Electricity Jokes
175 electricity jokes and hilarious electricity puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about electricity that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for a way to brighten your day? Check out these funny jokes about electricity, static electricity, pollution, hydro, and electricians. From light-hearted jabs at polluted cities to a pun-filled electrician exchange, these jokes are sure to get you laughing - no electricity required!
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Funniest Electricity Short Jokes
Short electricity jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The electricity humour may include short electric currents jokes also.
- My son kept chewing on electrical chords, so I grounded him... He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.
- How many BuzzFeed workers does it take to turn on an electric chair? Thirteen. But number nine will shock you.
- I told my boss that three companies were after me and I need a raise.... My boss asked what companies?
Gas, water and electricity. - A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.
- What's the difference between elon musk and a lemur? elon musk made an electric car
Lemurs Madagascar - How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer? Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".
- What did little Johnny's mother do when she caught him zapping the other children with static electricity? She grounded him.
- Honda is coming out with the 1st electric vehicle with wireless charging It's called the Honda Accordless
- What's the difference between Taxes and Texas? Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.
- When I was a little kid, I was afraid of the dark. But then I grew up and saw the electricity bill.
I'm now afraid of light.
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Electricity One Liners
Which electricity one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with electricity? I can suggest the ones about electrical and electrical wiring.
- What did Texans use for heat before the advent of firewood? Electricity
- What did Britons use to light their homes before candle? Electricity.
- Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked
- When a tesla drifts, It's called the electric slide
- I can't afford to pay for electricity anymore... these are some dark times.
- I put up an electric fence around my house. My neighbor is dead against it.
- Sarcasm is like electricity Half of the world still doesn't get it!
- With great power comes great... electricity bills
- I was gonna tell a joke about Electricity, But I forgot Watt it was.
- I asked an electrician to fix the electricity in my house... He Re-fused.
- Why wasn't Bill Murray cast as Thor? Because nobody likes an electricity bill.
- "You're a unit of electrical energy, Harry." "I'm a watt?"
- What did soviet russians use for lighting before they started using candles? Electricity.
- I bought a new set of Electric Garden Trimmers. They're cutting-hedge technology.
- I asked an electrician to fix an electrical issue at my house He refused
Electricity Bill Jokes
Here is a list of funny electricity bill jokes and even better electricity bill puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- [First Date] Her: I'm usually attracted to men with power. Me: That's great, I always pay my electric bill on time.
- I'm so much in debt, I can't afford to pay my electric bill... These are the darkest days of my life...
- In college, my roommates and I were so broke, we couldn't afford to pay the electricity bill. Those were the darkest days of our lives.
- My local Chinese restaurant has been hit with a £10k electricity bill. They said they can't turn off all the lights but they do dim sum.
- Why do Hanzo players have such high electric bills? They never switch off.
- How many congressmen does it take to change a lightbulb? Doesn't really matter, they forgot to pass the electricity bill again.
- There's been a lot of scammers claiming they're from the electric company calling to get payments from overdue bills… They're getting pretty crafty- they even turned off my electricity.
- What did the alcoholic do after he couldn't afford the electric bill? He took a shot in the dark!
- How did the church save money on their electric bill? They switched to souler power from the son.
- All this Spending on Black Friday Better make sure ya'll pay the electric bill first or next Friday will be Black Friday too
Conducts Electricity Jokes
Here is a list of funny conducts electricity jokes and even better conducts electricity puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why can't you take electricity to social events? Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself.
- why can't coffee conduct electricity? because it is grounded
- So my kid was eating electric cables So I had to ground him until he conducts better
- Broke up with my girlfriend because she stopped conducting electricity. She is Ex-Static.
- What do you call a violin player who's killed by an electric chair? Conducted.
- Why don't hipsters bother with electrical conductivity in Periodicity? Because it's the current trend
- Copper is highly conductive of electricity. Does that make it "powermetal?"
Generated Electricity Jokes
Here is a list of funny generated electricity jokes and even better generated electricity puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you name an electricity generator that makes infinite amounts of power? Wattever.
- I made a generator which created electricity through jokes that were confusing but funny regardless. It created lots of gigglewhats.
- Civil engineer fired after forgetting how to design electricity-generating water barriers. He lost his dam mind.
- Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
Static Electricity Jokes
Here is a list of funny static electricity jokes and even better static electricity puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call an electric car that isn't moving? Static
- Before I met my girlfriend I was out of control. I was wild and always getting shocked by static electricity. But not anymore... She really keeps me grounded.
No Electricity Jokes
Here is a list of funny no electricity jokes and even better no electricity puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between watts and ohms? Watts are a unit of electrical energy. Ohms are where British people live.
- In a fit of rage, a friend of mine ran over a pedestrian with his electric car. He will be charged with battery.
- Why is the French military always shocked when they lose a battle? Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance*
- I've just done my part to help the environment. I unplugged 6 electric vehicles that no one was using.
- What did Sean Connery say when he noticed that there wasn't any electricity in the Pennsylvania countryside? "Shomething'sh Amish..."
- Two electric windmills are standing in a field. One turns to the other and asks "What kind of music do you like?" The second one replies "I'm a huge metal fan".
- Mike Pence doesn't believe in science But he wants to use electricity to turn fruits into vegetables
- An alligator asked an electric eel, hey, can I touch you? Electric eel: Yes, but I'd have to charge you.
- How many Buzzfeed employees does it take to operate an electric chair? 10, but 4 will shock you.
- Tesla is considering releasing a line of electric buses named after Egyptian gods. It'll be A-new-bus.
Uplifting Electricity Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about electricity you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean electric charge jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make electricity pranks.
A young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, 'Father,may I ask a favor?'
'Of course child. What can I do for you?'
'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electric hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for
me? Under your robes perhaps?
'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.'
'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her..
The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'
'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.'
The official thought this answer strange, so he asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'
'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'
Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!
The problem majoring in Electrical Engineering...
is keeping up with Current Events.
Appliances
My wife has made me buy an electric bread maker, electric stove, electric blender, electric toaster and other appliances. Now she's complaining that we have too many appliances and nowhere to sit down. So I bought her an electric chair.
Jesus vs Satan
Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.
They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.
He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."
"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.
He stutters, "B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact. How did he do it?"
God smiled all-knowingly, "Jesus saves."
What's the best thing about having Parkinson's?
Never having to buy another electric toothbrush.
Snow wife.
One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park..." then the electric power goes out.
Bob's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?"
With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Bob says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
Three Engineers
A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a civil engineer are sitting around and talking about God.
The mechanical engineer says, "God is a mechanical engineer. Just look at the human body - a light-weight skeleton with moving parts holding up a massive frame of muscle and fat. God must be a mechanical engineer!"
The electrical engineer disagrees. "No, no. God is an electrical engineer. Just look at the human body - the nerve system routes electrical signals to the brain which is essentially a computer. God must be an electrical engineer!"
The civil engineer disagrees. "No, no. God is a civil engineer. Just look at the human body - only a civil engineer would run a toxic waste pipe through a playground."
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle...
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.
"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."
Four engineers in a car...
Four engineers are driving to a conference when the car sputters and dies as they pull off to the shoulder. After a moment of silent contemplation, the electrical engineer says; "you know, I bet the coil's bad. We need to replace the core." The chemical engineer says; "you're nuts, it's obviously the fuel's gone bad. We need to drain the tank and refill." The mechanical engineer scoffs; "you're both wrong. Sounds to me like a valve lifter is froze. We're gonna need to rip the block apart."
After another moment of silence the three look back at the computer engineer who says; "maybe if we get out of the car and get back in?"
Sam walks into his boss's office.
Sir, I'll be straight with you, I know the economy isn't great, but I have over three companies after me, and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.
After a few minutes of haggling the boss finally agrees to a 5 per cent raise, and Sam happily gets up to leave.
By the way , asks the boss as Sam is getting up, which three companies are after you?
The electric company, water company, and phone company , Sam replied.
Charlie the Street Car Conductor
Long joke that is passed down in my family
So down in New Orleans there lived a man named Charlie. Charlie ever since he was a young boy wanted to grow up to be a streer car conductor. When he finally became old enough, he applied for the job and lo and behold he got it. Now Charlie was the friendliest street conductor that the city has ever seen. Not only did he never complain about his job, but also he greeted everyone who boarded his street car and treated them like family. Everything in his life was perfect for Charlie until one day he decided to operate the street car after having a few drinks. In his drunken state, he crashed the streetcar and killed all the passengers. After going to court Charlie was sentences to death by the eletric chair. When the day came for his execution, a gaurd visited Charlie's cell and asked him what he wanted for his final meal. Charlie replied, "I want a rotten tomato and a raw fish." After Charlie finished his meal he headed into the execution room and sat down in the eletric chair. The warden gave the order to pull the switch and the room went dark as thousands of volts passed through Charlies body. After the switch was thrown back it came as a suprise that Charlie was in fact still alive. Having no idea what else to do the warden let Charlie out of jail but banned him from ever operating a streetcar in New Orleans. Since street cars were his life Charlie decided "Hey I'll go to Japan, I hear they have fancy new street cars there." In Japan Charlie gets a job as a conductor again, but as before decides that after having a few drinks that he is still able to work the street car. To no suprise Charlie crashes the stree car and kills all the passengers. Charlie again finds himself in jail ordering his last meal. "A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. After the meal was eaten, Charlie was led to the chair and once again survives the eletricity. Because he wasn't dying, he was set free but banned from operating the street cars in Japan. Charlie thought to himself, "Well I heard San Francisco still has street cars operating so I'll go there." As you can guess Charlie ends up in the same situation and again orders the same meal " A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. The warden from San Francisco had heard of Charlie and his previous death sentences so before he brought Charlie in to be executed he sent a letter to the mayor asking to reroute the city's eletricity to the jail. The mayor approved and confident with his new found power the warden smiled and gave the order to pull the switch. The lights in the room burst from the overload and the smell of something burning overwelmed the air. The warden after a minute ordered the gaurd to shut off the chair and as the smoke cleared, there was Charlie same as always. Distraught with emotion, the warden told Charlie to get out of his sights. Charlie, tired of going to jail, finally decided that maybe he shouldn't be a street car conductor after all. So Charlie travels back to New Orleans and meets his friend Thibodaux at a bar. Thibodaux after a few minutes of small talk tells Charlie "Everyone has heard about the eletric chair incidents and I just gotta axe, how were you able to survive all them jolts of electricity through your body? Was there something you did that made you resistant to it?" Charlie looks at Thibodaux and says "I dunno, I guess I was just a bad conductor."
Three Engineers are having an argument...
The first says: "God must be a mechanical engineer -- just look at the joints in the human body."
The second says: "God is an electrical engineer -- just look at the nervous system."
The third says: "God has to be a civil engineer -- who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through a perfectly good recreational area?"
World Cut Soccer
A little old Brazilian lady was walking down the street dragging two plastic garbage bags. One bag had a hole in it and $20 bills were flying out of it.
A policeman stopped her and said, "Ma'am, you're losing a lot of bills from that bag."
"Darnd!" she said, "Thanks for the warning. I'll go back and pick them up."
"Hold on there! Where'd all that money come from? Did you steal it?"
"Oh, no," she said. "My yard backs up on the stadium parking lot and, during tailgate parties, a lot of guys use my flower beds as bathrooms. So I stand behind a bush with my electric hedge clipper and when one is in mid-stream, I fire up the trimmer and say: '$20 or off it comes!'"
"Wow. Good idea!" laughed the cop. "But what's in the other bag?"
"Well," said the little old lady, "not all of them pay up!"
I once went to an open air Queen concert.
It was good, but there was a terrible electrical storm during the set
Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening...
I got an electric shock yesterday.
I couldn't resist it
Why did the police beat the black man after he was executed in the electric chair?
He was resisting.
Why are wires addicted to electricity?
They can't resist.
How to ask for a raise
Employee: Sir, I really need a salary increment, 4 companies are after me.
Boss: Which 4?
Employee: Electricity, Gas, Cable, Credit Card.
Los Angeles announced plans to lease 288 all-electric police cars. Do you know where they'll use them?
In Watts.
I'll see myself out now.
EAR ACCIDENT
A construction worker accidentally cuts off one of his ears with an electric saw.
He calls out to a guy walking on the street below, "Hey, do you see my ear down there?"
The guy on the street picks up an ear and yells back, "Is this it?"
"No," replies the construction worker. "Mine had a pencil behind it."
Criminal on the electric chair. The officer ask: Any last wishes?
The criminal: Please hold my hand...
I always wondered why Pikachu's electric shock blasts off team rocket but not Ash.
I guess Ash is just better grounded.
Elon Musk was born in South Africa, and made an electric car. What if he had been born in Madagascar?
He would have made a gas car
You can't break an electric toothbrush
If it stops working, it becomes a toothbrush.
My girlfriend wanted me to make her feel like she's the only girl in the world.
So I signed her up for Electrical Engineering.
What do you call an electrical component that is anti-yoga
An ohm resistor
A new source of electricity is found!
Lincoln is is infinitely rolling in his grave right now.
We can use that somehow.
Man sticks finger into electrical socket...
What happens next will shock you.
A man storms into his manager's office
and demands a raise. "And just so you know," he blusters, "three other companies are after me!"
"Is that so?" the manager says. "Which companies in particular?"
"The electricity company, the telephone company and the gas company."
My roommate is really dedicated to dental hygiene
just last night I heard her using an electric toothbrush for what seemed like an hour
My girlfriend doesn't think I can think fix the electric shower.
Well, she's in for a shock.
Accidentally used my wife's electric toothbrush...
I don't remember her eating fish for lunch.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You have been charged guilty for clickbait, and will now have to use the electric chair
What happens next will shock you
What do electrical engineers call their friends?
Ohmies
What did the blonde say after the lesson on electricity?
Watt?
There aren't many puns about electricity
I'd be shocked if I thought of one!
My electricity bill was running suspiciously high
Had the power company send someone over. He found a wire tapped into my house running to a neighbor's. Watt do you know, a Joule thief lives next to my Ohm.
I just found out the contractor that did my electrical work wasn't even licensed.
Needless to say, I was shocked!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I finally managed to get rid of that n**... electrical charge I've been carrying.
I'm ex-static!
If hydrolysis is splitting things with water and electrolysis is splitting things with electricity...
... What is analysis?
An electrical engineer, a mechanical engineer, and an IT admin are in a car that won't start.
Electrical Engineer: "It has to be the battery. Let's check that."
Mechanical Engineer: "No, I think it's the engine. Let's check that instead."
IT Admin: "How about this? Let's all get out of the car and get back in."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend was a violent serial killer...
Ended up getting caught some time back and sentenced to death by electric chair.
Fast-forward to day of execution.
Guard straps him in.
Guard: "Any last requests?"
Friend: "Remind me of buzzfeed clickbait articles 1 last time"
Guard: "The electric current is going to be started now, what happens next will shock you"
Q. What did Zimbabweans do before candles?
A. They had electricity.
What's Darth Vader's stage name when he plays his electric piano?
The synth lord
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a civil engineer were having a drink after work
As they drank, the conversation turned to God. Obviously, he was an engineer! But what sort of engineer?
The mechanical engineer brought up the perfection of the human joints and musculature. Surely that proved God was a mechanical engineer!
The electrical engineer responded that, without the brains and nerves, those muscles and joints would be useless. God must be an electrical engineer!
The civil engineer just looked at the two of them and shook his head. "Who else but a civil engineer would put the sewer outflow right in the middle of the entertainment district?"
What did the people of Venezuela use to light their homes before candles?
Electricity.
Mom never told me I shouldn't touch electric wires
Imagine my shock when I got grounded!
So an electrical engineer built a house entirely out of resistors.
The welcome mat said Ohm Sweet Ohm.
A maestro is convicted of murdering his wife, and sentenced to die in the electric chair.
On the night of the execution, he is strapped into the chair and they pull the switch. Nothing happens.
Thinking it must be a power supply problem, they turn off all the lights in the prison and try again. Still nothing.
They turn out all the lights in the town and try again. Nothing.
So, they let him go because he was such a poor conductor.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my women the same way I like my lightbulbs.
Not too bright, easy to turn on, and suspended from the ceiling with electrical cable.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Once a man, knocked on a door and an old lady opened the door. Without a word the man went in took a lot of cow dung from his bag and threw on the carpet. "You see , I have a wonder vaccum cleaner with me here, if this doesn't work I'll eat every piece of that dung" he said.
"Do you want tomato ketchup with it ? " The lady asked. "Cause you see, we still don't have electricity in this house"
Apple is set to release their new electric smart car in 2024...
It will be the first apple product with windows.
Have you heard about Ford's new electric coffee car?
It's the Mach-E Auto.
I headbutted my neighbour's electric panel.
I now face charges.
Before Elon Musk got into electric cars...
... he was plain old Lon Musk
A cold snap across the United States has seen Texas dealing with temperatures as low as -18
The demand for electricity has led to blackouts across the state, causing some people to go without Fox News for so long, they've stopped blaming the weather on Joe Biden.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dark pickup lines
Are you s**...?
Because I think about you every day.
Are you the s**... hotline?
Because I need to get your number.
Are you a noose?
Because I'd love to hang with you.
Are you a coffin?
Because I wish I was inside you.
Are you a death certificate?
Because I wish you were mine.
Are you an electrical outlet?
Because I'd like to stick my fingers inside you.
Are you death?
Because I long for your sweet embrace.
