electrician Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious electrician puns

Most people are shocked when they find out...

...how incompetent I am as an electrician.

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How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer?

Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".

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Many people are shocked when they find out..

That I'm a horrible electrician.

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Most people are shocked when they find out...

... how bad I am as an electrician

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Three triplets in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up.

The first one says, "I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here."

The second one says, "I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here."

The third one says, "I wanna be a boxer."

The other two ask, "Why do you want to be a boxer?"

He replies, "So I can beat the hell out of that rude bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us."

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What do you call when you cross a detective with an electrician

Sherlock Ohms

(sorry if this is repost, I thought of it in class)

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Two electricians are up on a pole

A granny walks by. One of the electricians shouts at the granny:

— Hey grandma, can you hold that cable that's on the ground next to you for a bit, please?

The granny picks up the cable. The same electrician then states to the other:

— Told you it was the ground.

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Two Electricians Are Working On A Telephone Pole

As they're working, an old woman walks by them. The first electrician calls out "Ma'am! Can you move that wire aside for us?"

She replies "Oh yes, deary", as she picks up the wire and moves it out of the sidewalk and strolls off.

The second electrician says to the first "I told you it wasn't live, moron."

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An electrician, a cobbler, and a mechanic

I asked an old man why he was sitting by himself in a bar. He told me, "If you replace a light bulb, it doesn't mean that you're an electrician. If you fix a shoe, it doesn't mean that you're a cobbler. And, if you change your oil, it doesn't mean you're a mechanic. But, if you fuck one goat..."

*edit - I derp'd (your vs. you're)

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Triplets talking about what they want to be when they grow up

3 unborn babies are in their mothers womb talking about what they want to be when they grow up. The first one says "I'll be a plumber so I can fix this leak in here." The second says "I'll be an electrician so I can get some lighting in here." The third one says "I want to be a hunter so the next time that weasel sticks his head in here I'll blast it off.

(Can't take credit for this, heard it a long time ago)

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An electrician was shocked by a live wire when he was asked why...

He said he couldn't resist.

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Triplets

There are triplets in a mothers womb, talking about what they want to do when they grow up.

The first triplet says "When I grow up, I will be an electrician, because it's too dark in here."

The second triplet says "When I grow up, I will be a plumber, because it's too wet in here."

The third triplet says, "When I grow up I want to be a boxer, so that I can beat up that bald guy who comes in here and spits on us all the time!"

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What did they call the man who gave a handjob to an electrician, a plumber, a welder, and a construction worker?

A Jack Off All Trades

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At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge.

The judge said, "State your name, occupation, and
the charge."
The defendant said, "I'm Sparks, I'm an electrician,
charged with
battery."
The judge winced and said, "Bailiff! Put
this man in a dry
cell!"

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Why do electricians wear pants?

Because they hate shorts.

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My grandma taught me to be like Jesus and spend every day helping the powerless.

So I became an electrician.

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Mom says it's just a phase..

..but I really want to become an electrician.

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Where do electricians get supplies?

The Ohm Depot.

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What is black and is stuck to a ceiling?

A not very good electrician...

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I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.

Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.

His first friend says, I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine.


His second friend says, I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine.


Paddy says, I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.


Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.


No, I'm serious, Paddy says. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed.

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Three dumb guys are in a bar talking about their cheating wives...

First guy says, "I'm sure my wife is having an affair with a plumber. Yesterday when I came home I found a lot of plumbing equipment under our bed that don't belong to me."

Second guy says, "I'm sure my wife is having an affair with an electrician. I came home yesterday to find an electrician's toolbox under our bed."

Third guy says, "You guys have it easy. My wife is having an affair with a horse!"
- "A horse?! How'd you find that out?"
- "Well, yesterday I came home to find a horse jockey hiding under our bed!"

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So damn rude.

Three triplets in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up.

The first one says, "I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here."

The second one says, "I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here."

The third one says, "I wanna be a boxer."

The other two ask, "Why do you want to be a boxer?"

He replies, "So I can beat the hell out of that rude bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us."

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An electrician comes home at 2 am....

His wife asks, "wire you insulate?"

He replies, "watt's the problem, I'm ohm aren't I?"

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I always wanted to be a pilot

Until I saw my first porno. Since then I can't decide if I want to be a plumber, electrician or the cable repair guy.

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An electrician was working at an apartment when he got electrocuted.

He died before he even knew watts up.

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So four guys are driving in a car..

And suddenly the car stops. The first guy is a chemists and suggests it could be a chemical problem and that they may be out of gas, the second guy is an electrician and says he believes it could be something with the spark plugs and that they should check that, the third guy is a mechanic and says he thinks it could be the engine and that it needed to be looked at, the last guy is an IT worker and suggests that they all get out of the car, then back in, and shut the doors then try again.

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A golden retriever walks into a bar

Stop reading if you heard this one before. The dog sits at the bar, locks eyes with the bartender and wearily says "One beer, one shot, please."

The bartender says "Holy moly! A talking dog! You should be in the circus, buddy!"

The goldie says "Why? Do they need an electrician?"

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What do you say when you break up with an electrician?

Watt is love?

Baby don't hertz me.

Don't hertz me.

N-ohm-ore.

N-ohm-ore.

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What is an electricians favorite type of news

Current events

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I used to date an electrician...

Boy, she could really light up a room!

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1, it's a goddamn electrician, what'd you expect?

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A philosopher, an electrician and a redneck walk into a bar

And they started arguing what was the fastest thing ever:

- From my point of view - says the philosopher - it's the thought, it has gone through your mind before you even notice it!

- Well - Says the electrician - to me, it's electricity, the moment you turn the lights on, they're on! Boom! Immediately!

- I'm afraid you're wrong - claims the redneck - to me, diarrhea is the fastest thing in the world.

Both stare at the redneck dumbfoundedly - diarrhea?!

- Heck yes, just yesterday I had bad diarrhea and just before I even thought of turning on the bathroom light, I had already shit myself.

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What's the difference between an Electrician and someone who's high?

The electrician knows where the ground is.

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What does an electrician say when he's confused?

Watt?!

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What does an electrician say while meditating?

Ohm... Ohm...

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What are the most funny Electrician jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Electrician? Well, here are the best Electrician dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Electrician pick up lines to share with friends.

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