The Best 134 Electrician Jokes
Amish and auto electrician jokes are among those who any apprentice will find cute, not rude or mean. We have also retirement jokes which are hilarious, along with one-liners and knock knock puns. In the electrical field you should be serious, but these jokes will bring the lighter side of the electrical industry and let you work at your wires easier.
Top 10 of the Funniest Electrician Jokes and Puns
As electricians we are always amped for the day.
We bolt out of bed, shocked as always with how much we charge you.
What's the difference between a Gardener and an electrician?
Ask them to define the word bulb .
Most people are shocked when they find out...
...how incompetent I am as an electrician.
Triplets
There are triplets in a mothers womb, talking about what they want to do when they grow up.
The first triplet says "When I grow up, I will be an electrician, because it's too dark in here."
The second triplet says "When I grow up, I will be a plumber, because it's too wet in here."
The third triplet says, "When I grow up I want to be a boxer, so that I can beat up that bald guy who comes in here and spits on us all the time!"
Where do electricians get supplies?
The Ohm Depot.
Did you hear about the recently unemployed electrician?
Apparently he's now ohm-less.
What is an electricians favorite type of news
Current events
How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer?
Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".
This one is for the Electricians
A black guy, a red guy and a blue guy all walk into a bar.
The bartender says "we don't serve your kind around here, this here is the neutral bar".
What do electricians get for Christmas?
Shorts!
Why did Mr Ohm marry Mrs Ohm?
Because he couldn't resistor.
You can explore electrician apprentice reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean electrician construction dad jokes. There are also electrician puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What's the best way to cheer on an electrician?
You con-du-it!!!
Why do Electricians make terrible revolutionaries?
They know resistance is a waste of energy.
An electrician walks into intensive care
and yells: 'Hold your breaths, I am about to start replacing circuit breakers'
In class room . Russia , after the war .
Russia , 1951 . school teacher asked the children. Who were your fathers ? the first boy said, " driver " , the second "The Postman ." I ask a question about the third . He said, " electrician. He was wearing a helmet and helmet were two lightning . (P.s - sorry for my english :) )
Why do electricians make good mediators?
Because they're good at finding common ground.
Did you hear about the electrician who bought a Camaro using money he got from scrap wire?
He really crimped and saved
An electrician was shocked by a live wire when he was asked why...
He said he couldn't resist.
Two electricians are up on a pole
A granny walks by. One of the electricians shouts at the granny:
— Hey grandma, can you hold that cable that's on the ground next to you for a bit, please?
The granny picks up the cable. The same electrician then states to the other:
— Told you it was the ground.
I used to date an electrician but we had to break up...
There was just no spark.
How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, first off, it's called a lamp...
Why do electricians wear pants?
Because they hate shorts.
I looked up "my future as an electrician".
It was very bright.
How do electricians meditate?
Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm
What did one ethuastic Electrician say to the other sad Electrician?
Don't feel bad, YOU CONDUIT!!!
I'm pretty sure my electrician supports LGBT rights.
Just the other day I heard him talking about his transister.
What does an electrician say when he's confused?
Watt?!
What's the difference between an Electrician and someone who's high?
The electrician knows where the ground is.
The last words of an electrician
"Yeah you can turn it on, it is proven."
Did you hear about the electrician who beat up a baker?
He was charged with battery.
An electrician comes home at 2 am....
His wife asks, "wire you insulate?"
He replies, "watt's the problem, I'm ohm aren't I?"
Did you hear about the local electrician?
His rates are Shocking.
If Usain Bolt was an electrician...
His name would be Usain Volt
What is black and is stuck to a ceiling?
A not very good electrician...
What do you say to give an electrician encouragement?
"You conduit!"
A golden retriever walks into a bar
Stop reading if you heard this one before. The dog sits at the bar, locks eyes with the bartender and wearily says "One beer, one shot, please."
The bartender says "Holy moly! A talking dog! You should be in the circus, buddy!"
The goldie says "Why? Do they need an electrician?"
What did the electrician say while swimming across a river?
"Oh my God, that's a lot of current!"
It's black and hangs on a wire?
A bad electrician!
Did you hear how the deaf electrician asked his friend to repeat what he said?
Watt?
Today I met this electrician...
Sadly I can't remember Watt his name was.
What does an electrician say while meditating?
Ohm... Ohm...
A modest electrician...
...once saw a few naked wires, he immediately lowered his gaze.
What do electricians do with a joint?
They solder it.
An electrician goes to a fortune teller.
When he arrives, the fortune teller says
"Look into this crystal ball and you will see how you die". When the electrician looks into the ball, he couldn't believe what he saw. He was shocked.
What do you call when you cross a detective with an electrician
Sherlock Ohms
What do you call when you cross a detective with an electrician
Sherlock Ohms
Electricians don't make great money
Most of them have to strip to make ends meet
How many Episcopalians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three:
- one to fix the martinis
- one to call the electrician
- one to complain about how much better the old one was.
Did you hear about the electrician whose boss told him to put new wire throughout the whole house?
He refused.
My frugal neighbor doesn't want to pay for an electrician to re-wire his house so he's going to try and do it himself. "How hard can it be?" he said.
I think he's in for a shock.
A French man and an Irish man walk into a bar.
The French guy asks his friend: "say, how many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?".
The Irish replies: "how would I know? I'm neither an electrician nor an anthropologist!"
What happens when a Buzzfeed writer becomes an electrician with no experience?
What comes next will shock you
An electrician was working at an apartment when he got electrocuted.
He died before he even knew watts up.
What does an electrician say when you talk gibberish?
Watt are you talking about?
How many 'Dragonball Z' characters does it take to change a lightbulb?
All of them-over a six episode arc.
But Goku is the one to screw it in after mastering transformation into a Super Sayin Electrician.
My grandma taught me to be like Jesus and spend every day helping the powerless.
So I became an electrician.
What does an electrician call their OTP in fanfiction?
A power coupling.
A Mexican electrician accidentally touched a live wire.
He suffered a Corona discharge.
Why didn't the electrician get shocked?
They were unionized.
Two English men and an Irish man are in a bar.
The first English man says "I think my wife is cheating on me with an electrician, I found a pair of pliers under our bed."
The second English man says "My wife is cheating on me with a plumber, I found a pipe under our bed."
The Irish man looks at both English men and says "Well my wife is cheating on me with a horse. Last night I found a jokey under our bed."
At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge.
The judge said, "State your name, occupation, and
the charge."
The defendant said, "I'm Sparks, I'm an electrician,
charged with
battery."
The judge winced and said, "Bailiff! Put
this man in a dry
cell!"
What did the baker do to punish his electrician son?
Beat him with a breadboard
My electrician is amazing. He wired my whole house single-handedly.
It's like switchcraft!
A mechanic, an electrician and a software developer were in a car.
The car stops working.
-It's the carburetor, says the mechanic. We just have to get down and clean it.
-It's the ignition, says the electrician. We have to check the spark plugs and we'll make it work.
-"Guys, I propose getting out of the car and getting back in and maybe it will start working."
Did you hear about the first electrician to put a light in an outhouse for an Indian?
He was the first to wire ahead for a reservation.
What do you call a skinny Asian electrician?
Light Ning
What did they call the man who gave a handjob to an electrician, a plumber, a welder, and a construction worker?
A Jack Off All Trades
Why do electricians like talented train drivers?
Because they're good conductors
Mom says it's just a phase..
..but I really want to become an electrician.
What's the best part about being an electrician?
I'm always wired.
Why didn't the electrician allow his fellow gym-goer to work in?
Because he was doing a circuit.
How does an electrician free Dobby?
With a shock.
I used to date an electrician...
Boy, she could really light up a room!
How do electricians relax?
They meditate.
*Oooohhhmmmm*
They do it after getting all amped up after a long day. It helps organize the mind after getting their wires crossed.
How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just 1, it's part of their basic electrical training and certification.
What do you call a man who comes to your house to satisfy your wife for $120 an hour?
An electrician
Why are electricians terrible sailors?
They are always running aground.
My poor skills as an electrician
Often leave people shocked
What do you say when you break up with an electrician?
Watt is love?
Baby don't hertz me.
Don't hertz me.
N-ohm-ore.
N-ohm-ore.
An electrician walks into a bar
Bartender says Watt are you drinking today?
A professional electrician hurt himself on the job...
He must've been shocked!
Two electrician friends meet at the hardware store after work
and chat about LED fixtures and other areas of illuminating rooms for a few hours. When the one electrician returns home to his wife that asks what took so long, he replies
"Me and my friend were just having a light conversation at the store."
My dad got fired recently for being such an irritated electrician
He never conducted himself positively at work
I was talking to my friend the other day
He wants to be an electrician but wasn't sure if he was smart enough.
I told him you con-du-it
What do you call a freelance electrician?
A solderer of fortune.
Thought of this one while trying to fall asleep
What did the juvenile electrician say to the other juvenile electrician when asked to come play?
I can't, I'm grounded.
Electricians son got caught sneaking into party
he got grounded
How can you tell the electrician is having financial trouble?
His wife started stripping.
Electricians need to strip
To make ends meet.
How do you rile up an electrician but calm down a hostage?
Blow a fuse.
What social media site does an electrician use
Ohmegle
What did the fisherman say to the electrician?
"Mr. Spark, I don't reel so good"
What did the electrician say when he electrocuted himself?
That Hertz!
My electrician has been bragging that he ran power to his linseed garden.
Wired flax, but ok.
The electrician is married to his job
He loves it so much, that you could say between them, sparks fly
I freaked out the electrician by opening the door naked.
I couldn't tell what gave him a bigger shock – whether the fact that I was naked, or that I got into his house.
Today I found out that the electrician didn't connect the protective grounding system at my home.
I was shocked.
Why did the electrician become a news anchor?
He's always had a knack for current events.
What did the electrician say to his depressed colleague?
Keep soldering on!
A bricklayer, a gardener and an electrician
A bricklayer, a gardener and an electrician argue about whose job is the oldest
The bricklayer goes first: "You see, we were there already when the pyramids were being built!"
The gardener answers: "True, but we already planted the flowers and trees in the garden of Eden."
To that, the electrician says: "You are right! But when god said 'Let there by light', we already layed the cables!"
What did the electrician say to reassure his apprentice?
You conduit!
I fell in love with a female electrician
She was a real live wire and i took her ohm with me
Did you hear the one about the colorblind electrician?
Maybe I shouldn't tell this joke, it was shocking
Two atoms are walking back home together...
One of the atom stumbles and falls
Atom: ouch, I think I just lost an electron.
Atom 2: are you sure?
Atom: I'm positive.
An electrician installed two aeriels on the same roof . . .
The aeirels quickly fell in love, went on many dates and were soon married. The wedding went off without a hitch . . .
But there was no reception.
A local electrician was arrested and charged for battery, yesterday.
And spent the night in a dry cell.
What happenes when you beat up an electrician?
You get charged with battery
I fell in love with an electrician
I couldn't resist her
Electricians should join the army
They'll make great solders
Even though I have an Engineering degree and I've re-wired my house to add updated lighting...
People are typically shocked when they find out I'm not a good electrician.
Three men are chatting when the first says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a plumber.
"I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? A pipe."
"I think my wife is having an affair with an electrician," says the second. "I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? A box of fuses."
"I think my wife is having an affair with a horse," says the third man.
The others stare, shocked and bewildered.
"How can you tell?" they ask.
"Because," replies the third man, "I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? A jockey."
I saw an electrician accidentally electrocuting himself today; you might say he was...
killed.
Why did the electrician get killed in a debate?
He used conductive reasoning.
I asked an electrician to fix an electrical issue at my house
He refused
Did you hear about the electrician who hired an Octopus?
Because many hands make lights work
My grandfather was an electrician during WWII.
His uniform had a helmet with two thunderbolts on it
What do you call a detective and a part-time electrician?
Sherlock Ohms!
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. He's an electrician.
Dave and his two friends are talking at a bar.
Dave and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber, the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Dave says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
What do an electrician and a mortician have in common?
They're both shocked when they touch a live one.
An electrician comes home late....
Wife: "Wire you insulate?"
Electrician: "Watts it to you? I'm ohm, aren't I."
A Mathematician, an Electrician and a Lawyer are having a job interview.
The Interviewer asked the three Men, "What's the answer to one plus one?"
The Mathematician instantly replied, "Two!"
The Electrician went away, measured lots of things, and eventually came back and gladly said, "Two"
The lawyer looked around, closed the door, leaned in towards the interviewer, and quietly said, "What would you like it to be?"
Electricians have to strip to make ends meet
Shocking i know
My customers are shocked
when they realize I'm not a qualified electrician.
I didn't realise how difficult it was being an electrician until I tried it myself
I was shocked
Two electricians are standing on a ladder leaned against a utility pole...
...when an elderly lady was passing below them. One of the electricians calls her.
\- Excuse me, ma'm! Could you pass us that wire, so we don't have to climb down?
\- This one, young man?
\- Yes, that one! Thank you so much, ma'm, you're very kind!
\- No problem, dear!
After the lady passed him the wire, and left, the electrician tells his mate:
\- See, Fred? I told you this was the neutral wire, but no, you had to insist that it was the phase line!
I've made up my mind. I'm choosing a career path as an electrician.
I just found out they get to work with dikes and strippers.
What do you call a piece of charcoal at the end of a wire?
An amateur electrician
People are usually shocked
when they find out I'm not a good electrician
She fell in love with...
She fell in love with an electrician, and she got shocked.
She fell in love with an artist, and things got sketchy.
She fell in love with a musician, and she got played.
She fell in love with a photographer...
How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Duh, one. That's light work for them.
a graphic designer, an astrophysicist, a dentist and an electrician walk into a bar
it was queen and they were playing their first gig
A shocking revelation…
Most people are shocked when they realize theyre not an electrician.
What does an electrician say when he eats dinner? Ohm, ohm, ohm
Ohm, ohm, ohm
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the electrician spark jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working electrician repairman piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.