out of the premises. The grateful electrons ask their saviour to identify himself. Mysteriously, he pulls down his hat and answers:
"Bond. Covalent Bond."
A proton, electron and a neuton get into a bar fight.
The bartender calls cops and they show up to arrest everyone. The cops cuff the proton and electron but they let the neutron go because nobody could press charges.
An edited version of a joke that's been already posted.
A proton, a neutron, and an electron got into a bar fight.
The bartender called the police, but when the officers arrived, they only arrested the proton. Confused, the bartender asked, why did you only arrest the proton?
To which one of the officers replied, well you see, the electron kept running around the proton like a madman, so we couldn't know its exact location. And no one can press charges on the neutron.
What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion?
A couple electrons
