Electrician Jokes
Following is our collection of resistor puns and engineer one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Electrician jokes for adults, dirty current jokes and clean contractor dad gags for kids.
The Best Electrician Puns
How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer?
Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".
Why do electricians wear pants?
Because they hate shorts.
Most people are shocked when they find out...
...how incompetent I am as an electrician.
What do you call when you cross a detective with an electrician
Sherlock Ohms
Two electricians are up on a pole
A granny walks by. One of the electricians shouts at the granny:
— Hey grandma, can you hold that cable that's on the ground next to you for a bit, please?
The granny picks up the cable. The same electrician then states to the other:
— Told you it was the ground.
Three men are chatting when the first says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a plumber.
"I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? A pipe."
"I think my wife is having an affair with an electrician," says the second. "I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? A box of fuses."
"I think my wife is having an affair with a horse," says the third man.
The others stare, shocked and bewildered.
"How can you tell?" they ask.
"Because," replies the third man, "I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? A jockey."
Why did Mr Ohm marry Mrs Ohm?
Because he couldn't resistor.
What happenes when you beat up an electrician?
You get charged with battery
I asked an electrician to fix an electrical issue at my house
He refused
An electrician was shocked by a live wire when he was asked why...
He said he couldn't resist.
Triplets
There are triplets in a mothers womb, talking about what they want to do when they grow up.
The first triplet says "When I grow up, I will be an electrician, because it's too dark in here."
The second triplet says "When I grow up, I will be a plumber, because it's too wet in here."
The third triplet says, "When I grow up I want to be a boxer, so that I can beat up that bald guy who comes in here and spits on us all the time!"
What did they call the man who gave a handjob to an electrician, a plumber, a welder, and a construction worker?
A Jack Off All Trades
At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge.
The judge said, "State your name, occupation, and
the charge."
The defendant said, "I'm Sparks, I'm an electrician,
charged with
battery."
The judge winced and said, "Bailiff! Put
this man in a dry
cell!"
I freaked out the electrician by opening the door naked.
I couldn't tell what gave him a bigger shock – whether the fact that I was naked, or that I got into his house.
Mom says it's just a phase..
..but I really want to become an electrician.
My grandma taught me to be like Jesus and spend every day helping the powerless.
So I became an electrician.
Where do electricians get supplies?
The Ohm Depot.
What is black and is stuck to a ceiling?
A not very good electrician...
I saw an electrician accidentally electrocuting himself today; you might say he was...
killed.
Two atoms are walking back home together...
One of the atom stumbles and falls
Atom: ouch, I think I just lost an electron.
Atom 2: are you sure?
Atom: I'm positive.
An electrician comes home at 2 am....
His wife asks, "wire you insulate?"
He replies, "watt's the problem, I'm ohm aren't I?"
I fell in love with a female electrician
She was a real live wire and i took her ohm with me
An electrician was working at an apartment when he got electrocuted.
He died before he even knew watts up.
What did the electrician say when he electrocuted himself?
That Hertz!
What do you say when you break up with an electrician?
Watt is love?
Baby don't hertz me.
Don't hertz me.
N-ohm-ore.
N-ohm-ore.
A golden retriever walks into a bar
Stop reading if you heard this one before. The dog sits at the bar, locks eyes with the bartender and wearily says "One beer, one shot, please."
The bartender says "Holy moly! A talking dog! You should be in the circus, buddy!"
The goldie says "Why? Do they need an electrician?"
What is an electricians favorite type of news
Current events
I used to date an electrician...
Boy, she could really light up a room!
What's the difference between an Electrician and someone who's high?
The electrician knows where the ground is.
Today I found out that the electrician didn't connect the protective grounding system at my home.
I was shocked.
Electricians should join the army
They'll make great solders
What does an electrician say when he's confused?
Watt?!
What does an electrician say while meditating?
Ohm... Ohm...
I'm pretty sure my electrician supports LGBT rights.
Just the other day I heard him talking about his transister.
What do you say to give an electrician encouragement?
"You conduit!"
What's the difference between a Gardener and an electrician?
Ask them to define the word bulb .
Why do Electricians make terrible revolutionaries?
They know resistance is a waste of energy.
As electricians we are always amped for the day.
We bolt out of bed, shocked as always with how much we charge you.
How do electricians meditate?
Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm
Did you hear about the recently unemployed electrician?
Apparently he's now ohm-less.
Did you hear the one about the colorblind electrician?
Maybe I shouldn't tell this joke, it was shocking
My frugal neighbor doesn't want to pay for an electrician to re-wire his house so he's going to try and do it himself. "How hard can it be?" he said.
I think he's in for a shock.
Even though I have an Engineering degree and I've re-wired my house to add updated lighting...
People are typically shocked when they find out I'm not a good electrician.
A local electrician was arrested and charged for battery, yesterday.
And spent the night in a dry cell.
I was talking to my friend the other day
He wants to be an electrician but wasn't sure if he was smart enough.
I told him you con-du-it
What do you call a skinny Asian electrician?
Light Ning
Two electrician friends meet at the hardware store after work
and chat about LED fixtures and other areas of illuminating rooms for a few hours. When the one electrician returns home to his wife that asks what took so long, he replies
"Me and my friend were just having a light conversation at the store."
A mechanic, an electrician and a software developer were in a car.
The car stops working.
-It's the carburetor, says the mechanic. We just have to get down and clean it.
-It's the ignition, says the electrician. We have to check the spark plugs and we'll make it work.
-"Guys, I propose getting out of the car and getting back in and maybe it will start working."
Two English men and an Irish man are in a bar.
The first English man says "I think my wife is cheating on me with an electrician, I found a pair of pliers under our bed."
The second English man says "My wife is cheating on me with a plumber, I found a pipe under our bed."
The Irish man looks at both English men and says "Well my wife is cheating on me with a horse. Last night I found a jokey under our bed."
My dad got fired recently for being such an irritated electrician
He never conducted himself positively at work
Electricians don't make great money
Most of them have to strip to make ends meet
Did you hear about the electrician who hired an Octopus?
Because many hands make lights work
Why did the electrician get killed in a debate?
He used conductive reasoning.
Why do electricians like talented train drivers?
Because they're good conductors
If Usain Bolt was an electrician...
His name would be Usain Volt
How does an electrician free Dobby?
With a shock.
Why didn't the electrician get shocked?
They were unionized.
What's the best way to cheer on an electrician?
You con-du-it!!!
An electrician installed two aeriels on the same roof . . .
The aeirels quickly fell in love, went on many dates and were soon married. The wedding went off without a hitch . . .
But there was no reception.
My poor skills as an electrician
Often leave people shocked
How do electricians relax?
They meditate.
*Oooohhhmmmm*
They do it after getting all amped up after a long day. It helps organize the mind after getting their wires crossed.
There is an abundance of tradesmen jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 61 funniest jokes and electrician puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any electrical witze you can hear about electrician.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.