Electrician Jokes
134 electrician jokes and hilarious electrician puns to laugh out loud. Read professions jokes about electrician that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Amish and auto electrician jokes are among those who any apprentice will find cute, not rude or mean. We have also retirement jokes which are hilarious, along with one-liners and knock knock puns. In the electrical field you should be serious, but these jokes will bring the lighter side of the electrical industry and let you work at your wires easier.
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Funniest Electrician Short Jokes
Short electrician jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The electrician humour may include short electrical engineer jokes also.
- An electrician comes home late.... Wife: "Wire you insulate?"
Electrician: "Watts it to you? I'm ohm, aren't I." - How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer? Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".
- A dog walks into a bar The dog says, "Gimme a beer." The bartender says, "Wow! You can talk! You should get a job at the circus!" The dog says, "They're hiring electricians at the circus?"
- What's the difference between God and an electrician? God doesn't think he's an electrician.
- a graphic designer, an astrophysicist, a dentist and an electrician walk into a bar it was queen and they were playing their first gig
- Jimmy, the electrician's son was grounded by his parents... I heard his parents say he had no potential
- An electrician was shocked by a live wire when he was asked why... He said he couldn't resist.
- My grandma taught me to be like Jesus and spend every day helping the powerless. So I became an electrician.
- What do an electrician and a mortician have in common? They're both shocked when they touch a live one.
- I saw an electrician accidentally electrocuting himself today; you might say he was... killed.
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Electrician One Liners
Which electrician one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with electrician? I can suggest the ones about electrical wiring and electrical.
- Why do electricians wear pants? Because they hate shorts.
- I asked an electrician to fix the electricity in my house... He Re-fused.
- Most people are shocked when they find out... ...how incompetent I am as an electrician.
- Where do electricians go when their job is done? They go h-ohm.
- What do you call when you cross a detective with an electrician Sherlock Ohms
- People are shocked to learn I'm not an electrician. Shocked.
- Why did Mr Ohm marry Mrs Ohm? Because he couldn't resistor.
- What happenes when you beat up an electrician? You get charged with battery
- I asked an electrician to fix an electrical issue at my house He refused
- I just had a shocking realization I'm a terrible electrician.
- Mom says it's just a phase.. ..but I really want to become an electrician.
- Where do electricians get supplies? The Ohm Depot.
- What is black and is stuck to a ceiling? A not very good electrician...
- What is an electricians favorite type of news Current events
- What did the electrician say when he electrocuted himself? That Hertz!
Hire Electrician Jokes
Here is a list of funny hire electrician jokes and even better hire electrician puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why is it always better to hire three electricians instead of just one? Because many hands make light work
- Did you hear about the electrician who hired an Octopus? Because many hands make lights work
Electrician School Jokes
Here is a list of funny electrician school jokes and even better electrician school puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Joke: Why do autistic kids make good electricians? Because they know how to light up a school.
Electrician Dad Jokes
Here is a list of funny electrician dad jokes and even better electrician dad puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My dad's an electrician And most people are shocked by how much he charges.
- My dad got fired recently for being such an irritated electrician He never conducted himself positively at work
- I always wanted to be a comedian as a child. My Dad told me I should practice in the bath, so I did. The bad thing is, he said the same thing to my brother. He wanted to be an electrician.
Ridiculous Electrician Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about electrician you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean plumber jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make electrician pranks.
As electricians we are always amped for the day.
We bolt out of bed, shocked as always with how much we charge you.
What's the difference between a gardener and an electrician?
Ask them to define the word bulb .
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Triplets
There are triplets in a mothers w**..., talking about what they want to do when they grow up.
The first triplet says "When I grow up, I will be an electrician, because it's too dark in here."
The second triplet says "When I grow up, I will be a plumber, because it's too wet in here."
The third triplet says, "When I grow up I want to be a boxer, so that I can beat up that bald guy who comes in here and spits on us all the time!"
Did you hear about the recently unemployed electrician?
Apparently he's now ohm-less.
My rubbish dog joke.
A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. He says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please'.
The barman says, 'Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!'
The dog replies, 'Why? Do they need electricians?'
A horse walks into a bar
A horse walks into a bar and says "bartender, scotch on the rocks please!"
The bartender, rubbing his eyes in disbelief says "did.. did you just talk?!"
"Yes I have, why?" Said the horse
"It's just, incredible! I've never seen a talking horse! You know, you should really go talk to the local circus, they would LOVE to have someone with your skills!"
The horse replied "why? Are they short on electricians?"
Why do Electricians make terrible revolutionaries?
They know resistance is a waste of energy.
A week before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school for show and tell.
First up was Mary. "My daddy served in Afghanistan. He was a paratrooper."
"A paratrooper?" Asked the teacher, who was awed.
"Yes, please look closer -- you can see his jump badge."
Second was Joe. "My granny served in Vietnam. She was a doctor."
"A doctor?" Asked the teacher, who was moved.
"Yeah, see? That's a stethoscope hanging around her neck."
Third was little Johnny, "This is my great grandpa. He was an electrician."
"An electrician?" Asked the teacher, who was perplexed.
"Yeah, here. You can see the two lightning bolts on his helmet"
Two electricians are up on a pole
A granny walks by. One of the electricians shouts at the granny:
— Hey grandma, can you hold that cable that's on the ground next to you for a bit, please?
The granny picks up the cable. The same electrician then states to the other:
— Told you it was the ground.
I'm pretty sure my electrician supports LGBT rights.
Just the other day I heard him talking about his transister.
What does an electrician say when he's confused?
Watt?!
What's the difference between an Electrician and someone who's high?
The electrician knows where the ground is.
If Usain Bolt was an electrician...
His name would be Usain Volt
What do you say to give an electrician encouragement?
"You conduit!"
What does an electrician say while meditating?
Ohm... Ohm...
An electrician's son removed one wire from each of his father's power plugs.
His father asks him furiously: Why did you do that? What's wrong with you?
Son: Nothing, dad. It's just a phase.
Father: You're grounded.
An electrician goes to a fortune teller.
When he arrives, the fortune teller says
"Look into this crystal ball and you will see how you die". When the electrician looks into the ball, he couldn't believe what he saw. He was shocked.
My frugal neighbor doesn't want to pay for an electrician to re-wire his house so he's going to try and do it himself. "How hard can it be?" he said.
I think he's in for a shock.
What happens when a Buzzfeed writer becomes an electrician with no experience?
What comes next will shock you
An electrician was working at an apartment when he got electrocuted.
He died before he even knew watts up.
What does an electrician say when you talk gibberish?
Watt are you talking about?
Why didn't the electrician get shocked?
They were unionized.
Two English men and an Irish man are in a bar.
The first English man says "I think my wife is cheating on me with an electrician, I found a pair of pliers under our bed."
The second English man says "My wife is cheating on me with a plumber, I found a pipe under our bed."
The Irish man looks at both English men and says "Well my wife is cheating on me with a horse. Last night I found a jokey under our bed."
At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge.
The judge said, "State your name, occupation, and
the charge."
The defendant said, "I'm Sparks, I'm an electrician,
charged with
battery."
The judge winced and said, "Bailiff! Put
this man in a dry
cell!"
A mechanic, an electrician and a software developer were in a car.
The car stops working.
-It's the carburetor, says the mechanic. We just have to get down and clean it.
-It's the ignition, says the electrician. We have to check the spark plugs and we'll make it work.
-"Guys, I propose getting out of the car and getting back in and maybe it will start working."
What do you call a skinny Asian electrician?
Light Ning
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did they call the man who gave a h**... to an electrician, a plumber, a welder, and a construction worker?
A j**... All Trades
Why do electricians like talented train drivers?
Because they're good conductors
How does an electrician free Dobby?
With a shock.
I used to date an electrician...
Boy, she could really light up a room!
We fight in darkness to serve the light, who are we?
Electricians
My poor skills as an electrician
Often leave people shocked
What do you say when you break up with an electrician?
Watt is love?
Baby don't hertz me.
Don't hertz me.
N-ohm-ore.
N-ohm-ore.
Two electrician friends meet at the hardware store after work
and chat about LED fixtures and other areas of illuminating rooms for a few hours. When the one electrician returns home to his wife that asks what took so long, he replies
"Me and my friend were just having a light conversation at the store."
I was talking to my friend the other day
He wants to be an electrician but wasn't sure if he was smart enough.
I told him you con-du-it
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I freaked out the electrician by opening the door n**....
I couldn't tell what gave him a bigger shock – whether the fact that I was n**..., or that I got into his house.
Today I found out that the electrician didn't connect the protective grounding system at my home.
I was shocked.
I fell in love with a female electrician
She was a real live wire and i took her ohm with me
Did you hear the one about the colorblind electrician?
Maybe I shouldn't tell this joke, it was shocking
An electrician installed two aeriels on the same roof . . .
The aeirels quickly fell in love, went on many dates and were soon married. The wedding went off without a hitch . . .
But there was no reception.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four surgeons
Four surgeons sit around discussing their favorite patients.
The first surgeon says, "I like operating on librarians. When you open them up, everything is in alphabetical order".
The second surgeon says, "I like operating on accountants. When you open them up, everything is in numerical order".
The third surgeon says, "I like operating on electricians. When you open them up, everything is color coded."
The fourth surgeon says, "I like operating on politicians."
The other three surgeons look at each other in disbelief.
The fourth surgeon continues, "Because they're heartless, gutless, spineless, and the a**... and head are interchangeable."
A local electrician was arrested and charged for battery, yesterday.
And spent the night in a dry cell.
Stay safe lads
What are an electrician's last words?
"Hey, what is that cable used f..."
Electricians should join the army
They'll make great solders
Even though I have an Engineering degree and I've re-wired my house to add updated lighting...
People are typically shocked when they find out I'm not a good electrician.
Three men are chatting when the first says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a plumber.
"I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? A pipe."
"I think my wife is having an affair with an electrician," says the second. "I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? A box of fuses."
"I think my wife is having an affair with a horse," says the third man.
The others stare, shocked and bewildered.
"How can you tell?" they ask.
"Because," replies the third man, "I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? A jockey."
Why did the electrician get killed in a debate?
He used conductive reasoning.
A construction contractor buys a 10 foot Italian submarine sandwich to feed his crew
It gets delivered a little early, so he sets it out on a table and goes back to finish up the morning's work. By the time him and his crew get back to it, though, there's something wrong. Most of the middle sections are missing, and the two ends have been pushed together, making it only a 4 foot sandwich.
He turns to his crew and asks if anyone snuck in to eat the sandwich. One by one, they all shake their heads and deny any wrongdoing. He's at a loss until one of his guys points out that the company had hired an electrician to do a bit of wiring that morning.
"Of course!" the boss exclaims, "he's the subcontractor!"
My grandfather was an electrician during WWII.
His uniform had a helmet with two thunderbolts on it
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. He's an electrician.
how did the arguement between the electricians come to an end?
they found common ground
Dave and his two friends are talking at a bar.
Dave and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber, the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Dave says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
I didn't realise how difficult it was being an electrician until I tried it myself
I was shocked
Two electricians are standing on a ladder leaned against a utility pole...
...when an elderly lady was passing below them. One of the electricians calls her.
\- Excuse me, ma'm! Could you pass us that wire, so we don't have to climb down?
\- This one, young man?
\- Yes, that one! Thank you so much, ma'm, you're very kind!
\- No problem, dear!
After the lady passed him the wire, and left, the electrician tells his mate:
\- See, Fred? I told you this was the neutral wire, but no, you had to insist that it was the phase line!
I've made up my mind. I'm choosing a career path as an electrician.
I just found out they get to work with dikes and strippers.
What do you call a piece of charcoal at the end of a wire?
An amateur electrician
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four Surgeons are getting coffee
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside is numbered".
"I think librarians are the easiest" said the second surgeon. "When you open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered".
The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. All their organs are color coded".
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They are heartless, spineless, gutless, and their head and their a**... are interchangeable."
What's an electrician's favourite fruit?
Currants!
She fell in love with...
She fell in love with an electrician, and she got shocked.
She fell in love with an artist, and things got sketchy.
She fell in love with a musician, and she got played.
She fell in love with a photographer...
People whose jobs require them to enter someone else's house, such as plumbers and electricians, what is the weirdest thing you've seen at a customer's house?
My wife.
