Electron Jokes

What are some Electron jokes?

An atom loses an electron...

It says, "man, I really gotta keep an ion them."

How do you turn a seal into a sea lion?

Remove an electron.

I'm positive I lost an electron...

...better keep an ion that.

Why did the dad proton want his daughter proton to marry an electron?

So the wedding would be free of charge

I think I saw my friend with an extra electron...

...so I'm going to keep an ion him.

A proton, electron and a neuton get into a bar fight.

The bartender calls cops and they show up to arrest everyone. The cops cuff the proton and electron but they let the neutron go because nobody could press charges.

Two atoms walk into a bar.

The first one turns to the other and says "I think I've lost an electron!"

The second one goes "Are you sure?"

To which the first one replies "I'm positive."

Two ions are walking down the street...

the first one says I'm missing an electron. The second one asks "Are you sure?" The first one says "I'm positive"

Which element is most likely to surrender an electron?

Francium.

How do you make a Sea Lion?

You remove an electron from a Seal!

So an atom walks into a bar...

He says, "Hey bartender, I think I lost an electron." The bartender asks him if he's sure, and he says , "Yeah, I'm positive."

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender says, "For you, no charge."

A photon walks into a bar. He sees his friend on the other side of the room, so he waves.

An electron is speeding down the highway when a police officer pulls him over.

The officer walks up to the car and asks, "do you know how fast you were going."

The electron replies, "Yeah, but now I'm lost."

An electron is driving really fast...

...when a cop pulls it over.

"Do you even know how fast you were going there?" Asks the cop.

"Of course," replies the electron, "I knew exactly how fast I was going. But I thought this was the highway!"

"The highway?" The cop asks, shocked. "Do you even know where you are?"

The electron thinks for a moment and says, "No."

An electron is driving down the highway...

...and a policeman pulls him over. The policeman says, Sir, do you realize that you were traveling at 670,616,629 MPH?

The electron replies, Oh great, now I'm lost.

Two atoms were hanging out...

...and one says to the other, "Oh no! I think I've lost an electron!"

The other says, "Are you sure?"

The first says, "Yes, I'm positive!"

A few electrons are having a party

When suddenly, an uninvited proton enters, and since opposites attract, all the electrons get stuck to him. Unable to pull themselves away from the gatecrasher, they scream for help. A mystery stranger hears their cries, jumps in, pulls all the electrons off and throws the proton out of the premises. The grateful electrons ask their saviour to identify himself. Mysteriously, he pulls down his hat and answers:

"Bond. Covalent Bond."

Chemistry Joke!

Hydrogen and Carbon are walking down the street when they run into each other.

The Carbon says to Hydrogen, "Are you all right? You don't look so good."

"I'm not feeling very well," says the Hydrogen. "I lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?" asks the Carbon.

"Yeah, I'm positive." says the Hydrogen.

Two atoms are sitting at a bar...

...and the first atom is looking pretty glum.

"What's wrong?" asks the second atom.

"I thnk I lost an electron."

"My God!" said the second atom. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," said the first. "I'm positive."

A proton, an electron, & a neutron walk into a bar...

...the proton orders a shot, drinks it, then takes out his wallet and pays the bartender.

the electron orders a shot, drinks it, then takes out his wallet and pays the bartender.

the neutron orders a shot, drinks it, then takes out his wallet.. the bartender stops him and says, "wait...for you, no charge..."

thank you, I'm here all week...

Molecule 1: I just lost an electron.

Molecule 2: Are you sure?
Molecule 1: I'm positive.

I saw an electronic sign that said 'Check Your Speed' in flashing lights.

Lucky I did, it had almost fallen out of my pocket.

A proton walks over to an electron and asks, "Hey electron, why are you always so negative?"

The electron turns around, stares at him deeply for a brief moment, and responds, "My parents died in a car crash."


___

*Reposting this joke because I originally posted it on the wrong account.*

How did the electron board the train?

It lepton

Two atoms were crossing the road...

...when the first atom screams "Ahhhhh! I lost an electron".
The second atom asks "Are you sure?"
to which the first atom replied "Yes, I'm positive."

I'm like a single electron...

Sometimes, when no one is watching, I interfere with myself.

two atoms are talking..

"Hey Bob, why the long face?"
"I've just lost an electron."
"What, are you sure?"
"Yes..... I'm positive."

One atom asks a hipster atom, "Hey, did you lose an electron?"

The hipster atom replies, "No, I'm just being ionic."

Electron walks into a bar, bartender says what'll you have?

Electron says, "I'm not positive, how about something that excites me.?

So a ion walks into a bar...

So an ion walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "hey I may have lost an electron." Bartender asks in reply, "are you sure?" Ion answers, "yeah, I'm positive."

What's the most electronegative state?

Fluorida!

A proton walks up to an electron

The proton says, "Why so negative?"

The electron says, "My wife is cheating on me."

I think I lost an electron

In fact, I'm positive.

I tried to give iodine a full electron shell...

...but iodide.

So 2 atoms were walking down the street...

One suddenly says: Oh no, I think I lost an electron!
The other one asks: Are you sure man?
He says: Yes, I'm positive.

A positive ion stole an electron yesterday.

He got away with no charge.

Two atoms are walking together...

One of them says:

Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.

The other replies, Are you sure?

The first says, Yes, I'm positive.

*This is an oldy all over the internet, but very cute.*

An ion walks into a bar and tells the bartender I think I dropped an electron on the way in. The bartender asks, are you sure?

I'm positive

Seal loses electron

Did you hear about the seal that lost an electron?
It's now a seal ion.

I think I lost an electron

I'm feeling pretty positive though

Why was the electron mad?

Well, it doesn't really matter...

An atom walks into a bar...

and orders a drink. The barman makes the drink and hands it over. The atom just sits there and sighs. "Why so down?" the barman asks. "Iv'e lost an electron." the atom answers. "Are you sure?" the barman asks. "I'm positive."

An edited version of a joke that's been already posted.

A proton, a neutron, and an electron got into a bar fight.

The bartender called the police, but when the officers arrived, they only arrested the proton. Confused, the bartender asked, why did you only arrest the proton?

To which one of the officers replied, well you see, the electron kept running around the proton like a madman, so we couldn't know its exact location. And no one can press charges on the neutron.

Two atoms are walking down the street...

Two atoms are walking down the street together. The first atom turns and says, "Hey, you just stole an electron from me!"

"Are you sure?" asks the second atom.

To which the first atom replies, "Yeah, I'm positive!"

Two atoms are driving together, lose control and smash into a tree...

ATOM #1: are you ok?

ATOM #2: oh my god, no! I think I lost an electron!

ATOM #1: are you sure?

ATOM #2: yes, I'm positive!

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar

One says, "I've lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.

The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron. Help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?"

The proton replies "I'm positive."

A cop stops an electron for speeding.

He says "Did you know you were going 100 mph?"

"Great", says the electron, "now I'm lost!"

A non-observable electron...

...went into two bars...

What does electron and proton say when they go to war?

Chaaaarge!!

Electrons love a bargain

An electron walks into a bar and asks the bartender "what kind of specials do you have today?"

Bartender says "for you, all prices are reduced".

A Compilation of Awful, Somewhat Nerdy Jokes

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"To."

"To who?"

"To whom*."
___________________________________________________________
What do they do to tickle me elmo before he leaves the factory?

Give him two test tickles!
___________________________________________________________
What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
___________________________________________________________
Two atoms duck into the trenches after an intense firefight.

One atom exclaims, "I think I lost an electron!"

The other asks if he's sure, and the atom replies, "Yes! I'm positive!"

What happens when you take an electron off a seal?

You get a sea lion

A Hydrogen atom suddenly exclaimed: "I think I just lost my electron!"

"Are you sure?" Asked its friend,
"Yes" replied the first, "I'm positive."

Two atoms are walking down the street....

One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"


The other inquires, "Are you sure?"


"Yes, I'm positive!"

Electronics run on smoke...

It leaks out, they stop working.

Two hydrogen atoms are walking down a street

All of a sudden, one stops and says oh my goodness I've lost my electron! The other turns to him and says are you sure to which the first replies yeah! I'm positive!

What did one atom say to the other?

"I lost an electron..."

The other atom asks "Are you sure?"

First atom replies, "I'm positive!"

A Hydrogen atom walks into a bar...

...and asks for a shot.
Bartender, "what's the occasion?"
Atom, "I think I lost an electron."
Bartender, "you sure?"
Atom, "I'm positive."

How do you call an insanely rich proton that spent all of his money to become an electron?

Ex centric

Two electrons were talking...

The first electron said: "I remember when I transferred to the ground state, good times"

The second electron, knowing the first was making the story up replied: "You've never been down there, there's no need to Lyman!"

Hi electron, will you be at home tonight?

Probably.

An atom is walking down the street...

An atom is walking down the street when he meets a friend of his, who is evidently distraught. "What's the matter...is everything OK?" the atom asks his friend. "Well, I think I might have lost an electron," responds the other atom. "Are you sure?" asks the first. "I'm positive!" replies his friend.

Two atoms sitting in a bar..

One says I lost an electron. The other asks are you sure ?

Yeah I'm positive

What does the electron say to the resistor?

Ohm my god you're impeding me. *initiate knee slap

Hydrogen walks into a bar

and yells "Oh no! I've lost my electron!"

The bartender says, "Are you sure?"

"I'm positive!"

Jimmy Neutron (Split Personalities)

Jimmy Electron, Jimmy Proton and Carl Weiner

An atom loses an electron, another atom asks 'You sure?'

I'm positive.

What did one S-orbital electron say to the other?

"I'll be right back, I have to go P."

I met a depressed electron the other day.

He wasn't very positive.

One atom bumped into another atom,

And said, "hey I just lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?" Asks the other atom.

"Yes, I'm positive!"

An electron was pulled over by the quantum state patrol...

The officer walked up to the car and said, "do you know how fast you were going?" To which the electron responded "no, but I know where I am!"

A Neutron Walks Into a Bar

And says "Oh my God I think I just lost an electron!" The bartender asks "are you positive?"

My electronegativity class in college was such a blow off class!

I got an F on all my exams for the class, but I still managed to maintain a 4.0 GPA.

An atom walks to a bar

He tells the bartender he lost an electron.
The bartender says, "Are you positive?"

An Atom walks into a drinking establishment

He sits down and orders a drink and then all of a sudden he starts crying. The bartender walks over and asks : "is everything okay?"
To which the Atom replies: " I lost an electron..". "Are you sure you lost it?" the bartender asks concerned. To which the atom replies:" I am fairly positive "

What do you get when you give a seal an extra electron?

A sealion

A proton, an electron and a neutrino walk into a black hole

That's it

What did the proton say to the electron?

Why do you always got to be so negative?

What does as electronic engineer make for breakfast?

Ohmlettes

Where do two electrons race?

On a circuit

Even after repeated search attempts, the atom couldn't find its lost electron...

Yet, on the brighter side, it remained positive.

All Electrons were having the party

All Electrons were having the party

Suddenly protons attacked them..

A hero came and saved the electrons..

Electrons asked hero: "Who are you ?? "

.

.

.

.

Hero said : " BOND .. COVALENT BOND "

I lost an electron.

Are you positive?

Lost an electron

Really gotta keep an ion them.

Are electrons pessimistic or optimistic?

Obviously pessimistic, they are always negative!

A proton walks into the police station.

He says, "Someone stole my electron!"

The police ask, "Are you sure?"

The proton says, "I'm positive!"

Hydrogen atom walks into a bar and says to the barman:

Have you seen an electron? I've lost mine"

Barman:"You sure?"

H.A.: "I'm positive"

Yeah..sorry 'bout that.

An atom walks into a bar

An atom walks into a bar with his atom friend.
1st atom said: I think I lost an electron, the 2nd atom replied: Are you possitive?

Why do electrons never take HIV tests?

They know their negative.

Why did the scientist abandon making his electron radio?

There was too much static.

How to make Electron jokes?

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