Electricity Jokes

What are some Electricity jokes?

I told my boss that three companies were after me and I need a raise....

My boss asked what companies?

Gas, water and electricity.

A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store.

They gave me another one free of charge.

What did little Johnny's mother do when she caught him zapping the other children with static electricity?

She grounded him.

When I was a little kid, I was afraid of the dark.

But then I grew up and saw the electricity bill.

I'm now afraid of light.

Why is the French military always shocked when they lose a battle?

Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance*

Sarcasm is like electricity

Half of the world still doesn't get it!

With great power comes great...

electricity bills

If electricity always follows the path of least resistance

Why doesn't lightning only strike in France?

What did Sean Connery say when he noticed that there wasn't any electricity in the Pennsylvania countryside?

"Shomething'sh Amish..."

Mike Pence doesn't believe in science

But he wants to use electricity to turn fruits into vegetables

What did soviet russians use for lighting before they started using candles?

Electricity.

Before candles, what did North Korean communists use to light their homes with?

Electricity.

My electricity bill was running suspiciously high

Had the power company send someone over. He found a wire tapped into my house running to a neighbor's. Watt do you know, a Joule thief lives next to my Ohm.

A man storms into his manager's office

and demands a raise. "And just so you know," he blusters, "three other companies are after me!"

"Is that so?" the manager says. "Which companies in particular?"

"The electricity company, the telephone company and the gas company."

What did Russians used to light their houses with before candles?

Electricity.

What did communists use for light before candles?

Electricity.

Why are wires addicted to electricity?

They can't resist.

If hydrolysis is splitting things with water and electrolysis is splitting things with electricity...

... What is analysis?

Hillbilly Birth

Deep in the back woods of Eastern Kentucky, a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.

Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, 'Here, you hold this high so I can see what I am doing!'


Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. 'Whoa there', said the doctor, 'Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down I think there's another one coming.'

Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. 'Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!' Said the doctor.


Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby 'No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there's yet another one coming!' cried the doctor.


The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, 'You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?'

What did the blonde say after the lesson on electricity?

Watt?

How many congressmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

Doesn't really matter, they forgot to pass the electricity bill again.

What did the people of Venezuela use to light their homes before candles?

Electricity.

How to ask for a raise

Employee: Sir, I really need a salary increment, 4 companies are after me.


Boss: Which 4?


Employee: Electricity, Gas, Cable, Credit Card.

A new source of electricity is found!

Lincoln is is infinitely rolling in his grave right now.

We can use that somehow.

I opened my water and electricity bills at the same time.

I was shocked.

Q. What did Zimbabweans do before candles?

A. They had electricity.

There aren't many puns about electricity

I'd be shocked if I thought of one!

What did socialists use before candles?

Electricity

What do you name an electricity generator that makes infinite amounts of power?

Wattever.

why can't coffee conduct electricity?

because it is grounded

When we were kids we used to be afraid of darkness

However, when we grew up and saw the electricity bill we became afraid of light.

There's been a lot of scammers claiming they're from the electric company calling to get payments from overdue bills…

They're getting pretty crafty- they even turned off my electricity.

My friend told me how electricity is measured and I was like

Watt

Facebook says: I know everyone. Google says: I know everything. The "Internet" says: Ya'll are nothing without me.

Electricity says: Not this game again...

I was scared of the dark when i was a kid...

Now im afraid of the lights because of the electricity bills.

Before invention of electricity

Judge: I sentence you to death by the acoustic chair.

The Lantern

Deep in the back woods of Letcher County, Kentucky a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.
As there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here..You hold this high so I can see what I am doing!" Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.
"Whoa, there," said the doctor, "Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern
down - I think there's another one coming!" Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl.
"Keep holding that lantern up - don't set it down! There's another one!!" said the doctor. Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby. "No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there's yet another one coming!" cried the doctor. The hillbilly scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, "You
reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?"

How many Nigerians does it take to change a light bulb?

Never mind, I forgot there was no electricity in Nigeria.

Q. What did the Syrians use to light their homes before candles?

A. Electricity.

The Detective

Who was the first electricity detective?

Sherlock Ohms

Today I found out how electricity was measured...

I was like watt???

An engineer, physicist, and a statistician in a hotel room...

So an engineer, a physicist, and a statistician are all sleeping in a hotel room when suddenly an outlet catches fire. The engineer wakes up first and says to himself "this is an electrical fire, water won't work!" And runs to grab a fire extinguisher. The physicist wakes up next and thinks to himself "we have to cut the electricity off!" And runs to the power panel in the basement. The statistician wakes up and looks around, he then screams "we need more data!!" And he sets the curtains on fire.

I tried to think of an electricity pun

Now my head hertz

If electricity is always directing itself to the least resistant, where would it go?

The French

Gotta love Russia

A man decides to go and settle down in Russia. Once there, however, he realizes that the country is in terrible shape: Disease everywhere, people going hungry, no electricity, everything is in shambles. He goes to buy a loaf of bread, but sees the a huge line in front of the store. After waiting in line for nearly 5 hours, he can't take it anymore.

"THAT'S IT!" He screams. "I am going to kill Putin, he is responsible for this, enough is enough" and he runs out of the line to find Putin.

After a few minutes, he quietly returns back to the line. The guy behind him asks "Hey, I thought you went to kill Putin, what happened?"

The man replies "That line was even longer"

Even the most intelligent people can't survive a day without electricity

Like Stephen Hawking

Space heaters are such a waste of electricity

I'm on Earth.

I once got into so much debt

I couldn't even afford my electricity bills, they were the darkest times of my life.

You shouldnt play with electricity guys

You might get grounded.

I was replacing a light fixture outside our front door when suddenly the electricity shorted through my screwdriver and made me drop it. My wife opened the door and said, "I turned on the light so you can see better while you're working."

I was too shocked to reply.

When the electricity runs out

Those on the escalators will be the first to fall.

How many Venezuelans does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter, they have no electricity.

I used to be interested in mains electricity when I was a kid...

... then, the interest would go away again.

Turns out, it was just a phase.

How to make Electricity jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Electricity to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Electricity? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Electricity pick up lines to share with friends.

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